


Old Bots, New Tricks

by singingdeepinme



Category: Transformers Animated (2007)
Genre: Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff, Matchmaking, Miscommunication, Multi, No pressure or anything, Other, Reader is not named, and Cybertronians as a rule don't play very nice, because everybody's adults, canon what's that, other OCs are named, reader is a female, reader's family is named, sorry - Freeform, the rating will increase as the story continues, you're a teacher's aide who ends up pushed into the role of instructor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2020-11-01 14:40:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 82,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20816825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/singingdeepinme/pseuds/singingdeepinme
Summary: Moving to Detroit to work in an elementary school as a teacher's aide was a big leap. But one day, when a little girl approaches you asking for your help in teaching some "unique" friends of hers, you face one of your biggest challenges yet--students who are, at LEAST, three times your height, and countless years older than you.





	1. Local Lingos

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. Welcome to whatever this 'fic will become. Enjoy your stay, keep all of your parts within the vehicle at all times, and I don't care what Bumblebee says, the speed limit is NOT just a guideline.

“HAH! I win!”

Sari groaned, slumping forward and letting her head drop. “I was so _ close _!” She dropped the controller into her lap and folded her arms over her chest, beginning to pout.

To her left, her friend--no, her enemy, now--laughed and offered her a wink with his optic. “In your dreams, I was waaaay ahead of you the entire time!”

“Nuh-_ uh _!”

“Was so!”

She pouted more than was strictly necessary.

Chuckling, he reached out to give her lower lip a very gentle poke with a very large finger. “None of that. Tell you what, we can make it best outta five instead of best outta three?”

Pout gone, Sari straightened up and beamed. “Now you’re talkin’ my language!” She grabbed for the controller again. “But don’t think that I’m going to go easy on you just ‘cause you offered to play a bit more, Bumblebee!”

“Would I think that?” He gave a good-natured roll of both optics before turning his attention back to the game.

Sari smiled up at him. Way, way up. Sometimes it was a pain, having a friend who was, like, fifteen feet tall. Her dad had said something about her needing chiropractic care in thirty years, what with all the craning her neck had to do.

But that was a small price to pay in order to say that she was best friends with a living, breathing robot from outer space.

She didn’t let it show, of course, but sometimes it hit her just how weird it was that she spent most of her day with a bunch of people who were at least_ three times _ her height and, if they weren’t careful, could squish her like a bug one of these days. Man. She wondered what people at public schools would say. Or private schools.

...Schools in general.

“Hello? Earth to Sari?” Bumblebee said, making her blink.

She realized he was waving a servo in front of her face, his fingers wiggling. Adopting a sheepish grin, she siad, “Sorry, was just thinking.”

“About?”

She let her smile turn mischievous. “About how I’m gonna totally crush you in this next race.”

“You wish!”

“Speaking of language,” came a voice from behind them.

Sari was proud of herself for not jumping. Not that it mattered much, though. Bumblebee jumped, and when his backside hit the couch they were on, she went bouncing a good foot or so in the air anyhow. “Prowl, do you _ mind _?” Bumblebee groused, turning to shoot a glare over the back of the couch.

“What about language?” Sari asked, as nonchalantly as she was able.

Another of her friends, an even bigger robot named Prowl, was standing behind the couch. Though his expression was, as usual, neutral, Sari knew that he was inwardly smirking. He and Bumblebee always seemed to get a kick out of riling each other up, and Prowl especially liked to take advantage of how jumpy Bumblebee could occasionally get.

Reaching up to play with his visor, Prowl addressed Sari, ignoring the other ‘bot entirely. “I heard about how there are more than 6,500 languages on Earth. Yet I’ve never heard you speak anything beyond English. Do humans tend to only learn one language?”

Bumblebee gave a belabored sigh. Sari, meanwhile, perked up at the chance to teach her friends about something new.

“No! I mean, some do. But a lotta people learn languages if their parents speak something else, or if the family has to move somewhere. There was that TV show a while ago about some guy who got struck by lightning and lost, like, half his languages.”

Bumblebee blinked. “How does someone _ lose _their languages?”

“Scrambled their processor, sounds like,” Ratchet grunted as he stomped into the room. “But could he still talk?”

“Yeah! I think he could speak like, five languages or something. I dunno.” Sari waved a hand dismissively. “Why, you wanna learn a language, Prowl?”

Prowl shrugged. “We haven’t needed other languages for communication purposes yet. But it baffles me. There are so many people on this planet, and there must be so many situations where communication… simply cannot happen.”

“Well. Yeah? I mean, that’s what gestures and stuff are for.”

“Is there a reason you’re interrupting our racing, Prowl?” Bumblebee said.

“I’m asking our local expert a question. She can play with you while talking with me, she’s done it before,” Prowl said mildly.

Sari set the controller down next to herself and crawled onto her knees so she could face Prowl properly. She had to lean back to look up into his face, so she held onto the back of the couch for support. “I’m actually surprised we could all, y’know, speak the same language when we met. Do they speak English on Cybertron?”

Bumblebee let out a snicker. “Of course not! It was something we picked up when we got here. Basically hooked up into some tech we found and boom! Language. Easy peasy. So if Prowl actually wants to learn a language, he can just go do that without bugging us.”

“It isn’t that simple for us,” Ratchet corrected. “You remember how awkward our first few attempts at communication with locals went, before we fine-tuned the translations.”

“Well, yeah, but it doesn’t matter ‘cuz Sari could understand us just fine immediately. I don’t think we’ve ever had a misunderstanding.” Bumblebee puffed his chest out proudly, as though that was his doing.

“I never noticed that before, but yes. Isn’t it interesting that Sari could understand us--and us her--without issue from the start?” Prowl said. “What if we were to attempt another language?”

“I don’t wanna learn another language. The only language that speaks to me is racing,” Bumblebee said pointedly.

Sari grinned at him. “We’re getting there!”

“Well, hurry up, will ya? You gotta hit the ‘start’ button for me.”

“Why me? You’re Player One, you go ahead.”

Bumblebee sighed. “Right, right.” He hesitated, then pressed a button on his controller.

Sari turned and squinted at the screen. “Why are you in settings? Go back.”

“Okay, yeesh, someone’s pushy.” He went back, and hit another button.

Nothing happened on screen.

“Uhhh. Bumblebee?” Sari glanced between the screen and her friend. “Wait. Are you guys telling me that you can speak English, but you can’t _ read _ it?”

There was a beat of silence.

“Haven’t needed to, yet,” Ratchet pointed out. “We got all the tech we ourselves need, and it’s not like we’ve had to translate any of our data pads for you.”

“What? But I could have sworn--!” Sari turned to stare at Bumblebee, whose faceplate looked a little pink to her eyes. He was avoiding eye contact, sheepish about being caught. “We’ve been playing all sorts of video games ever since we met!” She paused. “No wonder you weren’t interested in that RPG I brought over!”

“Reading is for losers,” Bumblebee muttered.

“Says the ‘bot who wanted to join the Elite Guard,” Prowl said.

Bumblebee shot a scowl over his shoulder. “You can’t even read English either!”

Sari sighed. “Well, this is kinda lame,” she said, bringing one hand up so she could rest her cheek on it. “I had so many things I wanted to share! Like comic books! You gotta read to appreciate those.”

“Comic books?” She realized she’d caught Ratchet’s attention.

Turning to him, she nodded. “Yeah, it’s got all sorts of cool action and fighting bad guys and stuff! Kinda like what you guys do.”

“We could probably download an alphabet or three and figure things out from there,” Prowl said thoughtfully. 

“Why do we need to download an alphabet?” Optimus asked from the doorway.

“Sari thinks we need to learn to read an Earth language,” Prowl informed him.

Optimus rubbed at his own chin. “Well, the thought does have its’ merits,” he admitted. “It might make communication with other humans easier if we could pass messages back and forth.”

“Not to mention texting!” Sari brightened. “Oh my gosh we could send each other messages! We could be friends on social media! We could do a ton of cool stuff!”

Bumblebee was beginning to perk up. She had the feeling he wasn’t entirely on board with reading, but he tended to respond well to her energy, so when she got excited about something, he was usually ready to at least try it. “Huh, well, I mean, what could it hurt? We could download it and give it a go! Then I could read this stuff on the screen. Not that I need to, in order to beat you,” he added, giving her a good-natured grin.

“Whatever,” she shot back with a giggle. “How long would it take to download the English alphabet? I mean it’s only 26 letters, so you should be able to get it in no time.”

“Ratchet?” Optimus said.

The crotchety ‘bot started to plod toward where he kept his data pad. “All right, I’ll see what I can do about this. One minute.”

* * *

“So that says, ‘stuart!’”

“No,” Sari groaned. “That’s _ start _.”

“I don’t get this, it’s basically the same letters,” Bumblebee said, tilting his head and frowning.

Bulkhead reached up to scratch at his own helm. “Maybe we got the wrong alphabet?”

“No, we all made sure of that.”

It turned out that just because they could recognize the alphabet now didn’t mean they could read things.

Sari was about at her wits’ end. While at first it had been exciting, watching Bumblebee eagerly point out individual letters to her, she’d made the discovery that the leap between recognition and understanding was far too big for even a ‘bot to make overnight.

Especially without someone who knew how to help.

“We should take a break,” Sari said with a sigh. “I don’t think we’re getting to comic books tonight.”

Bumblebee’s expression fell. “Aww, but I was looking forward to that one you were talking about! WIth that guy who wears red and blue, like Optimus’s frame!”

Sari reached out to pat him on the leg--mostly because that was all she could reach. “Sorry, ‘Bee, we’ll have to do it another night. I’ve never had to explain reading to anybody before. I, uh, might not be the best person for it.”

“That’s all right,” Optimus said kindly. “It is still a step in the right direction for better understanding this world we find ourselves on, and it is another means with which we can better communicate with others.”

“Communicate,” Sari echoed. She chewed on her lower lip in thought. Then, she brightened. “Wait, wait, I have an amazing idea! Hold on!”

The ‘bots waited as she drew out a laptop computer, and began to boot it up. “Where’s the fire?” Bumblebee asked.

“Well, look, what we’re missing here is something so simple, I didn’t even think of it. You need a tutor! Or a teacher!”

“Oh! Like that tutor-bot your dad has you study with!” Bulkhead said with dawning understanding. “Maybe we could use it to learn?”

Sari’s mind flashed to that tired old bot and she sighed. “Ugh. That sounds awful, honestly. No, I’m thinking a real-life, human teacher. Y’know, someone who can explain stuff in a much more fun fashion. ‘Cuz that teacher-bot? Is so boring.”

“Learning is an integral part of growing up,” Optimus pointed out to her.

Sari stuck out her tongue. “I learn a lot while hanging out with you guys.”

He inclined his head and, satisfied, she rocked back on her heels, arms crossed. He continued, “Whatever the case, you realize that bringing another human into this base would be… tricky. We don’t need our base compromised, nor do we want them put in any sort of danger.”

“So we find a neutral meeting place!” Sari said brightly. 

“A neutral place, for us.” Ratchet looked unimpressed.

Sari bounced impatiently. “Oh come on, it’ll be good for you guys to go out and meet people! And me, too!” She pointed at Optimus. “Don’t think I don’t notice those looks you give me when I talk about other people.”

“I don’t have a _ look _,” he protested.

“You do too.”

“Look, fine, you want us to get a… teacher? For letters?”

“Not just letters. You can ask ‘em all kinds of stuff! About art, or about languages or whatever!” Sari grinned. 

Bulkhead leaned forward. “About art? That could be cool.”

“See? I’m a genius!” Seeing her laptop was up, she started to bring up the internet. “Now, just to find someone who would be a good match for you guys.”

“You have various stages of learning. Are you suggesting a general instructor, as opposed to a specialist?” Prowl asked.

“Yep. Someone who can show you the ropes. Especially with the more boring stuff so I don’t have to.” 

Prowl let out a huff that sounded amused.

“Now.” Sari cracked her knuckles, and brought up a search bar. “Let’s get started.”

And this… is where you came in.


	2. Meet the Teacher

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You run into a young girl in one of the classrooms, and despite all the alarm bells ringing in your head, you agree to follow her outside to meet a "special friend" of hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the encouraging comments and kudos <3

“Go to Detroit, they said,” you groused. “There are  _ so  _ many opportunities there, they said. Opportunities, my  _ ass _ .”

You were carefully washing out bits of chalk from your hair. Your watch said it was a little after three-thirty, and the little monsters you’d been helping with had charged gleefully for the schoolbuses not long ago.

It was only a week or so into your time here, and you already weren’t sure if you’d make it the full year.

Sighing, you gave yourself a once-over in the mirror. Was it because you were clearly inexperienced? Or because you didn’t have that air of confidence? Or was it because you weren’t a “real teacher” yet?

“Gotta get experience somehow,” you muttered to yourself, wiping your hands on your trousers. It left a chalk stain, but you decided against worrying about it. “It’s fine. Besides! It’s the weekend. You can go home, order some takeout, and just forget this whole thing happened until Monday. ...And do some work. But not tonight.”

The teacher you worked with, a Ms. Harrington, was kind enough to not dump a buttload of busywork on you… at least, not yet. You were certain it’d be coming soon enough.

Well, that just meant you needed to skedaddle before she changed her mind.

You picked up your bag and headed for the door, but a sound in one of the classrooms caught your attention.

You hesitated in the hallway. 

It was already mostly quiet; most kids had left for the day, and it wasn’t like this elementary school had that many after-school programs. Most people bused it to the nearest church or community center for those in this area, rather than hang around until it got dark. There were a couple teachers still around, but most of them were in the teacher’s room making copies.

So you couldn’t be blamed for poking your head into a classroom that wasn’t yours.

A little girl stood there, probably a 4th or 5th grader, drawing something on the blackboard.

“Hey there,” you chirped, causing her to look over at you. “You waiting for your teacher, kiddo?”

She paused, and set the chalk down before turning to you. “Not really.”

Curious, you walked in, peeking at the board. She had drawn several people, one of whom was antlike compared to whoever else the person was with. “Are you lost then? Or are you waiting for someone to pick you up?” you guessed.

She smiled. “None of those either,” she said. “I’m actually hoping to have a, uh, interview! Maybe with you?”

“An interview?” Was this a homework assignment? You thought that over. You hadn’t heard anything about that, but this girl was clearly in another class so maybe they were doing things a little differently. “I guess. Do you have to ask me questions or something?”

“Yep!” She gestured to one of the desks. “Please, have a seat.”

A little amused, you did as she directed, settling into the chair. Given it was meant for smaller bodies, it was a bit of an awkward fit, but you managed. 

Once you were settled, she approached you, solemn in the way only kids know how to be. 

“Now, what’s your experience in teaching?” she asked.

Huh. Was this an interview about jobs?

You decided to humor her. “I’m a new teacher,” you said. “Well, teacher’s aide, really. I still need to get a full license to teach all by myself.”

She nodded. “What about with special cases? Like, people with disabilities and stuff?”

You quirked an eyebrow. “I can speak some basic ASL, if that’s what you mean,” you said slowly. “I haven’t had much special training for it, but I’m a fast learner.”

She seemed pleased with that. “Great. And what about dealing with a range of ages?”

“Well, that’s not usual for a class in this school, but I guess it’s doable,” you said. “You seem awfully interested in what it’s like to be a teacher.”

She shot you a confused look. “Uh. Yeah. I guess? Anyway. Okay, next question: how good are you at keeping secrets?” She leaned in, raising an index finger. “I mean super, super big, super duper important secrets.”

This was more along what you were expecting. Suppressing a smile, you said, “I’m pretty good at it.” 

“Really?”

“Well, yeah. You know a teacher’s biggest secret?”

She blinked, then her eyes went wide with curiosity. “What?”

You winked. “Who their favorite student is. We never tell.”

“Oh! So teachers actually have favorites?”

“Yep. But like I said, that’s something we never share with students.”

She nodded, still wide-eyed. “So you can keep secrets, and keep calm even if someone makes you angry all the time?”

“Well, we’re human,” you pointed out. “Of course sometimes we lose our temper and get angry. I’m sure your teachers have before, right?”

That seemed to make her uncomfortable. “Look, uh… I don’t wanna get in trouble but.. I wanna tell you a secret right now. But you gotta promise not to tell!”

“I won’t,” you swore.

She searched your expression. After a moment, she leaned in further. 

“I’m actually... not a student here.”

You blinked.

“Huh. I guess that’s why you don’t look familiar,” you said after a moment. “So then, why are you here? Does your friend go here?”

“No, no, that’s…” She sighed. “Listen, I bet this is all pretty weird, but I need you to come outside with me for like, a minute for something.”

Alarm bells rang in your head. 

Something of that must have shown up on your face, because she held up her hands, waving them. “Don’t worry, this isn’t like a kidnapping attempt or anything! I just want you to meet somebody. They need a teacher, like,  _ bad _ , and you seem nice and you’re here and… please?”

You stared at her, the wheels in your head turning.

This sounded all sorts of sketchy. You hadn’t been in Detroit particularly long, but you didn’t need to in order to recognize what sounded like a setup.

The girl, meanwhile, had clasped her hands together and was mustering her best pitiful expression at you. It was a pretty good one, you had to admit. 

“...You said somebody needs a teacher?” you asked, at last. “They don’t go to school?”

“They can’t. ‘Cuz of uh, special circumstances, y’know?” she said, dropping her hands. “Come on, let me show you, and if you don’t freak out maybe you can think about helping my friends out?”

You glanced at the blackboard. “Your friends there?” you asked, nodding toward it.

That made her brighten. “Yeah! They’re the best. You’ll like ‘em. But uh, I only brought one along with me since we didn’t know if anyone would be here and if anybody would even want to meet.” She took a step back, watching you hopefully. “What do you say? If you freak out it’s okay, it won’t be the first time. Just… try?”

_ Won’t be the first time? _

That made your heart hurt. This kid had some friend who wanted to study, but had some sort of disability holding them back--something bad enough people had ‘freaked out’ at them. 

Despite the warnings flickering through your head, you got to your feet, and offered a nod to the girl. “I can’t promise anything,” you said, even as her lips started to form a delighted smile, “but I’ll at least meet your friend.”

She actually punched the air, leaping up with an excited, “ _ Yesss _ !” Then she rushed forward to grab you by the arm, tugigng you along. “Come on, come on, let’s go now! Oh my gosh, this is great!”

You let her tug you along. As you headed out into the hallway and toward the back doors that led to the teacher’s parking lot, you made eye contact with a teacher or two along the way. Both times, you shrugged, and they smiled before letting you get on with whatever you were doing. None of them seemed to recognize the girl, either.

The two of you stepped out into the teacher’s parking lot. It was about half-empty already. Your car was sitting in wait in its’ usual spot. That was the only thing of note out there, and after a moment of scanning around, you shot the girl a curious look.

She grinned. “Don’t worry, he’s here. I just, uh, gotta make sure the coast is clear first. You can hang out here by the door if you want!”

You set your bag down on the ground to wait as she darted into the parking lot. It looked like she was making a beeline for a yellow compact car. You couldn’t see anyone through the windows from this angle. Which was a shame--you were hoping to get an idea of this ‘person with a disability’ the girl had brought up.

The window rolled down a bit as she approached, and the girl leaned up against the door to chatter at someone. You glanced over at your car--a beat-up, second-hand that had thus far survived your time in school, as well as your first steps out into the world. Hopefully it would survive a year or two yet. Teacher’s aides didn’t make much more than peanuts.

“Hey!”

You turned to see the girl waving at you. 

“Can you c’mere a sec?”

Putting on your most professional smile, you picked up your bag and made your way over. The girl was grinning somewhat nervously. As you approached, you glanced in the window to see…

...No one.

You glanced at the girl. She seemed to be waiting for some sort of reaction from you.

“Are they… not here?” you asked after a moment. 

She blinked. Glanced at the car. Back at you.

“For real? Do you not watch the news? Or go out at all?” she asked.

Ouch. “I just moved here for this job,” you said, somewhat defensively. “And I haven’t had much chance to keep up with current events. Is this like, one of those Google cars that drives itself or something?”

The girl brightened. “Uhhh. Something like that.” 

Why did she keep looking at the car?

“Well, if your friend isn’t here, then--”

“Wait!” She grabbed for your hand again. “Look, I know this is kinda sketchy, but I was hoping that maybe you could join me and we could go to the park to talk about this with my friend?”

You shot her a look. “Listen. What’s your name?”

“It’s Sari.”

“Sari,” you repeated. You let some of your sympathy seep through as you spoke. “I feel for your friend, I really do. And I’d like to help. But you must understand how strange it is that you’re asking me to go with a stranger in a strange car--”

The ‘strange car’ let out a rumble, as though it were about to start.

You blinked, glancing at it. “What on earth--”

“Nothing!” Sari squeaked, while at the same time hitting the car door with her elbow.

You furrowed your brow at her.

Her nervous smile grew.

“Oookay. Look. If your friend decides to meet me themselves, I’ll be happy to chat with them and try to figure out how to help you. But I can’t in good conscience get into this car and go to some mysterious location. Would you, if you were in my situation?”

Someone snickered, and it wasn’t Sari.

Sari hit the car door again. “Okay, but--”

You, meanwhile, straightened up and looked around. “Who’s there?” you said with a sigh. “Is it your friend? I feel like I’m having a prank played on me and I don’t appreciate it.”

There was a beat of silence.

“Bumblebee,” Sari said, a hint of defeat in her voice. “You might as well come out and get this over with.”

“‘Kay,” said a mechanical voice that sounded… very much like it was coming from the car.

Then, the car  _ moved. _

You yelped and took a step back from it as the car lurched and twisted. Sari stayed where she was, looking for all the world like she’d seen this a million times. Maybe she had.

But you?

You stared up, up, and up, at a creature that towered over you. It kept the same paint job of yellow and black, but parts of it had split to form legs and arms. It had a head, with bright blue optics that, you realized, was staring right back down at you.

And it had a mouth, which appeared to be pulled into an amused smirk.

Your fingers gave out and you dropped your bag.

“Hi, I’m Bumblebee!” the creature said, with the same voice you’d heard before. “If you’re gonna run and scream and stuff can you at least not freak out other people while you’re at it? The last one was a real doozy.”

You blinked. 

“Give ‘er a second,” Sari told it-- _ him _ ? You felt someone patting your arm. “You okay?”

“You…” You swallowed. “You’re a robot.”

“Autobot,” the thing--Bumblebee?--corrected you. “And you’re a teacher, right?”

“Uh. Close enough, I guess.”

“Sweet, we’ve been looking for one. Let’s go on a ride, Sari and I can explain while we go.” His smirk softened into a more genuine smile. “I’ll have ya back to your car by 8, promise.”

Looking for a teacher? For a  _ robot _ ?

You glanced at Sari, who offered a shrug. “He doesn’t bite. And neither do any of my other friends.”

At a loss for what else to do, you offered one short nod.

“Yes!” the robot whooped excitedly. Then, he dropped into himself and… a minute later, you were looking at the little yellow car again. Only this time, the passenger and driver side doors were open. “Hop in!” it chirped.

You watched as Sari climbed into the driver’s side. 

That, more than anything else, got you moving. “Hey, let me get on that side, you shouldn’t be driving,” you said, moving around to that side of the car.

Sari giggled, but scooted over to the passenger side obediently. “Neither of us are driving. ‘Bee’s a good driver all by himself.”

You settled into the driver’s seat, and pulled on the seatbelt. 

As you did, the door closed. And the instant your seatbelt clicked into place, the car took off.

You let out a yelp and clutched the steering wheel on instinct. “Oh my god--!”

“Easy,” you heard Bumblebee’s voice. He gave a good-natured chuckle. “You can hold on if you want, but you’re in good servos.”

Glancing at Sari, you saw her give you a thumbs up. 

Slowly, you were able to pry your hands off of the steering wheel. “I’ve never seen technology so…. so…  _ alive _ ,” you said. “I mean, I work with service ‘bots all the time, but this is a whole new level of…” You sighed. “Wow.”

“Hear that? I’m a ‘wow’!” Bumblebee bragged.

Sari scowled at the dashboard. “You gonna explain all this or should I?” was all she said.

“You go ahead. If I talk and drive I might upset ‘Teach.”

‘Teach? Oh, guess that meant you.

“Right." Sari turned to you, a light of determination sparking in her eyes. “Right, so, like Bumblebee said. Autobots.”

You wound your way through town, and as Sari spoke (with Bumblebee piping up on occasion), you gradually let go of the steering wheel. Bumblebee, true to his word, was a safe driver, though you could almost feel how impatient he was waiting at stop lights. But more than that…

You were sitting in a living, talking, automobile that turned into something vaguely humanoid. With a little girl who treated it like the most normal thing in the world.

When Sari was finally done, you reached up to rub at your temples.

“So let me get this straight,” you said to her, though you were sure Bumblebee was listening. “You’re telling me that a bunch of space alien robots--Autobots,” you corrected yourself, for Bumblebee’s sake. “...Have crash-landed on earth, and you’ve befriended them, but you can’t fill in everything they want or need to know so you… want a teacher to help?”

“Yep, that about covers it,” Sari said cheerfully.

“Isn’t the government working with these guys or something? I mean, no offense, but you  _ are  _ aliens,” you said, directing the comment to Bumblebee.

He huffed. “We help with local law enforcement, but we don’t really deal with the bigwigs. Probably because they know better than to mess with us,” he said proudly.

You doubted that was true, but decided to keep that to yourself. “Can’t local law enforcement hook you up with some sort of educational program? Or the library? Or--”

“See, uh.” Sari reached up to tug at one of her own pigtails. “We  _ tried  _ that already.”

You remembered her comment about ‘freakouts’, and quietly went, “...Oh.”

There was another beat of quiet.

“But hey! You’re here now,” Bumblebee cut in cheerfully. “And guess what? Now we’re here!”

You looked up to realize you were staring at another parking lot. This one was for what appeared to be a worn-down former drive-in movie theater. The screen was still up, though looking weathered from the time it had been out in the elements. There were a few other vehicles hanging around, but you didn’t see any other people.

Bumblebee came to a stop, and the door popped open. 

You unbuckled your seatbelt, and slid out, eyeing the other vehicles warily. Perhaps that showed on your face, because Bumblebee let out a chuckle.

“I like you, ‘Teach, you’re quick on the uptake,” he said.

You glanced over your shoulder to see he was once again towering over you. Only this time, Sari was perched on one of his shoulders, her arms wrapped around as much of his neck as she could reach. Both were grinning at you in apparent approval.

You still felt a bit like the universe was playing a joke on you.

“Uh, now what?” you asked.

“Now, you meet the group!” Sari raised her voice. “Guys, it’s fine, she won’t freak!”

There was a rumble.

You turned back just in time to see something you’d never forget.

Every single vehicle you had taken note of before was twisting and shaping into a humanoid shape, just as Bumblebee had. Only these guys… were even larger. 

You felt your heart pounding in your chest as you fought the urge to run screaming.

They all were different makes and styles. There was one in colors that reminded you of Superman; another that was as round as he was big; yet another that looked, for lack of a better word, grizzled; and finally, a thin one with a sharp pair of sunglasses that made you think of a police officer.

The Superman one moved first. “Hello,” he greeted you gravely. “Thank you for taking the time to meet us immediately after working. I hope you didn’t have any plans we’re interfering with.”

You blinked. “H-h-hi,” you squeaked. You cleared your throat, and tried again. “That’s fine. If you work at a school, your usual Friday night plans are grading papers,” you said. That was better, you didn’t sound quite as panicked.

“Well, she hasn’t run screaming yet, that’s a start,” the big round one said, in what you assumed was supposed to be a whisper to the grizzled-looking one.

The Superman-bot silenced him with a look. Then, he turned back to you. Slowly, he crouched, and extended a gigantic hand toward you. As he neared, he offered you his pointer finger, stopping a good several feet away from you.

Fighting the urge to bite your lower lip in nervousness, you glanced around at the collected group. Then, you eased forward, and wrapped both of your hands around the single digit.

“My name is Optimus Prime,” he said. Was it you, or did his voice grow warmer? He bobbed his pointer finger once, twice, three times, in an imitation of a proper handshake.

You gave your name. “N-nice to meet you.”

He withdrew his finger and gestured to the others. “I’d like to introduce my crew.”

And he did, one by one. The big, round one was named Bulkhead; the thin one Prowl; the grizzled-vet one Ratchet.

“And of course, you already met Bumblebee.”

You turned to offer him a more sheepish expression. “Uh, yeah, though I didn’t introduce myself properly. Sorry ‘bout that.”

He shrugged with the shoulder Sari wasn’t sitting on. “It’s cool, the look on your face  _ was  _ pretty priceless.”

“Bumblebee, don’t tell me you transformed without warning in front of a civilian,” Optimus Prime said.

“Okay, I won’t!” Bumblebee said, in a playful sing-song voice.

Despite yourself, you found yourself suppressing a smile. 

“Were you briefed on the purpose of this meeting?” Optimus asked you.

“To some extent,” you said. You shoved your hands in your pockets, then pulled them back out, realizing that wouldn’t look super professional. “You want someone to lend a hand with certain aspects of life on Earth, right? Something that your friend Sari can’t provide.”

“Or want to,” Sari muttered.

“Sari has been a great help to the team in more ways than we can express,” Optimus said. “But there are simply some things beyond her expertise. That’s where someone like you would come in.”

You tilted your head. “She talked about you guys needing to learn things like phonics?”

“That is the tip of the iceberg. We may be here a while, so the more we can learn, the better.”

“We each require our own instruction on certain matters,” Prowl said. His tone, and his posture, all indicated a lack of interest, as though he had better things to be doing. 

_ Maybe he does. What do I know about what an eighteen-foot-tall robot has to do during his day? _

“Such as?” you inquired.

“I want art lessons,” Bulkhead said bluntly.

You blinked. “Oh.” Tilting your head, you frowned. “Uh, well, can you be more specific? Are you interested in art history, or doing art? There’s so much to cover in both of those things.”

He seemed to perk up. “You can teach about art history?”

Trying to appear more confident than you actually felt, you nodded. “Well, I’d need to brush up on some things, but sure. You interested in purely American art? Or European? Or somewhere else in the world?”

Bulkhead seemed to be beaming. “Sari, you’re a genius, this is great!”

“Hold on, this ain’t only about your love for fiddlin’ with construction paper and wires,” Ratchet interjected. He took a step forward to glower at you. “I want to know about medical history. Humans are so different from Cybertronians. Now, can you provide explanations on that or can’t you?”

“Again, I’d need to brush up on a few things, but given preparation time, we could certainly discuss that stuff,” you said, scrambling at the change in topic. “And I could recommend a few podcasts for you to listen to that talk about exactly those things, too. That way you get it from a human’s perspective and not just from your screen.”

Ratchet huffed.

“What about nature?” Prowl asked, almost reluctantly.

“What about it? You interested in wildlife? Plantlife? The ocean? Zoos?”

Prowl quirked a brow at you.

“Never mind that stuff, I wanna know about all the cool places to hang out!” Bumblebee cut in, darting around to join his companions. The ground shook under his weight as he spread out his arms to catch your attention. “I wanna know about comic books! Conventions! The latest music! All that stuff!”

“Hold on,” you interjected. “This is a lot. I’m a little confused. Are you asking for a once-a-week kind of tutor, or a full-time teacher? Because it sounds like the second thing.”

“Well, the second would be preferred. We wouldn’t necessarily hold regular hours, mind you,” Optimus said, reaching up to rub at the back of his head. You wondered where his head ended and his helmet began. “But the more we know about this planet, the better. Especially as we intend to stay a while.”

You glanced around at the group of robots. Bumblebee reminded you almost of a kid, nearly bouncing in place. Ratchet and Prowl looked unimpressed. Bulkhead looked hopeful.

You sighed. “The thing is, I have a full-time job already. And I kind of need it to pay bills, and eventually get my credentials so I can teach in my own classroom, you know?”

“Oh psh, is that all?” Sari said. She waved a hand as if to dismiss your worries. “I’ll get my dad to hire you. It’ll be fine, you can just get your credentials working with us.”

You blinked up at her. “Your dad?” you echoed.

“Oh, boy. You  _ really  _ don’t know, do ya?” She sighed, and tapped one side of Bumblebee’s face. He held out a giant hand for her to slip onto. Once she was settled, he carefully brought her to the ground. Even after she’d been set down, she held onto Bumblebee’s hand, smirking at you. “How many Sari’s are there in Detroit? Especially girls named Sari Sumdac?”

...Sumdac?

“Wait. You mean… as in Sumdac Systems?” you said slowly. When she nodded, you glanced up at the robots, then back to her. “So you could just… go out and hire  _ anyone you wanted _ , including university professors? TEDTalkers? Librarians?” She nodded again. “Why me?”

“Because you are the first to not only stand your ground when meeting us, but also talk with us like we’re people,” Optimus Prime said, making you turn to look at him. He had yet to move from where he’d crouched. “That is… rarer than you’d think.”

“Chalk it up to people used to just telling robots what to do,” Sari sniffed. 

“This is a lot,” you repeated, cutting in. “Look, I’m sure it’s a lot for you too, but I just learned you guys exist and apparently live in Detroit? And this is somehow  _ not  _ international news? And you want me-- _ me _ \--to teach you about things?” You fought down the urge to laugh at that. “Can I.. think about this?”

“Of course,” Optimus said kindly, rising to his feet. “Sari, is there some way you two can communicate in the meantime?”

Sari seemed to deflate. Releasing Bumblebee’s hand, she trudged over. “Yeah, I guess. What’s your phone number? We can swap those.”

You reached for your phone... And then bit off a swear. “Oh for--ugh, I can’t believe this. My bag.”

“Your--oh, your stuff?” Bumblebee asked.

You looked up at him. “I left it in the parking lot.” You sighed. “Well, it’s probably gone now. My phone, my wallet…” 

He shared a look with Optimus. Then, in the next second, you were faced with a yellow car, the door open.

“C’mon! We gotta go get your stuff before it’s taken, then!”

“Uh.” You glanced at the other robots.

“Go, kid.” Ratchet folded his arms over his chest.

“Uh… thank you. Nice to meet you!” You called, clambering into the car.

Almost before you were fully seated, a seatbelt snaked out and latched itself into place, and you were taking off… at a much higher speed than the way you’d come in.

You clutched at his steering wheel as you peeled out onto the highway that would lead you back toward your school. “Wait, you left Sari!” you said in realization.

“Sari’s a big girl and she’s with the others, she’s fine!” Bumblebee said. “I shoulda realized you were carryin’ important stuff in that thing.”

“That’s very sweet, but even if we go faster it likely got plucked off the pavement five minutes after we left, and--!” you yelped as his engines roared.

“C’mon now, no negative talk! Let’s get back there and find it!”

You nodded, and leaned back in your seat.

“Let’s talk about something else. Like the teaching! S’there a reason you’re not sure about it? Is it ‘cuz of what we are?”

Shaking your head, you leaned back in your seat. Sudden turns and swerves made you squeeze the steering wheel, but you forced yourself to relax each time. “That’s not entirely it. It’s… it’d be a big change, y’know? And I’m not sure I could put ‘tutoring alien Autobots’ on my resume.”

“Whazzat?”

“What, a resume?” You flinched as he swerved to avoid another car. Biting down the urge to curse, you said, “It’s a paper that explains what kind of jobs you’ve had in the past. You give it to employers if you want to work for them. That way they know if you’re a good match.”

“Oh. Well, you don’t need a piece of paper for us! And even if you do, you don’t have to say exactly what you were doing, right?”

You blinked. “Something tells me you guys have a similar system back wherever you’re from.”

“Yeah! Though we just have it all on datapads. Anyway, if that’s what you’re worried about, you can just say you worked for Sari’s dad directly. And that’s assuming you’d want to leave us.”

Without warning, the car around you came to a stop, and you realized you were back in familiar territory--the parking lot at school. 

“You--how--” you started, glancing at your watch. “It was only three and a half minutes--”

“Three minutes and twenty-four seconds!” The door swung open.

You slowly clambered out. Was it you, or did it feel like Bumblebee was trying not to laugh at you? “That’s amazing,” you said, getting to your feet.

He transformed. “I know, I’m pretty awesome,” he said matter-of-factly. “Come on, let’s find your stuff!”

The two of you began to search around the parking lot. Your bag was not where it had been dropped, and you immediately began to fear the worst. So much for takeout. Or a relaxing weekend. You’d have to spend it all calling up your credit card companies and applying for a new license, not to mention getting a new set of keys and--   


“This it?”

You blinked, startled out of your reverie.

Bumblebee stood next to your car, holding something familiar up between his thumb and forefinger.

“Oh my god, it’s there? Does it have everything in it?” You rushed over, relief making you stumble a bit.

He offered it to you. “Dunno, figured you didn’t want a strange car digging into your stuff.” He grinned to ease the sting of the comment.

You accepted the bag. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry for calling you strange,” you said, opening your bag and looking in. To your amazement, everything seemed to be there: phone, keys, wallet, your notes, your pens,  _ everything _ . “And I have to thank you for dropping everything to get me back here in such a rush.”

“Hey, I’m the fastest ‘bot around, you rode with the right guy.” Bumblebee puffed his chest out, and seemed pleased when you let out an amused giggle. “So it’s all okay?”

“Yeah. Thank you so much.” You blinked, and said. “Oh, hang on a second! I didn’t give Sari-- wait a sec.” 

He waited, resting his hands on his hips as he watched you pull out your notebook and scribble your number (and for good measure, your email). You used up the whole page, carefully tearing it out and offering the sheet up to Bumblebee.

“Here’s my number,” you said.

Bumblebee accepted the piece of paper just as gingerly as he’d held your bag a moment ago. He glanced between it and you for a second, seemingly solemn.

“...What is it?” you asked. 

“Oh, nothing. It’s just… I dunno how to react.” A hint of a smile pulled at the corner of his lips. “It’s my first time I’ve ever gotten a number from a girl, after all.”

You stared up at him, and felt your face go hot.

At the same time, however, you found yourself laughing. “Oh my god,” was all you said.

He chuckled. “Hope you decide to work with us, ‘Teach. See ya!”

With a salute, he changed back... And in seconds was heading out just as fast as he’d come.

You stared after the yellow compact car, your head spinning.

“Wow,” you said, letting out another chuckle. “What a goofball.”


	3. Doing Science

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How do you feel about elevator rides?

You were comfortably dressed in your pjs and working on your second box of Chinese takeout when you got a text from Sari confirming it was you. You responded, and suddenly it was like Sari had decided the best way to sway you was to become best friends.

Over the weekend, she messaged you nigh-constantly. About her day, about her studies, about things the ‘bots were doing or asking her about. Once or twice, you got sent a photo, too.

If you were pressed to give your opinion, you found the whole thing wildly inappropriate.

Sari wasn’t even ten yet, it turned out, and yet she was messaging you and treating you like you were equals. Never mind how you felt about a literal kid using all the features on a phone by herself. Never mind that her friends were  _ giant aliens _ .

Although that being said, they seemed to dote on her.

The photos showed Sari clearly having a great time with whatever shenanigans were happening. You spotted the big round guy--Bulkhead?--in a giant sleeping bag in the background of one photo, along with a large Twister game taking place. The explanation said that Sari was teaching them how to ‘cut loose’. There was another photo of Prowl watching the television, where some kind of nature documentary was being shown, with the caption “Laaaame” added on. 

Despite your misgivings, you were starting to become enthralled.

Going from teaching a bunch of screaming kids to five adult(?) robot aliens seemed like one hell of an upgrade. Especially if Sari’s father, the head of Sumdac Systems himself, would be footing the bill. You’d heard about teachers going to private schools in order to boost their salaries--wouldn’t this just be the same thing?

And, you realized, you wouldn’t be able to forgive yourself if you turned this down.

So, on Sunday night when Sari sent you an innocent text asking about your day, you took a breath and typed out the message you’d been thinking on all weekend.

**You** : I’ll do it.

Almost immediately, you saw the icon that someone was typing.

**Sari** : OMG REALLY?

**You** : Really. I’d be nuts not to at least try to help your friends out.

**Sari** : Omg omg omg this is awesome we’ll come get you where do you live

**You** : What do you mean?

**Sari** : We’ll meet you at your school parking lot! Bring your stuff! Bring all the stuff!

Frowning, you shook your head and began to type as quickly as you could.

**You** : Wait a second, Sari. 

**You** : Before we get into any of this teaching stuff, I need to meet your dad and get my contract sorted out. And I need to give them all a needs analysis check. To see what they need and want to learn. 

**You** : Not to mention developing a curriculum that matches five very different sets of needs

**Sari** : Okay fiiiiine, can you come on Monday?

**You** : Sure, come where?

**Sari** : Just come to my dad’s tower. 9am, Monday morning. I’ll be getting tutored, but the lady at the desk will give you your contract and someone will be there to pick you up so you can go meet the rest of the guys and get started on all that needs-stuff.

You considered. 

**You** : Can we make it 5pm instead? I can’t just quit my job suddenly like that. I gotta let them know I’m quitting.

**Sari** : Oh that makes sense. Ok.

You sighed in relief. 

**Sari** : In that case, back to the original plan. I’ll have someone pick you up from the school parking lot soon as class is over.

**You** : Okay, thank you.

Sari sent you a smiley in response.

You waited a moment or two to make sure no further messages were coming. After a moment, satisfied, you let yourself relax. It seemed like things were decided for now.

Reaching out, you set your phone down on the table next to yourself. Then, you sighed, and pulled your laptop over. Time to get researching.

~*~

“Ms. Harrington, can I have a moment with you?”

She looked up from her desk, where she’d already sat down to begin grading papers. “Of course. What is it?”

You hesitated.

The kids had fled only ten minutes prior, and the sudden stillness of the room was almost jarring. Even more so with the way Ms. Harrington was kindly regarding you, waiting for you to speak.

“Um. So, over the weekend, a private employer approached me about… changing my job,” you said hesitantly.

Her eyebrows went up. “ _ What _ ? But...You’ve only been here a little over a week!”

“I know.”

“What ‘private employer’ is this?” She was beginning to frown. “Nannying and tutoring are completely different animals compared to working in a public school, you know that.”

“Um.” You tried not to fidget. “Sumdac Systems.”

“ _ Sumdac _ ?” She pressed her right hand to her chest, eyes widening. “How on earth did you meet anyone from there?”

“It was just a coincidence, but now I can’t bring myself to say no. The offer is… beyond anything I’d expect, especially for someone of my experience.” You bit your lower lip. “I’ve enjoyed the past week or so with you here, but… this is something I can’t say no to.”

She regarded you. 

“Well, if that is how you feel, I cannot stop you. Did you put your two weeks’ notice in with the principal?”

You shook your head. “Not yet. I wanted to talk with you first.”

“Hm.” She got to her feet. “All right, let’s go break the news. Although, dear?”

“Yeah?”

“You know what you’re getting into, don’t you?" She hesitated. "Sumdac… is an _eccentric_ company, at best. At worst, well... You know the history of what Detroit has been through, don’t you?”

“The basics, yeah. It’s had a rough time with the economy over the years.”

“Right.” She sighed. “And while Sumdac has done its’ part ensuring people had jobs, and money to feed into said economy… be careful, won’t you? This could make or break your career as you know it.”

You nodded.  _ In more ways than one, I’m sure. _

The discussion with the principal was… about as awkward as you expected. He was dismayed at your sudden request to resign, and shot question after question about the job your way, wanting to know where the school had “gone wrong”. But just like Ms. Harrington, he too went quiet at the name of Sumdac Systems.

“Fine. Two weeks,” was all he said at that.

Relieved and a bit guilty, you made your excuses and got out of there.

It wasn’t long after that you were headed to the parking lot outside. As you stepped outside, you glanced at your phone to see if any messages had popped up during the day. Sure enough, you had several from Sari in all caps, excited that this was Happening.

_ Glad one of us is excited. _

“Gosh, I don’t even get a hello?”

You blinked, and looked up from your phone to see a large, yellow-and-black face only a few feet away from your own.

Yelping, you fell back flat on your ass.

Bumblebee snickered. “Jumpy. See, that’s the sort of reaction I expected from you the  _ first  _ time we met, not the second.” 

You felt your face getting warm. Getting to your feet, you checked your phone to make sure it hadn’t been damaged. “Sorry, was lost in thought. I wasn’t expecting you to already be out here waiting for me.”

“Yeah, well, Sari’s orders. Gotta make sure you don’t change your mind on us. You ready to go?”

You looked over yourself, and held up your bag for him to see. Smiling, you said, “Yep. I’m not even forgetting anything this time.”

He grinned. “Cool. Off we go, then.”

He transformed, leaving you to pick your jaw off of the ground because that was still just  _ insane  _ that he could do that. When the driver’s seat door swung open, you took an extra beat before climbing in.

This time, he let you buckle your own seatbelt and took his time cruising out of the parking lot. “Next stop, Sumdac Systems!”

You leaned back in the seat. Out of habit, you were lightly holding onto the steering wheel, but you were proud of yourself for not holding it in a death grip this time. “Thanks for taking me. I could have gone myself, you know.”

“Nah. Parking is a real pain in the aft if you don’t have an employee badge, Sari says, so might as well just let your new buddy Bumblebee take you there.”

You blinked. “A pain in the what?”

Bumblebee let out what suspiciously sounded like a giggle. “Aft. Y’know. Rear carriage?”

“Oh. Is that--is that how you swear in your language?" You started to smile. "You call it an aft?”

“What would  _ you  _ call it?”

You contemplated that. “We got all sorts of names for it. I guess you’d most often hear it as ‘butt’.”

He made an impatient sound. “No, no! I wanna know how  _ you  _ would say it!”

You paused. “A pain in the ass. But you really shouldn’t use that around Sari, okay?”

He let out that giggle again. “Ass. What a silly word. I thought that was a word for an animal?”

“It is. But it’s also for--”

“Butt?” he supplied.

You shook your head, trying to look stern. “If you think you’re going to rope me into teaching you Earth swears, Bumblebee--”

“Then I’d say I’m well on my way! Ass!  _ Hah _ ! I’m gonna try and use that next time. Say, what do you guys say for ‘slag’?”

So the conversation went, with Bumblebee trying to ply curses out of you as he drove down the street. Once or twice, he swerved or stopped suddenly, and at first you were worried traffic was just that bad. But then, you began to suspect he was just trying to startle something out of you.

Wise to his game, you decided to say, “Sugar honey iced tea!” the second time it happened.

He paused. “Did you just… use a drink as a swear word?”

“Yep.” You mustered up all of our innocence. “It’s one people use all the time.”

You had the feeling that, if he were currently able to, the ‘bot would be squinting at you skeptically.

“What? It  _ is _ !”

“You aren’t pullin’ a fast one on me, are ya ‘Teach?”

“The only person ‘pulling a fast one’ is you and those tight corners,” you retorted.

“Heh, you got me. By the way, we’re here!” 

He came to a smooth stop in front of the front doors to the Sumdac Systems tower, the door swinging open.

You hesitated.

“C’mon, what’s up? Let’s go in and get you your job!”

“Right. Just. Give me a second.” You took in a breath. Then let it out.

After a moment, you slipped out. As soon as you were standing, he transformed back into his humanoid form.

You peered up at him. “Is it weird if I ask you which form is your ‘original’ one?”

He blinked. “Which form? Whaddaya mean? Obviously my--” He stopped. Then he adopted an innocent expression that reminded you far too much of just a few minutes prior. “Ohhh, you mean the form I was constructed in! Right, that’s obviously the vehicle. This is my secondary form.”

You raised an eyebrow at him.

“It is!” he insisted.

“So if I ask Sari, she’ll say the same thing?”

“Suuuure.”

You gave in to your earlier smile.

He gestured toward the door. “After you.”

“ _ Aft _ -er?” you inquired.

His optics went wide, looking delighted and scandalized at the same time. “Don’t go saying rude stuff! This is a professional place, jeez.”

You laughed, but headed inside.

To your surprise, the front doors were tall enough that Bumblebee could amble right along after you, though he did have to duck. The entranceway was huge, with glass windows that went from floor to ceiling. It was beautiful, though also intimidating. The reception desk was massive, manned by two robots and a human woman.

The woman looked up at you as you approached. As soon as you were in earshot, she rattled your full name off perfectly. “That’s you, isn’t it?”

Caught off-guard, you nodded. “Yeah, uh, I’m here for--”

“I know why you’re here.” She reached into a cabinet and pulled out a file, which she then slapped on the desk between the two of you as though it offended her. “Sign on the dotted line and take the ID badge with you when you go.”

You glanced at Bumblebee. He gave you a thumbs up.

You looked back at the woman. “Just like that?”

“Look, Sumdac doesn’t have all day to sit around twiddling their thumbs. You working here or not?”

Well, that was… not exactly what you were anticipating.

You obediently opened the file, and scanned over the contract. Your eyes got big at the number listed for your salary. It was easily double what you would have been getting had you stayed at your school!

As for the conditions, there were a couple that made your eyebrows go up. Non-disclosure agreements about Sumdac, of course, but also about any and all “entities” you might “encounter” or “interact with”. Quitting was apparently something that could happen immediately--a fact that comforted you. 

You heard something _thunk_ing behind you.

Glancing back, you saw Bumblebee watching you, arms crossed and his foot tapping. Oh, that’s why it sounded like a loud thunk.

Was he supposed to wait until you were done? 

“You can go if you want,” you told him. “I can take public transport back to my car.”

“Sari’d never let me hear the end of it. Besides, she’s supposed to meet us here soon! We’re going to get takeout,” he informed you.

You blinked. “You can eat takeout?”

“Not  _ human  _ takeout.” He made a face. “But you and Sari can. I think she’s calling it a ‘girls’ night’?” He moved his fingers to make quotation marks at that. “Though that doesn’t make much sense since I’m a guy.”

“Well, that’s all news to me.” You glanced back at the contract, then at the woman behind the counter. “Are you sure this is all accurate?”

“We hire people regularly enough to know what we’re doing,” she said, nose in the air.

You sighed, then reached into your bag for a pen.  _ What the hell, let’s officially become a robot teacher. _

You signed and dated the forms where necessary, and picked up the lanyard from the file, draping it around your neck. The moment you stepped away from the file, the woman snatched it and popped it into a scanner nearby.

“That’s all you need to do. Welcome to the team,” she said.

“ _ Yesss _ . Come on, let’s go find Sari!” Bumblebee took off for the stairs.

You glanced at the woman, who was now watching Bumblebee rush off with a rueful expression on her face. 

“You know him well?” you ventured.

“He dents everything he touches when he comes here. But he makes Miss Sumdac so happy, how can we complain?” She glanced at you. “We almost never see her, you know? She’s like a company secret, almost. But between you and me, well…” She shook her head. “That’s no way to raise a kid.”

You watched as he turned, seeming to realize you weren’t following, and began to jump up and down, waving at you. 

“C’mon, ‘Teach, we got places to be!”

His feet were leaving large indents in the ground where he jumped.

You winced. “Thank you for your help,” you told the woman, and picked up a light jog to make it over to Bumblebee.

He stopped bouncing in place as soon as you were close. “I know she’s on one of these floors, but I can never remember which,” he said. “But you can read the directory, right?”

“Why don’t you just call her and have her come down to meet you?”

“Because I wanna  _ surprise  _ her, of course!” he huffed, hands on his hips.

You glanced over at the directory. “Where’s she going to be at this hour?”

“Probably wrapping up with her tutor. They’re up way up in the higher levels.”

You ran your finger over the directory. “Probably in one of these conference room levels, then, if she’s meeting someone. You sure you want to go looking for her?”

“Slag yeah!”

You told him the lowest conference room floor number, and he brightened. “Let’s go!” He began to take the stairs up.

Quirking an eyebrow, you said, “Uhhh, can I just meet you there? I think I’m gonna take the elevator. That’s… quite a lot of steps for one human to take.”

Something about your request seemed to put him off, as his optics flickered and his expression fell. But he quickly recovered. “Sure, it’s a race! See ya up there!” With that, he took off.

You, meanwhile, made for the elevators and pressed the up button.

It wasn’t entirely surprising when the elevator door opened and Sari herself emerged.

She blinked up at you, then let out a loud squeal of excitement. Shouting your name, she launched herself at you in a hug.

You caught her, of course, but she was much heavier than you were expecting. Letting out an, “oof!” of surprise, you backed up a couple steps. “Whoa, hi!”

“I’m so glad you came!” Her eyes dropped to your lanyard, and she brightened even further. “You signed it! Wow, you’re really going to help us? Thank you! I bet the guys are going to be so excited!” She paused, pulling back a bit. “Wait. Didn’t you come here with Bumblebee? Where is he?”

“He actually went up the stairs to find you. I was going to follow in the elevator. In fact… I think it was supposed to be a race.”

Her jaw dropped. “A race? And you didn’t tell me? This is serious!” She turned, and you saw her grab the chain around her neck.

You hadn’t paid much attention to the little doohickey that was attached to the chain before, figuring it was something from a TV show she liked. But as she strode back to the elevator panel with purpose, you saw the thing begin to glow.

“Uh, Sari? What are you--”

“Shhh, I’m doing science. Hang on.” 

With that, she flipped open a compartment on the panel you hadn’t noticed before, and plugged the key into it.

The elevator, which had gone up to the 11th floor as you’d talked to her, suddenly dropped like a stone back to the first floor. The doors flew open, and Sari yanked you inside.

You had a feeling this was not going to turn out well.

“Hold on!” She jammed the button for her floor, and the doors slammed shut.

“Oh god,” you said weakly, and grabbed for one of the accessible rails.

You were glad you did, because in the next second you were experiencing a very intense version of Tower of Terror. One where you dropped to your knees from the force of it. How Sari stayed on her feet was beyond you.

More than that, she was whooping excitedly. You, meanwhile, were screaming and clutching onto the rail for dear life.

It lasted an eternity.

It lasted five seconds.

The elevator came to an abrupt stop, and if you hadn’t been clinging to the rail you probably would have gone flying. As it was, your butt left the floor, and you let out another shriek.

The doors slid open calmly, and all was still.

Sari, unperturbed, rushed out into the lobby. You struggled to get back to your feet, failed, and opted to stay where you were for another minute.

You heard thunking coming from the stairwell, and a second later, Bumblebee was peering around at the elevator.

His expression dropped. 

“Whaaat? How on earth did you beat me?! I coulda sworn that elevator was super slow!”

You stared at him.

He gave a little shrug, and turned. He brightened. “Sari! Hey!”

“Hey!” She ran up to him for a hug, just like she had with you.

Bumblebee ducked down on one knee so she could wrap her whole self, it seemed, around his neck. Then, he blinked in realization, and turned to shoot you a playfully accusing look.

“Waaaaait a second, you didn’t use Sari’s key to beat me up here, did you? That’s cheating!”

You blinked. “Key?” you echoed helplessly.

“He means this,” Sari said, holding it up. “And yeah, we did, but it was only ‘cuz all’s fair in love, war, and races.”

“Ohhh  _ really _ ? I’ll remember that for next time we face off,” Bumblebee teased her.

“I feel like…” You swallowed. “I feel like I’m missing something here.” You eased yourself up off of the elevator floor, then darted out onto the relative safety of the lobby outside. Something told you that you’d avoid elevators for a while.

“It didn’t come up ‘cuz it didn’t have to before,” Sari said. “But you’re cleared for security, so now I can show you this.” 

She continued to hold out the doohickey. You walked up to her, then reached out to take it into your own hand. It was no longer glowing, and felt cold to the touch.

“So this is… your elevator bypass key?”

That made them both laugh.

“No, no, it’s my  _ key _ ! I can use it on a lot of things. Including these guys,” she said, nudging Bumblebee.

“She’s like a backup medic for our group,” Bumblebee explained. “That key has saved a couple ‘bot’s lives already.” 

That made no sense, but you nodded as if it did.

“Anyway.” Sari clapped her hands. “So! Girls’ night. We got to get to know each other better. And I can tell you more about the ‘bots.”

You raised an eyebrow. “How is it a girls’ night if Bumblebee is coming along?”

“He gets to learn about Earth stuff and report it back to Bulkhead. Those two always have the most questions anyway,” Sari said, with a roll of her eyes. “C’mon, let’s go in and get comfy. Bee, did you order takeout for us?”

“No, y’want me to just go and grab it for ya?”

Sari grinned. “I’ll time you.”

Bumblebee brightened, and you heard an engine rev from somewhere in him.

Sari pulled out her phone. “Ready…. GO!”

Bumblebee was gone down the steps.

You shook your head. “Man, he sure has a lot of energy.”

“Isn’t he great?” Sari gestured imperatively toward the stairs. “Follow me. Let’s chat until he gets back.”


	4. Girls' Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get to know Sari and 'Bee a bit better.

You followed Sari up a couple more flights of stairs, then down a long hall. You realized you were in the living quarters. The conference rooms were all out nearest the elevators, but just beyond those were quiet, small hallways with little hints of everyday life on the walls. Finger paintings. Photos. Which was a good thing, since at some of the doors Sari had to stop to punch in a code. Every time, you politely stared at the nearest wall decoration until she gave the okay to go through.

At first, you thought you might be headed to a living room, or perhaps the kitchen. So when you rounded a corner and stood in the doorway of what was clearly Sari’s room, you almost balked.

She marched right in. “Welcome to mi casa,” she said cheerfully. “C’mon in!”

Folding your arms over your chest, you glanced behind yourself. “Shouldn’t we talk to your dad or something first?”

Sari waved her hand dismissively. “Dad’ll be at work for a while yet. Don’t worry, I’ll introduce you some other time.”

Slowly, you eased into her room. You were pretty sure this one space was bigger than your entire apartment. The best feature was, by far, the massive windows on the far wall. You wondered what the view would be like, if the curtains weren’t blocking the view. There was also a massive television, with a couple game consoles on the ground in front of it. Her bed looked like it could fit ten people, easily. She flopped onto it, and patted the duvet cover imperiously.

“C’mon, get comfy. I wanna get to know all about you! You’ll be helping my guys, after all.”

“You seem really close to the Autobots,” you said. You made your way over and sat.

“Well, yeah! They’re my friends, like I said. They’re sweet, and smart, and funny, and totally superheroes.” She nodded sagely at that.

You tilted your head in thought. “Now that I think about it, I _ do _remember hearing back home about how a crazy number of bad guys were popping up in Detroit, and then getting arrested soon after appearing…”

“Yeah, it’s thanks to them! And me, of course. I’m part of their team.” She lifted her chin with pride.

“How’d you meet them in the first place?”

That explanation had her talking right up until Bumblebee skidded into her room. You winced at the black marks on the carpet as he came to a stop directly in front of her bed. In his hands, he held two large pizza boxes.

Sari hit her timer. “Ten minutes and thirty-eight seconds,” she reported.

“Ugh!” He set them down. “It’s ‘cuz of that red light. Otherwise I totally would have beat my record!”

“Ten minutes for pizza? That’s amazing,” you said. “I’m always impressed if it comes in under an hour.”

Bumblebee scuffed his foot on the ground, looking a little sheepish at that. “Yeah, well, you should see how fast I go when I’m already on the ground floor.”

“I have,” you reminded him.

“Anyway, Sari, what sorta Earth stuff are we going to do?” he asked, turning his attention on her.

Sari tapped her chin in thought. “Well, it’s going to be kinda like that slumber party we tried to have.”

You sensed a story there.

“...Only it’ll be girlier,” Sari continued. “Nail painting! Talking about hair! Video games!”

Bumblebee perked up. “I didn’t know video games were girly,” he said, and his tone was completely sincere.

Sari buffed her nails on the front of her own dress. “That’s why you have a local expert, like me.”

“And like ‘Teach!” He sat on the ground, and only then did you feel like you _ might _ be able to match him in height. If you wore platform shoes. And balanced on your tippy toes. “I’m gonna play while you guys do your refueling thing.”

Sari hummed agreement and popped open the first pizza box. “You’re the best, ‘Bee.”

“No, you are,” he shot back.

The two of them argued good-naturedly while you helped yourself to a slice. After the afternoon you had--were having--you figured you more than deserved some free pizza. It was plenty hot when you bit into it, and you let out a happy sigh.

At first, Sari seemed content to chat with Bumblebee about their respective days while you watched them in silence. The two played off of each other like long-lost siblings, rather than alien and human. While occasionally one of them said something that temporarily stumped the other, they took it at face value and explained things… usually with giggles.

“Hey, you’re awful quiet,” Sari said, as you downed your second slice.

You wished you had a napkin for your hands. “Didn’t mean to be. I was just watching you guys interact, is all.”

“You pullin’ some psychological stuff on us? Thought you were a teacher, not a doctor,” Bumblebee said. He had since stretched out on his side, lounging as he played a game on a console you didn’t recognize. 

“No. Well, a bit. I have so many questions and I don’t know where to start.”

“Well, wash your hands and we can do questions and nails!” Sari said, holding up her own fingers and wiggling them meaningfully.

You sighed. “All right, where’s the bathroom?”

When hands were washed (including, curiously, Bumblebee’s) you sat down for the next stage of the girls’ night.

Memories of your own childhood flashed through your mind as Sari picked out a different color for every finger she had. You obediently set each color aside. As Bumblebee offered suggestions, she also began to demand patterns and colors to paint in layers. You played along, doing your best to fulfill her wishes.

You were helping Sari paint a star onto her finger when the door opened a crack. “Sari, my dear, are you in here?” called a man’s voice.

You froze. 

Bumblebee, for his part, turned into his car form.

Sari looked unconcerned as she turned her head to the door. “Yeah, dad,” she called. “I have a couple friends over.”

“I see,” he said, with the tone of a parent who didn’t believe what their child was saying. “I won’t interrupt you, then, but don’t stay up too late. You should keep a regular schedule!”

She rolled her eyes. “_ Yes _, dad.”

The door closed, and the voice went away.

“Your father?” you asked, your voice low.

“Yep! Don’t worry, he’s nice.” She looked critically at her finger. “Hmm. Better just paint all over this, you got it wobbly.”

“My bad.” You shook yourself, and glanced at Bumblebee. “Uh. You going to stay like that for a while?”

“Is the coast clear?” he asked in response.

“It’s fine, worry-bot,” Sari told him.

He changed back. “Phew! Not sure how your dad would feel about us in your room.”

“Why?”

You realized Bumblebee was glancing at you, expecting you to pick up the conversation. Huh. That was a pleasant surprise. “It’s because we’re adults, and you’re a super smart kid, but still, this isn’t a usual sort of hangout.” You paused, glancing at Bumblebee. “You _ are _ an adult, right? Given you drive and everything.”

Bumblebee blinked, then scrunched his face up. “Pffft-!” Then, he started laughing. “_ That’s _ what makes you think I’m a grown-up?”

Sari joined him, giggling up a storm. “Never mind that he’s a scout for a team of robots, or that he’s more or less my guardian as well as my friend!”

“Hey! How was I supposed to know?” you said defensively. “I only just met you the other day, and you guys are on the same wavelength. I wouldn’t have been surprised if you said you were a kid.”

“Nah, just young at spark.” He calmed down, but he was still grinning and shaking his head. “Heh. Driving. Man, you’re something.”

That caught your attention. “Spark? Are they your… hearts, then?”

“I think it’s more like a soul, for them,” Sari said. “But the heart thing kinda tracks. Bumblebee and the others sometimes talk about their sparks bursting when they’re happy or going still when they’re scared.”

You glanced over at Bumblebee, who was nodding in agreement. “Sparks make us, us. So, like, you should probably talk to Ratchet about this stuff, but basically once you get a spark in a protoform you end up with a ‘bot, fresh off the assembly line.” He made a big gesture with his hands. “And boom! You got one of us.” 

Huh.

...There was a lot to unpack there. Had Bumblebee just more or less given you The Talk about robots?

_ Though in that case, is the assembly line thing literal, or a euphemism? _

“Anyway.” Sari said your name, grabbing your attention. “Gimme your hands, it’s your turn.”

“Do I get a paint job too?” Bumblebee asked, holding up his own hands.

“I dunno if my nail polish will stick on you, but... You’re offering? Seriously?” Sari asked, brightening.

“Well, sure, you said I was supposed to participate too. And it’s more interesting than just playing video games by myself.”

“And nail polish absolutely works for cars,” you cut in. “You can put all sorts of designs on them… or it can work as a quick fix if there’s a scratch or something.”

“Ohh! Then let’s get started!” Sari giggled. “This is gonna be awesome.”

And so you found yourself roped into putting nail polish on a giant robot, who patiently held out his hands for you to handle. You were tempted to hold your hand up to his to compare, but resisted the urge. Whatever was going on here, you didn’t know him that well.

Instead, you did your best to restrain your curiosity and limited contact while you painted the tips of his fingers. He squirmed and pouted when told that he had to wait to make sure the polish dried, but otherwise chatted away with you both.

Only when his fingers were done did you look at the clock. “Oh, jeez. I gotta get going,” you said with a groan, getting to your feet. “I still gotta get my car, and the bus is only running for another hour.”

“A bus? Excuse me, I’m right here?” Bumblebee said, sounding offended.

You held up your hands. “I wasn’t going to make you drive me again,” you said.

Sari and Bumblebee shared a look.

Then, Sari yawned. “Well, maybe it’s for the best you two head out. Good girl night. Let’s do it again soon, okay? When are you starting with the ‘bots?”

“Well, I put in my two weeks’ notice, but I could start swinging by here in the afternoons after work for an hour or two.”

“Here’s no good, they wanna meet you in a ‘neutral location’.” She made air quotes with her fingers at that. “‘Bee can pick you up after work like he’s been doing. He already volunteered.”

You glanced over at the ‘bot in surprise. “You did? You don’t have to do that.”

“_ Pssh _.” He made a hissing sound, and you wondered for a moment if you’d made him angry. However, before you could apologize, you realized he was sheepishly glancing away from you. “It’s not a big deal. I know where you work so it’s easy. Anyway, we ought to get going! See ya tomorrow, Sari?”

“Yeah! We can all hang out with the others! I can’t wait!”

You’d almost forgotten, but when you made it out to the lobby with Bumblebee, the sight of the elevators made your heart quail. You swallowed audibly, your hands clenching at your sides.

“You wanna just take the stairs? We don’t have to race this time,” Bumblebee offered.

“We’re like, what, twenty stories up? That’s a lot for a human.”

He hummed in thought. Then, “Why don’t I give you that ride startin’ now, then?”

He held out a huge hand to you.

You stared at it, then up at him. “You sure that’s okay?”

He grinned. “Sure I am! Besides, Sari said somethin’ about teachers having to stand up all day anyway. Bet your pedes are tired.”

That was true, you had to admit to yourself. And while your pride wanted you to insist on taking the stairs yourself, you couldn’t say no to that face.

“Thank you,” you told him. “If you’re willing, then--whoa!”

The moment you’d thanked him, he’d brightened, and reached for you. His hands closed around your middle with surprising gentleness, and the next thing you knew, you were being carried--mostly in his hands, but also his arms--as he began the trek down the stairs.

You scrambled for something to hold onto, and reached for his thumb. Having something to grip made you feel a bit more secure. You were surprised; some part of you had expected him to be all hard, cold metal, but the metal was warm under your hand, as though it had been in the sun all day. And there was a bit of give to it, too. You gave it an experimental squeeze, fascinated.

He chuckled. “You could do what Sari does and hold onto my neck, if ya want.”

Something about being carried bridal-style made you blush. “I think I’m okay, but thank you.”

“Hey, I’m nothing if not generous!”

_ And full of yourself, _ you thought, but not without a wry little smile tugging at the corner of your lips. There was certainly an endearing quality to Bumblebee’s pride, something that made his declarations amusing rather than irritating.

Before you knew it, you were on the first floor, and Bumblebee was setting you on the ground just outside the front doors. With a wink, he wordlessly turned into his car form, and you climbed in.

“You like music?” he asked, and when you nodded, he turned on a radio you didn’t realize before that he had. And began to blast what sounded like rave music. 

You settled into your spot, hands on the steering wheel, and watched as he headed off. It was night, and the parking lot that had previously been crowded was nearly empty.

“So I was thinkin’,” Bumblebee said, raising his voice to be heard over his own music.

“What?” you called back.

“So, like, you’re way more relaxed than even when I picked you up this afternoon.”

“I guess I am.” You leaned back in the seat and watched the city go by. “Maybe I’m just getting used to the idea. It all still seems totally nuts, but in a good way. It’s like… a dream.”

His music turned down, and you wondered if it was sohe could hear you speak. “A good one though, right?”

“Yeah.” You smiled. “You seem really nice, and I think that helps a lot.”

“_ Pssh _.” There came that sound again. “Well, you seem nice, too. Which is why this is even happening. You have no idea how many teachers Sari tried to sweet-talk into this before we got to you.”

“...How many?”

“More than you’d think. I mean, we’re awesome! And we keep Detroit safe from all sorts of baddies. You’d think people would leap at the chance to lend us a hand.” He scoffed.

You hummed in agreement. “They’re missing out. This is a pretty unique chance for all of us. I just hope I can teach whatever it is you guys need.”

“Aw, you’ll be fine.”

The conversation died off, and you went back to listening to whatever music Bumblebee put on. Most of it struck you as music you’d dance to in a club. Once or twice you began bobbing your head to a song you knew and liked, and as though encouraged by that, Bumblebee would increase the volume of the song.

It wasn’t long before you rolled into the school parking lot, with your car lying in wait. You slipped out, making sure you had everything. Bumblebee turned back into his humanoid form as you unlocked the car to your own door.

“Thanks again,” you said, for lack of anything better to say.

“You’re always thanking me. Don’t sweat it!” He flapped a hand in dismissal. “After all, you’ll be doin’ us a big favor or three.” He paused. “Uh. No pressure.”

You let out a giggle. “Right. Drive safe, Bumblebee.”

“Right back atcha.” 

To your surprise, he didn’t drive off right away. Instead, he put his hands on his hips and watched you as you slid into your car and put on your seatbelt.

Curious, you rolled down your window. “You, uh, going to hang out here?” 

“What? No! I just--never mind. Just get going! It’s late!”

You smiled. “Okay. Later.”

With that, you took off for home. You could see Bumblebee in your rear-view mirror for quite a while.

It was only when he faded entirely out of view that your smile slipped.

You had to deal with work, and now this new job. Where did you even begin, working with a bunch of robots?

_ Guess I’ll find out. _


	5. Apple of My Eye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get a gift... and then left to your own devices.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the kudos and comments. I'm so glad people seem to be having fun with this adventure! <3

The next day at five-fifteen p.m., you were sitting in the driver’s seat in Bumblebee’s compact car mode, on your way to meet the other ‘bots for a second time.

“You’re fidgety,” he observed.

“I’m nervous,” you shot back.

“Easy, ‘Teach, I told ‘em everything they had to do to be ready for you. It’ll be smooth sailing!”

_ Everything had to be ready? _

“What are you talking about?” you asked warily.

“You’ll see!”

That didn’t make you feel any better.

You went over your plan in your head--a group meeting, to start, followed by individual meetings with each ‘bot over what they wanted to learn. You were going to propose that you have mostly private lessons with each one on their topic of choice, rather than trying to corral all of them together. Especially since, from the little you’ve gleaned thus far, they all seemed so different from each other.

The drive felt like it took forever, but it was also over way before you were ready for it to be. To your surprise, you weren’t back at that drive-in movie theater. Instead, you were pulling up to what looked like an abandoned warehouse, tucked under a bypass.

Bumblebee rolled right up to the doors and inside. You stared out the windows, clasping your hands in your lap as you tried to take one or two more calming breaths.

_ You can do this. They’re nice. They’re just bigger than your average house when they stand upright, but it’s fine. You’re fine. _

_ They totally won’t squish you like a bug if they don’t like how you teach. _

_ Maybe. _

“Guys, look who I brought!” Bumblebee called.

Rather than the door popping open this time, you felt the car around you wobble. Then, between one blink and the next, you found yourself going from sitting on a seat to being held in the robot’s arms. Before you even had a chance to do more than yelp in surprise, you were being placed gently on the ground, with your stuff set next to you.

You turned to stare up at Bumblebee with wide eyes. 

He winked.

“Did you just--?”

“Oh, hey!” you heard from behind you, and turned to see the largest of the group making his way into this greeting area. “It’s that teacher lady!”

“I believe Sari said she was a teaching  _ aide _ , not a teacher,” a second voice said. 

“Hi, teacher-lady!” the larger of the two said, grinning at you.

You offered a smile. “You can call me by my name if you want. Your friend--Prowl?--is right, I’m not a licensed teacher yet.”

“You don’t need a license to teach someone something,” the larger one said.  _ Bulkhead _ , you remembered his name was.

“True,” you agreed. “Nice to see you again, Bulkhead.”

He brightened. “She remembers me!”

A third figure--Optimus Prime--poked his head into the room. “Oh, I see you made it. Any trouble on the way here?” 

“Not at all. Bumblebee was kind enough to pick me up.” You offered what you hoped was a confident smile. “Hello, Optimus Prime.”

“Just Optimus is fine.” He walked over, and you were once again struck by how  _ huge _ they all were. Bumblebee, your brain could almost pass off as “just” a gigantic person. But the rest of them?

“--started?” 

You just realized that Optimus had asked you a question. “Sorry, what was that?”

He offered you a patient look. “I said, should we get started? Sari said something about you only being able to stick around for an hour or so.”

“Oh! Yes. Sari mentioned you have a television. Mind if I use it while we do this?”

Bumblebee brightened. “Aww yes, we’re going to watch TV? Earth teaching is the best thing ever!”

“What is the television necessary for?” Optimus asked.

You pulled your laptop out of your bag. “I have an HDMI cable. I figured looking at a big screen would be better for you guys than looking at this little thing. I want to test a couple things.” Bumblebee groaned, his earlier enthusiasm gone, and you chuckled. “It won’t be difficult, I promise! I just want to get a feel for what you guys  _ want _ and what you guys  _ need _ from me.”

“I see,” Optimus began. “Well, then--”

Before he could finish his sentence, Bulkhead slammed his hands together, creating a gust of wind that sent your hair flying in all directions.

“Oh! Teacher-lady, I almost forgot. Hang on.” He lumbed off, the ground shaking as he hurried into another room.

You raised an eyebrow at Prowl, who merely shrugged in disinterest and turned to wander off himself.

“What’s he up to?” you asked Optimus.

“Who, Bulkhead or the No-Fun Police?” Bumblebee asked. You glanced up to see he was watching Prowl leave with an annoyed look on his face.

_ Hm. Something tells me I’m doing the right thing opting to work with them individually. _

“I was asking about Bulkhead,” you said, deciding not to touch that for now.

“Oh, that. Don’t worry about it. Let’s get you hooked up to the television. It’s a sweet setup!” 

You were led into a large space that had been partially transformed into an entertainment room. The TV was, as promised, massive. You wondered how much it had cost. Not to mention the surround-sound speakers, and the couch. The couch was bigger than some apartments in New York, you were sure. 

And, you were pretty sure, made of concrete.

You made your way over to the television and went to work seeking out the HDMI cable. As you did, you inwardly thanked yourself for thinking ahead and bringing a long extension cable to help with this--otherwise, your laptop would have been dangling three feet from the floor. You loaded up your materials, and turned to ask one of them to join you--

\--when Bulkhead lumbered back in, a giant crate under each of his arms. 

He made his way right up to you, and set them down. He was gentle enough that nothing broke, but you still flinched at the thudding noise it made.

“Apples for the teacher!” he said, beaming.

You stared up at him, then cautiously moved to one of the crates. You lifted the top of the first one and... Yep. Apples.

Literally two little mountains’ worth.

“Oh, wow. This is really sweet, Bulkhead, thank you,” you said. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“Yeah, well, we heard that apples are the traditional gift for teachers on this planet,” Bulkhead said. “We wanted to make you feel welcome.”

“You can go ahead and snack all you like!” Bumblebee added.

Both of them were watching you expectantly.

Feeling as though you were somehow being peer pressured, you took the topmost apple and bit into it. It was fresh, and the resulting crunch rang through the room. You swallowed, then grinned at them. “They’re perfect. Thank you. While I eat this, I want to talk with you guys one at a time, okay?”

“Oh, we can wait until you’re done with your refueling,” Bumblebee said.

You felt your grin slip a bit.  _ Oh, I see. Suck up to me so you don’t have to do any actual work. Clever. _

You couldn’t help but feel a rush of amusement. Surely all of these guys had gone through some form of education on their home planet. Which meant some things were universal.

_ I got you pinned, Bumblebee. _

Innocently, you said, “Optimus, would you object to me making Bumblebee go first?”

“Not at all,” Optimus answered with a smirk. Bumblebee let out a dramatic groan in the background. Optimus ignored it. “What does he need to do?”

“I just need to show a couple things on the screen. If you don’t understand something, I can read it aloud and check your comprehension that way. Should take maybe ten minutes per Autobot.” You paused. “Is the other guy--Ratchet? Is that his name? Is he joining us?”

“He’s workin’ on something right now,” Bulkhead said. “He’ll probably meet you another day.”

“Oh.” You nodded. “All right. I’ll start with you guys, then. Bumblebee, pop a squat.”

He blinked at you quizzically. “Pop a  _ what _ ?”

_ Guess that slang doesn’t translate…  _ “Uh, I mean, have a seat. This won’t take long. It’ll probably even be painless. I think.” You smirked.

A smile tugged at the corner of his lips at that, but he still made a big show of sighing and flopping across the couch. “Fiiiiinnnne.”

You went through your questions. The first few were based on phonics, since that was what Sari had brought up for all of them. Bumblebee was disinterested at best, though he at least could be cajoled into answering those. He didn’t perk up, however, until you got past that part.

“Right. Okay. Bumblebee, this is your chance to tell me what you want. You said you want to learn about things like comic books and anime conventions, right? Are you interested in the culture? Or in participating in it?”

“Um, participating, obviously! There’s so much cool stuff out there we haven’t had a chance to see yet!” He flung his arms up over his head. “Costumes! Music! Dance parties! Meeting famous people and getting their autograph! Not to mention binge-watching the best series the world has to offer!”

You made a note of that. “Anything else?”

He screwed up his face, as though thinking it over. “Uhhh… I guess.. Types of movies? Like, how they work? That might be cool.”

“He likes horror movies,” Optimus called over to you.

You blinked. “Really? Wouldn’t have pinned you as a horror fan.”

“And why not?” He dropped his hands, shooting you an offended look. “I’m totally brave! I can handle the scariest movies there are out there!” 

“I’m sure,” you assured him. “And we can definitely talk movies and stuff if that’s what you’re into. And hey, the phonics we looked at before will be super helpful for a lot of this.”

He looked doubtful at that.

“Anyway, you’re all set. Thanks for being a good sport.”

He blinked. “Wait, that’s it?” He sat up from where he’d been sprawled on the couch. “That was like, ten cycles, max! You didn’t even finish your first apple!”

“I did, too.” You had set the core on the ground next to yourself. It had been a nice snack, you had to admit. “And I promised you it wouldn’t hurt. This is just us getting to know each other. I’m betting it’s weird to let some random human into your… uh.. Meeting place like this.”

“It’s our base,” Optimus said.

You turned to stare up at him. “What? Sari made a big fuss about me meeting you somewhere more ‘neutral’!”

“It’s true, we planned that at first,” Optimus said. “But as an employee of Sumdac Systems, and given how close Sari already feels drawn to you, well… we figured we’d give you a chance. Besides, we don’t want Sari coming and looking for us all over town.”

You hummed. “Fair enough.”

Something touched the top of your head. You reached up, and realized that Bumblebee had perched another apple there. You pulled it down as he grinned at you.

“So do I pass?” he asked.

“With flying colors.” You set the apple in your lap. “Thanks, can I borrow Bulkhead next?”

Bulkhead, unlike Bumblebee, was a very willing participant, asking questions as much as you did. He seemed fascinated by anything and everything to do with art, including music. You glanced between him and Bumblebee, who was lounging nearby fiddling with some sort of giant tablet. Judging from the sounds coming from it, it was a… game of some sort?

Whatever the case, the two of them seemed to get along, and if they were both keen on music, maybe you could do something with that.

“Teacher-lady, why is it that apples are a classic gift for teachers, anyway?” Bulkhead asked toward the end of his interview.

You smiled up at him. “It used to be the traditional payment. Food instead of money, since teaching is considered a calling. These days, though, while apples are a great treat, we do prefer cash so we can get other food. Like pizza.”

“Hey, I hear that, you gotta change it up with your energon now and again.”

“Energon? Is that your food?”

Bulkhead nodded enthusiastically. “That’s what we’d have back home, though here we stick to oil and the like.” He leaned back. “Oil works, ‘cuz we usually have energon in liquid form anyhow. Easiest to refuel that way. But sometimes mixing it up is a nice change of pace.”

“Well, that’s something we should think about for all these apples, too.”

“How come? You don’t think you wanna eat ‘em all as is?”

You chuckled, fiddling with the apple you were holding. “As much as I love a fresh apple, this is just too many for one human to eat before they all go bad.”

“Oh.” Bulkhead seemed to deflate. “I’ll never get the hang of food for humans.”

“Well, this might be a good chance to do a couple things. Like cooking. You can make lots of cool food with just apples,” you said. “Like applesauce, that’s the easiest. Or pies, or... Well, if you search a listing for recipes I’m sure you’d find a lot.”

He raised a brow. “How will that help with it ‘going bad’?”

“You can freeze all that stuff, and save it for a later day. Or jar it. It’ll last months that way.”

Bulkhead glanced at Bumblebee. “I thought the plan was to give her apples every time.”

“We can still do that!”

You smirked. “I say this with all of the gratitude I can muster, but please do not do that. You don’t need to gift me anything. Anyway, Bulkhead, that’s all I need from you. Optimus?”

Optimus looked up from what he was doing, and was about to respond when an alarm blared.

Immediately, the atmosphere in the room shifted.

“What is it?” Bumblebee demanded, getting to his feet.

“We gotta go. Now.”

The ‘bots who had disappeared earlier made a reappearance, their expressions grim.

“Sorry, we gotta move, we’ll catch up with you later. Autobots, roll out!”

That was when you got to see each one of them racing out the door… and leaving you in their semi-secret base. Alone. 

You stared at the empty, massive room. Then, for lack of anything else to do, you pulled out your phone.

**You** : Hey, Sari? I’m going to need a taxi or something. The ‘bots just left all of a sudden.

While you waited for a response, you decided to go ahead and eat that second apple anyway. Munching on it, you made your way to the couch. Climbing up made you realize it was indeed made of concrete. There was a rather large collection of pillows and a couple of blankets on the far end--possibly for if and when Sari popped over for visits.

You settled in there. The pillows helped with the comfort level immensely, and you stared at your phone as you waited for a response from Sari.

A few minutes passed. The place seemed huge without the presence of the Autobots. You wondered where they had gone so suddenly.

You finished your apple.

There didn’t seem to be a trash can anywhere nearby, so you figured you’d wander around and look for a kitchen. Or bathroom. Or something. Hopping off the couch, you went searching.

Most of the doors were closed, several locked, and you felt reluctant about touching those. You searched for an open door, a cabinet, anything.

Eventually, you gave up and made your way back to your bag. At least you had your lunchbox; you could stuff the cores into that and take care of them when you got home. 

Whenever that would be.

Checking your phone again, you still didn’t have an answer from Sari. Heaving a sigh, you went back to the pile of cushions and flopped there, curling up and getting comfortable. It wasn’t like you could call a taxi.

_ “Yeah hi, come pick me up at the Autobots’ secret base.” I’m sure that’d go over  _ super  _ well. _

And when google maps came up, you realized you were quite a ways away from any public transportation.

In other words, you were stuck.

Well. Could be worse. You had food. And somewhere to crash.

In a supposedly secret base.

Home to alien robots.

Which you were hired to teach the fucking  _ ABCs _ to.

It made your head hurt when you thought on that too long.

So instead, you pulled up some music and decided to get some reading done. 

The time slowly ticked by. Sari not only didn’t respond, but didn’t even leave you on read. You felt a stab of worry, both for her and for the Autobots. Searching for news on your phone didn’t get you much, because the local news sites were all apparently busy all of a sudden.

You had a feeling something pretty awful was going down.

An hour passed. Two. It was dark outside, and the interior of the base was, too, with the light from the television your main source of illumination. You put your phone in your pocket, curling around one of the cushions.

Three hours passed. You decided to close your eyes. Pacing wouldn’t do any good for whatever was happening, and as soon as someone came back, you could figure out what on earth was going on… and hopefully get a ride home.

Your eyes felt heavy. It was warm enough, and quiet, with the soft hum of electronics everywhere.

So quiet.


	6. The Art of the Assumption

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two separate talks and a misunderstanding equals applesauce. Somehow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy weekend! This one's a bit longer than the previous two chapters at over 5,000 words. I hope you all enjoy it!

“ _ Whew, _ that was a nasty one.” Bumblebee stretched his arms over his helm, letting out a pleased sigh. 

“Slaggin’  _ right _ it was nasty,” Ratchet grumbled. “Gonna be pounding out dents in all of us for a week.”

“Is everybody all right?” Optimus Prime asked.

Bumblebee glanced down at Sari, who had run up to stand by his left pede. She offered a thumbs up, and he felt a rush of relief.

One by one, the group spoke up, confirming their well-being. Optimus vented out some air.

“Right, we’re all accounted for, then. Sari, any news about human casualties from your father’s tower?”

Sari shook her head, her smile fading. “Not yet, but I guess we’ll see in the morning if anyone, uh, doesn’t show up.”

Optimus inclined his head. “You should probably go home. It’s quite late, if I’m not mistaken.”

Sari pulled out her phone and made a face. “Ugh, yeah, it’s almost two A.M. That was a long one.” She paused, glancing up. “Can’t say I’m tired, though. I’ll need an hour or two to wind down.”

“An hour or two? How about all night?” Bumblebee said, posing. “I still feel ready for anything!”

“You would,” Prowl muttered.

“Does anyone else feel like we’re forgetting something?” Bulkhead spoke up.

“If you’re talkin’ about a certain new teacher of yours, don’t worry about her,” Sari said offhandedly. “She’s at your base. Probably playing video games or something.”

“Oh. That’s good.”

There was a collective beat.

“The  _ teacher _ ?!”

Ohhh,  _ right _ . You had shown up that afternoon and given them what you had _called_ a test but honestly hadn’t felt like much of one. Bumblebee was used to tests involving things like countless transformations and having to count them aloud. Being thrown random equipment and being expected to know exactly what to do with it.

Ugh. He shoved those thoughts away. They didn’t matter, anyway; what mattered was it was time to celebrate! And hey, if you were at the base, that meant maybe you could join ‘em!

“Did we seriously leave a strange human alone in our private base and didn’t leave a single ‘bot behind to keep an eye on things?” Prowl said, sounding put-off. “What were we thinking?”

“Hey! She’s not that strange!” Sari said. “Your new teacher's got my seal of approval.”

“She seems nice enough,” Bulkhead added. 

Prowl’s expression didn’t change. “We should return. Get our dents tended to. And, if necessary, return this so-called  _ instructor _ to wherever she’s supposed to be.”

“Right.” Optimus caught their attention. “Sari, head home. We’ll see you tomorrow. Autobots, let’s roll out and get back to base.”

Without a word, everyone did as ordered. Sari waved, and ran off toward home. Bumblebee watched her go with a frown. He couldn’t help it. Sure, she could take care of herself, but well…

Maybe she wasn’t exactly a protoform, but still! He had to keep an eye out for his buddy!

It was only when she rounded the corner and was out of sight that Bumblebee took off after the rest of his group.

Getting home didn’t take too long, and the place looked more or less undisturbed since they’d left. Slag, the television was still on that last question that you’d been asking Bulkhead! Your laptop was still hooked up, too, and you…

You were curled up on the sofa, in Sari’s usual spot, wrapped around a pillow or two.

Bumblebee wasn’t ready for the way his spark reacted to the sight.

“Whoa.” He reached up to rest a hand over his chestplate, giving it a whack or two.

He wasn’t sure what had just happened, but you’d definitely gotten  _ some _ kind of reaction out of him. And you hadn’t even been awake for it!

“We should wake her and send her on her way,” Prowl said.

Optimus let out a faint chuckle. “On the contrary. It’s quite late. We can send her on her way after we’ve all woken from stasis.”

Ratchet rolled his optics. “Fine, but if the organic wakes up demanding food or some other human need,  _ you _ can take care of it. Bulkhead, I’m starting with you. Let’s go get you fixed up.”

“R-right.” Bulkhead was staring at you, as well, his servos clasped together.

Ratchet paused at the doorway. “You comin’ or what?”

“Oh! Sorry. It’s just, I’ve never really seen a human in stasis that wasn’t Sari. It’s really... Neat.”

“Neat,” Prowl echoed skeptically.

Bulkhead looked sheepish. “And the fact that someone trusts us enough to go into stasis in our base. That’s… neat, too, I think.”

Huh.

“Yeah, that  _ is _ kinda neat,” Bumblebee agreed. “All right. We’ll leave ‘er be. I’ll probably be the one driving in the morning, so I’mma go and try to recharge a bit.”

“I thought you were all revved up?” Prowl asked.

“I changed my mind, okay?”

Optimus held up his index finger to his lips, signaling silence with a meaningful flicker of the optics toward where you lay.

The bots proceeded to filter out. Bulkhead made an admirable attempt to tiptoe, that ended with him stumbling into the doorway rather than through it. Amazingly, you didn’t stir through the crash. Prowl, of course, slipped away as silent as ever. Optimus was somewhere in the middle, easing his way along while keeping an eye on you on the couch. Ratchet had already made it to medical bay.

Bumblebee put his hands on his hips and watched you a moment more.

He’d heard about humans snoring, or talking in their sleep, or drooling… all kinds of stuff. You didn’t seem to be doing any of that, at least for the moment. What you did do, however, was let out a quiet sigh and pull one of the cushions in closer to your chest, hugging it tight.

His spark did something funny again.

“How do you do that?” he asked you.

You didn’t respond.

He ex-vented, and walked up to turn off the television. Then, with a smirk at the couch, he too made his way to his berth for the night.

~*~

Ugh, why was your back in pain? Why did your hips hurt? Was this what getting old was supposed to be about?

_ I thought this crap didn’t happen until at least a decade from now, _ you groused to yourself as you woke. Your blanket must’ve fallen off in the middle of the night, because you felt rather chilled. 

Wait.

You blinked your eyes open.

This was  _ not _ home.

You held very still, listening to your surroundings.

You were on the giant couch belonging to the Autobots, and one of them--Prowl?--was sitting on the couch down the way from you, legs crossed under himself, staring at the television. Or, at least in that direction. Since he had sunglasses on, it was rather hard to tell what he was looking at.

_ Are those even sunglasses? Or are those his actual eyes? Is that a thing where they come from? _

“Good morning,” he said, making you jump. “I trust you recharged enough?”

“Uh. Good morning,” you said, sitting up. You winced as something twinged in your back. “Yeah, I did. Was everything okay last night?”

He didn’t move from where he was. “We’re all fine. Do you need transport to take you home?”

“What time is it?” You pulled out your phone to check. 

It was a little after six. You groaned. “Ugh, yeah, I do. I need to change and get ready for work.”

“Then we should be off.” Prowl got to his feet. “Come along.”

You obediently got to your feet as well, taking a moment to stretch. “Where are the others?”

“Still recharging. We had a late night.”

“I’m surprised you’re up, then.”

“Someone had to keep an eye on our guest.”

You felt your face grow warm. “Sorry for falling asleep. I wasn’t sure what to do, and Sari wasn’t answering her phone.”

“It’s of little concern. We’ll discuss what to do in the event something like this happens again.”

You nodded, and made sure you gathered everything up. No one had touched your bag or your laptop while you slept. After a moment’s consideration, you took several apples from the crate you’d opened the night before and stuffed them into your bag. Hey, they were yours, apparently, and you were sure Bulkhead would be pleased you’d taken more.

When you were ready, you followed Prowl out into the early morning sunshine.

Between one blink and the next, you were looking at his sleek motorcycle mode.

“Uh, shouldn’t I wear a helmet?” you asked, feeling a rush of uneasiness.

“I assure you, I drive much more safely than Bumblebee.”

“Oh, I’m not doubting your driving ability!” Maybe you were, a little. “I just... Don’t have much experience on motorcycles.”

“Then it is a good thing I am the driver.” 

You hesitated for a moment.

Then, you got on, because what else could you do?

He waited patiently enough as you got yourself situated, finding out where and how to store your bag. It was only when you had a good grip on the handlebars that he started off.

You let out a startled squeak.

“Relax. Lean forward. You can close your eyes if you want.”

Just for that, you decided that come hell or high water, you were absolutely not closing your eyes.

The streets were only just starting to pick up with traffic as you drove, so worries of being pulled over by a cop eased as you went on. True to his word, Prowl was a smooth driver, following the rules of the road perfectly. He didn’t even go so much as a single mile over the speed limit.

You began to relax.

“I understand you are going to be around more in about two weeks’ time,” Prowl said, as he turned a corner.

You leaned to help him make the turn a bit more smoothly. “Seems that way.”

“I hope you realize the situation you are in.”

“How so?”

He was silent for a moment.

“You are in a truly unique situation. One where you could learn quite a bit from us. I’m not so certain of the other way around.”

Ouch.

Well, he wasn’t wrong. You had just been starting your job as an aide, not an actual teacher. And a kid’s one at that, not someone trained to work with adults. Nevermind adult aliens.

“This is nothing personal, of course,” Prowl was saying. “After all, you are a professional, and I’m certain you will be able to provide more complete answers on subjects Sari cannot or will not touch.” He fell silent.

“But?” you pressed, almost despite yourself.

“But,” he said, “you are not a zoologist. Or an artist. Or a medical technician. So forgive me if I do not wish to refer to you as a ‘teacher’.”

You bit down the urge to retort. Instead, you took a breath and thought over it.

“I know I’m not a teacher, and I’m certainly not yours, or any of your friends’,” you said after a moment. “Whatever Bumblebee or Bulkhead decide to call me.” You shrugged, even though you weren’t sure if he could see that in his current form. “If you like, imagine me as a potential debate partner instead of a teacher. Or if you want more information on a certain topic, I can help point you in the right direction to find that information on your own. I just want to help. If I can do that, then you can call me whatever you want.”

He was quiet for a moment as you rounded a corner. Then, you heard, “Hm. For someone who gets along so well with Bumblebee, you have a level head on your shoulders.” He rolled to a stop, and you looked up.

You were right in front of your apartment.

“I’m afraid I can’t stick around,” Prowl continued as you climbed off. “I have to return and check on my teammates. Will we be expecting you this evening?”

“Uh, probably?”

“Then, until tonight.” 

With that, he rolled off.

You stared after him. That conversation had been… vague. You got the sense that he was reluctant to share anything about what he and the other ‘bots got up to.

Something told you that you needed to be doing far more research on what they did in Detroit.

Turning on your heel, you made your way into your apartment, and thought very seriously about collapsing in bed. But duty called, so you hopped into the shower, got into a fresh change of clothes, and dropped your lunch bag off on the counter--you’d clean it up tonight, assuming you got home in time. 

You rushed off for the bus. You’d be a few minutes late, but you could attribute that to traffic, rather than an impromptu sleepover.

And while you were on the bus, you could figure out how to deal with the members of the Autobots that were less than enthused about you.

~*~

“You hold that light damn steady, you hear me?” Ratchet said, not looking up from where he was working.

“Yes, sir!” You hoped your hands weren’t shaking too much. You felt like they were.

How did you get roped into this?

Bumblebee had picked you up again that afternoon after work. Rather than chattering your ear off, which you’d expected, he had turned on music instead--music that you’d bobbed your head to in the past. So you hummed and tapped on the steering wheel as you drove to the base.

The moment you were in, Ratchet had snagged the younger ‘bot by his arm and dragged him into what they called the ‘medical bay’, kicking and screaming. Since nobody else had been around, you had opted to follow them.

Ratchet, to your surprise, had grabbed you by the collar of your shirt and dropped you on a platform up above a large table, where Bumblebee had been forced to stretch out. Once there, you’d been told to keep quiet, hand over things as directed, and watch.

So you had, and here you were, while Bumblebee whined and squirmed and was generally a huge brat about being looked over.

“Hold still,” Ratchet admonished him. “You’ve been complaining about a high-pitched noise all damn day and your audials aren’t going to magically get better by themselves!”

“The high-pitched noise is  _ you _ ,” Bumblebee groused. “Get off my case, Docbot.”

“I will when this is taken care of. Now will you hold  _ still _ .” He looked over at you. “Hey, you. Hand me that datapad.”

You glanced over to your left, and set down the light before hauling a large, flat tablet up. It was about half the size of your body, though not as heavy, thank goodness. 

He took it. “And get back to holding that light!”

You did as directed. Bumblebee rolled onto his side, so the light shone directly on the side of his head. You’d thought at first that the little horns on either side of his helm was his ears, but Ratchet began to work in an area below that.

Bumblebee grumbled. “Feels weird.”

“Your sensors are tellin’ you this needs to be fixed. You oughtta listen to ‘em when they act up.”

You leaned forward to watch Ratchet intently as he got to work. You couldn’t see much of what he was doing, unfortunately, as he was bent over Bumblebee’s head. You wondered if there was actually any point in you holding a light over all of that. But you kept quiet and listened, as well, as they bickered at each other.

Ratchet had struck you as a grumpy, older fellow from the start, and this just confirmed that. But the gruffness he exhibited was less, “Screw you young people” and more, “let me do my job to fix you”. Now that, you could relate to. 

Your arms were wobbly by the time Ratchet finally pulled back and grunted. “How’s that?”

Bumblebee sat up, shaking his head. Then, he brightened. “Hey, the sound’s gone!”

Ratchet nodded. “You’re welcome. Quit tryin’ to bash your own head in.”

Bumblebee grinned. “No promises. Hey, ‘Teach, you okay up there?”

“Yeah.” You set the light down, switching it off. “Need me to grab anything else up here before I come back down? I think I saw a ladder over there.”

“Don’t be silly, c’mere.”

Bumblebee reached out both of his hands.

You glanced at Ratchet, who was giving you an unreadable look, then carefully climbed over the railing and onto Bumblebee’s waiting hands.

He lowered you down to the ground, and you let out a sigh of relief. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome! So! Was I a star patient or what?” he asked, posing.

You let out a soft scoff. “Are you kidding? You were squirming the entire time,” you said, grinning. “I’m amazed Ratchet got any work done on you.”

Ratchet snorted. How a robot could do that was beyond you. “That’s what I’m always sayin’!”

Bumblebee wilted. “Aww, c’mon, I didn’t complain or anything!”

“You’re lucky he didn’t hit anything else sensitive with you fidgeting,” you told him. “You really don’t like holding still, do you?”

“I  _ can’t _ ! I gotta move. I’m not a stiff like certain other ‘bots I could name.”

Ratchet rolled his optics. “Unless you’re playing one of those video games. Then we can’t get you to move for solar cycles at a go.”

“Why don’t you let him play video games while you work on him?” you asked.

“You…!” Ratchet let out a startled sound. Then, he brought up a hand to rub at his own chin. “I… y’know… that ain’t a half bad idea.”

Bumblebee stared at you with wide optics. “You’re a  _ genius _ ,” he told you, in utter seriousness.

You tried very hard not to laugh. “You have a portable game console you could use, right?”

“Well, sure! Sari’s dad hooks us up with a lot of cool stuff. Perks of bein’ friends with her.”

“He does provide a lot,” Ratchet admitted. “Much as I dislike that we’re dependent on one man for more than I care to say.”

“Doesn’t anyone else help you out? I mean, you don’t exactly…” You trailed off, not wanting to offend them.

The two shared a look. “We know. We were convinced when we got here that your planet had ‘bots just like Cybertron. We spent the first few minutes outta stasis tryin’ to talk to everything we could. It took a while before we realized your vehicles were… just that. Vehicles.”

Bumblebee shuddered at that. “It’s kinda like being around zombies all the time.”

“Shocked us halfway to the Allspark and back when we realized you lot were the sentient species on this rock,” Ratchet said. “Now, is there a reason you two are loitering in my medical lab?”

“Well, I thought I could ask you to talk with me a minute or two about uh, the whole teaching thing.” It sounded dumb when you said it aloud like that.

Ratchet only let out a quiet, “Pfah.”

“Well, while you do that, Bulkhead and I’ll get ready!” Bumblebee grinned. “See you soon, ‘Teach!”

“Ready for what?” you asked.

But he was already darting out the door.

You watched him go. “He’s a big fan of surprising people, isn’t he,” you remarked.

“More often than not he ends up surprisin’ himself. Have a seat, kid.”

You looked around, and spotted a ladder that led up to the berth Bumblebee had been on. You decided to opt for that, settling in as Ratchet took a seat on a chair large enough for him.

“Now what do you want?”

You hesitated, trying not to fidget as you figured out what to say. “I talked to Prowl. And I’m aware that some of you are less than enthusiastic about my being here--”

“Prowl is his own ‘bot and he has his own ideas. Don’t pin his opinions on me.”

You blinked. “Oh. I just… assumed you wouldn’t be keen on the whole thing.”

“How d’you figure?”

You shrugged. “You strike me as someone with a lot of experience, and who has his hands full more often than not. And Prowl’s right. I don’t have a license, and I’m not trained to work with adults. But…” You glanced down. “I’m determined to be of use to you guys. From what I’ve seen, your main source of information comes from either Sari herself or her father’s company. And while Sari is amazingly bright and a good kid, she’s… well, a kid.”

You looked back up to see him regarding you. When he didn’t say anything, you continued, “I imagine there are some topics you wouldn’t ever want to end up talking with her about, but maybe there’s something you’d want to discuss with another adult. Things that are hard to understand, especially for kids. I can help with those. And beyond that, like I said, I can recommend other ways--”

He held up a hand, cutting you off.

“Now, you’re puttin’ a lotta words in my mouth and I haven’t even talked yet. I think you better let me do that.”

You blinked, but nodded.

“Truth be told, I know you’re young. You got no confidence, you got no experience, and Sari roped you into this mess just like she roped herself into it.” Ratchet gestured with one hand toward the door. “The kid’s not bad, we know that, but she’s a youngling who desperately needed a friend or two. And y’know what else she needs?  _ Human _ friends.”

You had started to wilt as he spoke, but you kept quiet, letting him say his piece. 

He gestured again before dropping his hand. “So, here we are, Sari’s friends, brought together ‘cuz she needs us fer different reasons.” He shrugged. “No paint offa my nose. You wanna know my opinion on things? I ain’t got one.”

That made you raise your eyebrows.

“I’ve met you all of two times. Sari and Bumblebee think highly of you, and despite yer lack of experience you seem eager to do right by us. That’s enough fer now. I’m withholdin’ judgement until I learn otherwise.” He leaned forward, scowling down at you. “Which means you got a  _ lot  _ to work on if you wanna impress me.”

You nodded. “I.. think I understand. I’ll do my best.”

He huffed. “Anything else?”

“Uhh, would you mind doing that phonics test with me real quick? Should take less than ten minutes.”

“Fine. Let’s move it, I gotta do Optimus’s check next anyway.”

You scampered back down the ladder and jogged as Ratchet made his way out of the medical bay and back toward what you were starting to think of as the living room for the base. 

You were greeted by the sight of Bumblebee, Sari, and Bulkhead all in matching aprons. Somehow.

You stared. “What is happening.”

Sari squealed your name in delight and ran to tackle you. You caught her--barely--as she wrapped her arms tightly around your middle. “Perfect timing! We’re gonna make applesauce like you said!”

You paused. “Come again?”

“You said yesterday you can’t eat all these apples, so you wanted to store ‘em by making applesauce and such,” Bulkhead explained. “We figured this would be a good day to start.”

You glanced up at Ratchet.

Ratchet, as you expected, was unimpressed.

“Can I at least give Ratchet his test before we get into this?”

Sari sighed. “Finnne, but hurry up! We got a lot of work to do!”

“Is there even a kitchen in here?” You gently untangled yourself from Sari, and made your way over to the massive television to hook your laptop up.

“Yep! We don’t really use it, the burner isn’t really hot enough for us to do anything with,” Bumblebee said dismissively. “Sari says it was back for when the plant had human workers in it, they’d take their lunch and stuff in there.”

“Do we have any jars to put the applesauce in?”

“Oh, sure!” Pause. “We need jars?”

You looked over at Sari. “Okay, one second. I need you guys to make a shopping trip if this is actually happening.”

Sari put on a serious expression. “Right. What do we need?”

You listed off the bare essentials for making applesauce. Sari tapped it all out onto her phone with a look of extreme concentration. When you were done, she looked up to Bumblebee. “Let’s go.”

“Yeah!” 

Without another word, the two of them darted out of the living space. Bulkhead watched them go, looking somewhat forlorn in his apron.

“Did you guys make those yourselves?” you asked, pointing at said apron.

“This?” He touched the cloth with one giant hand. “Oh, nah, Sari had it special-ordered for us. Said they’re super important when you’re cooking. Do you like ‘em?”

“They’re pretty cool.”

Bulkhead smiled at you.

“Ahem,” Ratchet said. “Don’t have all day.”

“Oh, right! Have a seat, please, Ratchet.”

You ran Ratchet through the same questions as the others--trying to spell out their own names, the names of their teammates, and a couple other things. Perhaps it was your nervousness about annoying the old medic, but you hurried through a bit faster than usual. When done, you leaned back with a sigh of relief.

“Thank you, that’s all I needed for today.”

“Hmph.” He stood, and left without a word.

“Now what?” Bulkhead asked.

“Where’s Optimus? I haven’t seen him today,” you asked in turn. “And he never did get to go through all these questions.”

Bulkhead shifted. “He’s… in a meeting. Kinda. Well.” He scratched at himself. “Anyway, I’m sure he’d rather be here with you doing this test thingy.”

“Meetings are pretty lame,” you agreed. “Well, since nobody else seems to be around, why don’t you and I talk about art for a bit? Are you an artist yourself, Bulkhead?”

He looked at you like he was seeing the stars for the first time.

“Y-you... You wanna see my art?”

“Yeah!” You nodded. “I definitely wanna see it. And I wanna hear what inspired you about it, too.”

Excitedly, he began to lumber off and away from the room.

You set your stuff down, and ran after him. At least he was easy to follow, even if you couldn’t quite keep up with him.

Bulkhead led you past several of the doors that had been shut the night before. One of them was partially open now; you peeked in as you jogged past, and saw that the ceiling of that room was completely gone. But it looked intentional. You were tempted to stop and investigate, but forced yourself to keep up with the biggest of the Autobots.

You were panting by the time you entered the room Bulkhead had led you to. He stood in front of a sculpture of sorts, beaming.

Looking up, you took it in.

You could see that it was something he’d worked on for a long while; the metal poles were bent just so, and the paint job looked surprisingly intricate. Something about it reminded you of Bulkhead, though you couldn’t pin down exactly what it was.

“Wow,” you said. “What’s it called?”

“Oh. Uh. Does it need a name?”

“On Earth, we tend to give art names once they’re done. But I guess it doesn’t need one,” you said, walking up closer to inspect it. “How’d you come up with it?”

“It just came to me at one point. I was picking up some of those metal bars,” he said, gesturing to them. “And one of them bent a bit in my servos. I figured I’d see how far they bent. Then one thing led to another, and…” He shrugged.

“Wow. That’s amazing. It reminds me a lot of you.”

He blinked. 

“Well,” you hastened to add, “maybe it’s just because of the colors. But something about it makes me think about you.”

“Huh. What if I called it Bulkhead 2?”

You smirked. “I mean, you  _ could-- _ ”

“HEY! There you are!”

Bumblebee came skidding into the room. As usual, he left marks on the ground. In his hands was Sari, who had her arms full of grocery bags.

“What’s our time?” Bumblebee said, staring at you expectantly.

You worked your mouth for a second. Then, sheepishly, you shrugged. “I didn’t know I was supposed to be timing you. Sorry.”

“Ugh!” Bumblebee and Sari shared a Look. Then, Bumblebee set Sari down. “Well, we got the stuff you said.”

“That was fast,” you said. “We only just started looking at Bulkhead’s art.”

Bumblebee walked over to rest a hand on his larger friend. “Bulkhead made you look at his art while we were gone, did he?” he asked with a grin.

“She  _ asked _ me to see it,” Bulkhead told him proudly. “And she  _ likes _ it.”

Bumblebee and Sari’s eyebrows both shot up.

You weren’t sure you liked the intent way both of them were staring at you now. “Well, thanks, Bulkhead. I guess this means it’s applesauce time?”

Sari nodded. “Sure! I’ll show you the way to the kitchen.”

“Wait, you don’t have an apron,” Bumblebee said, pointing at you accusingly.

“True. Guess that means I can’t do any actual cooking,” you said, half-jokingly.

“That’s okay, you can teach us how to do it!” Sari beamed.

“Right, well, lead the way.”

Sari did, with Bumblebee making his way up to walk alongside her. It was cute, watching the way Bumblebee adjusted his pace so that Sari didn’t have to run to keep up.

_ Lucky kid _ , you thought, remembering how you had to jog for both Ratchet and Bulkhead.

The two had their heads together--at least, as well as they could given the height differences. On occasion they would glance over their shoulders at you, then go back to whispering at each other.

“Never a good sign when those two are plotting,” Bulkhead sighed from behind you. 

You glanced back to see he was ambling along at an even slower pace. “Is trouble brewing?”

“Somethin’ like that. You’d better be on your guard, teacher-lady. I know that look on Bumblebee’s face, and if he’s directing it at  _ you _ , then I’d suggest you run.”

“I don’t think I  _ can _ run, but thanks for the warning,” you said. “Think you can try to give me a heads up if you suspect anything before I do?”

He blinked. “Me? Why not ask Prowl or anyone else?”

“You’re his buddy, right? You just said you know Bumblebee pretty well. So I’d trust you to spot the signs. I’m kind of flying blind here, so I’m counting on you.”

He looked thoughtful at that. “Then in that case... You got it, teacher-lady.”

“You can just call me by my first name,” you pointed out.

He smiled. “I could, but I feel like I’m already learnin’ a lot from you.”

That made you stop in place. “Me? I haven’t done anything!”

“You’re doin’ more than you think. Now c’mon, let’s not leave Bumblebee and Sari together to plot for too long.”

You picked up your pace again.


	7. Drive It Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You have a shitty time. 'Bee tries to help. Warning for mild violence (you are not physically harmed during this chapter.)

The kitchen, to put it nicely, was a nightmare.

Once, you could see how workers would have had a little cafeteria set up in here. It would have been utilitarian, just what one needed to get food into bellies and get workers back to their jobs. Large stoves with multiple burners, outlets for large fridges and freezers, cabinets full of old equipment.

But now?

You reached out and hesitantly ran a finger over one of the stoves. You winced at the grime that came off.

“Okay, nope. Putting a halt on this right now,” you said.

Sari and Bumblebee turned, looking surprised. “What’s the problem? It’s a kitchen, right?” Bumblebee asked.

You held up your finger for inspection. “Would you eat--uh… ingest? Would you  _ refuel _ with oil or energon if it came from a kitchen like this?”

Bumblebee’s expression fell. “Aw, man, are you saying we have to  _ clean _ before we do anything fun?”

“Sorry, but otherwise making applesauce isn’t happening,” you said. You glanced at Bulkhead. “You got any cleaning supplies around here?”

He shrugged. “Not really, at least, not for stuff like this.”

You sighed. “All right. I made you guys go out and get applesauce stuff, so it’s only fair I pick up cleaning supplies.”

“What,  _ now _ ?” Sari asked. She was beginning to pout.

You checked the time. “I’ve already been here for three hours,” you said with some surprise. “So I’d better head out. I’ve got grading to do tonight, anyway.”

Sari was full-on pouting, and Bumblebee was attempting to imitate her. “But what about the food?”

“The apples will be fine for a few days, guys. Just set everything in a clean spot. Tell you what, I’ll help clean this all up tomorrow when I come over.” You looked up and saw child and robot were both still attempting to pout at you. You sighed. “If you guys make applesauce in this kitchen as it is, I’m refusing the gift. It’s not safe for humans right now.”

Bumblebee let out a whine. “Fine, but tomorrow? We’re absolutely doin’ this thing, and you’re not running away from the challenge.”

“Sure,” you said with an amused roll of your eyes. “If you guys see Optimus, will you let him know I still need to speak with him?”

“I’ll do that,” Bulkhead said.

“Thanks.”

“Sari, you wanna come with for a little ride?” Bumblebee asked.

She grinned, the pout disappearing instantly. “Yeah!”

You weren’t overly surprised at the offer. It seemed more often than not, Bumblebee was the one who was the most hands-on when it came to Earth… including yourself and Sari. 

“See you tomorrow,” you said to Bulkhead, as you set off for the entrance.

He waved one massive arm. “Bye, teacher-lady!”

You, Bumblebee, and Sari passed by Prowl on the way out. He glanced over as you passed by, but beyond a polite nod, nothing was said. Welp. You weren’t sure what else you were expecting.

Soon enough, you were taking off. You caught hold of your own shirt and held on, rather than clutching at the steering wheel. Sari, used to your insistence in taking the drivers’ seat by now, curled up in the passengers’ seat without complaint.

“So. Bulkhead,” Sari said, as the three of you drove.

“Yeah?”

“...He’s a nice guy.”

“Yep,” you agreed, peering out the front windshield. Hey, just because Bumblebee was driving didn’t mean you couldn’t keep an eye on things.

“He’s my best buddy, besides Sari,” Bumblebee spoke up. “We went through a lot together before coming to Earth. If you got any questions or… y’know, anything… I’m the guy for it.”

“A lot, huh?” You reached up to rub at your chin in thought. “Would it be too forward to ask how old you guys are?”

Bumblebee let out a few seconds of startled static. Then, he started laughing.

“Yeesh, ‘Teach, I don’t ask you about  _ your _ age!”

“Why do people care so much? I’m seven!” Sari said. “And counting down the days to eight!”

“That’s just how it is,” you told her. “Anyway, sorry, Bumblebee, if you’d rather not say--”

“Oh, no, you misunderstand. I can say what it is, but it might not mean much to you. D’you know how long a vorn is?”

You shot Sari a curious look. She just grinned.

“...Yeah, I’m not sayin’ a word,” Bumblebee said.

“Is it like, a hundred years or something?”

He let out an impatient-sounding sigh. “I just said--”

“Okay, how old do you think he is?” Sari cut in. “Or Bulkhead? Or any of the others?”

You crossed your arms over your chest. “I get the feeling that, if I were to put you guys in order.. Ratchet would be the oldest, and you’d be the youngest, Bumblebee. So I guess Bulkhead would be similar in age to you, if you’ve known each other for a while? Uhh. Honestly, no idea about Prowl or Optimus. I feel like they’re similar ages but…”

Hearing Bumblebee laugh, you let out an amused huff of air. “What?” you asked. “I’d like you to guess how old  _ I _ am, then.”

“Why, are you super old?”

You sputtered a laugh. “Rude! Why would you think that?”

“I don’t fraggin’ know! Sari’s construction day was a tenth of a vorn or so ago and she’s the smartest human I know. And you’re a lot taller, but beyond that I have no idea.”

The three of you continued to bicker all the way back to your car.

It was only when Bumblebee pulled to a stop and his door opened that you said, all too innocently, “You said Sari’s a tenth of a vorn in terms of age, right?”

“Yeah, give or take a few cycles.”

“So, that makes a vorn close to eighty years, right? So how many vorns were you, again?”

Bumblebee sputtered a laugh. “Not telling!”

“More importantly,” Sari said, “you should think about what Bumblebee said earlier. About, y’know. Asking him. About stuff. ‘N things.”

_ Stuff and things? _

“Oh, don’t worry, I’ll be asking all sorts of questions over the next few weeks, I’m sure.”

That seemed to satisfy the both of them. 

“Great! See ya tomorrow! Remember: applesauce!” Bumblebee said.

You chuckled. “Applesauce,” you confirmed.

The door swung shut as soon as you were entirely outside, and a moment later you were left alone in the parking lot.

“Right,” you said aloud to yourself, turning toward your car. “Cleaning supplies.”

You fished around in your bag for your car keys as you approached your own vehicle. It was funny, going from a living, breathing (maybe?) creature that drove you around to the car. The more you thought about it, the more you sympathized with Bumblebee’s comment of it being like he was surrounded by zombies all the time. 

_ That’s gotta be as weird for him--and them--as it is on our side of things! _

Aha, keys found. You were about to pull them out of your bag when something cold and hard pressed roughly into your back.

You froze.

“Set the bag down,” you heard a gruff voice say.

You slowly did as ordered, your head spinning. Your hands were still wrapped around your keys, so you huddled in on yourself, careful not to let them jangle.

“Walk. _Move_.” 

You stumbled over your own bag and toward the wall of the school, starting to shake. At least whoever this was, apparently didn’t want you. They just wanted your money. Hah! Your  _ money _ ! As if your salary was anything worth having.

You went right up to the wall of the school, where the voice said, “Against the wall. You move and I blow your brains out.”

So you stayed there, trying not to tremble. 

When you held still and silent, the cold, hard thing began to pull away. You barely breathed, keeping your face mashed up against the wall. You heard footsteps. You let out a shaky sob, but didn’t move. You listened, intently, as you heard something get picked up, and then running footsteps.

You waited a long, long time until you dared to so much as turn your head.

It was late. You were alone.

You dropped to your knees. All of a sudden, it felt as though all of your energy had been sucked out of you, leaving you on the ground. You rested against the school wall. 

God. Your phone. Your wallet. Your laptop. Your credit cards, your everything.

You had to drag yourself to a police station pronto.

Forcing yourself to your feet, you staggered back toward your car, hyper-aware of everything around you. It wasn’t until you were in your car, door locked, engine running, that you let your tears fall.

~*~

The night was hell. You spent far too long at the police station filing paperwork, dealing with bored policemen (and their ‘bots), and when you finally got home were completely unable to sleep. Every time you started to drift off, you remembered that sudden feeling of helplessness.

You were listless through work. Ms. Harrington shot you several concerned looks, and sent you on more gopher errands than usual. You took the breaks gratefully, giving yourself an extra minute here and there while you made copies, or went out for coffee, or ran to the computer lab to print and cut some materials.

By the time quitting time rolled around, you felt completely dead on your feet. So you didn’t even acknowledge the yellow compact car humming with anticipation; instead, you walked right by, making a beeline for your car.

“...Uh, was it something I said?” you heard.

You whirled, and only now did it sink in.

“Oh. Bumblebee.” You paused, reaching up to run a hand through your hair. “Hi.”

“Wow. That’s the most lacklustre thing I’ve heard you say. What’s eatin’ you?”

“Shitty night.” 

To your surprise, he didn’t immediately jump on the fact that you’d sworn. Instead, he transformed, and peered down at you with his hands on his hips, a frown on his face.

“How bad are we talkin’?”

“Mugged,” you said, continuing the walk toward your car. “Took everything but my car keys.”

“Ohhh, _that’s_ why you weren’t getting Sari’s texts. She sent you like, a hundred.” Pause. “Wait you were  _ mugged _ ?!”

“At gunpoint. I think.” You reached your car, but rather than opening it you leaned against the driver’s side door, peering up at Bumblebee. “I dunno, I couldn’t see their face.”

“You were  _ mugged _ and you--you--!” Bumblebee flailed, and you got the idea he was frustrated at not being able to express things how he wanted. “Did you  _ at least _ go to the cops?”

“Yes. Was there all night. Super fun.” You punched the air halfheartedly. “Whoo.”

He stopped flailing. Looked at you.

Then, gently, “...How about we just go for a drive, buddy?”

“What about the applesauce.” You didn’t bother to make it into a question.

“What  _ about  _ the applesauce,” he retorted. “You've said yourself it’ll wait another day. C’mon. I’ll drive you. And then I’ll drive you home.”

“My car,” you began, but he held up a finger to silence you.

“_Nup_. Nuh-uh. I’m driving. Now c’mon.” 

With that, he transformed back into the compact car, his door swinging open.

You sighed, and not having the energy to argue, climbed in as you were told.

He started off, putting on some music that you liked.

It was quiet. You watched the scenery go by, and after a while realized he was taking you out of town, rather than toward their base. The traffic eased, and over time you realized you no longer had to stop every few minutes at a light. Houses with proper yards, huge supermarkets, and other landmarks outside the city limits met your eyes.

There was a good thirty minutes or so of quiet until you finally decided to speak.

“I should have remembered to keep an eye out. I don’t work in that safe an area, but… Because of that, all my stuff’s gone. And I probably won’t get it back.” You bit your lower lip, feeling the urge to cry rising. Ugh, you were sure that was something Bumblebee didn’t need to see.

“You said yourself it wasn’t a safe area,” Bumblebee pointed out. “Funny story: we saw another person in the parking lot when we pulled up, but we didn’t think anything of ‘em… until today when I saw you.”

You shook your head. “Not your fault, not your problem. It’s not like anyone’d be dumb enough to try to rob an Autobot.”

He laughed wryly. “You’d be surprised. And that’s not what we’re talkin’ about here. Look, you’re… practical. You slipped up once. At least you’re not hurt, right? I mean.. Aside from the obvious lack of recharging.”

You wrapped your arms around yourself. “And scared out of my friggin’ mind. Sure, aside from that we’re peachy.”

“My bad, 'Teach. We shoulda waited until you were in your car.”

That brought you up short.

Bumblebee continued, “‘Cuz I didn’t think to, you got hurt, and I dunno if I can fix it… but I can listen as long as you want me to. If you want me to.”

“Oh. Bumblebee, you don’t have to-”

“I dunno, I feel like I oughtta. Not right, havin' you beat yourself up over something not your fault, y'know?”

You sighed, reaching out to pet the dash. It felt a little warm under your touch. You gave it a few gentle pats.

He chuckled. “Are you actually trying to comfort  _ me _ ?”

You pulled your hand away. “I didn’t mean to make you feel cruddy just ‘cuz I am.”

“Well, it’s normal to get upset when a friend is sad, right?”

_ You think of me as a friend? _

You hadn’t realized you’d said that aloud until Bumblebee said, “Of course I do. I mean, have you  _ seen  _ you and Sari together? And you’re not like, some stick-in-the-mud professional or whatever--you act like we’re all friends, too. Lookit how far you’ve come--a few days ago you woulda been clutching the steering wheel like nobody’s business. Now you’re just hangin’ out with me.”

That made you smile a little despite yourself. “True… I guess you’re just that good at putting people at ease.”

He let out a pleased-sounding laugh. “That’s me! So, what d’you figure? I’m betting you’re hungry, right? We can stop off at a rest area for some unhealthy snacks.”

“Oh. Uh, I mean, I _would_, but--”

“Check the glove compartment.”

Curious, you did so... And found a few bills and coins, with paper receipts from fast food joints scattered throughout.

“Sari insisted I carry a bit in case she gets hungry when we’re hanging out. I can’t even tell you how many times we’ve pranked drive-thrus with her at the drivers’ seat.” He snickered.

“You two sure are troublemakers, aren’t you? Young at spark, indeed.”

“Not any  _ real _ sorta trouble! We just like to have fun. What about you, what do you do for fun? Besides hang out with cool Autobots, of course.”

You were smiling more genuinely now as you talked about the movies you liked, the books you’d read, and the video games you’d played. Bumblebee seemed thrilled you were into some of the same things he was, and you found yourself talking more and more about horror movies in particular as you drove along.

At some point, you stopped at a rest area and grabbed a sandwich and some chips. You were careful not to make a mess as you ate. The sun slowly sank over the horizon, and eventually, you found yourself being taken back into town.

“Hey, uh, so I need to know your address so I can get you home.”

You parted your lips to protest, but he cut you off again.

“Ah, ah, we agreed to this hours ago. Your address, please. Your car is as safe as it would be anywhere. I’m driving you in the morning, too.”

“You don’t have to-”

“I know, that’s what makes me amazing.” 

You rolled your eyes, but obediently gave him your address.

You were long done with your snacks by the time you rolled up in front of your apartment building. When Bumblebee came to a stop, you hesitated, loathe to climb out just yet. There was something you felt was being left unsaid or undone. 

“Thank you. I needed that more than I realized,” you tried.

“You bet. You rest up and prepare for adventures tomorrow, yeah? What time d’you need me to be here?”

You told him, and he let out a sound of affirmation. Meanwhile, you were still puzzling over things in your head. You still felt like something was missing.

But what?

“I guess I should go inside,” you said.

“Yeah.” 

It was only then that his door swung open.

You patted the dash again. “See you in the morning.” You slid out.

“I ain’t leaving until you’re inside.”

You smiled. “All right, all right, I’m going. G’night.”

You headed for the stairs, and when you reached your door you peered out to see that, true to his word, Bumblebee was still idling in front of your apartment. You opened your door, waved, and went inside.

Only then did you hear his engine as he took off.


	8. One of us, one of us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hugs and gifts are awfully nice.

You were called by the police in the middle of your workday. The good news was, they found your bag. It had your wallet, your HDMI cable, and a few other little odds and ends still in it. The bad news was, of course, all the cash, cards, and actual electronics were gone. Just like you’d suspected.

At least your new cards were on their way, and you’d arranged things early enough that you didn’t get any fraudulent charges on your accounts. 

The drive with Bumblebee also had helped you ease yourself into sleep, so you were much better rested than the night before. Ms. Harrington sent you away less, and you put more of yourself into your work, determined to help as much as you were able.

It had also been pleasant to be picked up by Bumblebee first thing, you mused as you watched the kids clean up after an arts and crafts activity. You made a mental note to figure out a way to do this activity with Bulkhead at some point--he’d probably get a kick out of it, if you found a canvas big enough for him.

But yes… stumbling into the car, having someone gently tease you for being so sleepy first thing, warning you not to fall asleep on his watch… all of it had been nice. 

Friend, indeed.

You still felt like you were missing or forgetting something, and the feeling didn’t go away. If anything, it intensified when you walked out after work and spotted Bumblebee waiting at the doors, in car mode.

Walking up, you gave his roof a light pat. “Don’t I know you from somewhere?”

The door swung open. “Ha, ha. C’mon, get in, everybody wants to see you!”

You did as you were told. “Everybody?” you echoed.

“Yeah. I told ‘em what happened.” As you buckled your seatbelt, he continued, “Sari’s real worked up, and so is Bulkhead. If I know Sari--and I do--I’m bettin’ she’ll give you some way to help protect yourself in case this happens again.”

You shivered. “Hopefully it won’t.”

Bumblebee went quiet as he pulled out of the parking lot. “I can’t lie to you, ‘Teach. What you’re doing, gettin’ in with us… chances are dangerous stuff might keep happening.”

“Wait.” You tilted your head, frowning out into nothing. “Are you saying this wasn’t just a random mugging?”

The lights on his dash flickered for a moment. “I’m not saying it _ was _ , but I’m not saying it _ wasn’t _either, y’know?” Bumblebe sighed. “Look, it’s a lot to talk about, and I think it’d be better for someone like Optimus to walk you through the important details, rather than have me forget something. But! That’s not the important thing.”

_ Mugging is pretty damn important to worry about. _ Rather than say that out loud, however, you just said, “What is, then?”

“Being with us might be more dangerous, but most of the time? _ We’re _ more dangerous than anything anyone else can throw at you…. And you’re _ our _ friend.”

Something about the emphasis on the word ‘our’ sent a more pleasant shudder down your spine. “Thank you. That’s… reassuring. I think.”

“I’m a pretty reassuring guy. So, hey, what happened at your soon-to-be former job?”

You moved on to lighter topics as you made your way to the base. To your surprise, for the first time since your initial meeting, everyone appeared to be present.

The minute Sari spotted you, she yelled out your name. You braced yourself as she launched at you, and soon enough she was clinging to your middle. “Are you hurt? Are you okay?”

“Teacher-lady!” Bulkhead clambered over. “Bumblebee said you got attacked by another human!”

“She doesn’t look the worse for wear,” Prowl commented to Ratchet.

“Sneak attacks mess with the mind, not the body. You should know that,” the medic grumped.

You held up your hands. “Whoa, one at a time, please.” 

Once again you heard your name, but it was from Optimus. He was regarding you with a worried expression, and as you turned to face him, he knelt to be closer to your level. While he was still towering over you, you appreciated the gesture nonetheless.

“I heard from Bumblebee what happened. I’m very sorry to hear you were attacked, but grateful you were not physically harmed in the process.” 

You smiled a bit sheepishly from the attention. “Oh, it’s... It happens in a big city like this. There are statistics and stuff. I was just stup-” remembering how Bumblebee had reacted, you quickly amended your words. “I was just unlucky.”

If Optimus noticed, he didn’t comment on it. “I hope you don’t mind, but I looked into the matter myself when I heard you reported it to the authorities.”

“Uh, I guess that’s fine, though--no offense--I’m not sure what you could have done to help.”

“Mostly I wanted to make certain it wasn’t someone we knew.”

“And it wasn’t! But the news sure is gobbling it up,” Sari said, grabbing your hand.

You looked down at her, frowning. “News?”

She sighed. “You _ never _ check the news, do you?”

“In my defense, I was a bit preoccupied. I didn’t get much sleep the night it happened, and last night I was catching up on rest.”

“Well, might as well show you now so you’re prepared. C’mon.”

She tugged you toward the giant couch. You obeyed, casting a questioning look over your shoulder to the assembled ‘bots. Optimus and Bumblebee suddenly looked a bit sheepish. Prowl and Ratchet looked unconcerned as always, though their optics followed your movements. Bulkhead, for his part, lumbered after you.

Sari scrambled up into the nest of cushions you’d fallen asleep on before and hit the remote, bringing up a news channel.

One of the local news reporters appeared to be on the street, in a neighborhood you recognized. Frowning, you leaned forward…

And blinked. “Is that my school?”

_ “--declined to comment on the unusual circumstances surrounding this teacher’s aide, _ ” the reporter said, his expression stern. “ _ But we are determined to get to the bottom of the situation! What is this teacher’s aide’s aims? What is her connection to the Autobots? And why is Sumdac clamming up about it? We’ll report to you as this story unfolds. Back to you in the studio.” _

Your eyes went wide.

“Hey, uh, are humans supposed to go that pale?” you heard Bumblebee mutter, presumably to Ratchet.

“Why,” you said, and cleared your throat. “_ Why _ are they suddenly talking about me?”

The news went back to the studio, where the anchorman made a few comments about the Autobots in general “picking up new friends”. But before you could focus on it, Sari caught your attention by squeezing your hand.

“Because you’re one of us now,” she said solemnly.

“No need to be so dramatic, Sari,” Prowl said. He made a show of clearing his throat to catch your attention, so you obligingly turned in your seat to face him, all the while wondering if robots needed to actually clear their throats.

_ If not, is that a habit he picked up from Earth? _

“Essentially, you should expect to get some extra attention in the coming weeks. Expect to be interviewed by well-meaning but overall uninformed people.”

You tried not to wince. “Right. Uh, anyone I should worry about? Or look out for?”

“Petty muggers aside, bein’ in a position like ours means we got enemies as well as friends,” Ratchet grunted. “If yer not a fan, you might wanna consider leavin’ the city as a whole. Otherwise…”

You nodded, not needing him to continue that sentence. “Oh, I’m not going anywhere. I signed a contract and I intend to see it through. I ordered custom flash cards and everything,” you added with an attempt at a smile. “Autobot-sized, too. Well. Bumblebee-sized, but it’ll probably be more comfortable for you lot than trying to use human-sized materials.”

Optimus and Ratchet shared a look. Then, Optimus nodded. “Sari?” 

“Right!” Sari tugged on your arm. “Since you’re sticking around, you get to look forward to some cool stuff to make sure you stay safe from here on out!”

You looked down at her. Sari was beaming up at you, bouncing a little on her knees in excitement. “Stuff like what?”

“Probably a weapon. And some defense stuff, like pepper spray. Oh! And a phone, of course.” Sari withdrew an old, battered-looking cell phone from her pocket, looking smug. “Wanna see something cool?”

“Uh.” Glancing around at the robots, you shrugged. “Sure?”

Sari giggled, and held up the phone. “Okay, nothing up my sleeves, right? This is an old cell phone my dad used to use when he was like, I dunno, a teenager or something.”

“It looks that old,” you said, amused at the show.

She grinned. “Right?” She held up her key. “Now, here’s my key, that works not only with Autobots, but also all forms of technology. Right?”

“Okay, with you so far.”

“This should be cool,” Bumblebee muttered.

Sari moved the key toward the phone; as she did, the key began to glow, just like it had when you took that elevator ride. You leaned forward, watching with fascination as something opened up on the phone that hadn’t been there before; a little hatch where they key fit perfectly.

The phone was soon surrounded by a bright light. A moment later, the light dimmed…

And well, it still looked like a clunky old flip phone, but there was definitely something different.

It no longer looked battered and used, and the colors were brighter. When Sari offered it to you, you flipped open the phone to see it was at full battery already. Out of curiosity, you brought up the contacts list…

You blinked. Raised an eyebrow at Sari. When she grinned at you, you couldn’t help but smile as you hit one of the contacts on the list.

A split second later, Bumblebee let out a surprised, “_ Waugh _?!”

You started laughing.

“Pick up, dummy!” Sari scolded him.

Bumblebee did so, somehow, and you heard his voice in two places. “Are you saying this phone is connected to our comm links now?”

“Looks that way,” you said, hanging up the phone. You scrolled through. “It looks like there’s a contact for each of you in here, along with Sari, of course.”

“That’s handy.” Optimus tilted his head. “That way if we need to get in touch with you, you can reach us pretty quickly.”

“Or if we just want to chat! It does texting too, of course,” Sari said. “Though the keyboard might make it a bit slower than you’re used to.”

“I’ll live, I’ve had a flip phone before,” you told her. “Besides, the security of knowing I can call any of you whenever I want is more than worth it.”

She beamed. “So you like it?”

“Yeah.” You smiled at her. “I really do.”

Sari tackled you in a hug.

This time, you weren’t prepared for it, so you went sprawling into the pile of cushions with a grunt of, “Ow!” Then, laughing, you patted her on the back. “I should be the one hugging you, silly. You just gave me a heck of a cool gift.”

She cuddled up close, and you felt your heart melt a little. “Nah, I like hugging you. You’re nice to hug.”

“Hey! What about me?” Bumblebee complained, good-naturedly.

Sari looked up and stuck her tongue out at him. “You’re all good huggers,” she said with a roll of her eyes.

“I feel like I’m being condescended to,” Prowl commented to Ratchet. You heard a hint of playfulness in his tone. “Anyway, is the the meeting over, now we’ve established the instructor is unharmed?”

“Yes, of course,” Optimus said. “You can go back to your usual thing, Prowl.”

Prowl nodded, and walked off.

Bumblebee and Sari, meanwhile, had gotten into a discussion of hugging. Since Sari was basically on top of you, it was awkward to wiggle your way up into a semi-sitting position. With some nudging, you managed to get Sari to cuddle up on one side of you, and you kept one arm around her in turn. Something about the way she was clinging felt less endearing and more… like something you should take note of.

_ Her father sure seems very laid-back about her hanging out with an adult, or all these alien robots for that matter. How much attention does Sari get, beyond from these guys? What about her other friends, those her age? _

“...she smells nice. You should try it!”

“I _ know _ she smells nice, she’s ridden in my alt mode before,” Bumblebee was retorting. “That doesn’t mean ‘Teach is a better hugger.”

You tuned back in and, noting that Bulkhead had moved in to change the channel on the television, you leaned over to speak to him. “You think I should just walk away during this argument of theirs?” you asked.

Bulkhead chuckled. “Only if you want to get tackled by a 15 foot robot to prove who the ‘best hugger’ is.” He paused. “Might happen anyway. Brace yourself.”

You made a face. “Just remember I’m as squishy as Sari is. Only there’s more of me. If this happens I’ll need you to rescue me.”

“Something tells me you can handle yourself just fine, teacher-lady.”

“Your confidence is touching,” you muttered half-jokingly.

"All right, let's settle this once and for all. 'Teach!"

Bulkhead shot you an 'I told you so' look. Resigning yourself, you turned to see both Bumblebee and Sari staring at you expectantly.

"Yes?"

Bumblebee held out his arms. "I want to test this personally."

"You should really ask for, rather than demand hugs, " you said, bemused.

He made an impatient sound. "You don't make Sari ask."

"Sari is a kid," you pointed out. "Although you have a point. Sari?"

Sari, who had stuck her tongue out at Bumblebee, paused to look at you.

"Please ask me the next time you want hugs, okay? I'll more than likely say yes, but it is important to ask."

Now both of them were sulking. 

"Fiiine," Sari grumped.

You smiled at her. "Thank you."

Then, you turned your attention to Bumblebee, who was still holding his arms out like a demanding child. When your eyes met his optics, he put on a pout and wiggled his fingers. "C'mon," he coaxed. "Please? "

It wasn't exactly the request you'd been looking for, but...

Then again why were you so reticent all of a sudden? Bumblebee had been touchy from the beginning. Yet...

For some reason, the thought of hugging him suddenly made your stomach do flip-flops. 

Hoping you weren't blushing, you made a show of playfully rolling your eyes. "Finnne," you said, in a fair imitation of Sari. Pulling away from the young girl, you got to your feet just as Bumblebee knelt to greet you, his pout giving way to a smile.

And a moment later, you had your arms around his neck and he was gently cradling you against him, as naturally as though you'd already done it a million times.

His hands rested on your shoulders and middle back, respectfully keeping everything above the waist despite the size differences. He pulled you in with just enough pressure to make it feel like a firm hug without it being uncomfortable. And to top it all off, not only was he kneeling, but he was leaning into the hug, making it easy for you to hold onto him just by going on your toes.

You were pleasantly surprised again at how comfortable he felt to hug. It reminded you of touching the hood of your car a few minutes after you'd turned it off. Warm, but not unpleasantly hot.

Someone cleared their throat.

Blinking, you pulled away. Bumblebee was a bit slower, and when you peered up at his face you realized his optics had slid shut. He looked preoccupied as you turned to see who had interrupted.

Bulkhead was giving you the robot equivalent of a raised eyebrow.

Sari, for her part, was glaring at Bumblebee.

You fought the sudden urge to fidget like a child who'd gotten caught doing something they shouldn't.

Bumblebee, for his part, suddenly let out that hissing sound that you were beginning to understand was his "flustered" noise.

"So? " Bulkhead prompted.

"So?" Bumblebee echoed, somewhat helplessly. Then, he blinked. "Uhhh! I mean! She's okay. I guess."

"Is that why hugging her took well over a cycle?" Prowl drawled from behind the sofa.

_ Oh good, he saw too. _

"Hey! Shut up!" Bumblebee snapped. "You're just jealous ‘Teach already trusts me."

Prowl shrugged. "Whatever you say."

"What do you _ want _, Prowl? I thought you were busy with stuff. Like watching paint dry."

"Amusing."

You decided to scoot away. You bumped into the sofa, so you turned to climb back up into it. As you did, Bulkhead leaned in to murmur to you.

"You all right, teacher-lady?"

You nodded. "Yeah. Fine. Absolutely. Totally." 

"You sure?" He gave you that Look again . "Your face is all a different color."

"Huh?"

You reached up to touch your own cheeks. They felt hot.

Optimus made a show of clearing his throat. "Now that Bumblebee is satisfied with his... _ Test _," he said, sounding amused, "didn't you want to give me a test as well?"

Relieved at the change of topic, you tilted your head back to smile up at him. "Sure, should only take a few minutes."

You spent the next little while falling back into a sort of routine with the robots. Sari stuck close by; while she didn't outright hug you again, she did stay tucked by your side as you ran Optimus through the phonics test at long last.

Like Bulkhead, he was not only cooperative but also curious, asking questions as you went. You discovered that any mention of human history made him perk up. All the while, Sari watched and you were vaguely aware of Bumblebee and Prowl bickering somewhere in the background.

At last, you leaned back with a sigh. "That should do it, Optimus. Thank you."

He politely inclined his head. "No, thank you."

"Are you done doing teacher stuff?" Sari asked. She was swinging her legs, letting them dangle over the edge of the sofa.

"For today, yes."

She whooped. "Good. We should do something fun! All of us!"

"Including me? " Optimus asked.

"Yeah!"

"We can still make that stuff right?" Bulkhead suggested. "That sauce?"

All eyes turned to you.

Almost despite yourself, you grinned. "What the heck. Why not, let's make that applesauce."

~*~

Sari knew something was up.

(Nearly) eight years was plenty of time to figure a few things out, and the fact that something had happened between you and Bumblebee hadn't escaped her notice. She was a genius, after all. 

And while she was thrilled that you were getting along with the bots--far better than she'd dreamed of, really --the fact remained that whatever this was did not fit into The Plan.

Being, of course, the plot she and Bumblebee had hatched up about you... And Bulkhead.

Not to say that plan was a goner. When Sari signalled to Bumblebee to walk with her, he readily adopted a mischievous smile and dropped back, allowing you and Bulkhead the opportunity to walk ahead to the kitchen.

When you entered, you let out a delighted gasp. "What the--it's all clean!" you exclaimed.

"We thought it would be nice if you had one less thing to worry about," Bulkhead said. "Does it look okay?"

You turned, beaming up at him. "It looks great! We can definitely cook today. You all did a great job."

"Of course we did!" Bumblebee bragged.

Sari pointedly nudged his leg with her elbow.

"...Though Bulkhead did most of the dirty work," he added.

"That's not--" Bulkhead began.

"Anyway, let's get cooking!" Sari cut in. "What should we do first?"

Success! You didn't question the cleaning any further. Instead, your eyes narrowed and you clapped your hands together. "Right. Let's assign roles and make a plan."

And so the applesauce making finally began. Bumblebee had to watch the stove. Bulkhead got to do the smashing. Optimus was put on standby, and while Prowl declined to actively participate, he did opt to hang around and spectate. Sari was the gopher and the taste tester, which suited her just fine. It gave her plenty of time to watch what was going on.

Like how, despite The Plan, it was Bumblebee who laughed hardest at your jokes. Who turned to look at you when you helped give Bulkhead advice. Who seemed the most excited about making something with you.

This could very easily get weird if Sari wasn't careful.

After all, look at you! You'd be perfect for Bulkhead. To do anything else would be a crime. 

Besides. Bumblebee was her best friend. He didn't have time for.... Other things.

"So, what is the purpose of cooking down these apples, again?" Optimus asked.

"To store them and eat them later," Sari chirped. "Hey, do we have cinnamon? "

You passed her the spice. She happily began to add some to the current batch.

"It is true, a lot of food on Earth appears to spoil far too quickly," Prowl commented. He stood by the door, servos crossed and his shoulder resting against the doorway.

You nodded. "Humans need regular feeding, and especially in winter that can be tough for us. So we pickle, salt, preserve and freeze food to tide us over." You paused. "These days, it's less of a necessity, but it's handy when we buy in bulk."

"Buy in bulk?" Bulkhead echoed.

"People buy a ton of something at once," Sari explained . 

"I've never seen you guys ingest anything," you said. You'd turned to peer curiously up at Optimus. "Surely you have some form of cuisine..?"

"It is a bit more straightforward for us," he said thoughtfully. "On earth, we tend to make do with oil, but back home, energon is the ‘fuel of choice’. It can be presented in many ways, but honestly I tend to just grab a cube--or on earth, an oil barrel, since it’s faster."

You chuckled. "Sounds easier, too. Do you have a preference on how it's, er, prepared?"

Bumblebee craned his head around. "We can show you after this. Hey, 'Teach, this look good?"

You wandered over to check. 

Prowl, meanwhile, beckoned to Sari by crooking his finger at her.

Curious, Sari abandoned her post to walk over.

Prowl ducked so that he could murmur to her. "You still have the cores of these apples, don't you? Mind giving me some of the seeds?"

Sari shot him a surprised look. "You wanna keep the seeds? Why?"

He shrugged.

"Hang on." She wandered over to the receptacle they'd decided upon as the "garbage". Rummaging, she soon pulled out two cores and made her way back, offering them to Prowl.

He accepted them with a nod of thanks, carefully cradling them in one hand. Then, he slipped away.

" ...Seen TV shows that show off really pretty dishes! " Bulkhead was saying. "Can you make anything like that?"

You laughed. "I wish. I'm lucky I can manage more than boiling water. No, you work years to make your food look like that. But it does look good."

"Makes me wish I could try it," Bulkhead admitted.

"Well, maybe we could figure out something with your kind of fuel?" you suggested.

"That could be intriguing," Optimus said. "A fusion of Earth and Cybertron culture. We should try it."

"First things first," you said. "Time to finish off this batch. Wanna help, Sari?"

Soon enough, they had several large jars of cooling applesauce.

Sari cheered, punching the air with one fist. "We did it!"

"Man, that was _ way _more involved than I thought it'd be," Bumblebee said. "So now you can eat all this whenever?"

You grinned. "Yep, thanks to you guys for the help... And for the apples in the first place!"

Bumblebee put his hands on his hips, looking pleased.

"This was very educational," Optimus said. He rubbed at his own chin. "A shame Ratchet and Prowl didn't join us. Perhaps next time."

You smiled. "Sure. I gotta head home, unfortunately."

"Already?" Sari whined.

You shot her a Look that made her think of a displeased older sibling. "It's late. You probably should be headed home.yourself, Sari."

Ugh. Why did you have to act all responsible and junk?

Oh. Right. Because Sari had hired you to.

“I can drop you both off,” Bumblebee said.

Sari wasn’t close enough to nudge him, so she made a point of clearing her throat. “A-_ hem _!” 

“What? I can go and--” Bumblebee paused. Blinked. Processed. Then, adopted a cheesy grin. “Uh, I mean, maybe I should go and drop Sari off first? ‘Cuz it’s late and whoo boy, gotta get her home.”

You blinked. “If it’s a problem dropping me off, I can just get to a bus stop or a train station and make my way from there. It’s not that bad--”

“Maybe _ someone else _ can drop you off, since Bumblebee is _ busy _,” Sari said, eyeing Bulkhead pointedly. 

_ Take the bait! Take it! _

You sighed. “I’d check my map app but, uh, y’know. I’m sure I can walk--”

“I can drop you off, if Bumblebee is for some reason unable,” Optimus said. He was staring at Sari with an intensity that made her want to squirm.

Something told her he would have questions when he got her alone next.

Sari smiled sheepishly at him. 

You, meanwhile, shook your head. “Are you sure? I’m honestly okay with--”

“I appreciate that. And perhaps we can set up a rotation so that it isn’t only Bumblebee who needs to drop you off and pick you up, given the… security measures we should be considering.” Optimus nodded toward you. “We can contact you each morning on that phone Sari gave you and let you know who to expect, and what alt form to look for.”

“Great,” you said.

Bumblebee, meanwhile, was starting to frown.

Sari didn’t get why. After all, this might not be the perfect scenario, but hey, a rotation meant you’d definitely have more chances to be alone with Bulkhead, right? Even if it was every few days. 

“Please keep the applesauce jars for tonight,” you were adding as you gathered your things. “Now that it’s all jarred, it’s safe and won’t go bad. I’ll start worrying about taking them tomorrow, once they’re all completely cool. This was fun.”

Bulkhead brightened. “Yeah! Maybe we can do more cooking?” He glanced at Optimus, who nodded.

“I don’t see why not. This definitely falls under ‘educational’.”

“Sure,” you said. “If you don’t mind, Optimus, I better get going. Sari, thank you again for the phone. I’ll see you tomorrow, right?”

“Yeah!” Sari said, grinning. “Feel free to call anybody on that. Anytime. Really.”

You didn’t seem to get it. “I’ll keep that in mind.” 

“See ya tomorrow, ‘Teach,” Bumblebee said, his voice somewhat subdued.

You waved at him. “See you soon.” With that, you and Optimus took off.

There was a beat.

“Want to tell me what that was all about?” Bulkhead asked. He was eyeing the both of them with suspicion. “Why suddenly reluctant to take teacher-lady home? Sari’s not in a rush.”

Sari and Bumblebee gave each other a Look. As much as both liked to be chatterboxes, on this they agreed: Bulkhead couldn’t know about The Plan. It was far too soon.

“Uhh. Right! Gotta get Sari home,” Bumblebee said, fidgeting. “Let’s go, Sari.”

“Right! It’s so late. Super duper late. And I’m super tired. Like, really tired.”

Bulkhead continued to level an unconvinced stare on them as the two skedaddled.


	9. Back to School

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get a call. Then you attempt this whole 'teaching' business for real.

The last day of work at your school was bound to be rough, so you’d told the ‘bots that you would not be joining them until the following Monday. Optimus was understanding.

“You do have a lot to prepare for us, I’m sure, especially now that you’ve gotten to know us better,” he told you.

Indeed. Popping over for an hour or two every night had been a great chance to learn more about how each ‘bot ticked. How Bulkhead and Bumblebee tended to gravitate toward wherever you (and Sari) were without any prompting, but how you had to actively seek out Prowl and Ratchet in their preferred environments. And how Ratchet would grumble, but didn’t protest your presence--instead, he would put you to work. Long as you were doing something “productive” in his eyes, he seemed happy to gab. Prowl, meanwhile, needed to be convinced that _ he _ was the one inviting _ you _in. 

And Optimus? He seemed to drift about at random. Sometimes he would stick close by, listening with great curiosity to whatever was going on. Other times, he seemed impossible to pin down.

With all that in mind, you spent that Friday night (and the rest of the weekend) preparing for your new job.

Friday and Saturday passed relatively quietly. You were able to go out, buy supplies, and get to work on some preliminary activities while also listening to various podcasts that might be of interest to the ‘bots. In the evenings, you wrote down a few artsy ideas the group might be keen on trying. You also had a list titled, “Outings?” with a few options for field trips written down.

Sunday night, you got an email.

Glancing at the subject, you rolled your eyes, picked up the phone Sari had given you, and dialled a number you knew by heart.

A minute later, you heard the telltale click of someone picking up.

“_Honey! There you are! _” 

“Hi, mom.” You put the phone on speaker and set it down so you could get back to organizing your materials.

“_You haven’t called in weeks, you know. I was hoping we’d at least get regular emails from you now that you’re settled in Detroit.” _

“Sorry, things got crazy at work and I lost track of time.”

She tsked. “_Teachers do have to work round the clock, but surely you’re not being given that many duties?” _

“More than I expected, actually. But it’s going good. I’m getting challenged in some neat ways. Y’know, students with unique needs and stuff.”

_ “So work’s going well? Have you had a chance to go out and meet anyone recently?” _

You rolled your eyes and closed the folder you’d just filled. “Beyond students, no, not really. I did say it’d probably be a few months before I had a proper friend group out here.”

_ “Well, don’t neglect that part of your life for your work. You know it’s important to go out and have some fun.” _

“I know.”

_ “Why don’t you ask some of your friends here to come visit you? I’m sure they’d jump at the chance.” _

“Maybe I’ll ask, but not until I get a better hold on this whole work thing.”

Your mother sighed. _ “Fine. At least promise me you’ll do _ something _ fun on your days off. And no, I don’t mean binge-watching the latest TV show at home!” _

Grinning, you scribbled down “TV shows” on another list of ideas. “Aw, but what if I bring friends over to watch it with?”

_ “Smart-aleck.” _ She laughed despite herself.

The two of you chatted a while longer. By the time you finished hearing about all of the family updates, you felt something in you relax. You hadn’t even realized how tense you were feeling until you talked to someone who was outside the situation.

“Hey, mom?” You picked up the phone, switching off the speaker mode. “Thank you for emailing me. I guess I was feeling more stressed than I realized. Talking has really helped.”

“_Even though I’m the one doing most of the talking?” _

You chuckled. “You know what I mean.”

_ “Yes, I do. And you’re welcome. Please remember what I said about relaxing. And hey, maybe drop your family a line once in a while.” _

“I got it. I will. Promise. Love you.”

After saying your goodbyes, you hung up and stared contemplatively at the pile of materials you had assembled over the weekend. Setting your phone down, you stretched your arms high over your head, long and hard enough that you felt like a limp noodle when you dropped out of the stretch.

Then, you got up to treat yourself to a bath.

Tomorrow was Phonics, Day 1, and you had a feeling you’d need to be as relaxed as possible before everything happened.

~*~

Day 1 was a rough ride.

Teaching a group of kids who had never before learned an alphabet was one thing. “Teaching” a group of fellow future teachers pretending to be your students was another thing.

Attempting to teach a group of giant robots who may or may not be older than you and may or may not already know several languages was a horse of an entirely different color.

Bumblebee spent the entire time trying to distract you with off-topic questions, posing with the giant phonics cards you’d provided them, and inviting you to play games or watch movies. Ratchet simply stared you down, which made you wilt when you thought too much on it. Prowl, while polite, had to be prompted to respond the way you wanted him to.

Optimus and Bulkhead were the two star students, and bless them for trying to follow what you were doing.

But by the end of the hour-long period you’d set up for phonics, you were ready for coffee, a long stress-walk, and a venting session with your mother.

“Let’s… stop there,” you said with a sigh. Sweat made your shirt cling to your back, and you hoped you didn’t look as flustered as you felt. “Half hour break. After that, Optimus, let’s start with your one-on-one lesson, followed by the order we agreed on.”

Everyone agreed, some with more relief on their faces than others.

You wished Sari were there to help relieve some of the tension.

As the group broke, you began to gather up the materials you’d created. The giant phonics cards were the size of large posters for you, to make them all the easier for the Autobots to handle. You rolled them up and closed up your laptop.

“Phew,” you heard Bumblebee say, followed by a thud.

You glanced up to see that he had sprawled on the couch, not far from where you’d held your first lesson of the day. “Don’t tell me you’re already worn out,” you said, adopting a faint smile.

He held up one hand in a so-so gesture. “Reading in an alien language is pretty weird for my processor.”

“That different from reading your own language?”

“It’s not that.” He shrugged. “Not a huge reader in Cybertronian, either.”

“Been meaning to ask that. What’s Cybertronian even sound like? You guys speak English so well I’m tempted to think that’s your native language.”

He snorted. “Pfft.” He rolled over onto his side to face you, looking amused. He parted his lips, and… 

It was hard to describe the sound that came out, but it was definitely not anything an Earthling would or could say.

That must have shown on your face, because Bumblebee broke down in snickers, dropping his face down onto one arm in a half-hearted attempt to hide it.

“Oh, man! Your _ face _!”

“Hey, wait! What did you say?” you asked, leaning forward.

“I just said ‘hi, welcome to Earth’.” He lifted his head and spoke again, this time an amused smirk on his face.

You quirked an eyebrow. “And that?”

“I said, ‘you can’t understand this, can you’?” He spoke a third time, the smirk getting bigger.

You offered a flat stare. “You’re swearing at me, aren’t you.”

He immediately looked affronted, resting a hand on the front of his chest. “What? _ Me _? Would I do that do you?”

“Considering you’re the ‘bot who wanted swearing lessons? Yeah, you totally would.”

He chuckled, dropping his hand. “Speaking of, y’know, Sari’s not around…”

You raised an eyebrow. “Uh huh.”

“Aaand I’m _ still _not entirely sure about that whole ‘ass’ usage thing.”

“Oh my god.”

“C’mooon, this is Earth culture stuff!” he whined. “Super important! Totally relevant!”

You shook your head. “How about you ask me that when it’s our turn to do the one-on-one lesson thing?”

He brightened. “For real?”

“Yes, for real. I am here to help you with that stuff, after all.”

“_ Yes _!” he cheered, punching his fist in the air much like Sari tended to. Then, he sat up. “Meanwhile, how about that video game?”

You were tempted. Glancing at the television, you bit your lower lip and thought about it.

“C’mon,” he wheedled. “You can’t tell me that wasn’t really tiring for you too. Take a load off!”

Struggling with yourself, you eventually offered him a grin and shook your head. “I’d love to, Bumblebee, but… I don’t think that’s a good idea when I’m on the clock. But,” you added as his shoulders slumped, “ask me again after I finish for the day. It’ll give me something to look forward to.”

He quirked a faint grin at that. “Oh, all right. Be responsible. Mind if I go ahead then?”

“Not at all. It’s your house.”

Bumblebee proceeded to get a racing game started up. You, meanwhile, prepped for the rest of your day.

The day allowed for the ‘bots to fulfill whatever duties they needed, while also meeting with you privately for whatever they wanted to go over. Optimus was first, and to your surprise he mostly peppered you with questions about yourself and your life. It wasn’t unpleasant, but you didn’t get any better ideas on what he wanted from you.

Next was Prowl, who was as polite but dismissive as he’d been in the morning.

Ratchet came next, and you found yourself helping him in the medbay more than actually teaching.

Bulkhead was everything you hoped he’d be in a student: he brought you to his art room, sat in front of a canvas, and listened as you tried to help him figure out how to do shading on a still life. Much awkward googling on your brand new flip phone occurred as you tried to find advice that would help him accomplish what he wanted.

Then there came Bumblebee, who wanted to learn how to swear.

It was ridiculous how embarrassed you were about teaching him cursing in English. You felt your face heating up as the both of you explored possible English translations for the word ‘slag’ (crap?) or helped him make his sentences sound natural. It was also _ really _ funny how seriously he was taking it. Hey, at least it was making you laugh.

By the end of the day, though, you felt defeated, hopeful, torn, regretful, and ready to flop face-first into a pillow. Pretty much the same emotions you’d felt a few weeks ago when you first stepped into Ms. Harrington’s classroom.

You were gathering your things--Bulkhead was apparently going to be driving you home today--when you felt something heavy getting settled on your head. You reached up and your hand met glass. Confused, you lifted both hands to remove it from your head, and realized it was one of the jars of applesauce, and Bumblebee had been the one to set it there.

“Didn’t see you eat lunch,” he said, a little accusingly. “Make sure you fuel up tonight.”

Smiling, you hugged the jar to yourself. “I will. Sorry, bad habit I sometimes fall into.”

“Well, don’t. Tell us if you need a break. Otherwise I’m kidnapping you and making you play video games in the middle of the day, got it?”

The threat made you laugh, albeit weakly. “Got it.”

“And hey, speaking of games--”

The two of you were interrupted by Bulkhead lumbering up. “Bumblebee, Prowl’s back. You’re up.”

Bumblebee let out a sigh of exasperation. “_ Really _, mech? I was just about to pop in a game.”

“You know what today’s schedule was like, little buddy. Teacher-lady, you going to hang around a bit, or…?”

You sighed. “As much as I’d like to, I’m pretty tired. Can we put a raincheck on that game, Bumblebee?”

He looked like he was getting ready to pout. “I guess. Lame. I was really looking forward to that.”

You thought about patting him in consolation. You’d seen Sari do that a few times. But after a moment, you just smiled at him. “I know, me too. But tomorrow?”

“Yeah! For sure.” He gave you a thumbs up. “I’ll hold ya to that, ‘Teach. Bulkhead, you know the address?”

“Of course I do,” Bulkhead said. “The street’s a bit narrow, so we’re going to go nice and slow.”

Bumblebee snickered. “Nice and slow. Yeah. Good plan.” Bulkhead glared, and Bumblebee gave a playful salute toward you. “See ya tomorrow, ‘Teach. Make sure Bulkhead goes _ nice and slow _.”

Why did that sentence make you blush?

Bulkhead swiped one massive hand at Bumblebee. “Get outta here,” he growled, without any heat.

Bumblebee laughed, dancing easily out of the way, then winked at you before transforming. A minute later, he was zooming out of the base.

You looked over at Bulkhead, who was watching his friend with an odd expression on his face. “You, uh, okay?” you asked.

He shook himself, peering down at you. “Huh? Oh yeah, everything’s fine. Wanna head out now, teacher-lady?”

“Sounds good.”

He transformed, his door popping open, and you took a minute clambering up into it. Then, once you and your things were situated, you both took off.

“So how was your first day?” he asked as he headed out onto the highway.

You sighed. “I dunno. You tell me.”

“I thought you did good! It was interesting trying to match those sounds to those letters. There are some really weird combinations.”

“Bumblebee said it was hard on his processor.”

Bulkhead snorted. “Don’t get me wrong. He’s like a brother to me. But he’s not the best of students.”

You let out a snicker despite yourself. “You got that right. Man, was he always the class clown?”

“...I’m not saying it was right of him to act up, but.” He hesitated. “...It’s actually kind of a compliment toward you, if you think about it.”

The seriousness of his tone brought you up short, and you shifted in your seat. “What do you mean?”

“We went to boot camp together. For different purposes, but the end result was… well. It wasn’t the best experience for either of us.”

“How so?”

Bulkhead sighed. “I don’t want to get into the details, but our trainer was a bully. And so were most of the other people we had to deal with on a daily basis. We didn’t dare act up at _ all _, because even one mistake--however accidental--meant hell.”

“Yikes.” You winced. “I mean, we’ve got boot camp on Earth for the army and stuff, and I’ve heard similar stories like that. That must have been hard for you guys.”

“It wasn’t a good time.” He paused. “But it’s been a while since then. I think Bumblebee doesn’t like talking or thinking about it, even though some good came out of it. After all, we became friends ‘cuz of it. But the fact that he’s comfortable enough to mess around is _ kind _of a good sign.” He pausd, the lights on his dash flickering briefly. “But don’t be afraid to call him on it, teacher-lady. In fact… if anyone gives you trouble, you should speak up about it.”

You nodded. “I will, I promise.”

That seemed to satisfy him.

The rest of the trip home was silent. Bulkhead was even more of a cautious driver than Prowl or Optimus--possibly due to his size--and soon you were lulled half-asleep by the movement of the vehicle. 

When he pulled in front of your apartment building, you managed a sleepy “good night” before stumbling up to your own place. You heard his engine only when your door closed behind yourself.

You stared at your bedroom door.

Then, reluctantly, you shuffled into the kitchen to make coffee instead.

You had work to do.

~*~

“Sooo, how did it gooo?” Sari asked, as Bulkhead walked back into base.

The kid was in Bumblebee’s usual spot, a movie loaded up on the television screen. She had twisted around to shoot Bulkhead an expectant look.

He shrugged. “Not bad for a first day,” he said.

The expectant look changed into an impatient one. “No, no, the drive home! How did it go?”

Bulkhead blinked. “Uhhh, smoothly? She was pretty tired, so it’s a good thing I had the address beforehand.”

Sari let out a loud sigh. 

“Am I missing something?”

“No! Just... forget it. There’s always next time.” She turned back to face the television.

Scratching at his own head, Bulkhead made his way toward his room.

“Hey, Bulkhead?” Sari called after him.

He paused. “Yeah?”

“You like the teacher, right?”

Bulkhead turned to offer her a reassuring look. “‘Course I do. You chose a good egg, Sari. We’ll all learn a lot from her.”

She looked disappointed more than reassured. “Oh. Okay.”

Mentally shrugging, he resumed the walk back to his room. 

He’d known that Bumblebee and Sari had decided something for the poor teacher-lady, but he hadn’t fully realized until tonight that he was also being focused on. Whatever it was, he decided, he’d tread with caution. He didn’t think either of them meant any harm by their shenanigans, but he wasn’t going to play along, either.

He just had to figure out what their “plan” _ was _.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reader, for real what are you doing? Bumblebee wants to spend time with you and you just... go be responsible? Who DOES that?


	10. I Don't Think You're Getting It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How would YOU explain Earth dating culture to a cute alien?

Slowly, life fell into a new routine that almost felt normal.

You’d wake up, get dressed, and get picked up by one of the Autobots and driven to their base. There, you’d spend the day working with them. By 5 o’clock, you’d wrap up. Sometimes you stuck around to play video games or watch a movie (or play with Sari). Other times, you’d crawl into whatever alt mode was waiting for you and get taken home to rest.

The Autobots seemed to be warming to your presence. Optimus greeted you with a smile every day, and Prowl was slowly coming out of his self-imposed shell. Ratchet began to trust you with more of the equipment around medbay, teaching you more than you taught him. Bulkhead made progress on his art. And Bumblebee, well.

He was starting to confuse you.

He was definitely keeping up the class clown act, but since there was no malice behind it you couldn’t find it in yourself to be truly upset at him. But that wasn’t the problem. The problem was, well, how often he was talking about Bulkhead.

Of course, you were happy to learn more information about the Autobots in general. Now that you were working with them, you’d started catching up on local news and had the humans’ take on the situation. The ‘bots were lauded (mostly) as heroes of Detroit, fighting off bad guys big and small using their powers. Their ‘powers’ being interpreted as anything from “can change into any form they like” (“Only if we can scan and integrate it without changing our own structural integrity,” Ratchet had sniffed) to “driving the local police force up the wall” (“True,” Sari said sheepishly).

But Bumblebee was intent on telling you all about his best friend, all the while giving you meaningful looks as though he expected you to know what was going on.

Bulkhead’s favorite form of energon. His snoring. His favorite Earth artist.

You gently tried steering the conversation back to the other ‘bots, and Bumblebee would follow along happily enough... But eventually would go back to talking about Bulkhead.

You were honestly starting to wonder.

It was getting cold outside, and the base wasn’t much better inside. You’d quickly learned to wear extra layers to stay warm, but your breath was coming out in soft puffs if you went anywhere beyond the television. Sari being unbothered by the cold made you envious; you remembered being a kid yourself and refusing to wear coats, so it didn’t surprise you she tried to run around in her regular dress without extra protection.

Didn’t mean you didn’t make her at least wear a coat, anyway, even if she refused to zip it.

You were sipping tea from a thermos you’d brought when Bumblebee rolled up in his alt mode. “Phew! Did I make it, ‘Teach?”

You glanced up from the television, smiling. “Yep, with two minutes to spare.”

“Sweet!” he cheered, and shifted back into his humanoid form. He then sat on the floor next to you without any preamble. “So we can hang out until we have to start.”

“Sure. How was patrol?”

“Eh, same as usual. Nothing too weird out there. Maybe the bad guys are in, uh, what’chacallit.”

“Stasis?” you offered.

“No, no,” he said, waving a hand. “That Earth word. The one where you sleep all winter.”

“Hibernation,” Prowl supplied from his door.

“That’s it!” Bumblebee snapped his fingers. “Maybe they’re doing that.”

“Is that something Cybertronians do?” you asked curiously, cupping your hands around the opening of your thermos.

“Not particularly,” Prowl said. “I assume it’s my watch, then, Bumblebee?”

“Yeah, it’s all you.”

Prowl shrugged, offered you a polite nod, then took off.

You watched him go. “I don’t think I’ll ever figure that guy out.”

“He keeps to himself, that’s for sure. He giving you trouble?”

You reached over to give Bumblebee’s leg a gentle shove. It didn’t budge one whit, of course, but he chuckled at the contact. “_ You’re _ the one who gives me the most trouble,” you told him, smiling to take the sting out of your words.

“What? Just ‘cuz I have suggestions to make reading more interesting?”

You rolled your eyes. “Let’s not get into it. You ready to start?”

“Yeah! I actually got a question for you today.” He leaned forward, his head dropping to be closer to your own level. Given you were sitting down, he still towered over you but you appreciated the gesture nonetheless.

Closing up your thermos, you set it down next to yourself. “Hit me.”

He blinked. Then he looked concerned. “Uh, is that another kind of Earth slang?”

Oh. “Yeah, it means, ‘tell me’ or ‘go ahead’.” You flapped a hand in the air. “I don’t _ actually _ want you to hit me, that’d end up... Bad.”

“Er, yeah.” Relief flickered over his face. Then, he assumed a more serious expression. “Right. So. Earth customs.”

“Yeah?”

“Tell me about Earth dating.”

You blinked. Felt your face go molten.

“_ Excuse _ me?” you squeaked.

You saw him blink, and his faceplate go a bit pink. He leaned back a little, averting his optics. “I want to know about it. ‘Cuz like, on TV there’s a lot of stuff everybody takes for granted, but Sari says it’s exaggerated. She can’t tell me any details since she’s never been on a date or anything. So I thought you could help me out.”

You fumbled with your words for a second. Then, in an attempt to stall, you asked, “Why do you want to know?”

“I just do!” he said. You heard that “_pssh_!” sound he made when he was flustered. “Can you help me out or not?”

You glanced around the base, taking stock of things.

Bulkhead was likely still in his room, working on the assignment you’d given him. Prowl was on patrol. Ratchet was in medbay. Optimus was… somewhere. Sari hadn’t shown up yet.

“Okay. Yeah,” you said at length. “But!” You held up your index finger for emphasis. “There are some things I might not be able to answer or don’t want to answer, if it gets too personal. And I might have questions of my own.”

He brightened. “Frag yeah! Let’s talk this stuff out. So.” He rested his chin on one hand, focusing his attention entirely on you. “Dating. How does that _ work _ on this planet?”

“What have you seen on TV?” you asked wryly. “That can help me figure out what you already know, or think you know.”

He shrugged. “Lots of flowers?”

“That’s a pretty classic gift.” You hoped your blush wasn’t as obvious as it felt.

He nodded. “Why are the flowers almost always red?”

“They’re roses,” you said. “They’re the usual flower we use for passion or romance.”

“So, like, you can’t give anyone anything else? No yellow flowers or blue flowers or anything?”

Shaking your head, you said, “You can give whatever flowers you want. They have shops purely for making bouquets. There’s a bunch of combinations you can do, depending on the message you wanna send.” Helplessly, you shrugged. “There’s a whole language with flowers, but I’m not, uh, fluent in flowers.”

He furrowed his brow. “Ugh. Yeah, I already had to download English, I don’t wanna deal with a whole other language, too.”

“Then, if you end up dating on Earth--” _ Why did you say that what is wrong with you _ “--just go with whatever color seems to work for you both, I guess.” You cleared your throat. “What else?”

He tilted his head, his optics going unfocused as he thought. “Uh, I guess the kissing?”

...Oh wow, was it hot in here or was it just you?

“What _ about _the kissing?” you asked.

He blinked, optics refocusing on you. “Well. Y’know.” He made that “_ pssssh” _ sound again as he lifted his free hand to gesture with. “It’s like, the major way all the movies end. Guy gets girl--or whoever--and they smooch. Roll credits.”

“Is that not how entertainment media goes on Cybertron?” you asked, despite yourself.

“I mean it _ can _, but…” He let out a frustrated sound. “Hang on. I’m not askin’ this clearly.” He leaned back, folding his arms over his front. “There’s like, rules about kissing, aren’t there? I mean, we have ‘em too.”

You nodded slowly. “I mean, everyone’s got their own boundaries, but--”

“Gotta wonder what kind of lessons you’re giving this boy,” Ratchet said from behind you, making you jump.

You scooted around to see he was giving both of you one of his unreadable Looks.

“He asked!” you said defensively. “It _ is _ something pretty common on Earth.”

He grunted. “Relax, kid, I’m not the one poking fun at you. Bumblebee, you done teasing her?”

“I’m not teasing!” Bumblebee protested. “I legit want to know what it’s all about.” He gestured toward the television. “I mean we’ve all seen stuff on TV. Like, the super deep kissing that goes beyond the lips.”

You shook your head, raising your hands to make the universal “stop” sign with them. “Nope, not getting into details about that. You do your own research about French kissing.”

He blinked. “It’s French? So Americans don’t do it?”

“That’s not… that’s just the _ name _ of it.” You took in a breath, then let it out. “Anyway. You can look that up yourself. I’m not giving you step-by-steps about making out with humans. Besides, that’s super different from person to person anyway.”

“Oh, all _ right _.” He settled back into place. “Then, walk me through the usual process of dating someone on Earth. For example, why is the third date so important?”

You glanced up at Ratchet for help. Ratchet, walking by, reached out to gently cuff Bumblebee on the head. “Quit makin’ the kid so uncomfortable.”

“I’m not!” Bumblebee paused, then glanced at you. “Am I?”

You flashed Ratchet a grateful smile, then returned your attention to Bumblebee. “You’re kind of jumping all over the place with your questions, and I don’t really know what you want me to tell you. How about I just… walk you through a simple explanation and you ask questions after?”

Bumblebee rubbed at his head where Ratchet had hit him. “Sure!”

Feeling like you had a bit more control over the situation, you thought it over for a moment before speaking.

“Just keep in mind this is specifically for the US, okay? If you end up getting interested in someone in like, Japan or Peru or wherever, different rules apply.”

“Man,” Bumblebee groaned. “Okay, hit me.”

You flashed him an amused smile. Then, you began. “If you’re interested in someone, you can invite them out somewhere, just the two of you.” You picked up your thermos for emphasis. “Like a coffee date or lunch. That way, if it doesn’t go well, you can just pass it off as a hangout rather than a date.” Setting the thermos down, you gestured with both hands. “If it goes well, you might progress to longer activities, including dinner, seeing a movie, or whatever things you guys might like to do together.” You glanced up to see if he was following. 

You’d never seen him look so attentive.

Encouraged, you continued. “Sometimes people give gifts, but you don’t want to pressure the other person too much so it’s not a guaranteed requirement. The third date is played up so much--especially in media--because by that point, you should be feeling something. Like a spark.”

You heard movement, and glanced up to see Ratchet had turned to watch you again. Huh. Guess this topic was of more interest than even he was letting on.

Pretending you hadn’t noticed, you kept talking. “If you’re feeling some kind of chemistry, you let the other person know, and you can progress from there. If you’re not really feeling it, that’s a good time to call the dating thing off, before the other person gets too invested. You don’t want to hurt each other’s feelings, after all.” 

You waited for him to nod before you went on. “Generally speaking, if you’re not serious yet then it’s up to you if you feel comfortable dating multiple people at the same time. But once you guys agree to get serious, you generally narrow it down to just them... Or them, and whoever else you both agree on as ‘okay’.”

“‘Kay,” Bumblebee said. “With you so far.”

“Any questions?”

Bumblebee looked thoughtful. “...How come there’s that thing in movies, where the guy stands outside the girls’ house and throws rocks at her window? Or plays music super loudly?”

“Oh man, _ please _ don’t do that if you start seeing someone on Earth,” you said with a chuckle. “It’s played off as ‘romantic’ in those movies, but it really just comes across as stalkery.” You paused, tilting your head in thought. “Plus, you’d be bothering the neighbors, especially if it’s late at night.”

He was silent for a moment, likely processing your words. “Huh. So, how do you show you’re interested, besides inviting someone out for those ‘outings’ you mentioned? I mean, surely you drop hints or something first, right?”

“Well, sure.” You shrugged, averting your gaze. “It’s all up to what you do. Some people come up with every excuse to make contact--not like, in a creepy way, but like touching your arm or something.” You rubbed at your own arms at that. “Others laugh more at your jokes. Or go out of their way to try to spend time with you.”

You thought you heard Ratchet snort, so you glanced over at him. He was wandering back your way, with a can of oil in his hand. He was watching the two of you again, with most of his focus on Bumblebee.

When he didn’t say anything, you turned back to Bumblebee, who was still watching you expectantly. “And uh, compliments. Lots of compliments,” you added. 

He nodded. “Compliments. Got it. Anything else? Like, dos or don’ts for dating?”

“Well…”

The conversation drifted into slightly more comfortable territory as you went over some basic ‘rules’ for dating. Things like not staring at your phone during the entirety of the date, how not to be creepy, that sort of thing. Bumblebee ate it all up and treated it as seriously as a life or death situation. Ratchet, while generally silent, stayed in the room and watched. Once in a while he’d let out a soft, “Heh,” but wouldn’t comment on what was funny.

At last, your timer went off, startling both you and Bumblebee. He blinked, as though coming out of a daze while you turned off the timer on your phone.

“That’s it for today,” you said, getting to your feet. “I need to head home. I’ve got some food I need to cook up before it goes bad.”

“You oughtta bring that stuff here and cook it! Give us another lesson,” Bumblebee said, watching you as you began to gather up your things.

You shrugged with one shoulder. “I imagine you guys are getting enough lessons from me already.”

“Not even. So, uh, thanks.” He let out a sigh. “And… ‘Teach?”

The somewhat guilty tone of voice made you turn to see he was giving you his best impression of puppy dog eyes a robot could. “Yeah?” you asked.

“Sorry if that made you uncomfortable.”

“No!” you said, holding up a hand and shaking your head. “I just kind of wish I had time to ask more of my own questions.” You glanced between the two. “The way you asked made me realize things must be very different on Cybertron.”

“Not as different as you’d expect,” Ratchet grunted. “Bumblebee’s just not super experienced.”

“Hey!” Bumblebee stuck out his tongue at Ratchet. “Don’t go blabbin’ about my _ experience _! You don’t even know that about me.”

You smirked to yourself as the two bickered. It gave you an opportunity to pack, at least. By the time you finished, you realized why Ratchet had been hanging around.

“Your turn to take me home?” you asked him.

He offered a short nod. “Ready?”

“Yep.”

“Bye, ‘Teach,” Bumblebee said cheerfully. “I’ll make sure to pass on what I’ve learned to, uh, the appropriate parties.” He made a show of winking at you.

“Uh. Good? Okay,” you said, not sure what he was trying to convey.

“And y’know, if you have _ questions _, you can always ask me. Or Bulkhead!”

There was that namedropping again.

“I’ll think about it,” was all you said in answer.

“Let’s hustle,” Ratchet said, before transforming.

You obediently slipped in, and you took off.

You rubbed at your chin as Ratchet took you out onto the highway. “Hey, Ratchet, do you ever worry about Bumblebee?”

“All the fraggin’ time. Idiot kid,” Ratchet grumbled.

“I mean, I think he’s really going about this all the wrong way, don’t you?”

“Pfah, you’re askin’ _ me _. Directness is the best way to go.”

“Right?” Encouraged you were on the same page, you nodded, peering out the window. “I mean, how’s Bulkhead going to react to all this? They’re best friends, but…”

“Bulkhead’s clueless at the best of times.”

“Yeah, but if Bumblebee starts flirting at him like a human would…”

Ratchet let out several seconds of static.

Followed by a weak, “_ What _?”

You paused, frowning at the dashboard. “He’s been talking about Bulkhead nonstop,” you explained. “And now he’s asking advice about dating? I mean, it’s clear he’s got a thing for his friend. It’s sweet, but I don’t think he’s going about it the right way.”

Not to mention the thought of Bumblebee flirting at Bulkhead made your heart feel funny.

“K-kid… you…” More static followed. “I _really_ _doubt_ that’s what’s goin’ on.”

“Really? What do _ you _ think is happening?”

He was silent for a moment. Then, “I’m keepin’ out of it. If you want to know, you ask Bumblebee yourself. Like I said. Deal with this slag directly.”

“I would, but I don’t want to step on any toes. Or embarrass him about it.”

“Why not? He embarrassed you enough.”

That was true, you had to admit.

You thought about that all the way to your apartment.

~*~

“Any luck?” Sari asked, dropping her voice to a whisper.

“Nothing!” Bumblebee complained. His shoulders slumped. “I’ve been dropping hints like nobody’s business, but she’s not getting it.”

“Ugh!” Sari flung her hands up in the air. “Even when you asked about dating on Earth?”

“I mean.” He cocked his head, scratching at the back of it. “‘Teach got kinda blushy at that.” That had done funny things to his spark again, bringing a pleasant sort of sensation about that made him want to see it again. “And she said she wanted to ask about customs on Cybertron, but that’s it.”

“Oh my god, this is taking _ forever _,” Sari groaned. She flopped onto the couch dramatically. “Why can’t we just lock ‘em in a room until someone says something?”

“Lock who in a what now?” Bulkhead asked.

Sari sat up ramrod straight, while Bumblebee jerked in surprise. “Nothing!” both yelped. 

Bulkhead furrowed his brow.

Bumblebee adopted as innocent a smile as he could muster.

“You guys have been actin’ weird for a while now." Bulkhead glanced between them. "Whatever you’re planning? Knock it off already.”

“But Bulkhead, it’s for the greater good!” Sari protested.

“Considering it’s you two comin’ up with this? I kinda doubt that,” Bulkhead said. “Seriously, don’t scare off the teacher-lady with your pranks.”

“It’s not a _ prank _ , we’re _ helping _,” Bumblebee grumbled. “Or at least, we’re trying to, but she’s just not taking the hint.”

“Helping? What are you helping the instructor with?” Optimus asked.

Now it was Bumblebee’s turn to sit up ramrod-straight. “Nothing!” he yelped.

“They’re planning a prank on the teacher-lady,” Bulkhead informed their leader.

“Is that so? I hope it’s nothing too ridiculous,” Optimus said with a sigh. He reached up to cradle his head in one servo. “We only just got her used to us, after all. Though I think she’s still a bit nervous.”

“That’s more because of the job than because of us, at this point,” Prowl pointed out as he walked in. 

“‘Teach isn’t nervous around _ me _,” Bumblebee bragged.

“You’re too kiddish to intimidate anyone,” Prowl told him.

Bumblebee’s smug expression dropped into an irritated frown. “Don’t you have a room you can go lurk in, instead of bugging the rest of us?”

“Still,” Optimus said, as though no one had said anything. “I wish there was a way for her to understand that this means a bit more to us than she seems to realize. Positive instruction from a human like this has given me more insight on Earth in two weeks than I’ve gotten since I landed on this planet.”

“Hey! I’ve helped you a bunch!” Sari said.

Optimus held up his servos in defense. “No offense intended, of course, Sari. But you tend to help us more with our scuffles, if anything.”

Sari crossed her arms and huffed.

Optimus was about to say more, but cut himself off. “You hear those emergency vehicles?” He took a moment to listen intently, his expression falling into a scowl. “Sari, can you turn on the TV?”

She blinked up at him, but obeyed, reaching for the remote. 

A moment later, they were watching a local news station. There was a sudden fire happening at a downtown convenience store, and while they didn’t immediately see anything suspicious around the scene…

“We should check this out,” Optimus said.

The group shared a look.

“Transform and roll out.”


	11. Pick-me-up lines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You meet Captain Fanzone. Then you exchange facts about Earth culture with Bumblebee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you yell "I don't want to date a robot" loud enough and often enough, does it become true? Asking for a friend.

“What  _ happened _ ?” you exclaimed.

You were in medbay, holding that damned light for Ratchet the moment you got in to “work” the next morning. Ratchet was bent over Bulkhead, who was trying very hard to offer you a devil-may-care smile without grimacing.

“Mornin’, teacher-lady.”

“Yeah, hi. What happened?” you demanded of Ratchet.

“You wanna tell ‘er, or should I?” Ratchet grunted. You couldn’t see around his body, but you could hear him working away at what had been a huge dent in Bulkhead’s side.

Bulkhead shook his head. “It’s nothing serious,” he reassured you. “We just had to deal with some jerks last night after you left.”

“Real pieces a’ work,” Ratchet grumbled. “Didn’t help they got their hands on some stuff no Earthling has any reason t’ have.”

“What was that?”

“Not worth gettin’ into, missy. Hold that a little higher.”

You went on your tippy-toes. “Is everyone else messed up, too?”

“Oh, no, just this big lughead.”

“Bulkhead,” the bigger ‘bot corrected his teammate.

While you couldn’t see Ratchet’s face, you knew that he was glaring purely because of the way Bulkhead flinched.

“They’re just in stasis recovering,” Ratchet continued, as if nothing had happened. “Lessons prolly won’t be happenin’ today.”

“I can understand that,” you said with a nod. “I’m happy to help since I’m here anyway.”

“Don’t tell him that,” Bulkhead warned you. “Ratchet will make you work all day.”

You shrugged. “That’s why I’m here, isn’t it? To work?”

You weren’t certain, but you thought you caught a hint of a smile on Ratchet’s face as he turned to pick up another tool. “You’re lucky this one didn’t hit anything integral,” he told Bulkhead, rather than responding to you.

Bulkhead sighed. “I know, Docbot. But it was either going to be hitting me, or smashing Bumblebee into a pancake.”

“Yes, yes, we were there, we saw it. Well, most of us.”

You bit your lip. As much as you wanted to ask what was going on, you weren’t sure you were allowed to.

So instead, you did what Ratchet told you; hold the light, move smaller tools in range (or out of reach when things got too cluttered), distract Bulkhead with chatter, all of that.

Your arms were beginning to shake with the strain of holding something heavy over your head for an extended period when Ratchet finally grunted. “That’ll do.”

Letting out a sigh of relief, you set the light down and rubbed at your own upper arms, suppressing a wince.

Bulkhead, meanwhile, got up from the table. “Thanks, Docbot.”

“Try  _ blocking _ the next time someone punches you,” Ratchet muttered.

Rather than taking offense, Bulkhead looked up at you. You quickly dropped your hands as he said, “You want a hand down, teacher-lady?”

“Uh, sure, if that’s not too much trouble.”

Bulkhead beamed, and held up a hand to you.

Struck by how huge it was, you carefully climbed onto that outstretched hand.

He waited patiently for you to get settled. “You want a ride to the couch?”

You shrugged. “If you’re going to give me a free ride, I won’t complain.”

He chuckled. “Don’t think I haven’t seen how much running you do in a day around here.”

“Hey, it’s not that bad. It’s just five steps to Bumblebee’s one, and maybe ten steps for you,” you teased.

He shook his head. “You should just tell us to slow down, teacher-lady.”

“No need. It’s good exercise and it’s kind of silly to expect you to slow down for me. I’m the one working for you, after all.”

“You work for Sumdac,” Ratchet corrected you. “And not that that matters, particularly. You get yourself injured or sick racin’ about like that, and you’ll have to answer to me.”

You turned to see that he was staring in your direction. You smiled sheepishly. “Got it.”

“It means he likes you,” Bulkhead said to you in a stage-whisper.

“Get out of my medical bay,” Ratchet growled.

You suppressed a laugh. Bulkhead didn’t bother; he just chuckled as he carried you out and back to the main area of the base. 

“He does, though,” Bulkhead said, as he carried you out of Ratchet’s earshot. “Once he starts fussin’ about your health, you’re good in his books.”

It was hard to suppress a smile at that. “Really?”

“Yeah. I mean, you’re good in all our books at this point, I think.”

“I’m glad.” 

Bulkhead carefully set you down on the sofa. You climbed off with a muttered thanks. Once you were standing on the couch, he peered down at you. “I gotta go on patrol. You good here for a while?”

You nodded. “I’ll do some prep work. I’ll be around for my regular hours, so don’t worry about me. I brought a lunch and everything.”

“All right. You get bored, you use that phone thingy.” 

You offered a thumbs up. Satisfied, Bulkhead took off.

You reached into your bag to pull out your laptop, and settled into the cushions usually reserved for Sari. Once your laptop booted up, you brought up a few documents and got to work.

The next hour or so passed quietly. You got some work done, drank some coffee from your thermos, and took a break to check your social media. It was weird not to do that from your phone, but given the flip phone’s tech only extended to opening a web browser rather than proper apps, you were more inclined to make use of the bigger screen of your laptop. Hey, at least tethering was a thing. And it wasn’t like you seemed to have to pay the bill for the phone, anyhow...

The coffee was long gone by the time you felt like you were being watched.

Glancing behind yourself, you saw Prowl observing you. You offered a faint smile.

“Good morning, Prowl. I heard you all had a rough night. Feeling all right?”

“Just fine,” he said. “I apologize but we don’t be joining you for lessons today.”

You lifted a hand to wave it in dismissal. “Bulkhead told me. I’m just doing some preparation. If you need me to move, let me know--”

Prowl shook his head. “You misunderstand. I assumed you might want to head home since we won’t be in any condition to study today.” He dropped his arms, which he’d had crossed over his chest.

“Oh! I mean, at this point I’d like to stick around, if that’s okay. It helps me stay in a working mindset.” You hesitated. “That, and I’m a little worried about you guys.”

He hummed noncommittally, and you assumed that was the end of the conversation, so you went back to squinting at your laptop. A moment later, you felt the concrete under you shake, and glanced over to see he’d joined you on the sofa, sitting in the same spot he had when you’d woken up there.

“This is a regular occurrence for us,” he said at length. He wasn’t looking at you; instead, he was gazing at the television, though you knew he wasn’t actually looking at it, either. “We get through these scraps. You should have seen us when we first landed on Earth. It was… not a pretty sight.”

“How do you mean?”

He glanced at you, then averted his gaze again. “Let’s just say we didn’t see optic to optic back then. We’re better now, especially thanks to Sari’s help.” 

You nodded. “She does have a habit of worming into your heart, doesn’t she? ...Or spark, I suppose, in your case.”

Prowl nodded.

Again, there was a long silence. 

By this point, you’d learned that silence from Prowl didn’t mean disapproval or a lack of interest in conversation. He was simply processing, either what had been said, or what he wanted to say next. So you let him do his thing, and typed out a couple bullet points on your current project while you waited. 

“The danger doesn’t bother you?” he asked at last.

You shrugged. “I would be surprised if you  _ didn’t  _ attract unwanted attention, frankly, given how different you guys are from Earthlings.” You closed your laptop and shifted your position on the sofa. Cushions or not, that sofa wasn’t the comfiest thing to spend a long time on. “I worry, of course, but I know you’re capable of handling it. I’ve looked into your past heroics since you arrived on Earth.”

He let out a soft, “Pfah,” at that. “Heroics.” He looked over at you again. “Did you know that we were bottom-of-the-scrap-pile for Cybertron? All of us.”

That made you blink. “In what regard?”

“Oh, none of us were criminals or anything, but… let’s just say we pissed off the right people and Optimus Prime is the one who’s had to deal with us ever since.”

Leaning forward, you nodded. “You’re… rather chatty all of a sudden. Did something happen?”

“Hm?” He seemed again to be shaken out of his reverie. 

“No offense intended,” you ventured, “but you rarely instigate conversations with me.”

“I suppose that’s true.” He tilted his head. “Would you like to meet Captain Fanzone?”

You were not expecting that. “Uh… who?”

“He’s the captain of the police force. While he’s a little...  _ Reluctant  _ to work with us, he’s one of the other humans you are more than likely to encounter while hanging around us.” He gestured with one hand. “It might be beneficial for you two to get to know each other sooner, rather than later.”

“Do you mean right now?”

He chuckled, getting to his feet. “Why not? You don’t seem particularly wrapped up in your work, and I’m sure he could use a break.”

You started cleaning up your things. “Sure, I guess it can’t hurt.”

He waited patiently as you got everything into your bag. After a moment of thought, you decided to leave the bag behind, bringing only your wallet and phone along in your coat pockets. Once you hopped off the sofa, he transformed.

You were still nervous about getting on a motorcycle sans helmet, but this time you climbed on without comment. He knew how you felt about it, after all.

It was only when you were settled that he took off, slowly, out of the base.

The ride was silent, but it wasn’t long before you began to see signs of trouble. An entire street block seemed to be destroyed. All around it was police tape and people scrambling--reporters interviewing locals, police officers checking around, the whole shebang.

“Didn’t there use to be a convenience store there?” you remarked as the two of you drove around.

“Indeed. Things got a little heated last night.”

“Was it an accident, or was there a perp?”

“The perpetrator is being dealt with now, thankfully.”

You felt a stab of concern. “Whoever it was, was strong enough to leave dents in Bulkhead’s body. That’s... Not normal for a human.”

“We do not believe the perpetrator was fully organic. Here we are.”

He slowed to a stop just outside the yellow tape.

“Here?” you asked. “But people are in the middle of working.”

When he didn’t answer, you reluctantly climbed off. He transformed, and stepped over the yellow tape, completely unconcerned. At a loss for what else to do, you scrambled after him, ducking under the tape.

“Hey! What are you doing here?” you heard a man’s voice bark.

“There he is,” Prowl said over his shoulder to you.

You peered around Prowl’s leg. A large man with a moustache and a megaphone stood with one hand on one hip, glowering up at Prowl. You could make out his police badge just before he lifted the megaphone to yell.

“Didn’t you ‘bots cause enough damage last night?”

Wincing, you clapped your hands over your ears.

Not so much as flinching at the volume, Prowl held up a hand. “Whatever damage we may have accidentally incurred wasn’t nearly as bad as what could have happened, officer, and you and I are both aware of that. More importantly--”

“ _ More importantly _ ? I’ve got five people injured and one critically injured to deal with and people asking questions and--what could be more important?”

Prowl knelt, gesturing for you to come closer.

Feeling very out of place, you shuffled forward, trying to put on your most professional smile.

Captain Fanzone shot you a flat look. “Oh good, another reporter.”

“I--I’m not a reporter, I’m a teacher,” you stammered.

That made him pause. “The hell are you doin’ here, lady?”

“She is going to be working with us regularly,” Prowl said. “Optimus should have introduced you to her earlier, but he hasn’t had a chance. Allow me to rectify that now.”

Captain Fanzone squinted at you as Prowl offered your full names to each other, but shook your hand anyhow. His grip was hard, unforgiving, but you could see a hint of concern in the glare as Prowl fell silent.

“You too, huh?” he asked you.

“Beg pardon?”

“Endin’ up dealin’ with a buncha machines on the regular. Especially this one.” He jerked a thumb up in Prowl’s direction.

“Oh, he’s not that bad,” you said. “Anyway, we should be going now.” You offered Prowl a look.

Prowl didn’t take the hint. “There’s no evidence to find here, Captain, and you were working all night. Organics need mental breaks to work at full optimization.”

“Don’t talk to me about ‘full optimization’,” Captain Fanzone said. “Unless you got somethin’ about this incident to report that I don’t already know, get outta here, will ya?”

“Of course. Instructor?”

You shot Captain Fanzone a sympathetic look. “Sorry to disturb your work, Captain.”

“Eh, not yer fault. He roped you into this, didn’t he?” Surprised, you nodded. Captain Fanzone sighed, crossing his arms. “You’ll get a lotta that, dealin’ with them. You sure got funny taste, lady.”

“Funny taste?” you echoed.

Captain Fanzone glanced up at Prowl. “Datin’ a robot like that.”

You choked.

“I knew it was comin’,” Fanzone continued, as you struggled to come up with a protest that wouldn’t end up insulting Prowl. “But to see it with my own eyes sure is somethin’.” He paused. “Not sure it was somethin’ I  _ wanted  _ to see, honestly.”

“I… believe there has been a misunderstanding,” Prowl stammered, and you were gratified to see that not only did his face look a little pink, but you could also hear his fans kicking on. Was he getting overheated? “That is not the reason I brought her here--”

“Yeah, whatever. You got what you wanted, take your lady friend outta the yellow tape, willya?”

Prowl wordlessly retreated.

Avoiding eye contact, you did the same.

The two of you were silent, even after stepping around the yellow tape. Prowl transformed, and you climbed on as he took you back toward base.

At last, you sputtered out a, “Why would he even think that?”

Prowl didn’t answer.

You couldn’t help but press. “Did you bring him ‘lady friends’ before or something?”

“N-no!” You got the impression that, if Prowl were in his main form, he’d be clearing his throat. “That’s not exactly… well, that isn’t our  _ priority  _ on this planet,” Prowl said at last.

“Right.” You let out a nervous laugh. “Right. I mean. How would that even work, anyway?”

He didn’t answer.

Aaaaand you made it even more awkward.

The rest of the ride back was silent. After your last comment, you didn’t dare open your mouth again, lest you say anything worse. You were grateful to get back and see that Bumblebee was up in the main room when you arrived. 

He glanced up from the television and visibly brightened. “‘Teach! Hey! I thought we wouldn’t see ya today.”

Grateful for the break in awkward silences, you hopped off of Prowl and made your way toward the sofa. “It’s still a workday for me,” you said with a wry smile, “even if you guys are taking an excused absence. You okay?”

Bumblebee shrugged. “Bulkhead took most of the hits, so I’m fine.” He raised a brow at something behind you, and a second later you heard Prowl’s engine roar as he took off. “What’s with him? Why was he all flustered?”

“We went to meet Captain Fanzone,” you said, not sure how much detail to share. “What’re you up to? Can I join you up there?”

“Sure! Pop a… what’d you say before? Pop a sat?”

“Pop a squat,” you corrected, and grinned as you climbed up to where you’d left your stuff earlier. 

“You up for that video game?” He dangled a human-sized controller in your direction.

You reached out to accept it. “Yeah, why not. I can work a little later.”

He grinned. “I’ll have you know my plan is to keep you from working for the rest of the day.”

“You know you’re not supposed to  _ tell _ me your plan like that.” You gave him a mock-doubtful look. “Now I’m just going to be on guard and try to escape whenever I can.”

“I have contingency plans for that. I wasn’t in Boot Camp for no reason, after all.”

You flashed back on what Bulkhead had said about that. “A contingency plan? And what’s that?”

“Now that…” He winked. “Is the part I’m not telling you about. Now, you get to choose. Racing, or fighting?”

“Fighting,” you decided.

You watched with some fascination as he booted up a fighting game that you remembered playing as a kid. You’d tended to button-mash more than anything with this particular game, so you didn’t worry too much about which characters were available--you just went with one you remembered using in the past.

Soon enough, the two of you were engaged in an all-out game.

If Bumblebee had one thing going for him, it was how passionate he was when he was interested in something. He leaned forward, scowling at the screen in concentration. When he won, he whooped and taunted; when he lost, he sulked and threatened retribution. You took it all in good stride, teasing back, sticking your tongue out when you lost, and promising to kick his ‘aft’. 

You weren’t sure if you used the terminology correctly, given that Bumblebee giggled like a kid when you used it, but hey, it made him laugh... And gave you a chance to get a few hits in before he realized what was up.

‘Best out of three’ turned into ‘best out of five’, then ‘best out of thirteen’. Quite by accident you became more familiar with your character’s moves, just because you could only mash so many combinations of buttons. 

“You look like you’re having fun,” Optimus commented.

You felt a stab of guilt and instinctively put the game on pause, twisting around to peer up at him. He was standing behind the couch, arms crossed, watching the television. At least he didn’t look mad.

But you still blurted out a, “Sorry! You’re right, I should be working.”

“Hey, what? C’mon, I already told you you’re not doin’ any more of that today,” Bumblebee said. He unpaused the game. “C’mon, you gotta play or I’ll beat your character in a nanoclik!”

You hit the ‘pause’ button again.

Optimus, meanwhile, quirked a grin. “Bumblebee is right,” he said calmly. “While your attempts to remain professional are appreciated, it’s not necessary today. The company alone is nice.”

“Are you sure? I was working on some prep for lessons down the line, I could--”

Bumblebee sighed. “Optimus,  _ talk  _ to her, will ya?”

“I  _ am  _ talking to her,” Optimus retorted. Then he paused. “Wait. What am I supposed to be saying?”

Bumblebee let out a dramatic groan. “To quit stressin’ and just hang out! We’re not gonna eat her if she doesn’t act all teachery all the time, frag!”

“I don’t think you’re going to  _ eat me _ ,” you retorted.

“That’s reassuring, since that would be a horrible mistake on our parts… for many reasons.” Optimus smirked. “Relax. Spend time with Bumblebee in whatever way you deem fit. Sari should be here in a while, and I’m sure she’ll want to see you as well. If it helps, that’s an order.”

Some part of you relaxed, even though you knew it was silly. You smiled a little. “Thanks, Optimus. That does help.”

Bumblebee rolled his optics. “Can we play now?”

“Maybe Optimus wants to?” you said, glancing up at him as he came around to the front of the sofa.

“Me? Oh, no. It’s all Bumblebee. Though sometimes he convinces Prowl to join him.”

Prowl versus Bumblebee in a fighting game? “That must be fun to watch,” you said.

Bumblebee offered a one-shoulder shrug when you glanced at him. “I only ask him when nobody else is around and I need to get a special item or something.”

You settled back into place. “Are you feeling all right after, uh, whatever happened?” you asked Optimus.

He blinked. “Me? Oh, yes. We’re all just fine, though it is kind of you to ask. Still, I ordered a mental holiday for everyone today just to be on the safe side.”

“Makes sense. I know Bumblebee’s been here, and I imagine some of the others have been napping. Or uh, in stasis?” you corrected yourself. “What have you been up to?”

“Reporting home.” Optimus glanced away, sobering. “There’s… a lot more reporting necessary these days.”

“Serious matters?” you asked.

He nodded.

“I won’t pry, but… that’s gotta be rough.”

“Yeah, the higher-ups are real sticks in the mud,” Bumblebee said with a sigh. “And they really like rubbing Optimus’s nose in just about everything, whether it’s his fault or not.”

“Oh, it’s not that bad,” Optimus said, in a voice that made you realize it was indeed that bad.

You lifted a hand on instinct, but dropped it back to the controller before you got too far. “Well, if I can help somehow, let me know.”

“You do, believe me.” Optimus settled on the far end of the couch. It looked like an adult sitting on furniture meant for a young child; his knees almost came up to his face.

You bit your lip to stifle a laugh. Bumblebee was huge, but you forgot somehow just how massive Optimus was in comparison.

“So, we playing?” Bumblebee prompted you.

“Yes, don’t let me get in the way.” Optimus smiled. “I just wanted to watch for a while.”

You nodded and unpaused the game. Back you went to fighting against Bumblebee, though now that the spell was broken, your heart wasn’t as in it as before. He began to rack up the wins. You still teased him back, and laughed at the ridiculous things you both made your characters do, but you became increasingly aware of the fact that Optimus wasn’t watching the screen.

He was glancing regularly over toward you and Bumblebee. Once or twice when you looked up, you caught him looking directly at you. Other times, you saw him narrowing his optics at your compact-car-turned-friend. If you were to guess, you’d think he was trying to calculate something in his mind.

A few more rounds went by, with Bumblebee the winner. You were about to call it quits--your hands were getting tired holding the controller--when you heard running footsteps.

“Have no fear, Sari is here!” the young girl announced.

You glanced over at her in time to see her put her hands on her hips and puff out her chest, much like how Bumblebee tended too. “Oh, thank goodness,” you said mock seriously. “I’m in dire need of your help, Sari.”

She adopted a quizzical expression. “You are?”

“Yeah. This rascal--” you indicated Bumblebee, who grinned, “--has been kicking my rear end in this video game all day. I’ve tried and tried but can’t beat him. Can you help?”

“Oh!” She rushed over. Optimus offered her a hand up onto the sofa, where she happily took the controller from you. “Of course I can! First of all, we need to change your character.”

She continued to ‘teach’ you about how to properly play the game. You crossed your legs under yourself and leaned back against the couch, half-listening and nodding at appropriate times as Sari proceeded to ‘battle’ Bumblebee in the game. She was indeed, far better at it than you, launching several combos the second the fight started.

Bumblebee hunched forward in his seat to concentrate, but Sari began to rack up wins.

“Maaan, calling backup like that isn’t fair, ‘Teach!” he complained good-naturedly after Sari’s third win. 

You smirked. “Sari taught me that all’s fair in love, war and racing. Why wouldn’t that extend to versus mode in a fighting game?”

“I see how it is.” His eyes narrowed. “You just wait. I’ll show you next time we face off in a game.”

You chuckled. “I’ll just call Sari to help again, I’m all set.”

Bumblebee shot you a playfully exasperated look.

Optimus got to his feet. The movement caught you off-guard, and when you peered up at him you saw that he had a bit of a smile playing on his face. “What’s up, Optimus?” you asked.

“Nothing. I just… am satisfied with what I’ve seen. I’m going to go take a short stasis-nap before getting back to work. Please, continue without me.” With that, he began to plod away.

“Satisfied with what he’s seen?” Sari echoed. “What the heck does that mean?”

“Beats me,” you said.

“Question.” Bumblebee raised a hand, like he was in school. When you turned to look at him, he dropped it back into his lap. “How come Earthlings have so many phrases and so much slang that implies hitting someone else?”

Sari shrugged. “We like to beat each other up, I guess? I dunno.”

Both looked at you expectantly.

“Uh.” You tried to gather your thoughts. “I think because it’s often a decisive feeling when you use words like that. ‘Go on a journey’ and ‘hit the road’ sound totally different, even though you’re essentially doing the same thing. Same for ‘studying’ and ‘hitting the books’.”

“So it’s decisive?”

“Yeah! That’s also the difference between ‘flirting’ and ‘hitting on someone’,” Sari said a bit impishly.

“Uh, I suppose so,” you agreed.

“Speaking of, I saw this bit on TV,” Sari continued, as if you hadn’t spoken. “This boy was trying to hit on this girl but he was super bad at it. He kept saying stuff she didn’t like.”

“Like what? Sounds like he wasn’t very good at it,” Bumblebee said.

“Like…” Sari trailed off, furrowing her brow. “Like, ‘did it hurt when it fell from heaven?’ Or ‘are you from Tennessee, ‘cuz you’re the only ten I see.’ Stuff like that.”

You snorted. “Classic, but very lame.”

Bumblebee tilted his head. “Ohhh, I see. Pick-up lines. So they’re a thing on Earth, too?”

You nodded. “I mean, they can work  _ sometimes _ ,” you said. “Like, if it’s so over-the-top cheesy that it makes someone laugh. But only sometimes.”

Bumblebee shook his head. “They have the same sorta views on Cybertron. Though honestly? If you’ve got the spark for it, the more direct you are about compliments and stuff, the better.”

“What kind of compliments really get the ladies on Cybertron?” Sari asked, leaning over to nudge at Bumblebee. Her elbow made a soft “clank” sound when it made contact with him. She grinned. “Or the gentlemen, for that matter?”

Bumblebee vented out some air, and you heard something click in his internal systems. “Uhh, heh. Y’know, like… complimenting someone’s paint job.” He shifted. “Or, if you, uh--”

“Oh come on, give us a proper example!” Sari pressed. “I wanna hear what you’ve said!”

Bumblebee glanced at you, and you had the feeling he was looking for someone to save him. You smiled a little in sympathy, but your own curiosity was getting the better of you. “It must be good, if you’re being so squirmy,” you said.

“I’m not  _ squirmy _ ,” he protested. “Okay, just… give me a second.” Whatever happened in his systems clicked again, and he set the controller down with a certain determination that made you quirk an eyebrow.

He shifted toward you and Sari, but his optics were fully on you. Things seem to hush around you as you realized how focused he was, and your heart, traitorous as it was, began to pick up a rapid beat.

Despite the fact you’d been hoping for a playful little back-and-forth, Bumblebee’s expression was serious--perhaps the most serious you’d seen him. 

He took a breath, then let it out. “Wow,” he said.

“...Wow?” you echoed.

“Processor, paint job, features... you’re really the whole package. How has a mech  _ not  _ swept you off your stabilizers yet?” He smirked a bit. “Or have you been waiting for me to do it?”

Something about the way he said it made you feel all kinds of… ways.

Maybe if he’d played it off as joking, you could have passed it off as insincere. But the way he was watching you made you think on that compliment a lot more than you probably should have.

You managed a breathy laugh. “Wow, what a regular casanova,” you said, proud of yourself for not stammering.

Bumblebee blinked. “Ya think?” he asked.

“Definitely. Right, Sari?” you asked, glancing at her.

She shrugged. “I dunno, it didn’t sound super creative.”

“Compliments don’t have to be, if they come from the heart. Spark. You know what I mean.”

Bumblebee chuckled, and some of the tension you’d felt building up dissipated. “You don’t gotta change your lingo just to have us understand you. We get it, I promise.”

You should have let things drop, but you couldn’t completely let the situation go. Not yet. “Didn’t know you took romance so seriously, Bumblebee.” You smirked. “Here I thought you were going to go for one of the super cheesy pickup lines.”

His brow quirked in interest. “For example?”

“Uh!” You held up your hands in defense. “You know. Just, the real silly ones.”

“Nope, nuh uh.” He waggled a finger at you. “If I had to embarrass myself, it’s only fair you do too. Let’s hear it.”

You glanced at Sari for help. She, however, was nodding. “Only fair,” she echoed.

Letting out a nervous laugh, you glanced back at Bumblebee. “Oh, man, I’ve never used a pickup line seriously though. It’s always been like, as a joke?” You reached up with one hand to fiddle with your hair. 

Bumblebee smirked. “You’re changin’ the subject, ‘Teach.”

_ Can you blame me? _ Because now you were faced with a conundrum. Ever since that talk about dating, you’d been stuck on the whole idea of Bumblebee having a thing for Bulkhead. And how it was bothering you, as much as you were trying to pretend it wasn’t.

And that meant that, even if you _meant_ to give a compliment as a joke, you might mess up by making it more serious and sincere than you wanted it to be.

_ The last thing I want to do is make anybody uncomfortable. Besides, this... It’s my job. _

_ A job where I get hugs and people want to play video games with me all day. Cool it, you can handle this. Just say one dumb line--the dumbest one you can think of--then we can all laugh it off and move on. _

Clearing your throat, you glanced up to where Bumblebee was still watching you. Some of his earlier amusement had faded, and he was leaning slightly forward, as if intent on catching anything you said. 

Part of you knew that it would be smart to play this off by directing the line at some imaginary fourth person. But only part.

You cleared your throat. “Wow.”

Bumblebee quirked a faint grin, acknowledging your imitation of him. “Wow?” he asked, playing along.

You smiled up at him. “Are you a magician?” You paused, searching his gaze. “Because every time I look at you, everyone and everything else disappears.”

He froze, his expression falling, and color appeared on his cheeks.

The two of you hung there in the silence for a moment as he stared. You heard a familiar, telltale “pssssh” sound, but didn’t acknowledge it.

There was something special about this moment, this limbo where a seed of potential was being sown, and you were suddenly feeling very aware of several things all at once.

Then, Bumblebee let out a soft, forced laugh. “Hah.” He leaned back, averting his gaze with a weak smile on his face. “That was  _ lame _ . You think I’d say  _ that _ ?” He waved a hand, speaking faster than usual. “Pfft, yeah, right. I’ll-have-you-know-I _ -am-way-classier-than-that _ \--” 

“‘Bee, you’re talking too fast,” Sari cut in. You glanced over to see she had her arms folded and she was frowning.

He paused, then with visible effort got himself to calm down. “My bad.”

“Well, I didn’t mean to insult you with the  _ lamest  _ pickup line in the world,” you said, trying not to sound hurt by the comment.

He apparently caught on, though, and he glanced back. “It wasn’t the  _ lamest _ ,” he said, fidgeting in place. “Just… y’know. Like you said. Cheesy.”

“Cheesy enough to make you squirmy,” you couldn’t help but point out.

“For cryin' out--I’m _not_ squirmy!”

“You’re a wiggle-worm, Bumblebee,” Sari said wtih a roll of her eyes. “Anyway, I’m bored. Can we go back to games now?”

The conversation changed after that, much to your relief. Sari and Bumblebee kept on playing games, egging each other on while making a point to include you in the shenanigans. You joined in as best you could, but your eyes kept drifting toward Bumblebee… and your mind kept returning to that look on his face as he complimented you. And vice versa. And Captain Fanzone’s assumption.

You were starting to feel like you might be in trouble.


	12. Dare You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sari decrees it's slumber party time. You get a call. You also get a dare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's my story and the 'bots can get drunk if they want to. But only if they want to.

“So, the hermit crab will seek out a new home of its’ own accord?” Prowl asked. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor, facing where you sat on the couch, one hand cupping his chin.

You nodded. “Yep, in order to grow, it needs to find a bigger home. Kind of like goldfish, hermit crabs at first are safe and can develop in a given habitat, but they need more room eventually.”

“Fascinating.”

You sipped some hot tea from your thermos. 

Prowl watched you do so. While he never took off his visor, you could feel his optics tracking your movements. “You’re cold,” he observed.

“Your plant isn’t very well heated,” you said somewhat sheepishly. “I’m sure it’s fine for you guys, though.”

“But you and Sari need to keep it in mind, I suppose… Sari hasn’t complained about it, but I can see your breath coming out in puffs.”

“Kids are a bundle of energy, they usually feel warmer than adults,” you explained. “So she probably hasn’t even noticed it. She always whines when I tell her to wear her coat, though.”

He rubbed at his chin. “Perhaps we should look into a heating system for you two. Though then again, if we plan to stay here for any longer, we should consider it for ourselves. Anti-freeze can only do so much, after all.” He tilted his head. “How long does winter last here?”

“It’s not winter yet, it’s fall,” you said.

He shot you a pointed look.

“Well, it’s cold here up through late spring next year, so… six months-ish?”

“Were you intending on going through that entire period without saying anything?”

“I’m the only one feeling the cold,” you said. “I didn’t want to complain.”

Prowl shook his head. “You should have mentioned it as soon as you began to feel uncomfortable. You are here to instruct, not to become a human icicle.” He leaned back. “Now, is there anything I can do short-term to make you feel more comfortable?”

You couldn’t help but feel a bit touched. “I brought heat packs with me today,” you assured him. “I’m okay, I promise.”

“Heat packs?”

You withdrew one from your pocket and held it out to him. “Like ice packs, but they keep you warm instead. I have ‘em in my pockets.”

He accepted the pack gingerly between two fingers. “Ingenious.” He turned it over, gazing at it for a moment. Then Prowl peered at you again. “You do think of everything, don’t you?”

“I gotta. You guys keep me on my toes,” you said, smiling.

Prowl let out a soft, “Hah”, which was about as much laughter as you could hope for from him. “I’ll mention this to Optimus. Or perhaps Ratchet. The health of the team is a priority, after all.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I am aware.” He gave you the pack back, which you tucked into your pocket once more. “Now, as you were saying about the hermit crab--”

“Why do you need to mention somethin’ to Ratchet?” you heard the grumpy Docbot himself say as he walked into the room.

Prowl peered up. “The instructor is cold.”

Ratchet looked at you.

You waved.

“Oh really, now,” he said, scowling. “And you failed t’ mention this before because…?”

“I’m keeping myself warm. I won’t catch a cold on my own watch,” you said.

“A cold?” Prowl asked.

“Human malady. They overheat, and all sortsa gunk clogs up their systems, which they have to excrete through their orifices.” Ratchet grunted, still staring at you. “Takes weeks to clear up, if we use Earthling time.”

Prowl had gone still. “That sounds quite serious.”

“Colds aren’t as bad as all that,” you said, waving a hand. “We take medicine, we take a few days off from work, and we recover while drinking soup and watching bad reruns on TV. Really, I’ve been through worse.”

The two robots looked at each other. You could tell they were not convinced.

“I’ll talk to Optimus,” Ratchet grumbled, and stomped away.

You rolled your eyes a little, but you couldn’t help but smile.

As the weather got colder, your reception at the plant continued to get warmer. You also were getting spotted around town. Mostly by Captain Fanzone, who had approached you once or twice to ask how your “robot boyfriend” was getting on. He apparently took your insistence that nothing was going on as mere shyness. Very awkward on all sides.

Especially as the more he talked about that, the more your brain started coming up with… possibilities.

It was ridiculous, of course. No logic at all to be had. You weren’t even the same species.

And yet.

And  _ yet _ .

...No.

_ Nope, don’t do this to yourself. Don’t even do it. You know better. _

You pushed that out of your mind, and went back to discussing hermit crabs with Prowl. Occasionally, you looked up something on your laptop to answer his question, but before you knew it, the hour was up, and Prowl was getting to his feet.

“This was very interesting,” he said with a nod. “I’ll leave you to your next student, Instructor.”

“If you have any questions about other creatures, do let me know so I can prepare for next time,” you said.

He walked away without seeming to acknowledge that, but you didn’t mind. That was par for the course when it came to Prowl.

You took a few minutes to write some notes about the conversation you’d had, taking frequent breaks to sip your tea and stick your hands into your warm pockets. Maybe it was for the best that Ratchet and Prowl were now aware that you’d be in need of a heating system.

“Hellooo,” you heard Sari sing out from the entrance, and you smiled.

Turning your head, you lifted a hand to wave as she skipped inside.

“Where are the guys?” she asked, putting her hands on her hips. As usual, she was wearing her simple dress. She had a jacket under one arm, but it was clearly one meant for late spring, not for the upcoming winter.

You raised an eyebrow pointedly at her.

She heaved a big sigh, but put it on.

As she did, you said, “I just finished up with Prowl. Ratchet’s talking with Optimus. Dunno where Bulkhead or Bumblebee are. How was tutoring?”

“Boring. History always drives me nuts. Bright side, I got to play with my key a bit more, and tonight? Tonight you need to stay.”

That made you blink. “Tonight?” you echoed. “How come?”

Sari grinned, spreading her arms out wide. “Becaaaaause, tonight is sleepover night! It’s a Friday!”

“Sleepover night?”

“Oh! Is this the party thing you were talking about, Sari?” you heard Bumblebee call out. You turned your head to see him poking his head into the main room.

Sari nodded. “Yep!” she said brightly. “I brought sleeping bags for everybody, and we can hang out and everything! Where are the other guys?”

Bumblebee wandered in. “They’ll be in soon enough. ‘Teach just finished for the day. Right?” he added, glancing at you.

“Weren’t we supposed to have a lesson?” you reminded him.

He rolled his optics. “Come ooon, it’s Friday night! We can quit early and party.”

You glanced at Sari, who was beaming at you hopefully. “...All right,” you agreed. “Just this once, though.”

“Yes!” He paused, tilting his head at you. “How come you’re wearing like, ten layers?” he asked, putting his hands on his hips much like Sari had. 

“I’m cold,” you admitted.

“Don’t worry, I brought you a sleeping bag too, you’ll be nice and cozy,” Sari said. She turned around, and you realized she was standing in front of a comically large backpack. She withdrew what looked like a small pouch, which she tossed to you.

“Oof!” It was much heavier than you’d expected. You looked at the label, and your eyes widened. “The heck? This little thing unfolds into a four-season sleeping bag?”

She beamed. “I know, awesome right? Bumblebee, catch!” 

She tossed a second one, this one significantly bigger. While she wasn’t able to throw it nearly as far, Bumblebee leaned forward and caught it with one hand, scanning over the packaging himself.

You glanced at him with a smirk. “Can you read what it says?” you asked.

He made a show of rolling his optics. “Sleeping bag,” he read aloud dutifully. “Far… no…  _ four  _ season, all-pur-pur- _ purpose _ use.”

“That’s it exactly!”

Bumblebee grinned.

“Is Sari handing out gifts for people?” Bulkhead asked, wandering in. 

“Yep! Here’s your sleeping bag!” Sari tossed it in his direction, using both hands this time.

Bulkhead was not as quick on the uptake and ended up getting hit in the knee by the pack. “Hey! What was that for?” he complained.

“It’s a sleeping bag, for hanging out,” Bumblebee told him. “That sleepover thing is today.”

“Today? Already?”

“It’s Friday, and my dad’s busy all weekend and I want company,” Sari said, playfully pouting as she walked over. “Hey, can I get a hug?”

You opened your arms to her. She crawled onto the couch and into your lap, making you go, “oof”, but at least you were prepared for it. “Of course,” you answered, giving her a squeeze. Then, you blinked. “I thought you guys had a sleepover before?”

“Well, we  _ tried _ ,” Sari said. “But there was a fire that night in town and the ‘bots wanted to go help, so I ended up going home.”

“You sent me pictures and everything,” you pointed out.

“That was at the start of the night, right after the guys moved in here.”

“Yeah! We played some games and we were about to do more when we had to go help people,” Bumblebee said, dropping onto the couch with a ‘thud’.

You and Sari bounced several inches off the sofa. You chuckled. “Ow,” you said, though you hadn’t actually gotten hurt.

Sari, meanwhile, scrambled off you to beam up at Bumblebee.

“Do that again!” she said.

Bumblebee quirked a brow. “Do what?”

“She wants you to bounce us,” you explained.

His expression cleared. “Oh!” He paused, then grinned, rising to his feet. Then, he leaped up onto the couch.

This time, you and Sari both went up into the air. Sari’s pile of cushions went flying, though not before you grabbed one to hold onto. “ _ Whoa _ !” you yelped, glad that you’d handed on something soft.

Sari, next to you, giggled. “Do it again!”

Bumblebee did as she asked, and you rolled your eyes as you landed on another cushion. Thank goodness those seemed to multiply on the couch when you weren’t looking. 

Bulkhead looked amused. “Isn’t that bad for the couch?”

“Eh, it’ll live,” Bumblebee said. He jumped again. And again.

You did your best to scoot back and away from Sari to avoid bouncing right into her. Sari, for her part, was squealing in amusement, staying on her feet. You, as wrapped up as you had been, were being bounced about on your butt.

“Why is Bumblebee on the couch?” you heard Optimus ask.

“He likes to feel tall,” Ratchet muttered.

You snorted, and held up the universal gesture for time-out.

Bumblebee stopped, quirking a brow at you again, and you took the opportunity to wiggle off the couch and onto the floor. Once there, you shed your piles of blankets and cushions, and gave him the thumbs up.

“I’m just moving my stuff so it doesn’t hit anybody,” you said, grabbing your bag and thermos from the sofa.

He resumed bouncing Sari as you set your stuff safely out of the way. As you did, you noticed your phone buzzing. Curious, you picked it up.

“Mom?” you asked.

The bouncing stilled.

_ “Honey! When were you going to tell me?!” _

You blinked. “Tell you what?”

_ “That you quit your job and are working for the Autobots!” _

You paused, glancing behind you. Everyone except Prowl was in sight, shooting you quizzical looks. You held up a finger to ask for a moment and answered, “You know about them?”

_ “It’s all over the local news! The papparazzi has pictures of you at a grocery store! People are trying to find your social media accounts! Someone called me today asking for an interview!” _

Huh. Well, at least your local news was finally catching up with what was going on in Detroit.

“I didn’t want to sound crazy telling you I was working with the Autobots. I mean, I hadn’t heard of them before coming to the city myself. I got some sh--uhhh, crap for it when I got here,” you said, catching yourself at the last minute.

Bumblebee tsked at you, and you stuck your tongue out at him in response.

_ “Well,  _ tell  _ me these things for pete’s sake! What exactly are you doing, anyway?” _

“That’s, uh… look, it’s a lot to get into and I’m kind of with some friends now. Can I call you back tomorrow, maybe, and let you know?”

“She called us  _ friends _ ,” Bumblebee said gleefully to Sari.

_ “Friends? Any friends I know?” _

“You haven’t met ‘em yet, but we’re going to hang out, watch some TV, play some games, that sort of thing. I gotta go, okay?”

_ “Oh, fine. Keep your secrets, hon, but I’ll be interrogating you for sure tomorrow. Be safe, okay?” _

“Okay. Love you, bye.” You hung up, and smiled at the group. “Heh, uh, sorry about that. Mom. She likes to call me Friday nights.”

“You’re a grown-up and your mom still calls you?” Sari asked, raising a brow and tilting her head at you.

“You never escape your parents,” you told her with a chuckle. “Besides, moving to the city was a big change for me.” Realizing the rest of the room was still quiet, you looked up to see Optimus regarding you with a serious expression. “Um. Did I say something weird?”

“Not ‘weird’ per say. But it is an honor to know we are considered friends of yours,” he said.

You felt a rush of shyness. You hadn’t realized how important that might sound to these guys. “Oh.” You ducked your head. “Well, I hope I wasn’t being too uh, presumptuous?”

“Nah,” Bumblebee said cheerfully. “But also, hey! That sounded like Mom didn’t know about us. Why you keepin’ us a secret?”

You held up your hands. “I wasn’t keeping you secret! I just didn’t know how much I was allowed to say on the matter to people outside of us.”

“That’s keeping a secret,” Ratchet pointed out. He wandered further into the room. “Well, whatever the case, if there’ll be no further interruptions, what’s this all about?”

“Actually,” Bumblebee cut in, “I got a question.”

“Shoot,” you said.

He tilted his head. “Who exactly is ‘Mom’?”

~*~

The slumber party was a seven year old’s dream. Sari got to be the boss, which meant that whatever she directed people to do, they did. If that meant Bumblebee and Bulkhead trying to play Twister, or you ordering Chinese takeout, then that was exactly what you did. Ratchet was more of an observer than a participant, but he watched the goings-on with the patient air of a grandfather. Optimus, meanwhile, seemed bewildered by just about everything.

You, meanwhile, were noticing a shift in the tone of the evening. Rather than keeping your distance from the group, you found yourself thoroughly involved in everything happening… and asking your own questions, too, especially when Bulkhead suggested they break out some ‘high-grade’.

“What’s ‘high-grade’?” you asked, as Bulkhead headed off toward the kitchen.

“You’ve seen how we consume fuel,” Optimus said. He was staring intently at the projected ‘mat’ they’d been using for the game of Twister, his brow furrowed like it was a puzzle meant to be solved. “While we can and do consume other things, energon is the most efficient for us… and well, let’s just say that high-grade is… concentrated.”

“It helps take the edge off, when the need calls for it,” Ratchet said.

“Will you be partaking, Ratchet?” Optimus asked.

“I’d better not, if you all are going to be idiots.”

You blinked. “Wait. So you’re saying high-grade energon makes you inebriated?” When Ratchet nodded, you glanced at Sari. 

_ At least there’s no human alcohol around for the kid to try. _

Just as you thought it, Sari asked curiously, “What’s it taste like?”

“Awful,” Bumblebee told her with a smirk. “But we don’t drink it for the taste. It’s for the fun.”

Sari wrinkled her nose. “We’re having fun without that stuff.”

“Eh, one drink for a party should be good,” Bulkhead said, returning. He had several cubes of Energon in his hands, almost violet in color. “Ratchet, you sure you don’t want one? Where’s Prowl?”

“Hiding in his room,” Bumblebee scoffed. 

“Perhaps he’s not the type to imbibe, anyhow,” Optimus suggested, walking over to take a cube from Bulkhead.

Bumblebee followed suit. They all looked at Ratchet expectantly.

“I told you, I ain’t drinkin’ that tonight.”

Bumblebee shrugged. “More for me.” He took a second cube.

“That stuff goes right to your processor,” Bulkhead said.

“That’s the point, pal.”

Bulkhead sighed. “I’ll have the other one, then.”

“We should toast something,” Optimus said.

“Can we join? We don’t have Energon, but we have cups,” you said, holding up your takeout cup.

“Sure, why not? Sari, what should we toast to?” Optimus turned to peer down at their slumber party leader.

She crossed her arms, deep in thought. “Hmm. Um.” She brightened. “Oh!” Jumping up, she grabbed her cup and rushed to Bumblebee. He was already in the process of kneeling, so it was easy for her to clamber up onto his shoulder. Once done, she said, “How about to friendship?”

Optimus offered a hand to you, which you carefully climbed onto as well. While he didn’t put you on his shoulder, he held you up at eye level as he nodded. “I think that’s a fine toast to make. To friendship!”

You echoed it, holding out your cup without having it bump into things. That turned out to be for the best; when Bulkhead enthusiastically joined in, he hit his cube against the others’ so hard that a good amount of the Energon went spilling onto the ground.

“Oops,” he said sheepishly.

Then, you all took a drink.

You were set down again, out of range of the spillage. 

“Waste of good Energon,” Ratchet grumbled.

“I didn’t see you taking a cube,” Bulkhead retorted.

“Anyway, Sari, what’s next?” Bumblebee asked, turning to her. “Got any new games?”

“Hmm. Well, card games are tough ‘cuz human cards are pretty tiny,” Sari said, considering. She tapped her foot for a moment. “We’ll have to be crea--oh! Here’s an idea!” You didn’t like the smile she sent you, or the all-too-innocent way she beamed up at the ‘bots. “How about ‘Spin the Bottle’?”

“Nope. Nuh-uh, vetoing that right now,” you said, a bit sharper than intended.

Sari turned, her expression falling. “Awww, c’mon, why?”

You shot her a Look, then peered up at the ‘bots. “It’s a flirting game,” you explained, feeling your face grow warm. Ugh, why did you have to blush so much around these guys? “You spin a bottle while sitting in a circle. Whoever the bottle points to is someone you have to kiss.”

Bumblebee blinked. “That sounds kinda fun, though.”

“I’m sorry but no. She’s seven years old and we’re all… not. We’re not doing that.”

“Fiiinnnne,” Sari grumbled. She paused, then perked up again. “Okay, then, let’s make a choice. Spin the Bottle… orrrr…. Truth or Dare.”

You didn’t like the way she was looking at you again.

“How’s  _ that  _ one played?” Ratchet asked skeptically.

“Oh it’s easy! You pick one, and either you have to answer a question truthfully, or you have to do something the other person tells you to do.”

“You can also opt out, and just do a punishment question or action instead,” you cut in. “Like, say, taking a drink instead of answering a question.”

“That sounds fine,” Optimus said. 

You sighed. You didn’t like it, but the ‘bots looked interested, and Sari was so pleased with herself. “All right,” you said. “Let’s play.”

“Right.” Sari clapped her hands together. “Optimus, you’re the leader, so pick someone!” 

Optimus glanced at you. “All right, I’ll choose our instructor.”

“Great!” Sari bounced. “Now you ask, ‘truth or dare’?”

“Uh, okay. Truth or dare?”

You smiled. Optimus was a safe bet, so you said with a grin, “Truth.”

Optimus considered. “So I can ask any question I wish, and she has to answer honestly?”

“Yeah! You can ask about someone’s deepest secrets, or fears, or likes or dislikes, or whatever you want!” Sari said, continuing to bounce on her feet.

He paused for a moment. Then, he said, “Instructor, how are you?”

Bumblebee and Sari both groaned as you chuckled. “I’m fine, a bit cold but enjoying myself,” you told him.

He smiled. “I’m glad to hear it.” He glanced at Sari. “Did I do that correctly?”

“I  _ guess _ ,” she grumped.

“My turn!” you said cheerfully. “I pick Bulkhead. Truth or dare?”

He considered. “Dare.”

You couldn’t help but grin. “I dare you to sing for thirty seconds.”

“Oh Primus, no, not singing,” Bumblebee groaned.

“I’m not  _ that  _ bad at singing!” Bulkhead protested, glaring at Bumblebee.

Bumblebee waved a servo in the air like he was waving a bad smell away. “Buddy, you make the walls shake, and not in a good way.”

“Dare’s a dare,” you said, pulling out your phone. “Ready?”

You hit the timer, and Bulkhead sang. Or rather, tried. It wasn’t that he had an awful voice, it was that he... didn’t seem to quite know what a tune was. His voice wobbled all over the place like a bad case of auto-tune. You tried not to wince. Bumblebee was far less discreet; he clamped his hands over his audials and grumbled.

The timer beeped, and Bulkhead stopped, beaming. “How was that?”

You opted not to answer directly. “Was that in Cybertronian?” 

“Yeah! It was one of those songs we learned in training. Had to sing it while working.”

“Anyway,” Sari butted in. “Bulkhead, you have to choose someone.”

“Can I choose teacher-lady?” he asked brightly.

“Uh, no,” you said, before Sari could answer. “It’s best to go for someone who hasn’t done their turn yet.”

Bulkhead paused, but accepted it with a nod and turned to Sari next.

The game went innocently enough for a few rounds. There was a good mix of questions and dares, all of which were fairly innocent and fun. Ratchet was the next person to ask you, and again you stuck to Truth. The third time, it was Optimus again. At some point, Prowl walked in to watch the proceedings, but upon being chosen for a round, he hopped up onto a nearby machine and perched like a grumpy owl, rather than participate.

You wished you could do the same.

The fourth time, Bumblebee was the one who got to pick you, and he did so with a grin that made you nervous.

“‘Teach!” he said. “Pick one.”

You tried not to fidget. 

Truth was a tricky one; you had a feeling he was about to ask something embarrassing. But Dare? Dare would also potentially be dangerous. 

You swallowed. “...Dare,” you finally said.

“Sweet!” His grin stretched across his face. “Dare you to kiss Bulkhead.”

_ What. _

_ ...What? _

_ Are you  _ serious _ ?! _

You shot him a look that you hoped conveyed how you felt about this.

“Hey, wait, you can involve other people in your dare?” Bulkhead asked. “That doesn’t sound fair!” He sounded like he was trying to fight off his own embarrassment. You could empathize.

“Yep,” Sari said. “Up you go, teacher.” She beamed at you.

You glanced at Bulkhead. His faceplate was looking a bit pink. “You, um, okay with that?” you asked. “If you’re not, you have the power to tell them no. I can be given a different dare.”

“No!” He shook his head. “Uh, no, it’s fine. I don’t mind.”

“Then, can you hold out your servo for a second?”

Sari and Bumblebee leaned forward, grinning at you gleefully, while you narrowed your eyes at them.  _ What game are you two playing at? _

So when Bulkhead held out his hand as though prepared to pick you up, instead you gestured for him to hold it out, as though he were about to give you a high-five. When he did, you went up on tip-toe to brush a quick kiss over one of the claws. 

As he flinched back in surprise, you stepped backwards. “Done,” you said.

Bumblebee and Sari both cried out in protest. 

“That doesn’t count!”

“That’s not a real kiss!”

“You didn’t tell me anything specific,” you told them. “I did the dare.”

“Oh come  _ on _ ,” Bumblebee whined. 

Fighting down a rush of annoyance, you tilted your head and put on your most innocent expression. “Tell you what,” you said, making your voice extra sweet. The room went quiet. “How about the next time  _ your  _ turn rolls around, you just show me how it’s done?”

Bumblebee blinked, and his faceplate went pink as he leaned back away from you.

“Uh,” Bulkhead said.

You straightened up, folding your arms over your chest. “I move that kissing be struck from the list of ‘acceptable dares’,” you said.

“Seconded,” Ratchet grumbled.

“Thirded,” Optimus said with a sigh. “That was funny, but… I think I’d rather not deal with an angry Instructor.”

You snapped your head up. “I’m not angry!”

“Kid, I’ve never heard your voice do that before,” Ratchet said, eyeing you.

“My voice isn’t doing  _ anything _ !”

“Her voice is doing that again,” Optimus said to Ratchet.

You parted your lips to protest, then decided to give up and sat where you were. “My turn, then, I guess.” You glanced over the potentials. Sari, Optimus, or Ratchet. Hmm. “Ratchet, please pick one.”

Ratchet was still giving you a suspicious look. “Dare.”

You reached up to rub at the back of your own neck. “I dare you… to tell a joke.”

That did what you’d hoped; immediately, Optimus let out a snort, and covered his mouth with one hand when Ratchet shot him a look.

“What, you think I can’t be funny?” Ratchet asked, putting his hands on his hips. “Hmph. Academy kids. Fine, listen to this…”

The joke wasn’t particularly funny, but it broke the tension enough that you felt your shoulders drop. You hadn’t even realized they were sneaking up toward your ears.

As Ratchet moved on to Bulkhead, you felt someone gently tap your back. Turning your head, you realized Bumblebee had scooted in behind you and was wearing a sheepish expression on his face. He’d curled up on the ground and was huddled behind his knees, almost like he expected you to turn around and start laying into him.

“Too far?” he asked, his voice almost a whisper.

You offered a sharp, tight nod.

“...Oh.” He dropped his hand from your back, and his head onto his knees. “Thought it’d be funny.”

“It really wasn’t.”

“..My bad.”

You let the silence hang between the two of you for a moment. Then, you sighed. “You should talk to him, Bumblebee.”

Bumblebee perked up a bit. “Whaddaya mean?”

“Be honest with him. Talk to him directly. That’s the only way anything’s gonna happen.”

He tilted his head. “...Really? And you’re okay with that?”

“It’s not  _ about  _ me,” you retorted, keeping your voice low as Bulkhead tilted his head back and finished off his second cube of energon. “Look, just… promise me you’ll try, at least. If you want, you can let me know how it goes, but you don’t have to.”

“But…” He sighed. “All right. I’ll talk to him. Maybe tonight.”

You glanced back at him, and felt a smirk tugging at one corner of your lips. “Even though you’re drunk?”

He blinked in surprise. You could see his face was still a little pink. “I’m not!”

You bit your lower lip to keep your smile from spreading. “You’re still blushing. Or whatever you guys call it.”

He reached up to touch one side of his own face. “For real?”

“I’m not kidding. Don’t worry. It’s cute,” you reassured him. 

Then you immediately wanted to crawl into a hole and hide forever.

Cute?  _ Cute _ ? Did you seriously just admit to Bumblebee himself that  _ he was cute _ ?

You heard Bumblebee's tell-tale “_Psssh_” sound, and decided to focus completely back on the game.

And you decided to keep your focus on it until Sari finally, blessedly, got tired of it.

“Scary story time!” she announced, spreading her arms out.

Bulkhead, whose own faceplate was looking pink, rubbed at his head. “Scary stories?”

“You always tell them during slumber parties!” Sari glanced at you. “Right?”

“Well, often enough,” you said, feeling agreeable now that Sari and Bumblebee no longer seemed to be teaming up on anyone. In fact, Bumblebee had been suspiciously quiet for a while. 

_ Maybe he’s thinking about what to tell Bulkhead. _

Ugh. Your own stupid heart was hurting and that was dumb. It wasn’t like you should be expecting anything.

You were different species.

_ We’ve been over this, brain. _

Pushing those thoughts aside, you tuned back in to the conversation just in time for Sari to say, “...dim the lights, too. Or better yet, turn ‘em off completely.”

“I’ll do it,” Optimus volunteered. 

“Okay, the rest of you, gather ‘round,” Sari said, gesturing to the group.

“Uh, we’re already pretty gathered,” Bulkhead said.

“No, I mean, bunch up, closer! I’m gonna speak in a spooky voice and you gotta be up close to hear it all.”

“Oh.”

The ‘bots crowded in close. You felt something touch your knee, and glancing over you realized Bumblebee had scooted in next to you.

Great, now you were going to think about how close you were the entire story.

He didn’t seem to realize it, as he sat with legs crossed so that his own knee pressed up against your entire upper leg. The warmth was nice, but very distracting. You made a point of looking up, and when you did, you saw Optimus looking directly at you.

Something about the look on his face made you blush and stare determinedly at Sari.

The lights went off. A second later, in the pitch dark, you saw Sari turn on a flash light.

“Right,” she said, aiming it at her face and hunching over it. “Time for scares.”

Elsewhere in the plant, you heard something scrape against the ground.


	13. Scared? N-n-not me!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You vs the factory: FIGHT. Then discussion of somewhat mushy/squishy things ensues.

Talk to Bulkhead? Talk to  _ Bulkhead _ ? When he’d been working so hard on getting  _ you  _ to focus?

Bumblebee couldn’t wrap his processor around it. You seemed amenable enough; in fact, you seemed to know more about his and Sari’s plan than they’d thought. He’d been absolutely sure you’d had no clue!

Yet there you were, telling him to pull Bulkhead aside and discuss things with him.

It did kind of ruin the fun of it; Bumblebee enjoyed sharing tidbits about Bulkhead with their shared ‘teacher’. Or playing video games with you. Or teasing you and watching your faceplate get red. Or--

Focus. Bulkhead.

Right. He’d wait until it was late, or maybe even until the next day, when you and Sari were certain to head home for at least a bit. Then he’d ask Bulkhead to do something about this whole thing.

Because while it was fun, he had to admit, things had to move on. Somehow.

Bumblebee couldn’t take this whole ‘limbo’ thing where things were left unsaid. The fact that you’d kissed Bulkhead’s servo and not his face had  _ done  _ things to Bumblebee’s spark. He was… relieved? Frustrated? Impatient? 

Which was awful, because usually when you were around, he felt more grounded. Which was why he couldn’t help but smile when he scooted up next to you and you didn’t pull away.

Sari’s story soon grabbed his attention, and he was grateful for a break from the loops in his processor. At least at first. Was it him, or was the plant awfully dark? And Sari’s face was creepy? And everyone else was so quiet?

He hadn’t realized he was getting so into it until something suddenly grabbed him by the shoulders.

He shrieked and flung his servos up to flail at whatever had grabbed him.

You yelped and ducked for cover; Sari, meanwhile, burst out laughing.

“Too sweet!” she cackled, pointing at Bumblebee. “Gotcha! You’re such a scaredy-bot, Bumblebee.”

Bumblebee wriggled and twisted about to see that one of the cranes in the plant had been powered on to grab hold of him. ...Oh. 

And also that he was being stared at by literally everybody. 

Aw, man.

“That was unfair,” he said, finally calming down.

“Aw, it’s all in good fun, you were so into it,” Sari said with a smile. 

Bumblebee got himself out of the clamps, and settled back in place next to you. You patted his leg and shot him a sympathetic smile. “You okay?”

“Yeah, nothing’s hurt but my pride,” he muttered.

Ratchet huffed. “It needed to get punctured anyhow."

Bumblebee turned to retort, but movement caught his eye. The same machine that had grabbed him was leaning down toward you.

You were eyeing it curiously. “Sari, are you doing something?” 

“No,” Sari said, and her tone made Bumblebee look in her direction. She was watching the machine move with widening eyes. “That’s not me.”

The machine reached for you.

Bumblebee grabbed you first, twisting out of the way just in time for the machine to slam itself into the ground.

You swore and clung on to his shoulders as he made use of his wheels, skidding several feet away. “What the hell was that?”

“What’s going on? Why is it moving on its’ own?” Optimus asked, getting to his feet. 

“We better check the control panel, maybe something glitched,” Bulkhead suggested.

The same machine lifted itself, and this time launched itself at Optimus.

“Whoa!” Optimus leaped to one side to avoid it, his own optics widening. “Everyone, move back!”

Bumblebee glanced around himself. Realizing he was near the entrance, he set you down on your feet. “‘Teach, somethin’ about this doesn’t feel right. You stay by the entrance and run if you gotta, okay?”

You nodded, immediately bolting toward the door, only stopping once you were right outside.

It was just as well, because in the next nanoklik everything went pear-shaped.

Bumblebee darted in just as machines came to life all around them. Something started firing off pellets; something else reached with grabby hands at anything nearby. Others still began rumbling ominously. 

Optimus Prime grabbed hold of Sari and deposited her by you. Sari made a face and started to dart right back in, but you wrapped your arms around her and held her back.

Heh, Bumblebee knew he could count on you.

Satisfied the two of you were safe, he turned his attention to the machinery. 

“Everyone!” he heard Prowl call from the entrance. “Stand… still.”

“Nuts and bolts to that!” Bumblebee called over his shoulder. “We need action! We gotta turn all this stuff off!”

“But--”

Bumblebee was about to cut him off again when something grabbed him. Actually, several somethings.

He squirmed and batted away a few of the machines holding onto him, but most clamped on and held tight, pushing him in on himself until he felt like a glorified pretzel. Losing his balance, he toppled forward on his faceplate… and was picked up and unceremoniously dumped on an assembly line. 

Which was moving.

_ Scrap _ .

He was trying to work out where and when to zap things to get them to let go when something went ‘thunk’ over his head.

The machinery holding him paused.

“Hey!  _ Asshole _ !” 

Oh no. That was you.

Bumblebee couldn’t see from his current angle, but he could hear something else go ‘thunk’. Then a third thing. He had to hand it to ya, you had good aim. 

The machinery around him whirred.

He took the chance and zapped at the ones holding his servos down. That was enough to free him so that he could get the rest of himself out of the hold he was in.

He twisted around to see you were running for your life back toward the entrance, waving your arms and shouting. He was pretty sure none of the things you were saying were allowed in polite company. Or in front of Sari. But the machinery followed, some of it trying to grab you, others trying to shoot at you.

You ducked around the corner. You were safe.

Bumblebee vented out some air. Then he heard a shout, and turned to see Bulkhead in a very similar predicament to what he’d just been through.

He rushed forward to help, but Prime got there first. Perhaps it was for the best, because before Prime could really start helping, he was dragged off the assembly line and up against a massive magnet.

“Why do we even still  _ have  _ this scrap lying around?!” Bumblebee shouted in frustration.

“Because  _ somebody  _ wanted to set up the TV first!” Ratchet shouted back.

“We’ve got to focus!” Optimus brandished his axe, getting into a defensive position. “Someone has to turn off the power!”

“I will,” Prowl said grimly. “Everyone else, stand perfectly still. The lasers are tracking movement. You have to wait until they move on before you can go.”

Bumblebee bristled. There the ninja-bot went again, telling everyone what to do. They had a bossbot, for crying out loud. They didn’t need this!

“Well someone’s gotta draw their attention then,” he said, purposely starting to move. “Which means one of us can do something useful while you play statue, Prowl.”

“Bumblebee, don’t--!”

Something rolled in from the entrance.

Everyone glanced over, machinery included. A can of something was being rolled on the ground, toward the assembly line.

One of the machines reached down to clamp around it, but grabbed too hard; the can exploded.

Bumblebee flinched back, expecting a bomb, but those closest were just hit with a spray of some kind of bubbly liquid. 

“Ugh,  _ sticky _ ,” Bulkhead complained.

More cans were being rolled from the entrance. Bumblebee saw that you and Sari were keeping carefully out of range, but tossing the mystery cans into the room to grab the attention of the troublesome machinery.

Well, most of it.

Prowl let out a grunt of surprise, and Bumblebee whipped around to see he had been snagged. So much for his ‘stillness’. 

But then he said something that brought Bumblebee up short.

“It’s up to you now, Bumblebee! You have to shut this all down!”

Bumblebee hesitated, taken aback.

Then, he nodded, determined.

~*~

You pushed the button on the bench that Ratchet had indicated, then turned to watch as he patched himself up, your brow furrowed.

It was… well after midnight, and a couple hours after the plant had decided to attack all of you. Your heart rate was only starting to calm down, but your adrenaline rush was still going strong. Sari had bounced back with a remarkable amount of nonchalant energy, and was currently keeping the others company in the main room.

Meanwhile, you were helping the medic recover so that he could take care of the rest of the crew.

Ratchet muttered out something rude-sounding in Cybertronian as the diagnostic ran. “Nothing internal? And I’m a Decepticon’s carrier. Pfah, what does this machine know anyway, maybe it’s still controlled by whatever that little robot was.”

You said nothing, instead staying by the controls and awaiting instructions.

Ratchet turned to you after a moment, furrowing his brow. “You still here? Might as well do something useful. Push that green button.”

You did as directed, and a panel opened up next to where Ratchet’s head rested.

He pushed himself up and began to use the machinery inside to patch himself up. You stepped back and watched silently.

“So,” he finally grunted, “when are you leavin’?”

“Pardon?”

He paused, lifting his head to fix you with a stare. “You saw what happened. Not even this plant is safe. An infiltration like that can happen at any time, and we don’t have time or energy to spend it saving you.”

You arched an eyebrow right back. “Bumblebee got me out of the line of fire, at which point I was able to distract the machinery enough for him and Prowl to shut down the controls,” you pointed out. “Was that something I shouldn’t have done?”

“You…” Ratchet shook his head and sighed, resuming his work. “You use your head, kid, that much is true. But you’re also a third of the size of our smallest member--”

“Double the size, actually.”

“How’s that?”

You smiled. “Isn’t Sari part of your crew?”

He hesitated. “Slaggit, quit interrupting, I’m makin’ a point here.”

“As am I.” You leaned back, careful not to touch any buttons as you did so. “I want to help you guys. Not just because it’s a paycheck at this point. You’ve taught me a lot, and I want to return the favor.”

He considered you. Then, he let out a grunt. “Grounding.”

“‘Scuse me?”

“You’re grounding. That explains it.” He went back to work, leaving you confused.

“Is the Instructor in here?” Prowl asked, poking his head into medbay.

You waved. “Everything all right? Did you take any damage? I can duck out if you need-” “That won’t be necessary, I just have a few cosmetic scrapes. Ratchet suffered the worst of it physically. And mentally, well…” Prowl shrugged. “Are you feeling any adverse effects?”

You played with the idea of a flippant response, but after a moment, just shook your head. “I’m shaken,” you admitted, “but I’m unharmed. I’m glad you’re okay. How’s everyone doing out there?”

“Optimus finished debriefing the others. Sari is doing her best to get this ‘slumber party’ back on track.”

You made a face. “Hopefully not with more scary stories.”

“No. She’s suggested nail-painting and gossip. Bumblebee’s taken to it, as has Bulkhead. Optimus is…” A faint smirk tugged at his lips. “Uncertain.”

You relaxed. “She doesn’t have a lot of friends to indulge that with.”

“Indeed.” He tilted his head. “Or with those other games earlier.”

You averted your gaze. “I hope that didn’t make you all uncomfortable. She honestly is just trying to have fun, and those are both normally games with peers--”

“Oh. That’s not quite what I meant. Actually, the whole thing was rather… enlightening.” He turned his head toward the medic. “Wouldn’t you say, Ratchet?”

Ratchet grumbled. “I said it before and I’m sayin’ it again, I’m stayin’ out of this.”

“I’m confused,” you confessed.

Prowl held up a hand. “Never mind.” He stepped further into the room. “Perhaps you should go out and check on the others, after all. I’m sure Bumblebee wants to ensure you’re all right.”

“Uh…” You glanced over at Ratchet, who was staring far too much at his own servo, working at a dent on it. “Sure? You need anything else, Ratchet?”

“Don’t break a leg jumping down. Use the ladder.”

“Right.” You did as directed, shimmying down the ladder by the medbay bench. Then, you trotted past Prowl, waving up at him as you took off for the main room.

It was a mess. The television, you realized, had several holes in the screen. It looked like the video game console had been spared, being low enough to the ground, but that would certainly explain why Sari wasn’t pressing the others to play video games. She was currently sitting on the couch much like you had earlier in the day. Bulkhead was facing her, sitting on the floor, holding out one servo to her while she painted. You watched, smiling a little at the way she stuck her tongue out in concentration.

“‘Teach!”

You glanced up to see Bumblebee getting to his feet from where he’d been seated next to Sari. He put his hands on his hips and frowned at you.

Somehow, you felt like you were in trouble.

“Okay, what’d I do?” you sighed.

“Nothing! A lot?” Bumblebee hesitated. You felt like you could see his processor running. “You did as we asked! And also helped? I don’t know if I should be impressed or annoyed!” He paused. “Maybe impressed?”

“She has pretty good aim,” Sari agreed. “You clonked a few of those machines!”

“That was pretty cool, teacher-lady, but dangerous,” Bulkhead said. 

You tilted your head. “That’s why I tried to stay out of the way."

“Also, you did swear in front of Sari,” Bumblebee pointed out.

You blinked, then laughed. “Is that why I’m getting the third degree suddenly?” Feeling relieved, you held up your hands. “For the record, then, I’m sorry. I swear when put under pressure, and machines coming to life to eat my friends is pretty stressful.”

Bumblebee drew himself up, deflated, then puffed out his chest again. “Yeah… well.. You… are awesome!” He pointed a finger at you. “And also don’t do that again?” The finger dropped. “But that was great!”

You and Bulkhead glanced at each other. He shrugged.

“Oookay,” you said. “So am I in trouble, or am I allowed to join the nail-painting party? I need to wind down after all the excitement.”

“I guess…” Bumblebee threw up his hands in frustration. “Sure! Fine!” He plopped down on the couch.

Which sent Sari flying, and a streak of the nail polish she was using splashed across Bulkhead’s front.

“Agh!”

“Bumblebee!” Sari yelped in protest. “Be careful!”

Bulkhead looked over himself. “I mean, purple’s not a bad color, but seriously?” He shot Bumblebee a look. “Get yourself together, buddy.”

Bumblebee adopted a chastised look, but went quiet.

You wandered over, uncertain about the energy coming off of the ‘bots. “Actually, uh… you know what? I think I might want to have a lie-down, if that’s still happening. Uh, Sari, have you slept in this place before?”   


“Huh?” Sari blinked. “You want to go to bed already? It’s not that late!”

“It’s nearly one a.m.” you said, checking your watch. Dropping your hand back down, you began to search around for the sleeping bag she’d tossed at you earlier.

Oh, good, your stuff was still safely tucked next to the couch. You gathered it up.

“You could probably just bunk in here,” Sari said. “It’s the most comfy with the cushions and stuff.” She paused. “Actually… if you’re going to go to bed, maybe I should try too.”

“Party poopers,” Bumblebee huffed. 

You took a look around. Bulkhead looked uncertain, and you could feel that nervous energy still coming off of Bumblebee in waves. Sari, for her part, looked ready to fight something.

So you took a breath. “Okay, I’m making a call. Everybody, get your sleeping bags, get the others in here, and let’s just hang out. Let’s just talk.”

Bulkhead and Bumblebee shared a look. Then, nodding, Bumblebee got to his feet. “I’ll tell the others,” he said shortly, and hurried off.

Sari, meanwhile, hopped off the couch and began gathering up her nail supplies. Bulkhead stepped out of the way and searched for his own sleeping bag... while also muttering about getting some of the nail polish off of himself.

Before long, the group was assembled again in the room. This time, however, everyone was sitting on or in their sleeping bags. Sari had good taste in products; it was warm and cozy, and you shrugged off your jacket while curling up in your own personal cocoon.

“This is a lot softer than our berths,” Optimus commented.

“You guys sleep on those metal slabs, right?” Sari said. “How can you? Isn’t that super uncomfortable?”

“Our sensors aren’t as, er,  _ sensitive  _ as humans’ appear to be,” Ratchet said. “Not on the default settings, anyhow.”

“So what happens now? We just… shut down for the night like that?” Bumblebee asked.

The group looked at you.

You crossed your legs in the warmth of the sleeping bag. “I thought it’d be good to talk before we did,” you said carefully, searching their faces. “A time-honored tradition of the slumber party is talking about deep subjects. Sometimes scary ones.”

“I’m not scared!” Bumblebee protested.

Bulkhead nudged him.

“Well, I am,” Optimus said, causing the group to go still. “Not necessarily from tonights’ goings-on, but… there is a lot we have to worry about.” He glanced around for a moment. “How far we are from home. Why we’re here. How long we’re staying. What our next move is.” He regarded you, solemnly. “The safety of the organics on this planet, as well as my crew.”

You nodded back, just as seriously. “That’s a lot to carry on your shoulders.”

“I was… pretty scared about tonight,” Sari said into the silence a moment later. “When I thought my key had done something wrong. Then again… I guess I shouldn’t use it to play around like that anyway. I’m sorry, guys.”

Bumblebee patted her on the back. His earlier defensive expression was becoming thoughtful.

“This whole thing’s pretty scary,” Bulkhead commented. “We keep getting thrown off-guard by what organics can do, can make. Like, no offense, but you guys are tiny. Like, super tiny. So sometimes, I forget what you’re capable of. And tonight was one big reminder.”

You smirked. “No offense taken. Though both of us are fairly normal-sized for humans of our ages and whatnot.”

He shrugged. “You guys measure height in inches, we do it in feet. Or meters.”

“Can we not talk about height?” Bumblebee muttered, half-jokingly.

“Sorry, pal,” Bulkhead said.

“I would hesitate to place ‘organics on Earth’ in the ‘scary’ category,” Prowl said. He sat on top of his sleeping bag, legs crossed, arms folded. “However, there are great and terrible things that are also on this planet… and out there, beyond. We have to remember to be on guard at all times. That is the reality of the current age.”

Optimus nodded. 

“Wait, what? When do you guys get to relax?” Sari asked.

Glancing at her, Optimus gestured dismissively with one hand. “We don’t. Not until every threat is handled.”

You couldn’t help but speak up. “No  _ wonder  _ you’re reeking of stress.”

Optimus looked surprised.

“You’re constantly either distracted, or you hyper-focus on something,” you pointed out to him. “And a lot of you guys sit hunched over yourselves like you’re trying to protect your sparks, even when you’re hanging out here.”

Prowl started. “I… did not realize we were doing that, but you are correct.” He made a point of adjusting his posture.

You nodded toward Ratchet. “I think I’ve seen you genuinely smile all of three or four times since I’ve met you. Not that you need to, but… it’s telling,” you said, as gently as you could. “And the rest of you, well… there’s a certain energy when you get snippy at each other. You need downtime. Like, real, proper downtime. To feel safe.”

“We don’t have the technology, and we’re all alone out here right now,” Optimus said with a sigh. “The rest of the Autobots are quite far from us and I get mixed responses from them--either threats to come ‘take care of things’ themselves, or threats to let us rust out here.”

You frowned. “That doesn’t sound like a very Autobot thing to do,” you said slowly.

He shook his head. “It isn’t. There are… factions. Where there shouldn’t be.”

“That’s always the way,” Ratchet grunted. “You gotta choose sides even on the good side.” He reached up to run the fingers of one hand over a certain patch on his opposite arm. You’d noticed it before, of course, but the way he was rubbing it now made you think he was remembering something unpleasant.

“...Fine.” Bumblebee’s shoulders slumped and he dropped his head. “I was freaked out, too. Not just ‘cuz Sari tells stories like nobody’s business, either.” He glanced at you, then back down at his own sleeping bag. “I was… I thought… someone might get hurt.”

Sari reached over to pat at Bumblebee’s leg. “We’re all okay, though. Even Ratchet’s all patched up already.”

“Yeah.”

You reached up to scratch at your own nose, feeling as though it was your turn to say something. “Um…” You let out a sheepish, brief laugh. “I’m going to have nightmares about being squished to death in a factory for a few days so uh, bear with me while I go through that.” 

“Join the club,” Bulkhead muttered.

“But in a twisted way, I’m glad I was here to witness this tonight because now I understand more about all of you. Where you’re coming from.” You glanced around at each ‘bot, before finally dropping your gaze to meet Sari’s eyes. Your smile grew. “And I’m honored you’ve let me into your lives enough to see even a small fraction of it. Good or bad.”

“It’s been a rough evening,” Optimus said, drawing your attention. “We’re going to have a lot more of those for a while. We need to work together. Listen to each other… as well as ourselves.”

You nodded. “Well said.”

Optimus smiled a bit. “I would say the same of you.”

“All right, this is getting mushy,” Bumblebee said. 

“Don’t you like mushy things? Or at least, squishy ones?” Prowl inquired. 

Something about his tone made you lift your eyebrows and glance over at him.

Bumblebee, for his part, looked baffled. “I’ve got _no_ clue what you’re talking about.”

Prowl held up a hand. “Of course, of course.”

You stifled a yawn. You tried to hide it behind a hand, but Ratchet noticed.

“All right, lights out for all of us,” he said gruffly.

“Uh,” Sari said. “I know you’re all big, strong, tough Autobots, but could we maybe… leave the lights on? Just for tonight?”

Ratchet regarded her, and something softened on his face. “Just for tonight,” he allowed.

Sari smiled up at him, then obediently crawled further into her sleeping bag.

You copied her, curling up with a sigh. There was even a built-in cushioned area that worked as a pillow. You were sure you’d be achey in the morning, but this was still a pretty comfortable way to drift off. Besides, surrounded as you were by a bunch of faintly humming, warm Autobots…

It wasn’t long at all before you found yourself drifting off.


	14. ...Oh. ...OH. ...Oh no.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get treated to breakfast, and have a talk with Bulkhead. Then Bulkhead has a talk with Bumblebee.

Just as predicted, your back was achy when you woke. Maybe you weren’t anywhere near retirement age yet, but you certainly were no longer a kid. Ugh. 

_ Then again, I don’t think I ever tried sleeping in a sleeping bag on a slab of concrete before, either. Lesson learned. _

You slowly blinked your eyes open. The lights were still on, but now morning sunlight was filtering in through the windows. The added light made it that much more clear how messed up the plant got from the attack the night before. Things spilled, broken, torn… it was going to take a lot to clean up.

You yawned, and slowly sat up. Sari had rolled in close to you during the night, and her sleeping bag was up against your hip and leg. She didn’t stir despite your movement. You smiled down at her.

Something gently ruffled your hair.

You glanced up to see a coffee cup being dangled just over your head. And beyond that… a black and yellow servo.

You reached up and accepted the coffee cup, your smile growing. “Bumblebee, did you go out for this?” you murmured, your voice raspy from sleep.

He beamed back at you. “Yep. Went to Burger Bot. You and Sari got fuel on the couch whenever you’re ready.” 

“You didn’t have to do that. Thank you.” You took off the lid of the cup and sniffed. It was pretty standard fast food coffee, but after the night you had, you were more than happy about the prospect of food and drinks immediately upon waking.

He looked pleased. “I know, that’s why I’m awesome.”

“Yeah, you are.”

He blinked, and vented out air, his smile fading a bit.

You glanced around yourself. “Where are the others?”

“Prime woke up first, I think,” Bumblebee said, glancing down at Sari. “He and Ratchet walked off to talk about stuff. Bulkhead said the sleeping bag was too soft, so he went to his room. Prowl’s probably off meditating somewhere. So I decided to get you stuff.”

You nodded. “I’ve got some cash in my wallet, I’m happy to pay you back for breakfast.”

“Don’t be silly, ‘Teach.” He reached out, and used a finger to ruffle your hair.

You fought down a smile and pretended to be annoyed. “Quit it, that’s gonna take forever to straighten out.”

“It’s fluffy when you wake up. Kinda like those baby birds Prowl likes watching.” He smirked, and withdrew his finger. “Also, much softer’n I thought it would be.”

“Surely you’ve touched Sari’s hair before?” You sipped at your coffee.

“I mean, I’ve felt it before.” He shivered. “Feels weird when it hits my neck. But 'hey can I touch your hair' isn't somethin' you normally ask your buddies. I mean, we don't even _have_ hair on Cybertron. Y’know?”

You smirked. “That’s true enough.” You had another sip. “This hits the spot. You eaten yet?”

“Nah, I wanted to go for a drive when I was recharged.”

“You sleep okay?”

He flashed a smile that wasn’t entirely genuine. “Fine!”

You hesitated. “You, uh, wanna--”

He started to get to his feet. “Maybe I’ll check on Bulkhead,” he said, a bit too loudly.

You held up a hand, but he was already facing away from you. You let your hand drop. “Bumblebee? Wait, please?”

He hesitated at the doorway, but didn’t turn back around.

“I won’t ask again,” you promised. “But… if you want… maybe bring your own fuel in here? I’m sure Sari’d love to have breakfast with you.”

He paused. Glanced over his shoulder at you. Then nodded. “Yeah, okay.” He offered a thumbs-up, then disappeared out of sight.

You felt movement, and glanced down to see Sari stirring. “Morning, sleepyhead,” you said.

She grumbled and sat up, rubbing at her eyes. “Wha timezit?”

You shrugged. “Morning. Beats me. You sleep okay?”

“My butt hurts.”

You chuckled. “Yeah, mine too. Bumblebee brought us food. Burger Bot.”

She blinked her eyes open. “You serious? Burger Bot for breakfast? That’s the  _ best _ !” 

“He’s going to check on Bulkhead, then maybe he’s going to join us and hang out while we eat.”

She glanced up at you, grinning. “Cool! Usually it’s just one or the other of us eating. We never eat together.” She paused. “Your hair looks crazy.”

You sighed. “Bumblebee thought it’d be funny to mess with it.”

She giggled. “He was right. Looks funny.”

“I’m going to need a shower. Potentially a haircut.” You paused. “But first, I  _ really  _ need a bathroom.”

Sari nodded. “Yeah, let’s go wash our hands and stuff.”

The two of you got up and haphazardly rolled up your sleeping bags, which were then dropped unceremoniously next to the destroyed TV. You went in search of facilities, which reminded you very strongly that you still needed to make them more than just ‘functional’ at some point. More than once, you’d pulled the teacher superpower of ‘holding it’ until after work with the ‘bots. But today, it simply wasn’t possible.

Once you’d taken care of business and splashed some water on your face, you felt a bit more like yourself. Running your wet fingers through your hair helped a bit, but you still felt vaguely gross all over. Likely due to wearing your work clothes for over twenty-four hours. Yes, a shower was definitely needed. 

When the two of you returned to the main room, you spotted Bumblebee and Bulkhead looking over the television. Bulkhead noticed you both first, brightening. “Mornin’, Sari! Mornin’, teacher-lady!”

You grinned. “Happy Saturday, Bulkhead. You get enough sleep?”

“Eh, like I told Bumblebee I like my own berth better.” He shrugged. “That sleeping bag was nice, but too soft and caught on stuff.”

Sari, meanwhile, made a beeline for the food on the couch. “You remembered!” she squealed with delight.

Bumblebee turned, smirking proudly. “‘Course I did, that’s your favorite meal!”

Bulkhead leaned toward Bumblebee, dropping his voice to a stage whisper. “You mean the meal she always orders, so you couldn’t possibly forget it?” 

Bumblebee shot his friend a look.

You followed Sari to the couch, and saw two identical orders of burger combos. You grabbed a cushion from the couch, then opted to sit on that on the floor to eat. “You guys bring your food?” you asked Bulkhead.

“Sure did,” he said, ignoring Bumblebee in favor of showing you a large oil barrel he held in his hand like a can of soda. “Need to fuel up properly this morning after last night. Feels like a bad dream, doesn’t it?”

You nodded. “Thankfully didn’t have any weird dreams I remember.” You paused. “I didn’t snore, did I?”

“You totally did,” Sari informed you.

You felt a rush of embarrassment. “Seriously?”

“You mean that sound she made when she slept?” Bumblebee asked. “Isn’t that a normal recharge sound for humans?”

“Not everybody snores,” Sari said, looking amused at your reaction. She bit into her burger, then talked through her food as she continued. “Sometimes people talk in their sleep, or sleepwalk, or just lie there totally quiet. Like me.”

Bumblebee canted his head. “You sure ‘bout that?” A smile played on his lips. “Thought I heard you making noises, too.”

“What? No I didn’t!” Sari protested.

You laughed and unwrapped your burger. It had cooled, but was still good to bite into. You let out a happy sound as you swallowed down your first bite, then went in for a second. 

The ‘bots wandered over, sitting on the couch. Once there, they drank their fuel and continued chatting with both you and Sari. You saw Bumblebee glancing at Bulkhead several times, and felt a rush of relief. Good; he was taking your advice last night to spark. Maybe once he talked to his friend, whatever happened, then you could get your own mind off of... Whatever this was.

“...plans?” Bulkhead asked you.

You blinked, looking up from your coffee. “Sorry?”

“Did you have any plans today, teacher-lady?” Bulkhead repeated.

You shrugged, fiddling with the coffee cup. It was mostly empty, so you took a second to drain it before tucking it into the takeout bag. “Not really anything exciting. I’m probably going to go wash up, do laundry, get some groceries taken care of. Y’know, boring adult stuff. What about you all?”

“Cleanin’ up here,” Bumblebee said with a groan. “Optimus has already sent orders through our comm link.”

“That sucks. Can I help before I go?” you asked. 

“You don’t gotta, there’s a lot to do,” Bulkhead said, waving a servo in dismissal.

“I know I don’t have to, but I want to.”

“You should take today off to chill. Maybe you could pop in tomorrow? If you felt like it. Or tonight,” Bulkhead said.

“Ooh, tonight, eh?” Bumblebee said, grinning. “We gonna have another wild and crazy night?”

“Better not,” you said. “I don’t feel like dodging that many questions from my mom.” You picked up a napkin, wiping the worst of the grease off of your fingers. “Thanks for breakfast, Bumblebee.”

He offered you a nod. “Sure. You wanna go now, or…?”

“I might as well.” You got to your feet and began to collect your stuff. “Sari, what do you want done with the sleeping bag?”

She smiled. “Keep it here! Y’know. Just in case.” She glanced at Bumblebee. “Anyway, Bumblebee, don’t we have to go do… y’know? That thing?”

Bumblebee stared at her blankly.

She gave a pointed gesture.

“Oh! Right.” Bumblebee straightened up. “That thing. Sure. Uh. Bulkhead, you mind driving ‘Teach home?”

“Nah,” Bulkhead said. “I figure we need to talk, anyhow.”

You blinked. “We do?”

“We do,” he confirmed.

Sari looked as though she might burst from sudden excitement. 

Bumblebee, meanwhile, looked like he had just eaten something sour.

“Well, in that case, I guess we should go,” you said. “I got everything. I’ll call or text about tomorrow, okay? You guys be safe. Sari, you staying or going?”

“I’ll stick around longer,” she said, waving a hand. “I need to help Bumblebee with the thing.”

“Sure,” you said, shaking your head. “See you guys later, then.”

“...See ya, ‘Teach.”

Bulkhead walked outside before transforming. You followed suit, carrying the bag of takeout along with the Chinese food from the night before. At least, what you were able to find. Hey, it was a bit less garbage for the ‘bots to worry about. You climbed into Bulkhead’s driver’s seat, and leaned back, sighing, as the door shut.

“So,” he said slowly. “I figured out what Bumblebee and Sari were trying to do.”

That made you perk up. “You did?”  _ So he knows?  _

“I just wanted to make sure you were aware that, uh…” He let out a nervous chuckle. “Bumblebee apparently thinks you and I should be, um. A couple.”

You stared at the dashboard.

This did not compute.

“Pfft- wait,  _ what _ ?” 

“I  _ know _ ,” he said, sounding exasperated. “I don’t know what made him think that was a good idea, but he’s apparently been plotting this with Sari for a while now. I just wanted to make sure that--”

You started giggling.

_ Oh my god,  _ that’s  _ why they were so excited about the idea of me kissing Bulkhead last night.  _

“Uh, teacher-lady?”

“Wait. You’re--” You held up a finger to ask him silently to wait, and composed yourself. “You’re saying that all this time, he’s been trying to  _ set us up _ ?”

“Yeah.” He paused. “You’re not upset, are you?” 

“No. No, I just… I completely misread things.  _ Wow _ .”

“Misread ‘em how?”

You shook your head. “That’s not important.”  _ Holy shit did I dodge a bullet. If I’d said what I suspected at all…  _ “Look, Bulkhead… can we agree that we’re friends?”

“Oh. Uh, absolutely, teacher-lady.” He still sounded uncertain.

“Okay.” You took in a deep breath. “I think you’re a wonderful friend. You’re smart, you’re artsy, you’re kind, you’re funny, all that good stuff.” You patted his dashboard. “I see you as a very good, very  _ platonic  _ friend. Not really as a potential romantic one.”

He vented out some air. “Oh, thank Primus. I was worried, since I saw you and Bumblebee whispering last night about ‘talking to me’.” 

“Oh!” You waved your arms. “No, no, that’s got nothing to do with this. It was about something else he needs to talk to you about. Needed. Since this is what was going on.” You dropped your hands into your lap. “So, we’re cool?”

“Yeah, we’re cool. And if Bumblebee or Sari start up this nonsense, we should start nipping this in the bud.”

You nodded. “I agree. Now that I know what’s going on--”  _ at least partially _ “--we should take steps to ensure they don’t push things too far like last night.”

“If I’d known it would make you angry, I would have said no.”

“It’s not your fault, Bulkhead. I promise I wasn’t mad at you.”

“I know.” He sighed. “Right, okay. Since we’re on the same page, let’s talk about what to do about it while I get you home.”

~*~

Bulkhead was gone with ‘Teach for way longer than usual.

Bumblebee tried to focus on his work. He really did. He helped move the broken TV out of the plant, he checked a few wires to make sure they weren’t too badly damaged, Primus, he even got on his knees to start scrubbing some of that mystery sticky stuff from the cans Sari and ‘Teach had thrown about the night before.

“Old soda,” Sari explained as she helped him. “Found a few six-packs of that, she thought it’d be a good distraction.”

If only Bumblebee could get his mind off of what you and Bulkhead might be talking about.

What you might be doing.

Ugh, why was his spark throbbing?

“You okay?” Sari asked, when he stopped yet again.

He flashed her a wide grin. “Totally fine!”

She looked unconvinced. “You wanna take a break? I’d suggest video games, but we haven’t got ‘em.” She brightened. “What about a drive?”

“Uh.” Bumblebee glanced at the door. “Don’t we wanna stick around? Hear what happened?”

“Oh, right.” She grinned. “Who d’you think will make a move? I thought for sure they’d keep being clueless, but maybe last night finally helped them figure things out--”

“Figure what out?” Prime asked, walking in.

Sari waved. “Watch out, Optimus, this whole area’s still super sticky!”

He obediently side-stepped around the worst of the stickiness. “Thank you for staying to help clean up, Sari.”

“Not a problem. I can use my key on a couple of the machines if they need repairing, too.”

“The machines that are broken up are the ones we don’t want or need repaired,” he said. “If anything, we should take them apart to look for useful components before we scrap the rest of them. Bumblebee, feel up to helping with that?”

Bumblebee jerked to attention. “Sure!”

Prime furrowed his brow. “You all right?” 

Bumblebee rolled his optics. “Why is everybody asking me that today? I’m  _ fine _ .”

“You’re jittery,” Prowl observed.

Whirling around, Bumblebee shot him a glare. “Do you mind?”

Prowl ignored that. “You’re as jumpy as if you had been the one to down that coffee, rather than the instructor.”

“Dunno what you’re talking about.” Bumblebee straightened up. “Anyway, helping! Scrapping components. Sure. Just point me in the right direction and I’ll get started.”

“Hey, what about helping me get this stuff off the floor?” Sari asked, sitting up to pout at him.

“One thing at a time,” Optimus said. “Bumblebee, help Sari out, then when you’re done with that come to me and I’ll point out where you can go next. Sound good?”

“Whatever you say, Bossbot.” Bumblebee slowly began to sink back to his knees to get back to work.

But the minute he heard a familiar engine outside, he jolted back up to his feet. 

“Bulkhead’s back!” he said cheerfully.

“He was only gone for a few cycles,” Prowl said.

“He was gone for almost an Earth hour,” Bumblebee retorted. 

Bulkhead pulled up in view of the entrance, then transformed. He blinked at the assembled group. “Huh, this is quite a welcome committee,” he said, sounding bemused.

And altogether far too calm for Bumblebee’s liking.

“ _ Well _ ?” he demanded, putting a hand on his hip.

Bulkhead turned to him, raising a brow. “Well,  _ what _ ?” 

Impatience sparked. “Did you talk to her or not?”

Bulkhead shrugged and walked past him. “Yeah, of course. Bit awkward if we don’t talk while I take her home.”

“That’s not what I fraggin’  _ mean _ !”

His faceplate warmed, but he didn’t regret the outburst in the slightest as Bulkhead turned to face him, expression surprised. “Bumblebee? What’s got into your circuitry?”

Bumblebee balled his hands into fists, then forced them to relax. He’d promised you he’d talk to Bulkhead. So he would. He’d make him understand. This was important. Extremely important.

So he walked up and pointed a digit in Bulkhead’s face. “What’s got into me? What’s got into  _ you _ ? It’s like your optics aren’t working or something!”

“Bumblebee,” Optimus began. Someone shushed him, for which Bumblebee was grateful. He was on a  _ mission _ , frag it.

“What are you talking about?” Bulkhead asked, searching his friend’s face.

Bumblebee waved both of his servos in the air. “I’m talking about ‘Teach! And you! It’s so painfully obvious but you’re not even  _ seeing  _ it. Do I have to spell it out for you? Is that what it’ll take?”

Bulkhead said nothing, watching him with the same neutral expression. Bumblebee grumbled, dropping his hands to his hips, and began to pace.

“Don’t you realize any of what’s been going on? Surely you’ve felt something,  _ anything _ !” He turned, seeing Bulkhead was slowly sinking onto the couch. Perfect. Marching over, he grasped his friend’s shoulders, looking him right in the optics. “You can’t tell me you haven’t felt your spark throb when she walks in the room. Or how warm it gets when she laughs. Or, or how soft her hair is?” 

Bulkhead’s optics widened.

Encouraged, Bumblebee kept going. “What about the feeling you get when she compliments you? That way your spark just flutters and you feel like it’ll burst right out of your chassis? Or that awful empty feeling that you get right after she’s gone for the day?” 

Bulkhead parted his lips, then… started to grin?

Was he not understanding how serious this was?   
  
Bumblebee shook him. Bulkhead easily could have resisted it, but he let Bumblebee shake his shoulders. “Come on! You can’t just sit there and look me in the optic and tell me you don’t feel  _ any  _ of that!” he shouted.

There was a moment of silence. 

Bulkhead was grinning as he reached up to pat one of Bumblebee’s servos, as though in sympathy. “No,” he said slowly, still looking into Bumblebee’s face. “ _ I _ don’t feel any of that.” He let out a soft chuckle. “But I think  _ you  _ feel  _ all  _ of that, Bumblebee.”

...What?

Bumblebee felt his faceplate sizzling.

He let his hands drop to his sides, staring at his friend. Bulkhead’s grin softened.

“I think this is the longest he’s ever been silent,” Prowl commented.

“I think Bulkhead broke him,” Ratchet grumbled somewhere else in the room.

Bumblebee’s processor was going lightyears per nanoklik.

Him? Feel all of that? For  _ you _ ? But… But wait, it was Bulkhead. His friend was the one who would get with you, and make you happy. That was the end goal, right? Making you happy. Making you smile. Primus, how he’d do anything for that smile.

...Oh.

Oh  _ no _ .

He vented out air so hot that the steam was visible, and dropped on his aft where he was, pulling his knees up to his chest.

Sari ran up to him, wrapping her arms around one of his legs and giving it a squeeze before peering up at him, frowning.

“Is it true?” she asked. “You’ve got a--a crush? On  _ her _ ?”

Bumblebee stared at her in silence.

“Yep, he’s broken.” Ratchet let out a sigh. “Damned kids. Well, at least one of them figured it out.”

Sari turned. “What does that  _ mean _ ?”

“It  _ means _ that Bumblebee is an idiot if it took him this long to figure himself out,” Ratchet responded wryly. “And now we get to deal with it while he figures out what he does next.” He scoffed. “Judging by how he hasn’t said anything for three cycles now, it’ll take a while.”

“Hopefully not too long,” Optimus said. “Earthlings don’t have as long as we do.” He rubbed at his own chin. “For what it’s worth, I can’t  _ officially  _ approve starting something like this with a local, but as long as we keep it on the down-low, well... “

“Somethin’ to talk about later, Prime,” Ratchet said. 

“Bumblebee?” Sari said, and the worry in her voice made Bumblebee finally snap out of it.

“I have it  _ so bad _ for ‘Teach, you guys,” he groaned, bringing his servos up to cover his faceplate.

“Tell us something we don’t know,” Prowl said primly. “Are you done tracking soda all over the floor? Or are you going to throw more histrionics first?”

“What do I  _ do _ ?” Bumblebee dropped his hands, staring pleadingly down at Sari. “Sari, help me out here, what am I supposed to do?”

Sari was still frowning at him. “Well…” She shook her head. “Let’s just… forget it, you can’t do anything right now. You should help me clean.”

Bumblebee ran a hand over his helm, letting his optics power off. “I can’t believe I didn’t realize it. It’s so clear. I mean, she’s so… so…  _ adorable _ , y’know?”

Ratchet groaned. “Oh Primus, here we go.”

“Bumblebee,” Sari said, more firmly. “If you’re not gonna help me at least get off the floor so I can finish up.”

She was stepping away from him. He slowly got to his feet, blinking his optics back on and making a face as he realized his aft was now sticky after sitting himself down right where the soda had splashed everywhere.

“I, uh… I’m gonna go wash up,” he stammered.

Then he fled, hoping that some water would help clear his head.

Because this changed  _ everything _ .


	15. There's help, and then there's "help"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You meet a "journalist". Someone's mad at you. Optimus thinks he's helping.

Saturday was quiet after Bulkhead dropped you off, with the vague promise to ‘talk to Bumblebee’ about knocking off his plan. You took a lengthy shower, got your hair in manageable order, and despite planning to go out and do some shopping you went to your laptop and ordered some pizza instead.

Once a friendly automaton dropped off your order, you spent the rest of the day at home, relishing the peace. You played comfort movies constantly in the background--kids’ movies you enjoyed, comedies, musicals with happy endings. No action, no suspense, nothing that made you think of what had happened the night before.

Your phone was oddly quiet, but you imagined the group was busy with cleaning up. You felt a bit guilty about leaving them to it, but just when you were thinking of contacting them, your mother called. There went a good two hours of your day.

By the time you thought again about contacting the ‘bots, it was dark outside, and you were loathe to leave the well-lit, warm comfort of your living room. So you cuddled up under a blanket and watched things on your computer until you drifted off halfway through yet another musical.

When you woke up, your laptop was in hibernation mode and sunlight was filtering through your windows. You reached for your phone to check the time. Past seven A.M., and no messages from anyone.

Huh.

You had another shower, determined to actually go outside and get that shopping done. You couldn’t live on burgers or pizza forever, after all. Then, you stuffed your phone and wallet into your pockets, and took off for the store.

It wasn't overly far, and not many people were out, so you hopped on the bus rather than take your car. That way you could listen to music and zone out, rather than worrying about traffic yourself.

This early on a Sunday, the grocery store wasn’t overly busy. You imagined most folks up at this hour were still having breakfast at home. You breezed through the produce section, got a bunch of canned things, and a few ready-made goodies. Before long, you were heading outside and toward the bus stop when you spotted a cameraman and a man with a microphone.

“Oh! Hey, there she is!” 

The man with the microphone rushed over, and the cameraman followed suit. You stepped to one side to let them pass, but to your surprise, they skidded to a stop right in front of you.

“Miss! A moment of your time?”

You glanced at your bags of groceries. “Uh, kind of in a rush here, guys. Did something happen?”

“We won’t take much of your time,” the man assured you. “Walter Winsome, host of popular daytalk show ‘Winsome Wonderings’. Surely you’ve heard of me?”

You blinked. “I don’t watch a ton of television, sorry.” 

He wilted a bit. “Oh.” He drew himself back up. “Well, we sure know a lot about _you_, miss. And would like to know more.”

“Excuse me?”

He rattled off your full name, and you froze.

“Why do you know that name?”

“You’re the teacher who was mugged at the school, aren’t you? Who quit to work for the Autobots?”

“How do you _ know _that?”

His lips pulled back into a satisfied smile. “I’m a journalist, miss, it’s my job to know. And with these being the public defenders not only of Detroit, but possibly the whole world, it’s integral we know what’s going on.” He nodded sharply. “Every little detail, no matter how small!”

You scowled at him. “Yeah, well, I’m not sure I’m up for speaking with someone I don’t know. Now if you don’t mind, I have melting frozen goods--”

“We can make this quick,” he interrupted. “Surely you can answer a couple of things. We haven’t heard much from the ‘bots in a couple of days, and they’re normally out and about in town when they’re not protecting us from things. Did something happen?”

You paused. He actually sounded a little concerned. You licked your lips, uncertain. Were you allowed to talk about what happened?

“I think that’s something you should ask the ‘bots themselves,” you said at last. “I’m off-duty on weekends, you see.”

He perked up. “And what is it you do during the week, exactly?”

“Support them in whatever way I can.” You shrugged. “Sometimes I help them find information for something, or I assist with things at their base.”

“You’re acting as their teacher, right? That’s why you quit your aide position?”

You smiled a bit nervously as the camera came closer. You were beginning to regret not driving today. “What can I say, it was an offer I couldn’t refuse.”

He nodded. “Oh, sure, sure. And which of the ‘bots is it you’re dating?”

Blood rushed to your face. “_ Excuse _ me?”

“Word from Captain Fanzone of the Police Department that you’re seeing one of the Autobots for some more personal, ah, instruction.” He held out the microphone to you, eager smile in place. “Don’t be shy! We don’t judge. Which one is it? Is it Optimus Prime?”

_ That’s it. Line crossed. _ “I am not seeing anyone, and Captain Fanzone is mistaken,” you said, scowling. “I don’t have time for this.”

You stepped around the microphone and stalked toward the bus stop. Sadly, there was no bus there, and the people waiting moved away as Walter what’s-his-face chased after you.

“But miss, we had an exclusive interview with Fanzone about the ‘bots just last week, and he said--”

Whipping around, you glared. “I refuse to answer any further questions. Please leave me alone.”

“You can’t expect us to just give up on a story that everyone wants to hear. Learning about the romantic side of the Autobots? The personal side? The _ intimate _side?”

Oh god. People were staring.

You juggled your groceries, at a loss for what to do. “I have nothing to share with you. Go ask someone else.”

Walter smiled at the cameraman. “A shy young woman, to be sure.” He winked, and glanced back at you. “We can’t possibly let you get away without hearing something.”

Looks like you were walking.

Tilting your chin up defiantly, you refused to make eye contact with anyone and began to march down the sidewalk, away from the bus stop.

“Wait, you’re not seriously just walking home? Just to avoid a couple of questions? That’s childish, isn’t it?” Walter called after you.

You gritted your teeth and walked faster.

Thank whoever was watching over you, because this time he seemed to have gotten the message and didn’t follow you. But when your curiosity got the best of you and you glanced over your shoulder, you realized he was heading back toward the grocery store at a leisurely saunter.

Great. 

_ Guess I’m never shopping there again. _

_And I'm sure as hell not using public transport to do it again, in case I get trapped like that._

_What a _jerk_, where does he get off demanding answers like that anyway?!_

You made it about a half mile down the road before it became too dangerous to walk. Thankfully, you were able to wave down a taxi that was able to take you the rest of the way home. You winced at the cost of the trip. Thank goodness for your increased pay.

Getting home was a mercy. You stepped inside, locked the door, and proceeded to check over your groceries.

Satisfied things seemed to have survived the longer-than-usual trip home, you put everything away, then went to your laptop to get your mind off things.

Clicking on social media was a mistake.

People all over Detroit were suddenly tagging you in things related to the Autobots. A few of them were even, you realized, speculating just who you might be ‘dating’. Or if there were other, more insidious secrets at work that you refused to disclose to the public.

You couldn’t help it. You fell down the rabbit hole to investigate more about what people were saying, and why.

About a half hour later, you clicked out of the page you’d been on, shaking your head and lightly smacking your own cheeks to snap yourself out of it. 

“This isn’t healthy,” you told yourself firmly. “Ignore it, don’t react to any of it. They’ll get bored and find something else to gossip about in like, five minutes.”

You got up to make some tea.

Then, a few minutes later, you checked social media one more time.

People were following your accounts in record time, despite you never posting anything about the Autobots or your job, ever. There were direct messages galore. You went in to change your settings to limit who could send them. There, that would help.

Then, again, you closed the page and put on a movie.

You checked your phone. Still nothing from the ‘bots. Odd; normally at least one of them would have contacted you by now. Or if not them, then Sari. 

Had something gone wrong with Bulkhead’s talk with Bumblebee?

Or, worse, had something attacked them again?

You worried at your lower lip in thought, staring at your phone. Should you call? Should you check?

Flipping your phone open, you sent a simple text to Sari.

**You**: Reporter bugged me for info about you guys. Everything ok at the base?

Flipping it shut, you proceeded to try and get your mind off of what was happening online. Another musical movie worked nicely, and soon you were humming as you made use of some of your groceries to cook an actual, nutritional dinner. With actual vegetables and everything.

It was no three-course, five-star dinner, but it was less greasy than pizza, and you were sure your face and stomach would thank you for it.

When you were sitting down to a plateful of food, your phone buzzed. Snatching it up, you flipped it open to read Sari’s reply.

**Sari**: We’re fine.

Alarm bells rang in your head.

Sari usually sent five or six texts in a row, often with smileys. After all, she didn’t have the same limitation as you did. She also tended to wax eloquent on the adventures she and Bumblebee went on, along with the others if they tagged along. 

**You**: I’m glad to hear it. The plant all cleaned up?

You set down your phone, but couldn’t stop staring at it as you took a few bites of your dinner.

Halfway through your meal, it buzzed again.

**Sari**: Yep.

Shit. Either something awful happened that she couldn’t talk to you over text about, or…

Was she mad at you?

You racked your brain, trying to work out why she would be angry. The last thing you remembered was her and Bumblebee planning to do ‘something’, which was why Bulkhead had to take you home Saturday morning. 

_ Is she mad that Bulkhead and I are not a thing? _

Sighing, you set your phone down and finished your meal. No further contact was made while you ate, washed up, and changed into pajamas, but just as you were climbing into bed, the phone rang.

Surprised, you picked it up and held it to your ear. “Optimus?”

“_Good evening _ ,” his voice came through loud and clear on the phone. “_I hope I did not disturb your recharge _?”

“Not at all, I was still awake. Everything okay at the plant? Sari said it was all cleaned up.” You sat on your bed, crossing your legs.

“_Everything is fine _ ,” he reassured you. “_The main room is all cleaned up, and we’ve found a replacement for the television--though we haven’t brought it in, yet. Ratchet is thinking more seriously about repairing that bathroom you and Sari tend to use, since you’re much more regular visitors than we’d anticipated and… well… Ratchet peeked in there and you’re right. It’s not optimal _.”

You chuckled. “I’m tempted to suggest we hire some specialists, but I don’t want to compromise the security of your base.”

“_It’s already been compromised, but I thank you for that _ .” He cleared his throat. “_Will you be up for coming as usual tomorrow morning _?”

Oh, shit. You’d been so wrapped up in your social media that you’d forgotten to prep for lessons. You glanced guiltily over at your pile of materials. “Yes, I think so.”

“_Excellent. Prowl will be by to pick you up at the usual time _.”

“Great, thank you Optimus.”

“_Have a good evening _.” The phone clicked, and went silent.

You closed your phone and set it by your bed, letting out a sigh of relief. If Optimus said things were fine, then that just confirmed one thing: Sari was indeed mad at you.

_ Well, I’ve had kids mad at me before. She’ll get over it. And I won’t have to deal with it much tomorrow, anyway. She’ll be at home getting tutored most of the day. _

With that reassurance, you let yourself fall back on your pillows, and it wasn’t long before sleep found you.

~*~

Prowl was the same as always the next morning, greeting you with a perfunctory, “Good morning, instructor,” as you climbed onto his alt form. 

“Morning,” you said in response, adjusting your bag to ensure it was secure before settling into place. “Have a quiet weekend?”

“No further excitement, if that’s what you mean. Yourself?”

You thought back to the weird interview. “I got harassed by some jerk with a microphone asking about you guys, so don’t be surprised if that shows up on a talk show sometime soon. I didn’t say anything about you, though.”

“Ah. Yes. Honestly, your anonymity lasted longer than I thought it would.” He took off. 

You kept a loose grip on the handlebars. At this point you trusted him not to fling you off. “Should I expect that more?”

“I believe so, unfortunately. Sari is protected, given she’s Sumdac’s child. Which makes you our strongest link to other humans.”

“D’you think Optimus would have time to talk about appropriate ways I can answer questions? I don’t want to inadvertently give away information I shouldn’t,” you said.

He hummed. “Your discretion is appreciated. I’m sure he won’t mind if you bring it up.”

You fell silent as the city whizzed by. The morning sunlight helped wake you, as did the cold air hitting your face. You were glad you’d packed more of those little pocket warmers; the forecast was threatening snow before too long.

As you rode into the main entrance of the plant, you saw Bulkhead bent over what appeared to be the new television, along with Bumblebee. The two seemed to be in deep discussion about which connections went where, but when you hopped off Prowl, Bulkhead turned and brightened.

“Mornin’, teacher-lady!” he called.

Bumblebee stiffened.

“Good morning,” you called back, waving a hand. “Wow, you already got a new TV? It looks even bigger than the last one!”

Bulkhead beamed, stepping forward. The ground shook as he did so. “Yeah! Pretty sweet, right? The sound system’s new, too. Check it out.” He pointed at the far corner where you spotted a speaker.

“Oh man, watching movies in here must be awesome,” you said, walking over to the couch and setting your bag down in what was becoming your usual spot. “The place looks great, guys, you really cleaned it up fast.”

“We thankfully had no interruptions,” Prowl said. “Bumblebee, are you stuck?”

You thought you heard a hint of smugness in Prowl’s tone, so turned to raise your eyebrows at him in question. As you did, you heard someone transform, and turned back in time to see Bumblebee shifting into his own alt mode.

Prowl gestured for you to step back, and you did, giving Bumblebee plenty of space to zoom by. As he did, you heard him blurt out, “_ Hi-’Teach-nice-t’see-ya-you-look-great-today! okay-no- _ scrap _ -I-fragged-up- _-” before he zoomed out of earshot.

You blinked, then coughed as some dust was kicked up in his wake.

Waving a hand in front of yourself to get rid of the worst of it, you looked up at Bulkhead, who was shaking his head. “What’s up with _ him _?” you asked. 

“I’m sure he’ll tell you before long,” Bulkhead assured you.

Prowl humphed, crossing his arms. “He better.” With that, he offered a polite nod to you before heading off, presumably to his room.

You felt a brief rush of disappointment. You’d been looking forward to a little friendly banter this morning, perhaps even some advice on how to best get Sari to stop being mad. 

_ Oh well, I can still talk to him during lesson time, maybe. _

With that, you went ahead and set up for the first appointment of the day: Optimus Prime himself.

Optimus smiled upon spotting you waiting for him, and made his way to the couch. As usual, the sight of him sitting on it made you want to laugh, but you managed to keep it to a smile. “Good morning, instructor. Good weekend?”

“Pretty good, although I had something I wanted to discuss with you. I was hoping we could talk about that, in lieu of our usual lesson?”

He quirked a brow, but answered, “That would be fine.”

Given how little you had prepped for him for his time, that was a relief.

You outlined what had happened, and your earlier discussion with Prowl. By the time you were done, Optimus was frowning, but it wasn’t directed at you. Instead, he was rubbing at his own chin with one hand, and hummed thoughtfully as you fell silent.

“I see. That can indeed be a problem. I’m sure that the interviewer meant well, and just wanted to get to know you, of course.”

“Well, him talking to Captain Fanzone and coming up with crazy, personal questions wasn’t appreciated,” you muttered.

“Personal questions? From Captain Fanzone?” he asked in surprise.

You sighed. “Prowl took me to meet the Captain one morning so that we’d recognize each other in the future,” you explained. “He… made some um.” Oh wow, was the room warm or was that you? “...Assumptions about our relationship.”

“Assumptions?”

Why was Optimus suddenly acting clueless? You nodded, trying to ignore how warm your face was. “He thought it was of a romantic nature, for some reason.”

“_ Oh _.” Optimus chuckled. “I see. How’d Prowl handle that?”

“Not well.” You smiled a little, despite yourself, before letting it fade. “But apparently the Captain has decided it’s true, even when it’s not. And now this interviewer wants to know about this thing that’s not even a thing.”

Nodding, Optimus looked even more amused, if that were possible. Dropping his hand from his face, he rested it on one knee. “I trust your judgment on how to handle these things, instructor. While your consulting me is greatly appreciated, I think you managed it just fine. If it gets to be too much, however, let me know. Oh, and… I’ll have a word with Captain Fanzone next time I see him to knock it off with the rumors. I’ll set him straight.”

You sighed in relief. “Thank you.”

“Was that everything?”

“That was basically the issue, yes.” You glanced at your watch; you still had some time before his part of the day was over. “Shall we get into the lesson, or did you want to discuss something else?”

“Actually, I had a suggestion for you in terms of what _ you _ can learn from _ us _.”

Optimus’ smile had changed somehow, though you couldn’t pin down how, exactly. “Oh? I’m all ears.”

“I know that Ratchet has you helping in his medical bay,” he said. “Perhaps going through some basic datapads about our anatomy will assist you in working more smoothly with him.” He shrugged. “It should also give you a good talking point for when _ you _ explain things to _ him _.”

...Huh. “That makes a lot of sense,” you said, nodding. “I’ll ask him about it.”

“Thank you, Instructor. And speaking of anatomy and by extension, humans...”

From there, the two of you got into the discussion of daily life on Earth for humans. You had just barely enough material to fill up the remaining time with him, before your alarm went off.

He tilted his head. “That’s odd. Bumblebee isn’t back yet.”

“Wasn’t he next for today?” you asked. “He’s not on patrol, is he?”

“Not officially. One second.” He narrowed his optics and brought one hand up to the side of his own head. “Prowl? Bumblebee? Report.”

You couldn’t hear the other end of it, but you could see the bemused expression on Optimus’s face just fine as he listened.

“Oh for--tell him to grow up and act like… Yes, I suppose. Bumblebee, don’t shut off this comm, you’re making her wait. Yes, she’s here right now with me.” Pause. He looked at you for a moment, then sighed. “Come see for yourself. Prowl, continue your patrol. Bumblebee? ...Fine.”

He shook his head, dropping his hand. 

You frowned. “Everything okay?” 

He blinked, glancing down at you. “Fine. I just forget how young Bumblebee is compared to the rest of us, sometimes.”

“Is he much younger?” you asked curiously. “He gave the impression he’s been around a while.”

Optimus smirked. “Oh, certainly longer than any human. And only fully-grown Cybertronians are permitted to attempt Boot Camp. But he’s behind the rest of us.”

“Huh. Do you guys take longer to mature, then? I mean, humans are completely developed the time they turn--”

“That sounds like something you should be asking Ratchet.” Optimus shot you a somewhat apologetic smile. “I am sorry, but I should be going back to my duties. If Bumblebee doesn’t show up for his time with you, go ahead and relax. Ratchet will be with you at his scheduled time, as will Prowl and Bulkhead.”

“Got it.”

Optimus rose to his feet and walked off. You watched him go. Despite being so big, he barely made the ground rumble, whereas Bulkhead made the whole plant shake under his pedes. 

You waited a couple of minutes, but when Bumblebee continued to not show, you opted to pull out your laptop and get some prep done. No use looking a gift horse in the mouth, after all. The sofa cushions and blankets helped keep you warm as you typed away. 

The hour passed by with no sign of him, and you felt a rush of concern. 

_ Could he be upset about his ‘plan’ not working out too? Is he siding with Sari on this? _

That could be a bigger problem than you’d originally imagined.

“Y’know you chew on your lip when you stress,” Bulkhead said.

Jumping, you let out a squeak of surprise before looking up to see he was watching you from the doorway. “Sorry, didn’t realize you were there,” you said.

Bulkhead chuckled. “How can you miss me?” He stepped in. “Bumblebee not show up?”

“Nope. Hope he’s okay.”

“He’s fine, he’s just bein' a glitch.”

“What?”

Bulkhead shook his head. “Never mind. You want a lift to see Ratchet? I’m headed in there, anyhow.”

You checked the time. You must have zoned out, because it was much later than you’d thought. “Sure; we’re due to meet about now, anyway. Thanks.” You closed your laptop and climbed into the offered hand.

Bulkhead carefully carried you into the med-bay. Ratchet was fiddling with a panel he’d opened up, connecting a few wires. You saw a spark or two, and heard Ratchet mutter what could only have been a curse in Cybertronian.

“What do you want, Bulkhead?” Ratchet asked over his shoulder.

Bulkhead set you down on the med-bay bench, then carefully sat beside you on it. “Teacher-lady’s here, and I’m here for that checkup.”

“Oh. Right.” Ratchet turned and pointed at you. “You. Get up onto the shelf and turn on that light.”

You grinned and did as you were told; this was part of the usual routine, after all. Less than a minute later, you were holding a light over Bulkhead as Ratchet proceeded to give him the robot equivalent of a checkup.

“Diagnostic seems to be running smoothly,” Ratchet grunted a few minutes in. “Let’s check your audials.”

Bulkhead rolled his optics, but winked at you and sat up so Ratchet could do so. You smirked a bit.

“Well? You gonna ask me questions or lecture me or what?” Ratchet asked you.

“Didn’t want to interrupt,” you said. “But since we’re looking at a diagnostic anyway, Optimus Prime suggested I ask you for information on Autobot anatomy.”

You heard two startled bursts of static from both ‘bots. Then, Bulkhead looked amused, while Ratchet let out a loud sigh. “Of course he did,” he grumbled. “What excuse did he give you for it?”

Glancing between the two, you shrugged. “So I can help more in med-bay, since you’ve got me doing some simple tasks anyhow.”

Ratchet paused to glower at you for a moment. Then, he said, “Even assuming I _ had _ a datapad for ‘bots training to be medics, there are two problems--one, nothing I got is laymen friendly. Two, it’s all in _ Cybertronian _.” He shook his head. “Optimus shoulda remembered that before offering it.”

You blinked. “Oh, right. Forgot. That would make it difficult, wouldn’t it?” You considered that. “...Hey, d’you think you or someone else in the team could write down the Cybertronian alphabet for me?”

Ratchet blinked, taken aback. “Why? Even if you knew our alphabet, that doesn’t mean you would be able to understand the words.”

“I might as well. Besides, while I’m pretty sure I can’t replicate your language verbally, it might come in handy to be able to master it on the page. After all, I did the same for you when we first met with English.”

“That’s a lotta work, teacher-lady,” Bulkhead warned.

You shrugged. “Just a thought. I know it’s not what Optimus wanted for me learning about you guys, but…”

“I got a better idea. Bulk, lean back. You’re my guinea pig today.”

“Oughtta make Bumblebee do it,” Bulkhead muttered, but he obediently lay down. 

“Right, since I’m runnin’ diagnostics, we can start on some simple anatomy and how things work. Pay attention because I’m only explaining each point once, ya got that?” Ratchet asked you.

You nodded. “Yes, sir.”

Something in him seemed to soften at that. Then, he shook his head. “Right. Let’s start with the helm, and faceplate…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a question. I've been posting other fanfic elsewhere similar in style to this one, but it's where the OC is named and it's written in 3rd person POV. Would anyone be interested in reading BumblebeexOC snippets?


	16. It's all piling up on itself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sari is indecisive. Bumblebee is irritated. You get a gift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who said you were interested in reading other work with a named OC rather than a Reader! I'm giving some serious thought to putting it up on this site for ya'll to read. I really appreciate the positive feedback. :D

Sari looked at her phone. Flicked through text messages. Found your tentative last few tries at conversation. Stared at them.

Then, with a groan, she turned off the screen and dropped her phone.

Her dad was going to have a big reveal soon--a theme park with dino-robots that were sure to wow everyone. Even someone from as tech-savvy a place as Cybertron was sure to lose their minds at seeing them. So, naturally, she’d invited the whole crew as soon as she’d heard… minus a certain teacher, since you had conveniently not been around.

The group had readily agreed to an outing, wanting to be on better terms with her dad. Which, of course they should, if they wanted to be closer friends with her. Sari had beamed, pleased, right up until Optimus had asked her if the instructor was also invited.

Sari thought she’d hidden her feelings on the matter pretty well.

Especially as she didn’t quite know what to make of you.

You were nice, she admitted as she kicked her legs. Smart, funny, willing to put up with the whims of giant robots who had decided to adopt you in as readily as they’d adopted her.

(Except of course Sari was more important, given she had the key and everything. Not bragging! That was just how it was, y’know.)

But this sudden deal with Bumblebee developing a crush on you had thrown her for a loop. Not only was Bumblebee freaking out about it, but it was suddenly almost all he talked about. They could be playing video games, or going for a drive, or watching people perform in the park, but he would practically vibrate as he asked questions, all focused on you.

It was as if he’d forgotten his best friend was right. There. 

And the worst part? He wouldn’t even own up to it. She’d heard the other ‘bots mentioning it when she showed up at night, their voices amused as if it were all some kind of joke. How Bumblebee froze or fled for his life the second you showed up, now.

“Ugh, I don’t want to think about this anymore, it’s dumb!” she complained.

No one answered her.

She sat up, surveying her room. Tutor Bot had let her be (thank goodness), so it was just her in her room. And Sparkplug, who lay “napping” under her desk.

Sari pouted.

Was it too much to ask that Bumblebee quit thinking about  _ you  _ and start thinking about  _ Sari  _ again? Were all crushes this awful? Was he ever going to get over it and let things go back to how they were?

Someone rapped at the window, and she jumped, glancing up.

To her surprise, it was Bulkhead of all people, dangling outside her window.

“Hey, Sari!” he called.

She smiled, jumping up and rushing over to open the window. “Bulkhead! What’s up?”

“Nothin’, was in the area patrolling and thought I’d check on ya. Can I come in?”

She hummed in thought, glancing around. “I think there’s enough space, sure,” she said, moving back. “Just watch your step, okay?”

“You got it.” Bulkhead took great care in easing his massive body through the window. Sari pretended not to notice the cracks forming on the window below; that was a problem for someone else. Right now, she was grinning as Bulkhead stepped into her room for the first time. “Nice digs,” he said appreciatively. “Good view of the city, too.”

“How’d you know which room was mine?”

“Bumblebee gave me an idea of which floor, so I just circled around ‘till I saw you.” He paused. “Mighta surprised a couple of your dad’s employees.”

She huffed. “Oh, don’t worry about them, they could use some excitement.” Pausing, she moved to the window to peer down. “Is Bumblebee with you?”

“He’s on patrol right now.”

She felt herself deflate. “Oh.”

“He said he’ll swing by after, though, if you want to hang out.”

She turned, grinning again. “Really?”

“Yeah. He said it’s been a while since you guys did anything new, and he wants to hear about these dinosaur thingies before we go to that park.”

“Ooh, I have just the thing. I’ve got a movie we can watch! You wanna stick around?”

He shrugged. “Sure, if you’re free.”

“For you guys? I’m  _ always  _ free.”

He smiled at her. “Thanks, buddy.”

“Wanna hear the newest album that just dropped while we wait?”

“Yeah, sure. You’re sure into this music stuff.”

Sari got the music playing, and the two sat, listening and talking. Bulkhead didn’t know a lot about Earth music yet, so Sari was able to teach him all about the usual rhythms on Earth. In return, he drummed a standard beat on her floor, leaving a noticeable dip where his servo had hit. She frowned as she listened.

“Sounds slightly off-beat to me,” she said.

“Funny, I was ‘bout to say the same about Earth music,” Bulkhead said.

“Aww, man, you’re listening to the new album without me?” someone familiar complained at the door.

Sari squealed and jumped to her feet, earlier resentment gone. “Bumblebee!” She rushed to the door to see him kneeling there, already anticipating a hug. She threw herself against him, and beamed as he chuckled in response.

“Whoa, it was just a patrol. You miss me that much?”

_ Not just because of the patrol, you dummy. _

Sari nuzzled against him. “Carry me?”

“So demanding,” he tutted, but obediently scooted into the room, carrying her as she was. “Oh hey, Bulkhead.”

“Hey, pal. Sweet place, right?”

“Yeah, she’s got the best view in the city from her room.”

Sari grinned. “Better with some friends around.”

“You’re so mushy,” Bumblebee playfully complained.

“That’s rich,” Bulkhead said, reaching over to elbow Bumblebee gently in the side. “Coming from you the last two days.”

Bumblebee hesitated. “Dunno what you mean,” he mumbled.

“ _ Anyway _ ,” Sari cut in firmly. “I heard you wanted to learn about dinosaurs?”

Bumblebee perked up, nodding. “Yeah! I heard they were super big and scary?”

“Oh, totally. And I have just the movie series to show you all about them,” Sari said. “Here, put me down a second.”

He did as asked. “I thought you wanted to be carried?” he asked in amusement.

“Hush, just wait a second.” She made her way to her own television. It wasn’t as big as the one at the plant, but it would do for just the three of them. In a matter of minutes, the first in a certain series of dinosaur-centric movies was ready to go. “Let’s watch this! It’s a bit scary though.”

“Pfah, I don’t scare easily!” Bumblebee boasted, hands on his hips.

Sari glanced at Bulkhead. Bulkhead winked, and she giggled.

It was good to have things back to normal.

~*~

Things were decidedly weird.

Two days in a row without Bumblebee coming for lessons, or to pick you up or drop you off. The second day, you hadn’t even seen him at all, with Bulkhead making excuses.

Your gut was telling you that something was wrong.

Sari being upset and refusing to contact you was one thing; you were fine with leaving the plant early so she felt comfortable visiting her friends without you around. And it wasn’t as though anyone else’s behavior had changed that you could see.

But you found yourself mulling over the last few things you’d said to Bumblebee.

Surely you’d just complimented him and thanked him? Wasn’t that it? Had you committed some sort of Cybertronian faux paus? If so, why wasn’t anyone else telling you what you’d done?

The absence of Bumblebee had led to a little good, at least; Ratchet had kindly provided you with a datapad with nothing but the Cybertronian alphabet on it to learn. There was a lot to cover, as some sounds simply didn’t match noises you could make with your mouth, so it was difficult to memorize and recognize those. But you pushed through, determined to work them out.

The night of day two, you said your goodbyes to everyone at the plant. Optimus was waiting for you in his alt mode to take you home. 

“Oh, yeah, you going to come with us to the dino park tomorrow?” Bulkhead asked cheerfully.

You blinked up at him. “Dino park?” you repeated curiously.

Some of his cheer faded. “Yeah. Sari’s dad is opening a dinosaur-themed amusement park. Like that movie with the giant T-rex. She invited us all to come.”

“Oh.” Ouch. Yeah, she was mad at you. “Well, I hadn’t heard about it before. I hope you have a good time!” you added, forcing a smile. “Is it going to be an all-day thing? I can just take tomorrow off and come back on Friday.”

Prowl and Bulkhead glanced at each other uncertainly.

“Wait, so Sari didn’t invite you?” you heard Optimus inquire from behind you. “That’s odd; she said she was going to tell you personally.”

You made a show of shrugging. “Maybe she wants it to be a robot-only outing? Who knows. I wouldn’t worry about it.” You picked up your bag and slung it on your shoulder. “So, Friday, then?”

“I suppose,” Prowl said slowly, watching you as you walked toward Optimus. “You really don’t mind?”

“Why would I?” You climbed into Optimus’s alt mode. “See you guys in a couple days. Hey, I’ll want to hear all about it, okay?”

“If you say so, teacher-lady,” Bulkhead said. He was wringing his servos.

“Good night!”

Normally, you didn’t touch Optimus’s door, but tonight you made a point of pulling it closed to end the conversation.

Optimus, thankfully, began to drive you home. And for the first minute or two, you thought you were in the clear.

“Do you think Sari is acting strangely lately?” he asked, just when you were beginning to relax.

You stiffened, then forced yourself to lean back on the seat. “You guys know her better than I do,” you pointed out.

“Perhaps, but she’s been friendly to you from the get-go. Did something happen?”

“I imagine she’s a little upset with me,” you said, “but it could be drama happening in her life that we don’t know about.”

“Upset? What for?”

“Oh, just ruining her fun with something.”

He hummed. “You’ve always been strict with her. She’s taken to you like a protoform to a carrier.”

“I don’t know what to tell you, Optimus.” You propped your elbow up on the window ledge and rested your chin on your hand. “Let’s just let her get through whatever’s happening. If it persists longer than a week, I’ll deal with it, okay?”

“And if I were to extend an invitation to you myself?”

“You’re very sweet, but I would decline. This is Sari and her father’s thing, and I’m not going to mess with her right to decide who to invite.”

He fell silent. You had a feeling he was unhappy with your response.

When you got to your apartment, he called your name, making you stop on your way into the building. “I don’t like this tension that has built up. If Sari doesn’t say anything, then I will,” he promised.

You turned and smiled, shaking your head. “It’s fine, Optimus. It’s just a theme park opening. Maybe we can all go check it out together later, if it turns out fun.”

“...If you insist.”

You said your goodbyes, and headed for your apartment…

Only to let out a squeak of, “What the _hell_?”

For sitting against your apartment door was a literal  _ mountain  _ of flowers.

Wildflowers, freshly picked judging by how several still had roots, with dirt clinging to them. All bunched together and left haphazardly all over your welcome mat.

You stared at it for a long time. Then you pulled out your phone and took a picture of it, for lack of any better ideas. 

After a minute, you edged forward and began to peer around, seeking out any flowers that might have thorns or any critters that might be dangerous.

When you found none, you carefully began pushing the pile off to one side. They toppled easily enough, and soon you had a few lumps of flowers around your door rather than one mountain.

You shook your head. “That’s so weird.” You paused, then, reaching out to pluck one of the yellow flowers--goldenrod. Almost despite yourself, you smiled, and gathered up a few more of them.

Whatever was going on, putting some in a vase might be nice.

You carried your gift inside, and shut the door.

~*~

“Are you excited? You get to see dinosaurs! In _person_!” Sari squealed, bouncing in place.

Bumblebee scratched at his helm, glancing around the park. He and the other Autobots had joined Sari for a mid-afternoon event being held at this so-called theme park for dinosaurs. There were lots of people in suits around, several taking photos. Bumblebee had already hammed it up for the cameras a couple of times. Especially because Optimus always managed to make photo-taking look and feel awkward, someone had to pick up the slack. Might as well be him, right?

“It’s cool,” he said, letting his hand drop. 

Sari beamed, not seeming to notice how distracted he was. “I know, right? My dad’s been working extra hard on the stuff in the park.” She turned, and pointed. “Oh, look, there’s Captain Fanzone.”

Bumblebee glanced over to see that indeed, the captain of the police force was marching up to stand not too far from where Optimus and Prowl were already waiting. Isaac Sumdac had asked the ‘bots to stand at attention during his big announcement. With that in mind, Bumblebee started to make his way over as well.

“Hello, Captain Fanzone,” Optimus greeted the human.

“Hello yourself,” Fanzone grunted, glancing up. “Prowl.”

“Captain,” Prowl acknowledged him.

“Where’s your lady friend?”

There was a beat.

_ Wait, what? _

“She’s not--” Prowl coughed, covering his mouth with a hand. “We’re not together.”

“Uh-huh.” Captain Fanzone shot him a flat, disbelieving stare. “Had a spat?”

“I do not know how else to explain this, Captain, but--”

“Flowers are a good call if that’s the case,” Fanzone plowed on. “Women like the fancy bouquets.”

Bumblebee thought to the wildflowers he’d gathered for you. You’d surely seen them by now. Man, it'd been a pain to squeeze in there and set the flowers right on your doorstep, but he figured your expression had been priceless when you spotted them. He wondered what you were thinking.

More than that, he wondered how you were doing. Ever since he’d realized what he had three days ago, you were constantly on his processor. And yet, every time he hyped himself up to talk to you, all the wind would drop from his sails and he was barely able to muster up a greeting. You must be so confused by his behavior.

He felt a stab of guilt at that. Then, a rush of confusion.

“Wait, are you talking about ‘Teach?” he asked.

Prowl covered his face with one hand. “I introduced her to Captain Fanzone. He has made… assumptions.”

“Oh, that.” Optimus cleared his intake. “Yes, I’ve heard it’s caused the instructor some grief. Captain, I assure you that I would be aware if there were anything going on, and there isn’t.”

“Really?” Fanzone squinted up at Optimus, as though assessing him. “Huh. Coulda fooled me.” He shrugged.

“You thought  _ Prowl  _ and  _ ‘Teach  _ were together?” Bumblebee said, his voice rising an octave.

“What’s the big deal? I didn’t say it was a bad thing,” Fanzone said, misinterpreting Bumblebee’s ire. “Jus’ weird. But I mean, hey, you do you.”

Bumblebee glowered.

“Bumblebee, not now,” Optimus hissed. “We have an audience.”

He was so tempted to say something, do something. It took all of his willpower to back down, and let his hands drop. He hadn’t even realized he’d lifted them as though readying for a fight.

But the thought! You? And Prowl? An item?

Bumblebee was quiet as Sari’s father, Isaac, made his way to the mic to make the big reveal. He began to address the crowd, and while he heard the Autobots mentioned, Bumblebee didn’t wave or smile for the cameras like he normally would have. His mind was now on a matter he hadn’t even considered.

After all, he’d been so hellbent on setting you up with Bulkhead, so the thought of you with an Autobot was perfectly possible. If it weren’t, he wouldn’t… well… _y’know_.

But the thought of you and Prowl bugged him, enough that he fidgeted in place as the event dragged on. 

It wasn’t like you didn’t get along; you were one of the few people capable of making Prowl laugh. Prowl had invited you into his room, a privilege that Bumblebee himself had yet to earn. And you were so smart, so willing to help Prowl look up any and everything about Earth…

Sari nudged him, and when Bumblebee glanced down at his leg he realized she wanted up. Ducking down, he swept her up with a suddenness that made her giggle. He smirked as he set her on his shoulder. She snuggled up and rested her cheek against the side of his face. Her hair itched his neck and made him want to squirm.

Made him think of you, and your hair. How nice it had been. 

_ Ugh _ .

He couldn’t take this. He  _ had  _ to talk to you directly, even if he felt like the ground might open up and swallow him whole for even trying. You deserved it. And he knew that Sari was annoyed he’d been preoccupied lately.

Even if he didn’t tell you how he felt, he could at least try to make things go back to normal.

...The key word being ‘try’.

“Bumblebee, look! They’re moving!” Sari said gleefully, kicking her legs.

He focused his optics, and walked forward to admire the dinosaurs. “Oh hey, not bad,” he said appreciatively. “They don’t look as scary as the ones in the movies, though.”

“If they did, nobody would wanna come,” Bulkhead pointed out.

“I would! I wasn’t scared of them.”

Sari snickered. “Says the only ‘bot in the room who shrieked when the lawyer got eaten.”

“Hey, people getting eaten is scary, I never denied that.” 

She laughed again. “Let’s take a closer look. I think the pterodactyl one can actually fly.”

Bumblebee moved forward again.

And that was when all hell broke loose.


	17. You Know Why

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get a call, then an anatomy lesson. Things seem okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's up, sorry I missed a week ya'll it's been rough over here. Anyway, hope you enjoy the update.

You were asleep when your phone buzzed.

Startling awake, you reached up a hand to feel around for it, grumbling to yourself. Glancing at the time, you winced. Three A.M. Then, you answered it. “Who the _ hell _is calling me at this hour?” you groused.

There was a pause.

“_Uh. Hey, ‘Teach. Sorry, didn’t think to look at the time _.”

You bolted upright in your bed. “Bumblebee?!”

“_In the chassis _ .” He sounded subdued. “_I wanted to let you know that I’m picking you up later. If that’s cool _.”

“I--that’s fine,” you said, your mind scrambling. “But what on earth are you doing calling so late? Did something happen?”

“_Actually, yeah. Sari’s dad made those dino ‘bots a little too… strong. Why he gave them the ability to breathe fire is beyond us _.”

“Are you okay?” you asked, leaning forward. “Do you guys need help?”

There was another pause. Then, there was a giggle. 

“I’m serious, Bumblebee, are you guys all right?”

“_No, no, I’m not laughin’ at you, I promise. It’s just I missed--well, never mind. _ ” He let out a sigh, calming down. “_We’re okay. A bit dented and scorched in places, but we’ll be all prettified before long. And we’re good for lessons tomorrow _.”

You tilted your head. “If you say so,” you said slowly. “So… you’re not mad at me?”

Almost immediately, you winced. You hadn’t meant to ask that so directly, but now it hung between the two of you, heavy.

“_Mad _ ?” He sounded genuinely confused. “_Why in the pit would I be mad at you _?”

Relief hit you hard. “You mean you’re not? I thought… the last few days it felt like you were avoiding me.”

“_Oh. Oh man. I’m a huge glitchhead. _ ” He sounded mortified. “_Oh, slag. I’m sorry, ‘Teach, really, I promise I’m not mad about anything. I’m just dumb _.”

“You are not,” you retorted. “But if you weren’t mad at me, was something else going on?”

“_That’s… something I don’t really think I can talk on the phone about. At least not yet _ .” He paused. “_Are _ you _ mad at _me?”

“No! I was just convinced I’d done something to upset you.”

He let out a soft, nervous-sounding giggle. “_Oh man, I’m totally fragging this up. My bad.” _He hesitated. “_Look, how ‘bout I treat you to breakfast on the way in tomorrow? As an apology _?”

You blinked. _ Breakfast _?

You thought back to a few days prior, when he’d gone to the trouble to pick up a meal for you and Sari both, and smiled at that. “As long as it’s not Burger Bot, it’s a deal,” you said, putting as much warmth as you could muster into your voice.

“_Really? Awesome! Okay, see ya in a few hours, ‘Teach _.”

“Sure, see you.”

There was a long pause before the phone disconnected.

You lowered it to stare at the screen.

Up until now, it had almost always been either Optimus Prime or Sari’s duty to contact you. You’d thought the others were just a formality. 

You felt a rush of warmth in your chest. Bumblebee had called you. He’d apologized for whatever was going on. And he was treating you to breakfast in the morning.

You lay back, holding the phone to your chest, and allowed yourself a giggle or two. It was so easy to just close your eyes and daydream, just a bit, about what it could be like. How maybe it could be a place where he could park and you could hang out, outside, just the two of you. How maybe it was connected to a gas station so he could find some sort of fuel for himself, so it wasn’t just you eating. No, it’d be the both of you, like…

_ Like a date. _

That word punched a hole through the balloon of euphoria that had been welling up inside you, and you sighed, slowly setting the phone on your nightstand.

Of course, it never would be. Bumblebee surely wasn’t interested in you. He’d been so keen on setting you up with his friend. Which was nice, in the sense that he knew you were dating material for an Autobot, but…

Clearly, not for him.

You were, at best, veering into ‘best friend’ territory.

_ Which isn’t so bad _ , you thought to yourself. Ignoring the way your chest was beginning to hurt, you continued, _ You get to be best friends with a creature from another world. And not only that, but teach him and his friends all about your world, just as you’re learning about his. That’s pretty amazing. You’ll be selling bestselling novels about this in ten years. _

That didn’t help with the sudden ache in your chest, though.

You lay there for a long time, staring up at the ceiling.

~*~

Around 5 a.m., you gave up and climbed out of bed to make coffee. With the promise of breakfast later, you opted to just get dressed before curling up with your laptop and browsing your favorite sites.

Two cups of coffee later, you heard a car horn outside give a brief, “beep”. Smiling despite yourself, you grabbed your coat and bag before heading out. As you did, you paused, glancing at the pile of flowers outside. You still had no clue who had piled them there, but you grabbed a handful of them to take with you. Hey, maybe the plant had a vase you could stick them in. If nothing else, Prowl might like them.

The sight of the little yellow compact car awaiting you made your heart swell, and you beamed, lifting your hand to wave at it. Not that Bumblebee could--

Just before you could finish that thought, an arm poked itself out of the passenger seat and waved back.

You laughed. “Oh my god, did you actually just do that?” You slid into the open drivers’ seat, settling in place.

“Good morning to you, too,” Bumblebee said with amusement. “Am I not allowed to wave back?”

“No, it’s just.... I wasn’t expecting it.” You bit down another giggle. “And good morning.”

“Heh.” He sounded pleased with himself. “Well, I could create a holoform, but I figured I didn’t need to make a whole ‘nother form just for that.”  
  
“A holoform?” you asked curiously.

“Yeah! You haven’t seen Prowl’s yet? He’s the best at it out of all of us.”

“I’ve never seen it.”

“Huh. Well, tell me where we’re goin’, and I’ll tell you about holoforms.”

“Okay.” You leaned back in your seat, buckling the seatbelt, and named a place with a drive-thru. “That okay? Do you need fuel, too?”

“Don’t worry about me, ‘Teach. I had something before getting on the road. Docbot’s orders.” He began to pull away from your apartment building. “Now, about holoforms. So basically, sometimes we’re on planets where we need to fit in, right? Like Earth. So we create these holograms that help us blend in. And that includes this ‘holoform’ I mentioned.”

You nodded, fidgeting with the seatbelt. “Okay, so you project some sort of image, right? Of what?”

“Well, since we’re on Earth, it’d be of a human version of ourselves.”

You felt your eyes bug out. “You can do that?”

He snickered. “Yeah! I mean, I haven’t really tried it, but it can’t be that tough, right?” You got the impression that, if he could, he’d be shrugging at you.

“Wow, that’s so cool. What does your human form look like? Can you do it now?” you asked eagerly, resting your hands on the steering wheel.

He let out a chuckle. “Well, uh… I mean, I _ could _, but I should be driving.”

You nodded. “Okay, but if you’re not going to show me your holoform, then I need to know what happened yesterday.”

“Deal.”

Bumblebee filled you in all about the dino bots that had, apparently, gone wild and caused a lot of damage. You let out a sigh of relief. Perhaps it was selfish, but you were glad Sari hadn’t invited you to that. With your luck, you probably would have ended up being squished under a dino foot.

“It was nuts,” Bumblebee summed up. “You shoulda been there, ‘Teach, you would have thought it was crazy, too.”

You decided to keep your opinion to yourself. “I’m glad you guys are all okay. Poor Professor Sumdac, though. Why’d he make firebreathing dinosaurs? They couldn’t do that.”

“Yeah!” Bumblebee sounded indignant as he pulled up to your fast food joint of choice. “That’s what I’m sayin’, like, they already had super sharp teeth and were way bigger than you guys, why give them fire, too?”

“Right?”

The window rolled down, and you broke off conversation long enough to order breakfast for yourself.

It was such a relief to be talking with Bumblebee again, as though the past several days hadn’t happened. While he was nervous-laughing a lot more than you remember him doing before, he kept the conversation going, even after you began eating your breakfast sandwich. The tight worry that had been growing with you uncoiled bit by bit until only warmth remained.

You were rolling into the plant far too soon for your own liking, and you let out a sigh of disappointment as you gathered your stuff from the passenger seat. “Thanks for the ride,” you said, as he swung the door open.

“Not a prob. Hey, I promise I’ll be there for our lesson later. I got stuff I wanna talk about anyway.”

“Sure. If you don’t, then you’ll have to show me that holoform thingy instead.”

He transformed into his main mode, and made a show of rolling his optics. “Pssh. Whatever.” He lifted a servo to wave, and began to walk off.

But not before you noticed his face was pink, like it had been when he was drinking.

You didn’t have time to ponder that, however, as just then Optimus approached you. “Ah, instructor, good morning.”

You glanced up at him. “Morning, Optimus. Heard from Bumblebee you guys had a rough night again.”

“Yeah, we were out pretty late. But I’m ready to talk about our usual lesson with you.”

“Great.” You paused, then held up your handful of flowers. “Before that, though, think we could find somewhere to put these?”

Optimus blinked, and knelt down to be closer to your level. “Those look nice. Flowers?”

You nodded. “Someone left a ton of them in front of my door. This is only a small amount, but I didn’t want them to go to waste. I thought they’d add some nice color here.”

He let out a chuckle. “That’s very kind of you. You said someone left them at your place? Did they leave a note?”

“Nope. It was almost like a gardener decided my door was a compost bin and chucked all their unwanted flowers there. Shame, too, since they’re all pretty.”

“Well, let’s find somewhere to put them. If nothing else, Prowl might have a container.”

You soon found a not-quite-appropriate bowl to stick them in with some water, and set that on the table near the television. Optimus seemed amused by the whole thing, but only commented that it “looked nice”.

“If you still have other flowers, you are welcome to bring them here,” he told you.

“I’ll think about it, if they’re in good condition,” you promised. “How about that lesson?”

The first two lessons--first with Optimus, then with Bulkhead--went as usual. You were perhaps more bouncy than usual, but let yourself enjoy the cheer that had filled you.

You and Bumblebee were okay. You were back on good terms.

When it was Ratchet’s turn, Bulkhead again offered to carry you in to the medbay. You agreed, and the two of you were talking about art on the way in when something hit the wall next to your head.

“_ Augh _! What the--!” you yelped, covering your head with your hands.

Bulkhead drew you in close to his frame. “Bumblebee! Watch what you’re throwing!” he said reprovingly.

You peeked through your arms.

Bumblebee was on the medical bay table today, and while nothing seemed wrong, he was certainly upset. He was curled up with his knees to his chest, scowling at Ratchet, a wrench in one hand. When he spotted you, however, some of the fight went out of him and he looked sheepish.

“You done?” Ratchet grunted, sounding unaffected.

Bumblebee scowled at him. “This isn’t fair.”

“Ratchet isn’t picking on you.” Bulkhead made his way closer, now that nothing else was being thrown. “I did it the other day.”

“I’m picking on him a little bit,” Ratchet corrected him. 

“What’s happening?” you asked.

Ratchet glanced at you. “Your anatomy lesson. You get a pop quiz, and then we’re moving to the next parts.”

Bumblebee whined. “Why me?”

“You know why.” 

“I hate this and I hate you.”

“If he doesn’t want to do it, we could just talk or use diagrams?” you said. Bulkhead set you on the edge of the med-bay exam table. You flashed him a smile of thanks before looking up at Ratchet.

“Hands-on is always best with these sorts of things,” was all Ratchet said. “Bumblebee, set the wrench down.”

Bumblebee vented out some air, but did as he was told.

Bulkhead chuckled. “It’s for your own good,” Bulkhead told Bumblebee, patting him on the shoulder. “See ya later, teacher-lady.”

“Yeah, later,” you said, watching him go.

“You gonna gawk at the door all day or are we going to get started?” Ratchet asked.

“Oh!” You scrambled up next to where Bumblebee was sitting. With him hunched over and you standing upright, you just about matched in height. “Right, I’m ready.”

“All right. I’m gonna point out different parts on Bumblebee and you’re gonna name ‘em. Let’s start easy.” He reached out to flick one of Bumblebee’s horns, making the younger ‘bot flinch and yelp in protest.

“Hey, easy on the horns!”

Ratchet ignored him, and began to point out different parts of the faceplate to you. You dutifully parroted back the parts’ names. You’d been calling the different bits the human equivalent up until now; glossa for tongue, dentae for teeth, optical ridge for brow… it was a lot to remember, but beyond one or two mistakes you mostly got the answers correct. Bumblebee looked impressed by the time Ratchet finished up.

“Hmph,” Ratchet grunted when you were done. “Gotta memorize those two you forgot.”

“I will,” you said, hiding a smile. “I’ll practice.”

“You better. Now, we’re gonna run through parts of the main chassis.”

“Whoa, what?” Bumblebee protested. “I thought we were doing servos!”

Ratchet shot the other ‘bot a look. “Lie down, kid.”

Bumblebee shot you a look of appeal. You shrugged helplessly. It wasn’t like you were going to go against a doctor’s orders, especially when he was trying to help you.

Besides, the ever-present pink on Bumblebee’s faceplate was kind of cute.

Venting out a sigh, Bumblebee held up his hands in surrender and dropped back. “Be gentle with me, Docbot.”

Ratchet rolled his optics, and began to walk you through what amounted to Bumblebee’s upper torso. While some parts were unique to Bumblebee, you found that glancing at Ratchet for comparison helped you see how certain parts fit in different ways on other Autobots, particularly the plating.

“Now this is fairly important to maintain,” Ratchet pointed out, indicating the plating around Bumblebee’s middle. “You get particles of anything in there, it’s a pain in the aft to clean.”

“It’s not that bad,” Bumblebee piped up. “If you go into your alt mode, sometimes it’s easier to access those spots.”

“If your servos can reach those spots in your alt mode,” Ratchet said. 

You tilted your head. “What about car washes?” 

“Car what-now?”

You glanced up at Ratchet. “Car washes. They only take a few minutes, but they might be a good way to get a quick wash-down before, say, returning to the plant. They’re cheap, too.”

“Haven’t tried those yet, that sounds handy,” Bumblebee said.

“Right, whatever, you go and experiment with that if you’re feeling it,” Ratchet said, recapturing your attention. “Bumblebee, move around a bit, let her see how your plating shifts.”

The blush returned to Bumblebee’s face, but he obediently squirmed around a bit.

You watched, feeling your own face get hot. “I, uh, can see how dirt can get caught up there,” you muttered.

“Hmph. Any questions?”

You looked over Bumblebee for a moment. Then, you shook your head. “I think I’m good.”

“Fine. Then switch places.”

Both of you jerked your heads up. 

“Wait, what?” Bumblebee yelped.

“You heard me. She’s been helpin’ me figure out human anatomy in exchange for these lessons. You might as well stick around for them.”

Bumblebee glared at Ratchet.

You shrugged, trying to play off your sudden nervousness. When Bulkhead had peered at your head, it hadn’t felt intrusive. For some reason, the thought of Bumblebee poking and prodding at you made you feel, well…

_ “For some reason.” Hah. You know why you’re feeling this way. _

“It’s fine, Bumblebee. I don’t mind,” you said, patting him on the arm. 

Glancing at you, he nodded uncertainly, then hopped off of the medical table. You sat down where he’d been, feeling dwarfed by these two robots.

“Okay. Let’s just go bit by bit,” you said. You pointed at your neck. “As you can see, we don’t have neck plating, so this is a very vulnerable area for humans…”

You proceeded to point out the same spots on yourself that Ratchet had pointed out on Bumblebee. Despite usually being the class clown, Bumblebee was quiet, staring at you with an intensity that meant the blush never quite left your face. Ratchet, meanwhile, stopped you occasionally to ask questions. And while he asked them all matter-of-factly, you couldn't help but feel even more put on the spot as you tried to answer... especially when he was focusing on, say, your chest.

When you'd answered, Ratchet would nod, satisfied. You'd also hear a telltale “_ psssh _” sound from Bumblebee, but whenever you glanced at him, he would be averting his optics.

You moved on as quickly as you could, calling things off after you made it to your stomach. Ratchet seemed content with that, too, but Bumblebee chose to raise a hand then to catch your attention.

“So, is that why humans wear clothes?” he asked, quirking a brow--_ optical ridge _, you corrected yourself. “To protect the vulnerable areas?”

“Sometimes,” you said. “But mostly it’s to keep us warm. Oh, and for modesty, I guess. In most places on Earth it isn’t kosher to go around without clothes.”

Bumblebee blinked. “Should _ we _be wearing clothes?” 

You smirked, but shook your head. “I don’t think it’s necessary. The way you guys are designed, it looks like you are wearing something, anyway, so most humans wouldn’t even think of that.” You paused. “I’m guessing ‘clothes’ or fashion as we know it on earth isn’t as big a thing on Cybertron?”

“Well, we _ do _like decals,” Bumblebee said. “And some paint jobs are more popular than others. And helm decorations and accessories are a big deal, especially for younger ‘bots.”

Ratchet reached up to feel at his broken horn.

Pretending you didn’t see that, you nodded. “Accessories are big for humans, too. Like jewelry.”

“Like the shiny stuff people wear around their arms and necks?” You nodded, and Bumblebee plowed on. “I don’t see you wearing that stuff, though.”

“Given that I’m running around a lot, I don’t want to damage my nicer things.” You smiled. “I got in the habit of not wearing any of it thanks to dealing with kids. Younger ones especially will yank on anything they can grab hold of.”

“That much is universal,” Ratchet grumbled. “And this is gettin’ into territory not related to our lesson.”

You blinked, turning back to him. “Oh, sorry! Did you have another question?”

“Nah.” He waved a hand. “I think our time’s up anyhow. Aren’t you supposed to go fuel up?”

You glanced at the time. “I guess so. Thanks, Ratchet.”

“Remember those two parts we talked about, I’m gonna quiz you Monday.”

You grinned. “Yessir.”

You made your way toward the ladder, but Bumblebee held out his servos to you with a sheepish smile. “Uh, wanna ride? I can get you back to your bag and your lunch.”

Hesitating, you glanced between the two ‘bots. Then, you nodded, and made your way over to him. “Sure, that’d be nice.”

Bumblebee’s manner of holding you was so different compared to the other ‘bots. Granted, Prowl never carried you unless it was in his motorcycle form, but the rest of them tended to hold you in one servo with little difficulty. You imagined Bumblebee could, too, but he seemed to prefer to cradle you.

You wished you weren’t so red-faced, but pretended that all was well as you curled up against his warm chassis. You heard him venting steam, and glanced up, but he was already heading out, facing directly ahead.

Was your own awkwardness making him uncomfortable?

As you left the medical bay, you heard Ratchet grumble a, “_ Kids _.”

“So, uh,” you said, casting about in your head for something to talk about. “You said you wanted to ask me something? Or say something?”

“I did?” Bumblebee said, coming to a stop.

“That’s what you said this morning.”

“Oh. I guess I did. Heh.” He vented out more air as he carefully set you down on the ground. As you peered up at him, he shot you another sheepish look. “I forgot, I guess. I’ll let you know after lunch, how’s that sound?”

“That’s fine.” You patted his arm, which was still in reach. “Though if you don’t want to talk about it after all…”

“Oh, I _ definitely _want to talk about it. It’s like, pretty important.” He straightened up, rubbing the back of his helm with one servo, optics still on you. “Like, probably the most important thing ever?”

You felt your heart leap up in your throat. “What do you mean?”

“Well…” He let out a nervous laugh. “I, uh, can’t say it yet so _ please-don’t-make-me-’cuz-I’m-not-ready-but-I-wanna _\--”

“Whoa!” You held up your hands to placate him. “Easy, I didn’t mean to make you freak out.”

He froze in place, still watching you. You could almost see his processor going in circles as he considered.

Then, his optics flicked to the table.

He brightened. “Nice flowers.”

You blinked at the sudden change in conversation. “Thanks. Someone left ‘em at my door a day or two ago. I put some in a vase at home, but didn’t have room for the rest.” Still watching him, you walked over to your bag to pull out your lunchbox.

He smiled. “I’m glad you liked ‘em.”

You paused, your hand still in your work bag. “Wait.” You looked up, eyes wide. “_ You _ put those there?”

Bumblebee chuckled. “Yeah! I mean, I’m not sure if I did it exactly the way that Earthlings would, but I remember someone telling me flowers are a good gift.”

Your head began to spin.

_ Bumblebee _had been the one to leave that mountain of flowers? Of course, it made sense now--he’d been the one to suggest that literal ton of apples, after all. He wouldn’t do things by halves.

“That was… super thoughtful, Bumblebee. I have to admit, I had no idea what was going on when I saw them.” You smiled. “But, uh, like I said, I don’t have the space for them at home. D’you think I could bring them here and put them up around the plant?”

He blinked. “You’d wanna do that?”

“Sure. They’re beautiful, after all, and I hate that I’ve had to leave them where they are.”

“Oh.” He was starting to grin. “Seriously? I can bring ‘em here tonight after I drop you off.”

“I thought it was my turn to drive the kid,” Ratchet said, emerging from the medical bay.

Bumblebee turned, hands on his hips. “Yeah, but do you really wanna get dirt all over you after that lecture you gave?” he retorted.

Ratchet glanced at the bowl of flowers, then at you. “You all right with this guy driving you twice in one day?”

You nodded. “I don’t mind, if he isn’t busy. I thought he might wanna hang out with Sari.”

“Sari won’t mind,” Bumblebee said with an air of authority. “I bet she misses you, it’s been a few days.”

You and Ratchet glanced at each other.

Pulling your lunch box out, you climbed up onto the couch and curled up in the pile of cushions. “Well, since it’s the weekend again, we could drive them back over and I could start finding places for the flowers tonight?” you suggested. “If you guys don’t have other plans, that is.”

Bumblebee beamed. “That’s fine!”

“Doesn’t bother me,” Ratchet said with a shrug.

You smiled. “Great. I’ll need a few minutes to talk with my mom at some point, but otherwise I’ll be free.”

“Oh, right, you talk to her on Fridays.” Bumblebee sat on the couch nearby, watching as you opened your lunchbox and bit into your sandwich. “Can we say hi this time?”

You blinked up at him, surprised. “Do joou-” You paused, chewed, and swallowed. “Do you _ want _to?” you asked, once your mouth was no longer full.

“Sure! Why not?” He leaned forward, winking. “Then you can show off your cool Autobot friends.”

“I mean, sure,” you said slowly, “but are you sure Optimus would be okay with that?”

“Why wouldn’t he be?”

“Public already knows you’re hanging out with us, kid,” Ratchet pointed out. “Besides, talkin’ to us direct-like will probably help your carrier worry less about any rumors that’ve sprung up.”

You thought about Prowl and Captain Fanzone, and nodded. “That’s a very good point.”

“Right. I’m gonna go check on Prime. You kids stay outta trouble.” Ratchet began to wander off.

“We won’t,” Bumblebee said, flashing a grin at you.

You giggled, and tucked into your food.


	18. Clearing the Air

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The 'bots meet your mother. You have a private talk with Prowl. Sari's back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Reader's mother gets a name because there are only so many ways to get around names, and I am using most of them for ya'll.

Your laptop started playing music, making you jump, and you turned away from the television to peer at it.

“Mom’s calling,” you said, leaning forward to hit the ‘accept call’ button.

All conversation in the room ceased, and Prowl muted the television.

You’d been surprised to discover that not only Bumblebee, but the entire team had seemed keen on speaking to your mother. You were seated on the couch, with Bumblebee on one side and Prowl on the other. Optimus and Ratchet loomed over the back of the sofa, and Bulkhead sat off to one side of the sofa, craning his neck to see the little screen.

Sari was Miss Not Appearing Today, so you’d had the evening to drive home, gather up the flowers, and come back. The entire plant was now covered in little bowls and tupperware containers filled with water and flowers. Prowl had volunteered to help, to your pleasant surprise, and you’d gotten into a discussion about the best way to care for flowers to lengthen their time alive once they’d been picked. He’d taken some of the flowers that still had roots and dirt into his own room, saying he would try to preserve them.

For the flowers that had already wilted, Bulkhead had asked to take them, saying he’d dry and press them for some art project or another. 

The plant, in short, smelled wonderful, and Bumblebee hadn’t stopped beaming since the second you rolled back into the base that evening.

Your mom’s face came up on the screen. “Honey, you there?”

“Hi, mom. Can you see and hear okay? I’m using my phone as a tether.”

“No kidding? You’re coming through loud and clear. How you doing, kiddo?”

You smiled. “Just fine. You’re looking good.”

You hadn’t realized how much you missed her until just this moment. Her eyes were bright, her hair looked shorter than the last time you saw it, held back with a heavy-duty headband. She looked tired, but when you complimented her, her smile grew.

“So do you. Where are you? This doesn’t look like your apartment.”

“Hi, teacher-lady’s mom!” Bulkhead chirped.

There was a beat.

“Teacher-lady?” your mom echoed.

Bumblebee leaned into frame, his head right above your shoulder. “That’s just Bulkhead’s nickname for her. Hiya! I’m Bumblebee.”

Your mom’s eyes bugged out.

“Are you… you must be..” She cleared her throat. “Hello. I’m Joanna, but you can just call me Jo.”

“I forgot to mention that the Autobots wanted to meet you,” you said, as Bumblebee wiggled his fingers in greeting at her. You fought down the urge to laugh at your mother’s expression; no wonder Bumblebee had been snickering at you when you first met him! “I hope it’s cool, but the whole gang is here.”

“My goodness. So you really  _ are  _ teaching them?”

“Yeah! We’re learning a lot,” Bumblebee said brightly. 

Prowl gently pushed Bumblebee’s shoulder, and leaned into the frame himself. “Hello,” he greeted your mother gravely. “It is a pleasure to meet you.”

One by one, the Autobots made sure to stick their faces in range of the camera long enough to greet your mother. You sat back and enjoyed the show as she struggled to greet these giant, alien robots like they were regular people. You had to give her credit, though; despite her eyes getting big, she managed more or less perfectly. It probably helped that, in between each exchange, Bumblebee would pipe up or clown around a bit on the camera, making you laugh.

Optimus was the last to greet her, and you held up the laptop so he didn’t have to crane his neck so much. “Hello, Jo. We are very grateful to your child for taking this position and assisting us. We would be much more lost without her help.”

“The honor is mine,” your mother said, her voice a bit faint. “I’m sorry, just.. I wasn’t expecting to meet anyone important today, and here I am in my PJs with my hair a mess!”

He smiled a little. “We don’t mean to cut in on your family time.”

“Oh, no, not a problem, in fact this is a relief to see your faces. I’ve seen ‘em on TV, of course, but I never thought I’d be actually  _ meeting  _ you.”

“You are welcome to visit us in person anytime.”

Your mother laughed. “When I have a week off, I’ll consider it.”

Optimus glanced your way. “Are you that far from Detroit?” he asked your mother, optics still on you.

“I flew here when I moved,” you piped in. “You  _ can  _ drive, but it’s a long ride.”

“Well, the offer stands,” Optimus said, returning his attention to the screen. “Please excuse me. I’m sure this has been a bizarre experience for you--”

“Not at all! In fact maybe you all can clear up some rumors that I’m hearin’ on the news.”

You tensed.

“Like, are you all actually as big as all that?”

You let out a whoosh of air in relief.

“By Earth measurements, we are a little large,” Prowl said, amused. “Which is an unusual situation for us. Bumblebee is the smallest of us, and he is considered by all rights to be a ‘minibot’ back home.”

“Hey! You’re not  _ that  _ much taller than me, jerk,” Bumblebee said, shooting Prowl an affronted look.

“Optimus is something like twenty feet tall,” you cut in. “And apparently there are ‘bots who are even bigger than these guys.”

“ _ Way _ bigger,” Bulkhead muttered. You didn’t like the subdued tone he’d taken, so you shot him a concerned look. He waved his servo in dismissal, and you slowly nodded, deciding not to press it for now.

“And I heard ya’ll have magic powers?”

“Magic?” Prowl asked, a hint of amusement in his voice.

“They can change into vehicles,” you said. “Apparently it’s a normal thing for them.”

“We often take on alternate forms to better blend in with a given environment,” Optimus said. “We actually thought vehicles were the people of this planet before we met the actual locals.”

“Goodness. So there could be more than just you guys on this planet and we might not even know it?”

Optimus’s smile faded. “Unfortunately, yes, but rest assured you are very safe. We have vowed to protect the--the people of this world,” he said, cutting himself off.

“Well, let me tell you, we’re all grateful for that.” Your mother took on an authoritative air. “And which of you is  _ protecting  _ my child?”

On either side of you, Prowl and Bumblebee vented out steam.

“Beg pardon?” Optimus asked, not catching her meaning.

“I heard some police captain on TV-”

“ _ Aha _ ! Ha! That’s a rumor,” you cut in, laughing nervously. “Nothing like that is happening. He’s just got a wild imagination mom. I’d tell you if I was seeing anyone.”

She shot you an unconvinced look. “You never told me about anyone in high school.”

You felt a rush of defensiveness. “Well... maybe I didn’t date in high school!”

“Mhm.”

“ _ Mom _ !”

“ _ Anyway _ ,” she said, playfully ignoring you, “that’s a relief to hear. The gossip news are all over the topic, so it’s good to hear things straight from the horse’s mouth.”

“None of us are horses,” Bulkhead said, genuinely perplexed.

You giggled. “She means directly from the source.”

The conversation went back to normal for a few minutes more. You listened to your mother talk about home, about family, about the shenanigans she dealt with at work. At last, the conversation began to wind down and your mother yawned.

“I better get some rest. You going home soon?”

“Yeah, pretty soon,” you said. “It’s late here, too.”

“Well, be safe. And thank you all again for talking with me, it was a real pleasure.”

“Anytime!” Bumblebee said brightly. “You ever wanna visit, you let me know and I’ll drive you!”

“You’re a sweetheart,” your mother told him, and you saw him beam. “All right, bye for now. Love you, baby.”

“Love you, mom,” you said. And just like that, the call ended.

You set the laptop back down with a sigh, and glanced up at the ‘bots.

“She is very sweet,” Optimus said. “I can see where you get a lot of your own personality.”

You flushed at the praise. “She’s pretty great,” you agreed. “I wouldn’t have been able to pack up and move here to Detroit without her help.”

“It’s fascinating, how much you resemble her,” Prowl said, causing you to turn and look up at him. He was peering at you, and while his expression was neutral as always, you could feel the intensity of his stare. “Your hair, your chin. Even your laugh is very similar.”

You fought down an embarrassed laugh at that. “Thanks. We get that a lot.”

“Hellooo~!” you heard from the doorway.

Bumblebee brightened. “Sari!” He got to his feet and used his wheels to skid toward the entrance. “Where you been? You’re way later than usual!”

Sari appeared just as Bumblebee got to the doorway. Her smile seemed a little tight, but her expression relaxed when she saw Bumblebee rushing to greet her. Holding out her arms in an imperative manner, she said, “My dad wanted to hang out and have some tea before he got back to work. It’s been a while, so I couldn’t say no.”

Bumblebee scooped her up. “Funny, we were just talkin’ to ‘Teach’s mom,” he told her. “Is it a human thing to talk to your family on Fridays?”

“Huh? No, I don’t think so,” Sari said, cuddling up on his shoulder. “Hi, guys.”

The ‘bots offered their greetings. Ratchet was already pulling away from the couch, twisting around to work the kinks out of his back. “If that’s all,” he grunted, “then I’ll be headin’ back to work. Sari, you’re the boss, keep ‘em in line for me.”

Sari snapped to attention. “Me?” Then she grinned, nodding. “Yes, sir!”

You saw Ratchet hide a smile as he headed toward the medical bay. 

Optimus chuckled. “Will you be spending the night again, Sari?” he asked her.

Her smile dropped. “I can’t. Dad’s upset about the dino ‘bots.”

You noticed Prowl stiffen a bit, and glanced up at him curiously. He had yet to move away from where you sat on the couch, but was staring off into the distance.

“That’s a shame,” Optimus commented. “Still, perhaps that’s for the best. We still need to work on improving that bathroom for you and our instructor, since you’re both around so much.”

Sari nodded. “That’d be good. It’s pretty icky in there.”

Optimus glanced between you and Sari.

You shrugged.

Optimus sighed. “Well, I will leave you and the others to hang out. Like Ratchet, I unfortunately can hear my work calling to me.”

“I don’t hear anything,” Sari said.

Optimus’s smile grew. He moved forward and gently patted Sari on the head with a single finger. “I wish I could say the same. Have fun, and let us know when you’re ready to head home.” With that, he pulled back, and headed off into the depths of the plant.

“Instructor,” Prowl said, catching your attention. “Might I have a moment of your time?”

You blinked at his overly formal address, but nodded. “Uh. Certainly. What can I do for you?”

He rose to his feet, and gestured toward his own room. “Privately, if you don’t mind.”

Now your curiosity was growing. You glanced at Bumblebee in time to see him shooting you a quizzical look. Shrugging with one shoulder, you hopped off the couch. “Sure. Bumblebee, you and Sari have fun, okay?”

“Uh, sure thing, ‘Teach.” Bumblebee began to plod toward the TV.

Only now did Sari make eye contact with you, and you saw her squirm uncomfortably on Bumblebee’s shoulder. 

You flashed her a smile. “Keep Bumblebee outta trouble, hey?”

With that, you trotted after Prowl, who had not waited for you. He was already nearly to his room, so you picked up the speed. One thing was for sure, you were going to be in amazing shape in a couple of months just because of all the literal running around you did here.

He opened his door and gestured for you to enter first. You grinned at him. “Thanks!” was all you had breath for before you ducked inside.

It was evening, so the room was dim. However, as soon as he closed the door, your eyes started to adjust to the lighting. You looked up, and your mouth fell open.

You’d known, of course, that Prowl had a tree growing out of one wall of his room, and that he let the elements in. You’d been in briefly once or twice during the daytime, listening to the birds chirp as you and Prowl discussed various aspects of nature. You hadn’t realized it was such a good spot to stargaze, too.

“Prowl, wow,” you said, staring upward. “Do you sleep under all that every night?”

“Don’t we all?” he asked pragmatically. 

You turned your head to shoot him a look. “You know what I mean. It’s lovely.” You returned your attention upward. “I didn’t realize you could see so many stars, even in the city like this.”

“It’s a nice way to remind myself of home.” You heard him move, and glanced back to see he’d seated himself on the floor, cross-legged. “Join me, please.”

You did as he asked, sitting across from him, also taking a moment to cross your legs. Once settled, you nodded at him, and he returned the gesture.

“What’s this about?” you asked.

To your surprise, he didn’t speak at first. Instead, he leaned forward, resting his elbow on one of his legs. He then dropped his chin onto his hand, watching you.

Sometimes Prowl liked to out-silence you, to see if you cracked. You didn’t think it was anything malicious, but it sure was tough to keep quiet yourself while he was staring down at you. After a second or two, you were seriously fighting the urge to fidget. Your hand dropped to the ground, and found some dust to push around while you stared back up at him.

“Is this about Sari?” you asked, finally giving in. “Or something else?”

He shook his head. “I want to know how you protect yourself, Instructor.”

“Protect myself?”

He tilted his head slightly. “I’ve been thinking on this since you were mugged. And you mentioned being harassed while going about your day.” He lifted his other hand, and reached out slowly, deliberately toward you.

You quirked a brow, but watched as he very slowly took one digit and used it to tilt your chin up, almost as though he were inspecting you. The gesture--oddly intimate--made you blush as he fell silent again, but you allowed it.

“I’ve taken self-defense classes in the past,” you said, as he fell still. “But learning how to fall or to dodge doesn’t help much when someone has a gun pressed into your back.”

“True,” he acknowledged. “However, with you and Sari being part of our team, it is integral that you know more than I feel either of you do, now.”

“Is there a reason you’re so concerned all of a sudden? Did something happen?”

He slowly dropped his hand, returning it to his own lap. Your skin felt cool as he answered, “Not yet.”

“But you think it will?” you pressed.

“There are more and more… creatures. People like us. Whatever you want to call them.” He leaned back. “They have been appearing on this planet at an alarming rate. And we may need to leave at any moment, to protect… certain things.”

You frowned. “This ‘certain thing’ is Optimus Prime’s main concern, I take it?”

He nodded.

“And you can’t tell me what it is?”

“I’m afraid not without his clearance.”

That stung a bit, but you pushed that reaction aside. “Fair enough. If something does happen, like you say it might, then I can’t reveal anything I don’t know.”

He looked relieved. “I’m glad you understand.” At last, he averted his gaze toward the tree. “Sari has her key, so if nothing else, she can use it to make electronics bend to her will. But you, instructor, beyond having a phone to call us… well.”

“What would make you feel better about the situation?”

“It’s not about my emotions,” he said, and by the tone of his voice you had a feeling it was, indeed, about his feelings.

“Prowl. Please answer the question.”

He vented out some air. “Fine. Sending you away at this point is fruitless, given that people on this planet know about you. And it would be foolish to leave you alone, given our enemies could try to find you if you are without guards. That means the next best thing--you need to study some form of fighting.” He glanced back. “Unless you have already done so?”

You shrugged. “We’ve all thought we might be the next karate kid when we were young, but recently, no.”

Thinking it over, taking some sort of self-defense class with the express purpose of being more use to the ‘bots appealed to you. Though what you, a normal-sized human could do against someone even as tall as Bumblebee was a question that had yet to be answered. 

“What if Sari and I take some sort of class together?” you suggested. “We could probably do it on the weekend.”

He perked up. “That would do as a start. Myself and the others could reinforce whatever you learn.”

You smiled. “Cool. I’ll talk to Sari, and start researching something. Could be good bonding, and if we join a group class she might make some more human friends.”

He offered a short nod. 

“Was that everything?”

“One last thing,” he said, holding up a servo. He vented steam. “I wish to apologize.”

You tilted your head, your smile slowly fading into a puzzled frown. “Why on earth would you-?”

“I apparently committed a faux paus when introducing you to Captain Fanzone, and I fear it has caused some tensions, not only between you and me, but in other relationships as well.” He shook his head. “My only intention was for you two to recognize each other should you need to, and yet this rumor has been spreading that could damage relations if we are not careful.”

“Oh, Prowl.” You got to your feet and walked forward to rest your hand on one of his knees, peering up at him. The angle was awkward, but you did your best to offer him a reassuring look. “Listen, that’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong. Sometimes people just jump to conclusions like that. All we have to do is keep repeating what we’ve already told people. The rumor will go away on its’ own.”

“I’m aware, but I don’t think you understand how important that rumor can be to others.”

“Others like who?”

You heard a clank outside the door, and a loud, “SSHHH!”

Prowl smirked. “Take a guess.”

You shook your head, and patted his knee again. “Thank you for talking to me about this,” you said, softening your voice. “I do consider you a friend at this point, and I hope you talk to me about this stuff more.”

He let out a faint chuckle. “Thank you.” He hesitated, then added, “You as well, Instructor. Now, what should we do about the listeners outside?”

You could think of a few things. Given how well you knew the people at the plant now, that could only be one or two certain ‘bots (and maybe one human). So, smirking, you said, “I don’t want to further confuse people, but I am very tempted to suggest we stage a loud screaming match.”

Prowl smirked back. “I have a better idea. Go open the door, slowly. Look as serious as possible.”

You peered up at him and got the impression that, were you able to see his optics properly, he would be winking at you.

Nodding, you backed away from him and watched as he curled up on his hands and knees, looking for all the world like a cat about to pounce. Amused, you bit the inside of your cheek to keep from smiling and headed to the door as requested.

Despite the door being massive, it moved under your touch. As you moved it, you heard a soft curse of, “Scrap, someone’s coming!”

You peered out.

True to form, Bumblebee and Sari were right outside, and it was clear they’d had their ears pressed to the door just a second ago. 

You did your best to keep a straight face as you slipped out. “Oh, hi guys.”

They shared a look.

“You okay?” Bumblebee ventured.

You offered a half-shrug. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“What did he say to you in there?” Sari asked.

_ Oh, we’re on speaking terms again? _ Without commenting on that, you pushed the door a little further open. “A couple of things, nothing really important.”

“Did he say something to you?” Bumblebee asked. You were surprised by the edge in his voice.

You glanced up, and parted your lips with the intention of reassuring him. However, before you could, you heard something scrape against the ground within the room. An instant later, Bumblebee let out a shriek of surprise as something leaped over you and crashed into the yellow bot.

Sari scrambled out of the way with a yelp; you stood frozen as Prowl loomed over Bumblebee, staring down at him with an impassive look on his face.

“Prowl what in Primus’  _ name--! _ ” Bumblebee began to seethe.

“Eavesdropping? How very childish of you,” Prowl said calmly. “Am I not allowed to speak with the instructor one-on-one?”

“We were just curious!” Sari piped up. 

Prowl shook his head. “Curious or not, what if it had been something she wasn’t comfortable discussing with the group yet? Or if it was something  _ I  _ was not yet comfortable bringing up?”

Bumblebee reached up and shoved at Prowl’s chestplate with both hands. As Prowl moved off of him, he growled, “And what would  _ you  _ have to say that you couldn’t say to us, but could say to her?”

“I won’t bother answering that,” Prowl said, climbing to his feet. “Your processor is already full of ideas anyway, isn’t it?”

Bumblebee froze, his lips parted.

“Stop wasting time, Bumblebee. The world will not wait for you.” Prowl turned to offer you a smirk and a nod, then stepped back within his room.

The door shut behind him.

“Bumblebee?” you asked hesitantly. “Are you and Sari all right? I didn’t mean to upset you; we were just--”

“I’m fine,” he muttered, sitting up.

You glanced at Sari, who was frowning at the door with her arms crossed. “Sari?”

“Pouncing on Bumblebee  _ was  _ kinda funny,” she admitted, “but picking a fight with him isn’t cool.” She glanced up at you. “What  _ were  _ you talking about? We honestly couldn’t hear, ‘cuz you were talking so soft.”

You shrugged. Part of you was tempted to keep it a mystery, but with the sour way Bumblebee was staring at the door, you didn’t want to make anything worse. “Prowl was talking about us taking, like, karate lessons,” you said.

Sari blinked. “Karate lessons?” She smiled a bit. “You and me?”

“Yeah. He thought it would be a good idea for us to be ‘ready for anything’,” you said, making air quotes. 

“That sounds kinda fun.” She held up her hands, imitating what one would see fighters do on television. “I’ve always thought the karate kid was cool;  _ hi-yah _ !” She kicked at the wall, the impact causing a loud thud to ring through the hallway.

“If you’re okay with it, I’ll start looking. Maybe we could try a trial lesson together?” you offered.

She considered. Then, dropping her foot from the wall, she nodded, her smile turning shy. “Okay. That’d be neat.”

Your smile grew. 

“That’s  _ all  _ he had to talk to you about?” Bumblebee pressed.

You turned to see that, rather than getting up, he was still sitting on the ground. He had his hands on the floor in front of himself, leaning forward so that you were eye level with each other. His expression was serious, even concerned.

Thinking back to the way Prowl had tilted your head back to look you in the eyes, you felt your face go hot.

Bumblebee recoiled a little, his optics widening. Then, his expression hardened. “Oh, that  _ asshole _ ,” he said.

“Hey! I’m right here!” Sari said, sounding more delighted than scandalized.

Bumblebee got to his feet, his optics still on you. “Sorry,” he said to her. Then, he let out a sigh. “Look,” he said, holding out his servos. “You’re right. We shouldn’t have listened, but… but Prowl asking you to his room is about as rare as Bulkhead not breaking something on a mission, okay?”

“I know, but it was something he seemed genuinely worried about.” You shook your head. “And I’m a little worried that  _ that  _ got you upset.”

“That’s not--” he cut himself off, then tried again. “ _ That’s _ not why I’m freaking out.” He glanced over at Sari, then at you. “You two, uh, go do some bonding. Or something. I gotta go figure something out.”

“You okay?” Sari asked him.

He finally looked at her, making an effort to relax. “I think so. He… gave me a lot to think about.” 

Without another word, he dropped into his alt mode, and took off down the hall for his own room.

You stared after him, frowning. “I don’t get it.”

“Oh, good, me neither,” Sari said, walking up to stand next to you. “I’ve never seen him so weirded out.”

You glanced down at her. “Any idea why those two are always tense around each other?”

She shrugged. “They’ve been like that from the start. Heck, Prowl apparently didn’t get along with anybody when they first started working together. Optimus says he’s better than he’s ever been.”

You glanced behind you at the still-shut door. “Aliens are weird,” you said in a stage-whisper.

You thought you heard a cough from behind the door.

Sari giggled. “Super weird,” she agreed. 

“Wanna go play a game?”

“Yeah.” She hesitated. “Sorry for not inviting you to the theme park.”

“It’s okay. I’m sorry it didn’t go as well as you hoped.”

Sari nodded. “Can I get a hug?”

You held your arms open to her.

A moment after the hug, you were walking down the hall back to the main room. You caught Bulkhead’s eye as you went to the sofa and started hooking up a video game. While he didn’t say anything, you saw him smile as Sari chattered your ear off about her tutor bot, her father, and the adventures at the theme park.

At least one thing was back to normal.


	19. Really? Really? ME?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prowl makes a friend. Sari has a birthday party. You lose a game... but win something else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey ya'll, sorry for the random disappearance. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

“This is gonna be so  _ cool, _ ” Sari squealed, pressing her hands into her own cheeks and bouncing.

You were in a park not too far from Sumdac Tower. It was chilly out, but since there wasn’t a breeze you were able to get by with a sweatshirt over a long-sleeved shirt. Which was good, because today was Sari’s birthday gift from you to her.

You’d searched online and found a school that offered occasional one-off special lessons in the park for a nominal fee. You’d signed up, explaining yourself as a babysitter of sorts. Today was going to be a “defense” lesson--how to fall, how to get back up, that sort of thing. Baby steps.

Prowl, upon hearing about it, had immediately requested to come and watch. Bumblebee, for his part, had overheard and insisted on driving you both.

Curious, Optimus had suggested the ‘bots all go and watch.

Thus, you had a crowd quickly forming around the Autobots, wondering what they were doing out on a chilly autumn day like today.

You left them to their fans and, trailed by Sari, approached a man who appeared to be in his thirties. Fit, with dark hair, a kind smile and eyes that lit up when he spotted you, he rose to his feet and made his way over.

“You must be the two newbies!” He held out his hand. “I’m Miles, the instructor for today.”

You grinned, accepted his hand and introduced yourself. “So should I call you Miles, Mr. Miles, or Sensei?”

He chuckled. “I guess Sensei would be best.” He held out his hand to Sari as well. “An honor to have you join us, Ms. Sumdac.”

She accepted his hand with a cheeky grin. “I know! I can’t wait to beat people up!”

Miles snorted. “Right, well, we’re going to be starting a bit slow. Not everybody’s been hanging out with heroes like you.” He crouched down to offer her a mock-serious expression. “Think you can hold back a little while I show everybody how the basic stuff is done first? If we have time after, I’ll show you a special move or two.”

Sari’s eyes lit up and she bounced in place again. “Yeah! Yeah, totally!” She paused in place, then saluted. “Uh, Sensei, sir.”

“Isn’t ‘Sensei’ another word for ‘teacher?” Prowl inquired. 

You jumped; how had you not realized that he had come up behind you?

Miles, for his part, glanced up, and his smile widened. “It is, in Japanese,” he said. “Part of the lessons we teach involve learning some phrases in the language the martial art originates from. It’s the same when we learn Tae-Kwon-Do; you’d get Korean, then.”

“Fascinating,” Prowl said. “I hope you don’t mind, but we wanted to come and see what such instruction is like on Earth.”

Miles laughed. “No pressure, huh? I’ll do my best to make it worthwhile.” 

Prowl nodded, folding his arms over his chest. “How long have you been a ‘Sensei’?”

“Only about five years, but I’ve been training in this since I was, I dunno, four?”

Prowl glanced at Sari. “Half your age. So children on this planet can learn to defend themselves quite early.”

“It’s not as much about defense at that age,” Miles cut in, recapturing Prowl’s attention. “It’s more about learning routines, discipline, healthy lifestyles, respect, that sort of thing. It sets the groundwork for success later on, whether you keep following this art or not.”

You spotted a faint smile beginning on Prowl’s face. “I see. Fascinating.”

Deciding you weren’t needed for this particular conversation, you excused yourself and looked around. There was a good thirty people or so coming to the class, a mix of children and adults. Good, you wouldn’t stand out. And while a couple of people had brought their uniforms ( _ Why _ ? you wondered; surely they’d get dirty on the grass?) most were in casual gear like you.

You saw someone waving out of the corner of your eye, and glanced up to see Bulkhead was waving one of his arms. You smiled and made your way over.

“Nervous?” he asked.

“Eh. Long as I don’t fall flat on my face more than once I’ll be okay,” you said. “Are you guys seriously all going to sit there and watch the whole time?”

“Might as well. Optimus says he got a call from Isaac about making today Sari’s birthday party, anyway, so after you’re done we’ll pop over to the gondola. Said something about refueling and gifts and games.”

You nodded. “Sounds like fun. Well, hopefully you guys will get a kick out of watching a bunch of us flail around. I’m sure you all have ages of experience.”

Bulkhead smirked. “For some of us, less than you’d think. After all, Bumblebee and I were programmed to repair bridges.”

“No kidding.”

“Yeah. Funny, given I break stuff a lot, huh?”

You shifted your weight onto one foot. “Well, sometimes you need to knock things down to build something new, right? Besides, you guys make a good team, I think.”

He let out a chuckle. 

“If you’re here for the lesson, line up!” you heard Miles call.

“Break a stabilizer,” Bulkhead whispered to you.

You suppressed a smile and ran over to join the group of people.

Everyone had to line up by “belt color”, which meant that since you and Sari were entirely new, you were in the back and at the end of the line. Which suited you just fine; the fewer people saw your mistakes, the better you’d feel. You had a gut feeling that Prowl would be (politely) picking apart your actions later, anyway.

Stretching was first, as well as a basic rundown of what the idea behind karate was. You listened, nudged Sari when she got distracted, and tried to follow along. 

At least falling was easy; you were able to tuck and roll, just like you had as a child. When you rolled to your feet, you heard a cheer and turned to see Bumblebee waving enthusiastically at you. You felt yourself blush, but smiled goofily back and gave a thumbs up before returning your attention to practice.

Naturally, you fell flat on your face the very next move.

Sari was much more engaged once you got to practice what you’d been shown. She was stiff when she fell, and grumbled about her back hurting. You tried your best to help, and Miles, thank goodness, came over to give advice here and there, all without belittling Sari’s abilities. Sari beamed at the praise she got.

The hour was over before you knew it, and you pushed your hair out of your face. Ugh; you were sweating more than you thought you would. You wished you’d brought a change of clothes.

_ Then again, since we’re doing a kids’ birthday party right after this, maybe that’s not necessary. _

Almost as soon as Miles called the class to an end, you felt something rest lightly on top of your head.

Smirking, you playfully rolled your eyes and turned to see Bumblebee was holding a water bottle over you. “Do you have to do that every time you offer me something?” you asked, reaching up for it.

Bumblebee scoffed and held it just out of reach. “Hey! If you don’t want it, I don’t have to give it to you.”

You put on a pout and held up your hands. “C’mon, please? I didn’t say that.”

He made a show of eyeing you, then relented, handing it over. The plastic bottle was cold to the touch, and you eagerly opened and drank from it. 

“Thank you,” you said after downing half the bottle. “Phew. I’m more out of shape than I thought.”

“That was so cool!” Sari crowed as she ran over to tackle Bumblebee’s leg. He didn’t so much as budge, but he chuckled as she beamed up at him. “Did you see that, Bumblebee?”

“Yeah, you totally nailed it!” he told her.

“Sensei said I was super good and that he wants to show me more cool moves,” Sari boasted, pulling back to puff out her chest ala Bumblebee. 

Amused, you said, “Right now? Well, you better not waste any time.”

“Oh, no, I mean, I’m definitely going to join his class,” Sari said, looking over at you. “You are too, right? He’s so nice. Even Prowl likes him.”

You glanced over; sure enough, Prowl had approached Miles as you and the rest of the group started to go their separate ways. Miles, who’d been getting a sip of water from his own water bottle, brightened and turned to talk. Prowl ducked down to be closer to the instructor’s level.

“It was definitely fun,” you agreed. “Why not? I need to be in better shape, and this way we can hang out more.”

Sari grinned. “Yes!” She let go of Bumblebee to cling on you instead. “Thank you, this was such an awesome birthday gift.”

“No problem,” you said, reaching down to ruffle her hair.

She pulled back. “Ready to meet my dad? We’ve gotta head over pretty soon, right?” she added, glancing up at Bumblebee.

He shrugged. “We do?”

“We do,” Optimus confirmed, making his way over. “That was a very interesting lesson. It sure is different from how we do things on Cybertron. At least, in the Academy.”

Ratchet grunted. “They don’t let protoforms join the Academy, that’s why.” 

“Miles said it himself, at this age it’s mostly about the discipline and the fun of it,” you pointed out. “Y’know, setting good habits early.”

Optimus nodded. “I think it’ll be good for both of you. At any rate, shall we head over? I’ve got the coordinates from Isaac. It’s not far.”

Sari beamed. “Heck yes! I want my birthday cake! And my presents!”

Optimus smirked, and dropped into his alt mode. “Well, then, for the lady constructed on this day, may I offer a ride?”

Giggling, Sari ran up and hopped into Optimus’s alt mode without a second thought. 

“C’mon,” Bumblebee said to you, following suit. “Let’s ditch this joint and get going!”

“What about Prowl?” you asked. “Shouldn’t we tell him we’re leaving?”

“He’ll join us when he’s ready,” Bumblebee said, a hint of impatience entering his voice. “C’mon, let’s go already!”

You obediently climbed into the driver’s seat, and soon the group--sans Prowl--was heading off.

“You’re fidgety,” Bumblebee noted after a minute or two.

“Am I?” you asked. “I guess I’m nervous.” Something about this conversation struck you as deja vu.

“How come?”

“It’s the first time I’m meeting Isaac Sumdac in person. I mean, I’m supposedly one of his employees. I’ve had sleepovers with his daughter, as weird as that sounds. I’m teaching you guys. But I’ve never met him face to face or even talked to him on the phone.”

“What’s the big deal? He’s a nice guy. Kinda absent-minded.”

“How do you think he feels about a strange adult paying for Sari to join a martial arts class?”

He paused. “Pretty... Good?” He hesitated. “Listen, ‘Teach, maybe this is a cultural thing, but I feel like you’re overthinking it. On Cybertron, raising ‘bots fresh off the assembly line isn’t just a one-bot deal. It’s a community thing. You’d be praised for taking initiative in helping someone new get started on their training, so long as they weren’t feeling pressured.”

You sighed, leaning back in the seat. “Maybe I  _ am  _ overthinking it. After all, the man barely seems to keep track of what’s going on with Sari. She’s always so lonely.”

“You get that feelin’ too, huh?”

Nodding, you closed your eyes. “I just don’t want to overstep any boundaries. I just… I wish she was older, or that I was younger, you know?”

“How come age is so important? You’re a good friend to her.”

You smiled a bit. “I’m glad someone thinks so.”

“I know several other people who believe it, too.” He slowed to a stop. “We’re here.”

“Nooo,” you whined half-jokingly, keeping your eyes closed. “I don’t want to be here yet. I want to not deal with professionalism today.”

He chuckled. “C’mon, ‘Teach, you can hop out or I can transform and set you down. Those are your choices. You don’t get to hide in my alt mode. I tried that once with Sari and it went bad.”

“Nope. Be a pal and just let me hide for an hour or two.”

You heard him softly laugh again. Then, in the next moment, you felt him transform around you.

He’d done it before, of course, but this time when you opened your eyes, something felt different about the way he was holding you. Your eyes met his optics, and your breath caught in your throat.

Bumblebee was smiling at you in a way that made your heart do funny things. “You can handle an awkward, quasi-professional birthday party,” he told you. “But if you  _ do  _ need to disappear in traffic, all you gotta do is ask. Okay?”

At a loss for words, you offered a nod.

He copied your nod, searching your expression for a moment. 

“Bumblebee? You, uh, going to join us over here?” you heard Optimus call.

You both blinked at the same time.

“Oh! R-right!” Bumblebee stammered, setting you down.

You tried your best to make it seem like your legs had not just turned to jelly for some stupid reason. You weren’t certain you succeeded, because Bulkhead was giving you a funny look that made you want to drop into the ground forever.

A chuckle caught your attention. “You must be the teacher Sari has been telling me so much about.”

You turned, and came face-to-face with Isaac Sumdac.

He was a much smaller man than you’d anticipated, for some reason; his hair stood straight up, making him seem like a comical mad scientist. But his eyes were kind, albeit tired, as he regarded you.

“Uh, sir,” you stammered, and made your way over, offering a hand. “My name is--”

You introduced yourself, and he accepted your handshake with a gloved hand. 

“You already know me,” he said, releasing your hand. “I hear you have been taking good care of my daughter. I thank you for that. I fear she spent much of her life alone, up until recent events.” He glanced over at Sari, who was oohing over a table prepared with punch and sweets. “A lot of that is my fault.”

Not sure what to say, you clasped your hands behind your back.

He shook himself out of his reverie. “But where are my manners? Come! We must celebrate her birthday.”

“And how do we do that?” Optimus asked.

Isaac glanced up at him. “Well, we are still awaiting a few more guests.” He turned, and his expression brightened. “Oh! Good. They came.”

Sari wandered up, a cup of punch in one hand. “Of course they did, they’re your employees’ kids,” she mumbled.

“I take it you don’t know them well?” you asked her.

She shrugged. “They show up to all my parties. Dad pays overtime for them.”

On instinct, you reached out a hand to her. Then, you drew it back, not certain if she wanted to be touched. “Well… how’s the punch?”

She glanced up at you. “It’s fine.”

You glanced over at Bumblebee, and saw that he too had noticed this exchange. His expression slightly concerned, he looked over at the approaching kids, who did so with trepidation written all over their faces.

“Well, hey, what’s a party if we don’t have any music?” Bumblebee asked brightly. “And just for the birthday girl, I downloaded that new album that just dropped.” He puffed out his chest, and a second later, you heard a click.

Then, you had to cover your ears as what amounted to a wall of noise emerged from him.

“What the devil is that  _ racket _ ?!” Ratchet groused. You looked up, wincing, to see he was covering his audials. 

Sari, meanwhile, had regained some of her cheer, grinning a little. “Heeey, yeah! We should dance!” she said, running over to Bumblebee, the guests forgotten.

You and Ratchet shared a look. “At least turn that down a bit!” he shouted at Bumblebee. “Human audials can’t be repaired like ours!”

Bumblebee shot him a Look, but did as asked… if only a little.

Still, it was enough that you were able to uncover your ears, just as Isaac greeted the kids. 

“Welcome! Glad you could make it.”

“Yeah, sure,” one little girl said, popping gum. She set down her present on the table, then turned. “Is that Autobot dancing?”

“Cool! Are they all gonna dance?” a boy next to her asked.

You decided to go get some punch.

While you did, the party moved along, if in an awkward way. The dance party at least broke some tension, with the kids wanting to see the Autobots do various tricks--mostly involving their transformations. For the most part, they ignored you completely. And Sari, for that matter.

Sari seemed fine with that, dancing with Bumblebee and occasionally running over to stuff her face with sweets. Every time she did, you engaged her in conversation or in a brief game, long enough to make her smile. Inevitably, her father would usher her back toward the other kids, and the light would dim in her eyes before she obeyed.

At last, you couldn’t contain yourself. “She doesn’t have any friends her age?” you asked Isaac.

He sighed. “She’s… never quite clicked with other children.”

“She seems fine with people older than her.”

Isaac glanced over at you. “Sari chooses her own friends. I believe it’s safe to say you can count yourself fortunate to be one of them, along with the Autobots. She has never found that sort of kindred spirit in another… child.”

While you were puzzling over the way he said that last word, he excused himself and clapped his hands to get everyone’s attention. “Time for presents!” he called.

Sari brightened. “Awww yeah! Presents!”

Isaac gestured to something that had been tucked away behind the table; you’d assumed it was another table, given the white sheet over it. However, as he pulled that away, you realized it was a massive, electronic box of some sort. Sari rushed over, grinning from ear to ear, and soon the other kids and ‘bots made their way over to watch the spectacle.

Isaac handed his daughter a key, which Sari giggled about a bit. She took it, and used it to unlock the box.

To your amazement, the box unfolded like origami, leaving you all facing… a robot.

It wasn’t long before you realized just what the purpose of the robot was, as Sari had it up, running… and blasting music, even louder than Bumblebee had been.

“This is the best present  _ ever _ !” Sari shouted gleefully, hopping around her new, dancing robot.

You smirked and shook your head, taking a few steps back to avoid hearing loss. Bumping into someone, you glanced up to realize you’d bumped right into Bumblebee’s leg. His optics met your eyes, and suddenly you were both flailing.

“Ah--!”

“Sorry--!” 

“My bad!”

You danced around each other for a second, smiling nervously, before he made the rest of his way over to Sari. “Hey, uh, can I join?” he asked.

She held her hands out to him, and soon Bumblebee was dancing with her.

It was a really sweet sight… even if their style of dancing didn’t exactly match the music. You sipped at your punch and moved further back and out of the way. Bulkhead seemed like he wanted to join the party, staring at Sari and touching his chassis with one claw as though he were trying to hold his own spark. Optimus, meanwhile, was still being badgered by the other kids to do stunts. Prowl, while present, was watching the goings-on without comment… as was Ratchet.

You plopped yourself down next to the latter ‘bot. The music was still plenty loud, but at least here you could speak if you wanted to without having to shout. Not that you were feeling pressed to talk, anyway.

Neither did Ratchet; he let out a scoff now and then at the shenanigans, but otherwise seemed content to just observe.

Bumblebee eventually tired of dancing with Sari and the robot, and made his way back over. “Phew. That thing sure does drop a beat,” he said, grinning. “What’re you guys doing sitting over here?”

“Hearing ourselves think,” Ratchet grumbled.

You couldn’t suppress a smirk at that.

Bumblebee playfully rolled his optics. “Whatever. ‘Teach, you not dancing?”

“Not a huge dancer,” you said. “I’ve taken zumba classes, but not like, hip hop or whatever you were doing over there.” 

Bumblebee squatted down in front of you, beaming. “Well, you could learn,” he suggested.

You shook your head. “Nah, not today. I’m beat from that martial arts thing earlier.”

His smile faded and he offered a pout. “Party pooper. You’re not up for one dance?”

“I told you, I don’t know how to do the moves you were doing just now.”

“I’ll teach ya! It’s not that hard.”

“Kid said no, Bumblebee,” Ratchet said.

You glanced up at Ratchet, feeling a rush of mixed emotion. Gratefulness that he’d spoken, slight irritation at the interruption, confusion because you’d been starting to buy into the idea of dancing… “Maybe another time,” you said, somewhat reluctantly.

Bumblebee sighed. “Oh, fine. But I’m holding you to that!”

“Okay,” you agreed, relieved and disappointed all at once.

“Besides, how long is this party supposed t’ go?” Ratchet asked. “It’s already been several cycles longer’n I expected.”

You checked the time. “It’s already been a couple hours. I can’t imagine the kids visiting will have the energy to stick around much longer, dance party or not.”

Sure enough, just as you said that you saw a couple of adults making their way down toward the party. Kids broke off from where they were eating snacks or dancing to rush over to their parents. Sari ignored it all and kept right on messing with her new robot toy.

Bulkhead, you noticed, was still watching her with that same expression on his face.

“Is Bulkhead okay?” you asked suddenly.

Ratchet and Bumblebee blinked, then glanced his way. “Seems fine, why?” Bumblebee asked, putting his hands on his hips.

“He seems… stuck? Or unhappy about something?”

“Maybe he forgot Sari’s present at home,” Ratchet said. “He made a big fuss ‘bout getting her something she’d like.”

“Oh, is that it? I’ve been there,” you said with a wince. “No wonder he’s been quiet, if that’s the case.”

Optimus walked over, looking worn out. “Autobots, I think it’s time we gathered up and rolled out,” he said with an air of relief.

“You all right?” you asked, craning your neck up to look at him.

“Those kids were relentless,” he admitted, taking a moment to sit on the grass beside Ratchet. He vented out some air, then continued, “They asked questions faster than I could answer. And they kept trying to steer my alt mode on me.”

“I’m sure they had a great time, thanks to you,” you said.

Optimus glanced over at Sari.

“Well, if we’re headed home, maybe we can pop in a video game or two,” Bumblebee said, brightening. “‘Teach, you in for that?”

You checked the time. “Uh, sure, if you guys are cool with me joining you for a bit.”

“That’s never a problem,” Optimus assured you.

“Great! I’ll go let Sari know,” Bumblebee said. He got to his feet and hurried over to where the girl was hanging on the robot.

You got to your feet and brushed excess grass and dirt off of yourself.

A moment later, Bumblebee wandered back over, his expression thoughtful. “Seems she wants to take the robot home and see what else it can do.” He paused, then grinned at you. “You know what this means, right?”

“Uh.” You glanced at Ratchet, who quirked an optical ridge at you. Looking back at Bumblebee, you shrugged. “What does it mean?”

“It means… you don’t get to call for backup this time when we play.” He winked. 

You laughed. “Oh, whatever, like I need backup.” 

“Big talk from a little human.”

You stuck your tongue out at him.

“Kids,” Ratchet grumbled, and without warning changed into his alt mode. “Prime, we going home or what?”

“Yes, let’s,” Optimus agreed, and a moment later, you were surrounded by vehicles.

Bumblebee’s door was the first to open in invitation, so you let yourself into the driver’s seat. 

As you did, you pulled the door closed and let the seatbelt fasten over you. “Hey, can we stop by my place before we go back to the plant?” you asked him.

“Huh? Sure, but why?”

“I want a change of clothes… not to mention some food.”

Bumblebee hummed. “Sure, we can do that in a jiffy.”

And so it was decided. You assumed something was said over the comm links, because nobody commented when Bumblebee peeled off from the other Autobots to head back to your place. You leaned back in the seat, glad for a chance to relax… and unwind from that party.

Bumblebee played music as you traveled; you hummed along to some of it, but for the most part the ride was pretty quiet. 

As he pulled up to your place, you scooted out quickly. “I promise I’ll be fast,” you said. “Just park in one of the parking spaces and I’ll come out once I’ve grabbed something to go.”

“Okay, but hurry it up! We got games to play!” he said in response.

“Sheesh, pushy,” you teased, but obediently hurried up the steps toward your apartment.

You cast a longing glance toward your shower, but made do with a quick face-wash and a complete change of clothes. That at least helped with the gross, sticky feeling. Then, you poked your head into your fridge and grabbed some leftovers to make a sandwich, along with a bottle of water and some fruit. Satisfied, you made sure you had everything you’d need before scurrying back outside and down to where Bumblebee was waiting in one of the parking spaces.

To your surprise, he didn’t call out as soon as you emerged from the stairs. In fact, as you neared, he seemed to be concentrating on something, judging by how his engine was going.

“Bumblebee?” you asked curiously.

“Nnngh! It’s no good!” he complained, his alt mode slumping in disappointment.

“What? Did something happen? Are you okay?”

He perked up again. “Oh! ‘Teach! Uh, didn’t hear ya coming back! You ready to go?”

You furrowed your brow. “Yeah, I’m ready, but… what’s ‘no good’?”

“Nothing!” He popped his door open. “C’mon, let’s go! Did you bring enough food and drink?”

“Yeah, I’m good,” you said, holding up your lunchbox and wiggling it for emphasis as you slid into your seat. “You sure you’re fine?”

“Yep! Now, uh, more importantly… which game should we start with?” 

You reluctantly decided to drop it as he zipped you along toward the plant. Music was again put on, but this time, Bumblebee began to chatter about the games he had available to play. You picked a racing game this time, recalling the fighting one from before, and he seemed to perk up.

“Oh, it’s such a good game! It’s realistic, and it’s fast, and you can put all kinds of extra features on your car--it’s the best!”

You listened, grinning at his excitement. It wasn’t long before you were rolling into the plant, and that was when you realized.

It was your first real evening, sans Sari, with the ‘bots.

And this only became more clear when you hopped out of Bumblebee in time to see Optimus wander by with a cube of that high grade stuff. “Oh, Instructor,” he greeted you, offering a faint smile. “Welcome back.”

You smiled up at him. “You can call me by my name. I’m not teaching you anything right now.”

“Habits are hard to break. Are you staying overnight?”

You blinked. “I… didn’t even think of it as an option. I assumed I’d be heading home in a couple of hours.”

Optimus offered a shrug. “The couch is yours, if you decide to stay.”

“That’d be pretty awesome--an all night gaming marathon!” Bumblebee chirped from behind you. “Hey, Bossbot, you breaking out the good stuff?”

“I am, but if you’re driving the instructor back home later, perhaps you shouldn’t.”

Bumblebee huffed. “Oh, fine, be all responsible.”

“I shall.” Optimus narrowed his optics at Bumblebee in a way that made it difficult for you to tell if he was joking or not. “That’s my job.”

“Whatever. ‘Teach, c’mon, let’s go play!”

“Have fun,” Optimus said with a faint smirk.

You waved up at him and followed Bumblebee toward the sofa. It wasn’t long before you were head-to-head, racing for all you were worth.

It wasn’t a game you were familiar with, so the first couple of wins went, naturally, to Bumblebee. He was in his element again, teasing and taunting good-naturedly as you got up to speed. For your part, you began to respond, sticking your tongue out when he teased, laughing when he pouted, and nudging him when he made a bad joke about your driving skills.

Maybe that nudge was what started things.

You’d elbowed him in the plating on his middle, and while you doubted it actually made any impact, Bumblebee let out a dramatic, “Oof!” and made a show of doubling over. Then, as he recovered, he narrowed his optics at you, a faint smirk on his face. “Oh, it is  _ on _ , buddy.”

“Bring it, I can take you,” you bluffed, grinning at his theatrics.

You were doing well in this race, pulling ahead of Bumblebee. But instead of him pouting and whining at you, you heard him give a mischievous chuckle.

The next thing you knew, someone or something was ruffling your hair. 

Automatically, you reached up to push his fingers away with one hand. “Hey!” you protested, laughing. “You’re cheating!”

“Am not! You started it!” he retorted, snickering as he withdrew his hand to return his full attention to the game.

You nudged him again with your elbow. “Did not, cheater!”

“You just can’t accept the fact I’m a better racer than you!”

You tried to shove him with one hand this time, but he didn’t even move. He just laughed at you. You narrowed your eyes in thought. Bumblebee’s car was already on the final lap of the race. You were somewhere halfway in the second lap. It was extremely unlikely you’d win. At least, in the game.

Still playing, you climbed to your feet on the sofa and took the step or two needed to be in reach of Bumblebee.

“What are you--” he asked, turning his head to face you, amused and suspicious.

_ Where did he say Sari’s hair had…? _

You let one hand drop the game controller in favor of running your fingers along his neck plating. The metal was smooth and warm under your hand, and you could almost feel the cables underneath. Then, you felt him twitching under your teasing touch.

“Gaah!” Bumblebee scrunched up his neck, snickering. You had to pull your hand away for a moment to make sure your fingers didn’t get stuck in anything. He stuck his glossa out at you. “Now who’s cheating?  _ Aha _ ! You-  _ aagh _ ! No tickling!”

You didn’t care about the game much anymore. You’d just found out something  _ much _ more interesting.

Bumblebee gamely pressed on in the race, despite the fact you were now using both hands to explore around his neck plating. He was shouting out halfhearted threats between snickers and giggles, and every couple of seconds he’d scrunch himself up to make you stop. Then, he’d warily drop his shoulders and give you a Look, and it would start up again.

There was cheering and fanfare coming from somewhere, and Bumblebee let out a triumphant, “HAH! I did it!” before twisting around, grabbing you, and pulling you onto his lap in one move.

You fell into it without a fight. He was still laughing, and so were you as he caught your hands to keep them from attacking him further. You let him hold on to you, beaming up at him as he ducked down to smile back at you.

“Didja see that?” he asked, his voice a playful murmur. “Even with you cheating, I still won.”

You giggled. “You started it.”

“Did not.” 

Both of you fell silent.

Bumblebee slowly released your hands, using one of his servos to support your back while the other rested along one of your sides. You relaxed into the support, finding it the most natural feeling in the world to sprawl on his lap. It also felt so natural to reach up and rest one hand on his chassis… and the other on the side of his face.

Something was happening. Something important. 

What were you doing before? You couldn’t remember, because Bumblebee was peering down at you, faceplate pink, with a soft smile and warm optics, and that was all you could see. All you wanted to see. 

You stroked your thumb along one side of his face. Warm, like the rest of him; softer, with more give. Still harder than human skin, but inviting, especially with the way he was leaning into your hand just a bit.

“Bumblebee?” you murmured, like his name was a prayer.

He whispered your name back.

“...Remember when you wanted to tell me something?”

Bumblebee nodded.

You shifted your weight, attempting to get closer, and was gratified when he adjusted the way he was holding you so that you could do that. “...I think I have something to tell you too.”

“Yeah?” he breathed, and you could feel the hot air venting onto your skin.

Licking your lips, you searched his face.

It was so tempting to just lean in and close the distance. The warmth you felt was as heady as if you’d been drinking high grade yourself, and the look on his face, the unusual stillness as he held you in his arms, all of it came together to make you want to try something you had firmly told yourself to never contemplate.

“I caught feelings for you, real bad,” you admitted, your voice barely audible. “And you don’t know how badly I want to kiss your face right this second.”

His expression changed subtly as you spoke. Then, your heartrate picked up as his smile widened into one of pure delight.

“Wait. Really?” He let out a soft giggle. “ _ Really _ ? Me?”

“Really,” you confirmed. You tried not to squirm under his gaze.

Before you could even begin to wonder if you’d made a mistake, Bumblebee let out a loud whoop of joy and rose to his feet, you still in his arms. You squealed, then laughed as he swung you around in a circle.

“Oh Primus! You have  _ no idea _ \--you can’t even-- _ oh my god _ ,” he said, laughing, in a way so similar to how you yourself would say it that it made you laugh more. Then, he came to a stop, holding you where he could see you at eye level. “I mean. Hold on. Wait. I gotta do this  _ right _ .”

You obediently waited, biting your lip to try to keep from smiling. It wasn’t working well.

“Stoppit,” he warned you, an amused smirk on his face.

“Not doing anything.”

“Stop looking at me like that, I wanna--” he snickered and averted his gaze. “Seriously,  _ wait _ . I wanna do this properly.”

You did your best to reign in your own giddiness as he calmed down with an effort. After venting out air that looked more like steam--thankfully away from you--he met your eyes once more.

“I got feelings  _ so bad _ for you,” he said, his lips quirking in a smile despite himself. “And uh, if you wanted to do that thing you just said? I’m wide open.”

That made you blink. “Really?” You searched his gaze, leaning up again to press your hand against one side of his face like you had before. “... _ Really _ ?”

“Really,” he confirmed, and the both of you giggled over how ridiculous this was.

Then, just as your laughter was dying down, you thought,  _ To hell with it, _ and leaned up to press your lips against his.

Of course it was different from kissing a human. He was bigger, for one, though not so big that it was impossible. In fact, after an initial, “mmph!” of surprise, Bumblebee adjusted himself so that things worked rather nicely.

You slid your other arm around his neck for better purchase, and held on for dear life. You heard his cooling fans click on, and after a moment, you pulled back to look up at him, waiting for a reaction.

He stared down at you, expression awed. “Wow,” he breathed.

You dropped your hand from his faceplate. “Yeah.”

“‘Bout fraggin’ time,” someone grunted.

Both of you jumped. Bumblebee whirled, and you saw Ratchet regarding you with bemusement. He held a can of oil in his servo.

Dismay and embarrassment whirled around the joy you’d been feeling. “I… um… Ratchet.. Er…”

“Relax,” you heard Optimus say, sounding amused. “Did you honestly think none of us saw this coming?”

It was then you realized that you had managed to smooch Bumblebee in plain view of every other Autobot in the plant. There was Optimus, sans his previous drink with a smile on his face. Prowl was with him, arms crossed and a smirk on his own faceplate. Bulkhead was standing near Ratchet, and looked like he was bursting with pride.

Bumblebee’s fans clicked on louder. “Oh man. Uh. You all--you all saw that?” he stammered.

“We heard what sounded like a cat dying and came out to investigate,” Prowl said calmly. “I suppose congratulations are in order for you both.”

“Wait. You saw this coming?” you said, looking at Optimus helplessly.

He shrugged. “Sparkmates are easy to spot for everyone except for the partners themselves, I’ve found.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” Ratchet said. 

Bumblebee let out a nervous-sounding laugh. “Oh man.” 

“By all means, don’t let us get in the way of your celebrating,” Optimus added, a hint of mischief lighting up his normally serious face.

“Uh. Right. Um.” Bumblebee glanced down at you, his expression hopeful and nervous all at once. “My room? I think we need to talk.”

You nodded. “Good idea.”

“‘Talk’, my aft,” Ratchet grumbled.

You heard Bulkhead hush him, and never felt more grateful to have him as a friend. But before you could say or do anything, you and Bumblebee were alone in his room.


	20. In which 'Teach is a babe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and 'Bee talk. Then you go on your first official date, and get your new nickname.

Bumblebee’s spark was about to burst. Any second now, he was about to be sent back to the Allspark, because he couldn’t take it.

Your smile. Your hand on his face. Your  _ kiss _ .

It happened. It was happening. You were in his  _ room _ .

The only reason Bumblebee had yet to spazz out was purely because you were still in his arms as you both entered his room. He had a moment of regret as he carried you in--it wasn’t as though he’d planned for this, or he would have spruced things up. But the berth was clean enough, so he carefully set you there before settling down next to you on it.

You remained standing, likely because it was easier to meet each other at optic level that way. Bumblebee turned to face you, fidgeting with his servos. Now that you weren’t in his arms, he couldn’t seem to hold still.

And your face was that really cute shade of red again.

“So,” you said, drawing out the word. “What do we…  _ do  _ from here?”

“You’re asking me?” he said, holding up his servos. “I was asking _you_ about Earth dating before, remember?”

You shook your head. “No, that’s not it. I mean.” You reached out a hand toward him, then hesitated and pulled it back. You did that a lot, he’d noticed, and not just with him. “I mean,” you repeated, reaching up that hand to fiddle with your own hair. It was still a mess, he noted fondly. “My question is, do you  _ want  _ to? Date, that is.”

“Is that even a question?” Bumblebee reached out for that hand. He couldn’t help it; now that he’d had you in his arms, he wanted it again. But for now, he contented himself with carefully curling his fingers around your hand and pulling it down in reach. “Of course I do. I’ve wanted to for a while now.”

The relief on your face was palpable. “Good. I mean. Great.” You laughed a little at yourself. “Oh my god, I can’t even talk straight right now.”

“What about you?” Bumblebee pressed.

You looked surprised. “Oh! Yes. Of course.” You moved a little closer, and he smiled to encourage you.

“Good, that settles it. We’re dating. Hey! What’s happening tomorrow for you?”

You blinked. “Tomorrow? Not much, beyond prep work.”

“Well, then, tomorrow sounds as good a day as any to try this whole dating thing, right?”

A smile crept back onto your face. “Okay. Yeah. I’d like that. Did you have something in mind?” A hint of mischief crept into your expression. “More racing games?”

“Pfft, no. Not after the way you cheated maliciously. I’ll want a referee next time." He could still feel tingles around his neck. It wasn’t unpleasant, but man, had it been distracting. “How about we go out somewhere? Maybe I can take you for a drive?”

You shifted a bit closer still. “A drive sounds fun. Maybe we can do some sightseeing?” You considered, then brightened. “Hey, Halloween is soon, isn’t it? We could go costume shopping.”

He felt himself grinning. “Yes! We should check out costumes for sure.” He paused, then quirked his optical ridge. “What’s a Halloween?”

You didn’t laugh, though he could see by the crinkles around your eyes that you wanted to. “I’ll explain,” you promised. “But seriously, Bumblebee… is this okay?”

“What, the date? I wouldn’t have--” He trailed off when you offered him a pointed look. “Oh. You mean--this. Us. Right?”

You nodded. “I’m so happy that we both feel the same way, but… there’s a lot to consider. And we’ll have to be careful, since we’re coming from such different backgrounds.”

“Nah, we don’t have to be all that careful.” Bumblebee did the scooting in this time, sliding a hand around your back and encouraging you to lean against him. You did, to his delight, resting your hand on his leg and leaning against his chassis. “Let’s just have fun. Laugh. Play. Joy isn’t something we expected to find on this rock, so… the fact I found you is kinda a miracle.”

You went red again. _Heh_.

“All right,” you conceded. “We can worry about stuff later. First... Date tomorrow. Then we’ll go from there?”

“Yeah, we’ll go from there.” 

His spark was thrumming excitedly as you wrapped your arms around his middle as far as they would go. “Okay.” You rested your cheek against him, too. You were so soft, so warm.

And you were his now.

He couldn’t resist reaching up to play with your hair a little.

You smirked. “Didn’t you do that enough earlier?”

“I like your hair,” he said, a bit defensively. “I don’t have any or I’d offer to let you play too. It’s only fair.”

“Well, just don’t leave it in such a bad state I can’t fix it.”

“Would I do that to you?”

You rolled your eyes. “You’re so warm,” you said, surprising him.

“Me? Funny. Was gonna say the same about you.” He paused. Part of him still felt fidgety, like they should be dancing or playing more games or racing. But another part? Another part really just wanted to savor this moment.

“You know,” you said, making him start. “I’ve told you about what dating on Earth is like. I think it’s as good a time as any for you to tell me more about what happens on Cybertron.”

Bumblebee chuckled. “Okay. I’ll try not to talk you in circles.”

He explained the basics, which weren’t all that different from what you’d told him about Earth. Flirting, making yourself look nice, treating your partner to nice things, the whole shebang. He carefully skirted around the concept of sparkmates, though, and was glad you had yet to comment on what Prime had said earlier. That might be just a tad too much at this point.

_ One thing at a time.  _

You were listening intently, stopping occasionally to ask questions, and sometimes the questions made you both giggle. But Bumblebee did his best to answer.

Before long, you were yawning, and you held up a hand to stop him from launching into another tangent. “Hey. I wanna keep talking, but… I’m about to fall over here. It’s been a long day. What time is it?” you murmured.

Bumblebee glanced outside. The moon was high, and after a moment of calculating, he let out a sheepish laugh. “It’s after midnight.”

“What? Already?” You sat up, slowly disentangling yourself from him. The side you’d been resting against felt cold as you checked your own watch. “I should be going home.”

“You could stay here,” Bumblebee suggested.

You glanced up at him, and though you smiled, he already knew the answer. “Bumblebee, I’d love to, but I desperately need a shower. And a change of clothes.” You reached up a hand, and he eagerly ducked down to let you run your fingers over his faceplate. The touch was so light, so delicate, and he couldn’t get enough of it. “Maybe… maybe in the future, though.”

“You mean it?”

You nodded. “But I need to go home for now.” 

“Okay. I’ll drive ya.”

The main area was blessedly quiet when the two of you peeked out, so Bumblebee shifted into his alt mode and took you home straight off. It was funny, how something he’d done a bunch already suddenly felt so different. You, in his drivers’ seat. The way you fiddled with the seatbelt.

_ If only… _

He didn’t let himself think on that too much. Instead, he focused on you. On that kiss from earlier. Because wow.

Pulling up to your apartment, he said, “So uh, see you tomorrow?”

You let the seat belt slip from around you and nodded, reaching up to pat the steering wheel. “Yeah. What time?”

“I’m betting you’ll wanna sleep a bit, so… noon?”

“Noon.” You hesitated, then glanced around the parking lot. It was completely quiet as you eased out. Then, you said, “Hey. Change back a second?”

Eagerly, Bumblebee did as he was asked, kneeling down to be as close to your level as possible. He was glad he did when you went up on tiptoe to kiss one side of his faceplate.

You pulled back, offering a shy smile. “See you tomorrow, Bumblebee.” 

He grinned. It felt like he’d never stop smiling. “Yeah. Okay. See ya tomorrow. Totally.”

You laughed, and made your way up the stairs to your apartment. About halfway up, you stopped to wave at him.

Bumblebee waved back.

Eventually, you disappeared into your room. Convinced you were safe, Bumblebee transformed and zoomed out.

He indulged in heading out on the highway, rather than heading straight back home. At some point he turned on his own music, and began to whoop. He couldn’t help it; now it felt like everything that had happened was hitting him, right in the spark, and Primus, if the Allspark took him right this moment he could go a happy ‘bot.

A few humans in their own cars honked at him as he zoomed past; some whooped back at him, and he laughed, reveling in his own joy.

Eventually, however, he knew he had to get back to base. Just because you had a day off tomorrow didn’t mean he necessarily did, and he’d have to recharge before then.

It was about two AM as he trudged back into the plant’s main room, a bit calmer after his joyride. 

He stopped when he saw Ratchet there, awaiting him.

“Docbot? What’re you doin’ up?” Bumblebee asked, quirking an optical ridge and resting a servo on one hip.

“Waitin’ for you. She decide not to stay after all?”

“Not tonight.” Bumblebee fought down a smile. “That’s not the only reason you’re up, is it?”

Ratchet shrugged, hauling himself up from the couch and to his feet. “Kid. I know you’re walkin’ on air right now, but we gotta talk about a couple things. And might as well do it now, rather than later.”

Bumblebee sobered a bit. “If it’s about lifespans, I don’t wanna hear it.”

“Huh?” Ratchet paused, and shot him a look. “I don’t think you’re stupid, kid. I’m talking about other things. Health-related things.”

Bumblebee shot him a blank look.

Ratchet’s look became pointed. “Romance-related things.”

Oh. Oh no. Was he about to get The Talk from Ratchet? At two AM?

“Can this wait?” Bumblebee asked with a sigh. 

“When are you seein’ her next?”

“Tomorrow.” 

Ratchet shook his head. “C’mon. Won’t take long. It’ll be awkward for both of us but the sooner we get this done the better.” He turned toward his medical bay and plodded away.

Bumblebee let out a more dramatic vent of air. “Oh, fine.”

Reluctantly, he followed after.

~*~

It was tough getting to sleep that night, but you somehow managed after an hour or two. The shower, warm and soothing, helped, as did a cup of tea. You’d lingered over your phone and your laptop, tempted to announce what had just happened to everyone.

But you stopped yourself.

After all, hadn’t you just told your mother--insisted, even--that there was no romance between you and any of the Autobots? You weren’t sure you could take the inquisition so soon after that. 

Besides, there was something precious about this moment of private joy. 

Especially given you would have to face the other ‘bots soon enough. On Monday, if not tomorrow.

The thought of them all witnessing your kiss with Bumblebee made you hide your face in your pillow and groan. _Ugh_. At least there were no blurred lines, but still.

Eventually, you dropped off, and woke up with a couple hours to spare before Bumblebee was due to pick you up. You had another shower, and then took to the task of figuring out what on earth you were supposed to wear when you weren’t in work clothes around the ‘bots.

Not that you’d been wearing suits or anything, but you figured something a little nicer or flirtier would work for a drive. Bumblebee didn’t strike you as one who wanted to go out into nature and hike, for example. So you opted for an outfit that was a bit more form-fitting than usual, something that you had worn previously on a first date and had gotten compliments over.

Looking yourself over in the mirror, you wondered if robots tended to look at the same parts humans did when attracted to them.

Despite the cuter-than-usual outfit, you still opted for practical shoes. After all, drive or not, you might have to walk… and especially if you went back to the plant, you didn’t want to be jogging around in heels. Or barefoot. It was still cold there, after all.

Food came after, and you were just finishing up a cup of coffee when your phone rang.

You glanced at the caller ID, then beamed as you picked up. “Hey,” you said.

“ _ Hey _ !” Bumblebee’s voice came through loud and clear. “ _ You ready for adventure _ ?”

“You bet. You on your way?”

“ _ Soon _ !”

“Good.” You paused. “I can’t wait.”

He chuckled. “ _ Me neither. I’m pretty excited. I wanted to hear your voice _ .”

“Are you driving now?”

“ _ Yep _ !” 

You leaned back in your chair. “What’s your ETA? Or should I time you?”

“ _ Ooh, time me _ !”

“Got it.” You wandered over to your kitchen and grabbed the timer. “From the second we hang up. Ready?”

“ _ Ready _ !”

“See you soon, then.  _ Go _ !” 

You hung up, and at the same time hit the start button on your timer. It began to count up. You, meanwhile, headed to your window, peering outside for a sign of Bumblebee.

Less than two minutes later, you saw a familiar yellow compact car skid to a stop in front of the apartment complex. He beeped, and you hit the timer again, noting the time. 

Then, you grabbed hold of your weekend bag and raced out the door.

“How’d I do?” Bumblebee called in greeting.

“A minute and thirty-six seconds,” you called, grinning as you approached. You stopped, facing his alt-mode head-on, and quirked a grin. “Hi.”

“Hiya,” he echoed, his own voice softening. Then, he shook himself, and his door popped open. “C’mon! I figure we can get you some food, and then we can do some trailblazing. And costume shopping!”

You patted the hood of the car as you made your way to the driver’s seat. Sliding in, you waited until he was taking off before saying, “As long as it’s not Burger Bot, I’m all about that plan.”

“Well, tell me where to go. Your options are limitless!”

Grinning, you reached up to run your fingers along the dashboard. After a moment’s thought, you named a place famous for Mexican food, and he proceeded to zip along the street in the direction of the nearest one.

“So what’s with the sleepy look on your face? Did you just wake up?” he asked, a teasing lilt in his voice.

“What? No! I don’t look sleepy!” you protested, sitting upright. “I think you’re projecting. Did you not sleep last night?”

“No! I mean… yeah, I slept, but uhhh, I’ll admit it wasn’t a full nights’ recharge.”

That made you frown. “You okay to drive, then?”

“Of course!” You got the feeling that he would be puffing out his chest if he could. “I’m always good to drive. You just leave it to Bumblebee.”

“Well, all right, but I’m happy to take over if necessary.” You slowly leaned back in the seat again.

“Don’t worry so much! Now, where would be a good place to go check out costumes?”

Lunch was bought and consumed quickly, and Bumblebee was soon zipping downtown toward a place you’d looked up the night before online. You did your best to give directions based on the tiny screen of your tricked-out phone. 

Thankfully, it was the perfect time of year to find all the costume shops open, and the one you’d found was in a strip mall with high ceilings. Bumblebee still had to duck down to carefully squeeze himself through the double doors, but once he was in, he was able to walk normally. He flashed a small grin at you to reassure you, and you smiled back.

Then, you contemplated the world of costumes.

“So what’re the top costumes?” Bumblebee asked. He’d picked up a witch’s hat and was peering into it like one might a telescope.

You tried to hide a smile. “Well, do we want to go with classic horror? Something modern? Something from a video game? Or piece together something completely original?”

“Let’s start with the classics.”

You nodded, walking over toward a rack of simple-looking costumes for adults. “In that case, witches, wizards, Count Dracula, or maybe black cats would all work.”

“What’s a countdra?”

“Count Dracula,” you corrected him, and picked up a package with a picture of a man wearing the costume. Turning, you held it up to him.

He leaned down to inspect it. “Why’s he got fluid leaking around his dentae? ...What’s wrong with his dentae?”

“He’s a vampire. He drinks blood and uses those fangs to bite people.”

Bumblebee recoiled. “Gross!” Then, he leaned in again. “...Awesomely gross.”

Chuckling, you handed the package up to him. “Well, we might have to custom-order something for your size, or try to make something.”

“You think we can make it?”

“Why not? You basically need sharp teeth, fake blood, and a cape, and you’d be good to go.”

“Huh. Okay.” He tossed the package carelessly over one shoulder. You winced as it hit a wall, but thankfully it only knocked a couple other plastic packages down. “What else we got?”

Deciding against saying anything for now, you led him through the shop. For the aisles that were too narrow for him to fit in, you brought out costumes of interest so he could look at the package for ideas. He accepted your commentary, and after the second or third time, sheepishly handed you the packages back rather than tossing them around.

“What about you?” Bumblebee asked suddenly, after you’d already been in there a while.

“What  _ about  _ me?” you asked. 

He quirked his optical ridge at you.

“Oh!” You chuckled, and shrugged. “Let’s see. I was a cat last year, so I think I want something a little different.”

“What if I went for that Count who-sit costume from before? Is there like, a girl version of that?”

You tapped your index finger against your chin in thought. “He has wives in the book,” you said, half to yourself. “I could go as a ‘bride of Dracula’, I suppose. Though I’m not sure what they’d wear, aside from the fangs. And a spooky dress.”

It was then that a sales associate squeaked out an, “Um.”

You and Bumblebee turned to see a teenage boy with wild hair and a lanky body gazing up at the Autobot with wide-eyed awe.

“C-can I help you?” the teen continued.

Bumblebee brightened. “Oh, sure! We’re looking for Halloween costumes! Got any recs?”

The teen swallowed. “Well, uh, you could go as an anime character. Mech and gundam animes are pretty popular.”

Bumblebee glanced at you.

You smiled. “Cartoons where people ‘drive’ vehicles that are about your size, if not bigger, and move around on stabilizers like you do.”

“What? No way! Do I look like any of those things?”

You shrugged, and the teen stepped in to talk about various characters Bumblebee could potentially pretend to be… if he was willing to get a temporary paint job.

While Bumblebee talked animatedly with the clerk, you decided to grab a witch dress and hat. Simple, easy to alter, and… easy to add vampire fangs to. You did that, tossing it all into a little basket to take up front. 

“Thanks, dude,” Bumblebee was saying to the teen, who looked about ready to spontaneously combust with excitement at talking to an Autobot. Then, he glanced over at you. “You find something?”

You held up your little basket. “Yep! Got any good ideas?”

“Thanks to Jay here, yeah,” Bumblebee said with a grin. 

You started toward the cash register, where you saw another teen watching you approach with wide eyes. Or, more accurately, she was watching Bumblebee slowly walk after you. Her legs seemed to give out for a second before she valiantly held herself upright by pressing her hands into the counter.

Honestly, you couldn’t judge.

“Hi,” you said, offering her a smile. “Just this, please?”

“Oh my god,” the younger woman said, continuing to stare over your shoulder. “Is that what I think it is?”

“Who,” you corrected.

“Hi!” Bumblebee interjected.

The teen pulled her phone out of her pocket with one hand, the other hand still holding her upright. “Can I get a selfie with you?” she blurted out.

You glanced over your shoulder at Bumblebee.

He looked down at you. When you shrugged, he nodded. “Uh, sure, why not?”

What followed were several minutes where more workers came out of hiding, drawn in by Bumblebee’s friendly nature and willingness to pose for selfies. You stepped out of the way and waited by the cash register, resigning yourself to the fact that this was probably going to be a regular thing.

You pulled out your phone and attempted to pass the time on it while you waited, occasionally glancing up to see Bumblebee in one strange pose after another. Once in a while he made eye contact with you, and you raised an eyebrow. He would flash a grin and get back to it.

Eventually, the teen who had been working the register made her way back over, phone in hand, enthusiastically gushing. “That is so cool! How are you not over there taking photos with him too? I never see him shopping!”

You smiled. “I guess Autobots don’t usually need costumes.”

“I guess, but… wait, you came in here with him, right?” The teen finally took your items, scanning them, and you pulled out your card to swipe.

“Yeah. We were trying to think of ideas.”

“Are you, like, his fashion advisor or something?”

You glanced over to see Bumblebee making his way toward the exit. “Uh,” you said eloquently.

“Anyway, that’s so cool. My friends are going to be so jealous. Usually we only see those guys on TV.”

You accepted the bag she offered you, and stuffed your receipt into it as she continued to gush about her experience. You looked around to see that Bumblebee had slipped outside, but was watching you… and you could see that he was tapping his foot. 

As if you weren’t the one who’d been waiting for him for the past several minutes.

Rolling your eyes, you thanked the teen the moment she stopped to catch her breath, then headed outside.

“There you are!” Bumblebee said, smirking down at you. “Jeez, what took so long?”

“Your adoring fan back there did,” you told him. 

“Yeah, she was pretty great. Actually, all of them were! I don’t usually go into these shops. If anything, I usually go into the auto shops.”

You couldn’t resist. Putting on your most innocent expression, you asked, “How come? ‘Cuz you’re an  _ Auto _ bot?”

“I--” He paused. Then, he shot you a playful look of exasperation. “That was  _ bad _ .”

You giggled. “Sorry. Couldn’t help it.”

“Uh huh. All right, Miss Punster, what should we do next?”

You glanced around. “You wanna walk along the mall a bit? I dunno if anything else in this area would interest you, but…”

He shrugged. “I think I saw a car shop not too far from here, so sure. Let’s head over that way.”

You half expected him to change back into his alt mode, and was pleasantly surprised when he just began to walk in that direction. You followed, picking up your pace. You were surprised again when he glanced your way, and something in his expression softened. Then, he slowed down, matching your pace.

“Sorry. Tell me when I’m going too fast,” he said.

You grinned. “Never.”

That startled a chuckle out of him. 

The two of you spent an hour or two wandering along, pointing out things in shops. Most places were too small for him to get in, so when he saw something interesting you were the one to go in and ask the staff if you could bring the item in question out where Bumblebee could inspect it. Every time, the staff would come out to see “the famous Autobot” in question, and selfies would ensue.

You tried not to be annoyed about it. After all, Bumblebee was a hero of Detroit, and in their shoes you would likely have acted just the same. Especially as Bumblebee made a point of chatting to every person who wanted to speak to him. You were mostly ignored, which you had mixed feelings about. After all, keeping a low profile was nice, but…

_ This is a date _ , you were tempted to tell them on more than one occasion. Especially when someone would ask if Bumblebee would take them for a spin. 

But you kept your mouth shut. You had been the one to suggest the walk, after all.

Still, when you got to the car shop and a mechanic wandered out to talk shop with Bumblebee, you almost wanted to growl at him for it.

You glanced around, trying to find something to catch your interest so you wouldn’t get irritated at Bumblebee. Not like this was his fault, after all. 

“Babe.”

You spotted some silly decals on the far wall, and decided to make your way over there. They wouldn’t hold your attention for longer than a minute, you knew, but any kind of distraction would be good right now.

“Babe?”

Bumblebee sounded like he was trying out a new word and wasn’t sure how to use it. What was he talking to that mechanic about, anyway? You reached the decals, and looked at the first one. It had a reference to that one song. What was it? Something about tractors being sexy?

“Babe!”

You finally turned to see that Bumblebee was staring expectantly at you, practically bouncing on what would be his toes if you were a human.

That’s when it hit you.

_ Babe?! Did… he mean me? _

“Sorry, what?” you said.

His expression brightened, and you also spotted more than a little relief in his face as he held out a pair of fuzzy dice to you. “Check these out! What are these for?”

You walked over to take them from him. You turned them over in your hands, ducking your head to hide your reaction.  _ He did! He called me ‘babe’!  _ “They’re decoration,” you said aloud, trying not to stammer. “You put them on the rear view mirror. It’s just something fun to dangle there to make your car stand out a bit.”

“Huh. They’re a nice texture.” He reached over and plucked a car freshener from the rack, holding that out to you next. “And this?”

You smiled a little despite yourself. “This is to make your car smell nice. It’s got a scent. This one’s like pine trees.” You made a show of sniffing it.

“Pine trees? Like nature?” He made a face. “Gross.” He put it away, then grabbed another one. “This one?”

“You can read it yourself, I know you can,” you said, now amused.

He shot you a pair of puppy eyes. “C’mon, just tell me?”

And so Bumblebee lured you into explaining every little thing in the car shop he could land his eyes on. At one point you had a literal armful of doo-dads that he found ‘neat’. The mechanic from earlier approached, but only to offer you a basket to carry your things in. You accepted, and then the mechanic retreated as Bumblebee called you over to check out those decals that you had been looking at earlier.

Before you knew it, you were saying, “Do you want all this stuff? I dunno if you’ll be able to fit it all.”

He paused, thinking. “I mean, I can put the stuff I’m not using in my room. Those dangly things can hang from anything, right?”

“True.” You smiled up at him. “Then, consider this stuff a gift. My treat.”

He reacted with wide optics and parted lips. “B-b-but,” he stammered. “You sure?”

“Yep. I’m treating you. Deal with it,” you said, adding a wink to assure him you were teasing.

A smile stretched across his faceplate. “ _ Awesome _ .” 

When you took your pile of stuff to the cash register, the worker there glanced between you and the Autobot behind you, and said, “Let me apply the employee discount.”

You blinked. “Are you sure?”

“You’re that teacher that works for the Autobots, right?” The cashier typed something into the register, and the amount was significantly less than you’d been bracing yourself to pay for.

“Oh my god. Is that--are you sure that’s okay?” When the cashier nodded, you grinned. “Thank you so much!”

“It’s our pleasure, having someone like him come in here. Good for business.”

You swiped your card, gathered everything up in a bag, and presented it to a Bumblebee that was vibrating with excitement.

“Sweet!” he crowed, sweeping it up in one servo. He then carefully tucked it all into his subspace. “This is the best day ever so far!”

You grinned. “You’re welcome.” 

The two of you made your way out of the store, at which point you felt compelled to speak. “So. Babe?” you asked, glancing up at him.

Bumblebee paused. Then, he vented out some steam and let out a nervous laugh. “Uh. Yes?”

“What’s with the nickname change?”

“You don’t like it?”

“No!” you rushed to reassure him. But it was apparently the wrong thing to say, because he wilted. “I mean. It’s not that I don’t like it, because I do,” you added quickly. As he began to perk up again, you continued. “I just wasn’t expecting it. You’ve always called me ‘Teach, so I wasn’t listening for it.”

“Yeah, well…” He offered a somewhat shy smile. “It’d be kinda weird for me to call you that when we’re dating… right?”

You reached out for his hand, then hesitated. You were discussing this in a rather public place, but given how new this was, you weren’t sure what was okay or not. “Right,” you said, letting your hand drop without making contact.

To your surprise, Bumblebee reached out and caught your hand, pulling it toward him. 

Warmth flooded your cheeks, and you snapped your head up to stare at him in surprise.

His smile had grown a bit. “You can do that anytime you want, y’know. I don’t mind. Honest.”

You felt his thumb gently resting on top of the back of your hand. The pressure, while naturally heavier than a human’s hand would be, was comforting, and you wrapped your hands around two of his fingers to offer them a squeeze. He watched you in uncharacteristic silence as you settled your hand where you wanted it to be.

Then, you said, “Okay. I’ll try to remember that.”

“If you forget, I’ll remind you.” He winked, which startled a laugh out of you. “Right, where we going next? You need to refuel yet?”

Tilting your head, you nodded. “I could eat… but don’t you need something too?”

“I came prepared.” Grinning, he reached into his subspace with his free hand and produced a can of oil. 

“Oh, well in that case, why don’t we grab food for me, then go park ourselves somewhere?”

“The riverfront?” Bumblebee suggested.

You nodded. “Let’s do it.”


End file.
